Bella danced around her room in her boxers and bra, swaying and swerving from side to side with the bottle of vodka held very loosely in her hand. Her clothes that she had put on that very morning were strewn across her bedroom floor. Bella was drunk. Again. In fact, she rarely knew anymore what it was like to be sober. The alcohol soaked up the pain from the memories and took it away, even if only for a few hours. It made it easier to deal with.

She dropped to the floor, in hysterics. Not able to tell whether she was laughing or crying. The bottle crashed to the floor, shards of glass flying everywhere, vodka leaking. Bella crawled to the desk and picked up the small box again, emptying it into her hand and searching for her finest piece of metal.

Fiddling with it carelessly, she sat and stared at it. Trying to focus. Her eyesight failed her and it began.

- - - - - x - - - - -

The sirens blared but it was far too late. Everyone knew it but Bella tried to shrug it off. She couldn't. She couldn't shake the feeling that this was all her fault. Bella stood there, shocked and frozen. How on earth was she going to cope now? Her Mother was on a board. In one of those.. bin bags. What? Was that it? You die and they just throw you out like yesterday's trash? Literally?

- - - - - x - - - - -

The blade, it stung. Three days, a personal best for Bella. She managed three days without slicing herself to pieces. The razor dug in so deep, it would have been a miracle if it didn't come out of the other side of her arm. The feeling never went away though. It was always the same thing every single time. As soon as the razor touched skin, it's like the abyss started to empty itself of all the memory-filled water. And Bella was being washed ashore.

Blood gushed down her arm and onto her rug. Bella smiled in ecstasy as she pressed harder and harder.

"Oooooopsie daaaaaisy. Mummy won't be happy with that stain." Bella slurred between hiccups.

Reality hit.

Deeper and deeper and deeper went the blade, until chunks started to bulge out of her arm. Chunks of what, she failed to care. But that was her favourite part. It meant it was nearly time.

'Lullabies' started to play after Bella had cleaned herself up. She looked down at her arm, a satisfied smile spreading. She hoped to see the end as she swayed in time to the music.

- Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams.. -

"Yep, I'll see you right there you guys." Bella slurred once again, right before crashing out on the bathroom floor.