Dear María

We went to doctors the next day, and the woman, Vicky printed us some ultrasounds. We were so damn happy and every minute that passed, I felt myself fall in love with the little peanut inside of me.
Three days later, I had recently decided to take my after-lunch-nap, like I did back in Spain because I was tired. I smiled at myself with my eyes closed, feeling Jack’s warm body next to me.
“What are you smiling at?” he caressed my cheek.
I opened my eyes and giggled softly when I saw my lovely boyfriend laying in front of me on his side, smiling at me with those big and deep brown eyes.
“You’re here” I smiled.
“Of course I am” he scooped closer and kissed me softly, “I kind of got bored playing xbox” my eyes widened, but before I could say anything, “What time is it?” he asked.
“Hmm” I turned around and grabbed my phone, and faced Jack, “4:30pm”
“Shit” he groaned.
“What’s wrong, babe?” I furrowed my eyebrows and turned his body, so he was laying on his back, and sat on his thighs.
“I promised Calum I’d be at their show today” he raised up on his elbows and put a hand on my waist softly.
“Calum?” I raised and eyebrow, “WAIT A SECOND” I raised my voice slightly, earning a chuckle from Jack, “You’re talking about Calum Hood? From 5SOS?” he nodded and I put a hand on my mouth to muffle a squeal, Jack was now laughing at me, completely sitting up and putting both his hands on my waist, “Oh my gosh”
“They’re coming to Baltimore today and I told them I’d hang around with them before and after the show” he explained with a smile, “You wanna come?”
“Nah, I’ll stay” he gave me a confused look, “As much as I’d like to join you guys, when was the last time since tour you had a guys night?” I asked, almost stated, like it was the most obvious thing in the world (which it was).
“Hmm, actually-“ I cut him off.
“Jack, just go and have fun with your friends” I smiled at him, “I’ll be alright on my own”
“You sure?” he looked up at me.
“Completely” I smiled again and pecked his lips, “If anything's up I’ll call alright?”
“Fine” he sighed, “It’s just... not everyday my beautiful girlfriend is pregnant” I chuckled and leaned down to kiss him, he put his hands on my hips and smiled into the kiss.
“You really want to be a dad, I guess?” I chuckled.
“Well, first I wanted to propose to you and everything, but since it’s already there…” he smiled and pecked my lips and the tip of my nose.
“Yeah, I kind of wanted to wait a bit longer as well” I said, almost whispering.
“Hey” he made me look at him, “We’re gonna be parents!”
“The best ones” I smirked.
“I can’t wait to see your more developed pregnant body” he said.
“You mean my bigger boobs” I laughed.
“And butt” he pecked my lips again with a smirk.
Then his phone started to ring and Jack groaned.
“Yes?” he answered, a bit annoyed.
There was a noise at the other side of the line.
“Sorry about that, Calum- yes, I am coming” I supressed a squeal and started to giggle softly. By now, I should be used to being around my favourite band members, but my inner fangirl wouldn’t go away.
“Alright, bye” he hung up and turned to me, “You’re such a fangirl” he kissed me and I moved so he could stand up and start to get dressed.
“Yep, but I am your fangirl” I smirked.
“And my parakeet” he pecked my lips, pulling his jeans up.
I watched him whilst he put on the rest of his clothes and shoes.
“You’re sure you don’t wanna join us?” he asked when he put on his jacket, both of us going down the stairs.
“I’m suuure” I said when we got to the front door. I opened it, about to push him outside when I saw four guys in front of me.
I opened my mouth but shut it and turned to Jack, a bit embarrassed.
“Hey, guys, I thought I was coming to meet you” Jack greeted.
“Yeah, well, but you were taking so long we thought we-“ Michael started.
“No, don’t worry, it’s fine” Jack smiled and turned to me, “Guys this is María, my girlfriend, María, you already know who they are”
“I’m sure he talked about us” Luke smirked.
I just tried to breathe normally. Fangirl attack. Dont judge me, you’d do the same.
“I think she’s fangirling” Michael laughed and I chuckled.
“I take it you’re not very used to having band members around?” Luke asked me.
“More or less” Jack answered for me.
“Jack, I have a mouth, you know” I started to speak.
“I know you do” he whispered in my ear, loud enough for the guys to hear.
They laughed and I took a deep breath.
“Hey, guys” I finally greeted.
“Damn she has a mouth!” Ashton laughed.
“Ha, ha” I said sarcastically, but smiling, “Well, I’m not gonna distract you anymore” I turned to Jack, “Have fun, Jacky”
“Wait, you’re not coming with us?” Michael looked disappointed.
“Nope, because he hasn’t left my side since we came from tour and he needs to have a guys night” I stated, getting behind Jack and pushing him forward.
“BUT-“ he started to pout.
“No ‘but’s, come on, don’t make a scene” I smirked when he turned to me, the guys couldn’t stop laughing.
“I’ll miss you” he put his hands on my waist.
“No, you won’t” I smirked and pecked his lips, the guys letting out an ‘aw’, I turned to them, “Just don’t get him too drunk and no strip clubs”
“YES, MISS!” Luke said, in a militar greeting way. I chuckled.
Jack kissed me before he walked out with them and started to walk down the street, getting some bro hugs, playful slaps and those weird things guys do. Men.
I closed the front door and asked myself what could I do to distract myself and decided to go to see Stella. Jack had given me his car keys and since he wasn’t using it today, I drove to the equestrian centre.
I started to meet the vet and her assitants, and instantly hit it off with every member of the staff. Stella was put in a bigger paddock, with her little stable at the back in case it rained. She had trees at the back of her paddock and in the paddock to her left was another dampled and andalusian stallion which I read his name was Ladrón (thief) and, to her right, a black andalusian. I knew because of how they were cantering and how thick their necks were.
I met some instructors and made some new friends, some people there knew me and some people knew Oriol personally. I also met three spanish girls; one girl used to live in Madrid, another one lived in Seville (a pure andalusian girl), and the other one was from Valencia. I discovered that the andalusian girl, Lucía, was the owner of the black andalusian mare next to Stella and that her horse’s name was Harina (flour, which I found it quite ironic because she was pitch black).
After talking to everyone and kissing Stella goodbye, I drove back home, starting to memorize the route. It wasn’t that far from our house, though.
When I got back home I saw the back door open. I knew that as soon as I walked there someone would attack me or kill me from behind, so I looked around franatically before walking to the door and shutting it.
Too many movies, María.
I walked to the living room and sighed in relief ,when someone put a hand over my mouth and I screamed, but the scream was muffled.
“So long, Mari” I heard Mikel behind me.
He laughed.
“You have ten seconds to hide, counting” he let me go, but instead of running, like I’d do in a normal occasion, I turned around and kicked him right in his balls and then ran to find a place to call Jack.
“I said run, not kick!” I felt something grab my feet and I fell down. My first instinct was to check my lower abdomen, checking to make sure I had no blood. I didn’t and sighed. Just then, Mikel was hovering over me and with a devious smirk in his features, he noticed my quick check and his smirk only grey wider.
“You’re pregnant, fattie?” he laughed. I started to cry. I wasn’t the monster, he was the monster.
“I asked you a question” he slapped me and laughed again when he saw my painful expression.
“Playing hard, are you? You little whore” he grabbed my arm and pulled me up, I could hardly stand and he took the chance to push me against the wall and started to punch my gut, and then went harder on my stomach.
I was trying not to cry, unsuccessfully, and wished for him to stop when I felt something wrong inside of me; like someone just ripped a small bag full of water inside of me and a horrible pain coming right after, and he stopped. He laughed once more and then he was gone.
I looked down and instantly looked for my phone, tears rolling down my cheeks.
“911. What is your emergency?” the woman said calmly.
“I think just had an… a violent miscarriage” I sobbed. I didn’t really think I had a miscarriage. I knew.
A miscarriage, what I feared the most. I cried harder.
“Where are you, miss?” she asked, still calm. How do they do it?!
I gave the directions to the house and she said there was an ambulance coming to get me and I hung up.
I started to breathe heavily.
It was my fault. I shouldn’ve locked the house properly. I shouldn’ve ran instead of pissing him off, maybe I could’ve called Jack in time. It was my fault. It was all my fault. And now Jack will hate me. He loved that peanut aswell. I killed it.
I started to cry harder and I couldn’t breathe properly.
In the past few months with Jack, he had helped the side of me which kept fighting for life become stronger, so my brain automatically searched for Jack’s voice.
I love you.
If you do have a miscarriage, I’ll be there to help you.
Breathe.
You’re not a monster.
I love you.
I tried but I couldn’t. I couldn’t hear or notice anything.
And then I couldn’t see, my vision went black and the nothing.

Notes

I actually feel sorry for @yeah nah because you keep saying this is so good and now there's this :D But I'm not sorry, so bare with me.
Comment? (Don't kill me please)

Title credit: Mother Murder by Hollywood Undead.