Dear María

We spent the rest of the day cuddling on the sofa. I was so damn happy.
Me? A dad! Somehow I felt a bit sad, because I prefered proposing to her, getting married and all that stuff first, but I couldn’t really complain. Did I mention I was happy?
I looked at her, we were watching Castle, a TV show she claimed to love, along with Skins UK, American Horror Story and lots more.
Well, as I was saying, we were watching Castle, an episode named Punked (which sadly wasn’t about punk music), when Richard Castle entered a room just to find his daughter making out with some guy, with an old and weird gun in his hand, scaring the guy off. Everytime he made a gesture with his hands, the gun somehow pointed at that poor guy. I laughed and María looked at me.
“I hope you’re not getting ideas” she smiled, shaking her head.
“Nah, I’ll be more hardcore” I smirked at her.
“Jack, I won’t let you scare the guy off” she tried not to laugh at me.
“But that’ll be my job!” I pouted.
She sighed and laughed.
“Alright, just promise me one thing” she stuck her index finger up.
“Yes?” I said in a charming voice.
“We’ll take millions of photos” I laughed, “I want to make sure to have lots of albums to show to her boyfriends”
“Who said it’ll be a girl?” I raised and eyebrow.
“What do you want it to be?” she turned to me with a sweet loving smile.
“I don’t care, but I’d like a boy” I said, remembering what I said in an interview in BUZZNET, in which I said I wanted a guy to take him to strip clubs and do that kind of stuff a cool dad does.
“Yay! Little Jack running around” she giggled. That fucking cute giggle that made me smile every time.
“Also I’d want a girl” I looked at her with sweet eyes, “Little María playing with her dolls” I smirked, trying to picture it.
She chuckled and buried her face in my chest, trying to hide a blush.
That’s when my phone rang.
“Hello?” I asked. I didn’t look at the contact.
“Hmm, hello? Is this María Mussons?” a male voice asked.
“Who is this?” I stood up and held one finger up at a confused looking María.
“I’m Sam Evans, from the airport. Just to communicate you that we’ve recieved a horse, Stella, from Barcelona. Who am I talking to?” I smiled and walked to the hallway, where María couldn’t see me.
Let’s say I changed her phone number to mine when she did the tranport thing for Stella, although I didn’t get to change when we checked Stella in Baltimore’s riding center.
“I’m Jack Barakat, María’s girlfriend” And soon to be the father of the baby she was currently carrying, I wanted to say that, but I didn’t.
“Can I talk to her, please?” Sam asked.
“She’s sleeping. When could we go to get her?”
“If it’s not a problem, either right now or tomorrow”
“Alright, thankyou” I prepared to hang up.
“Thanks to you” I hung up.
“Who was it?” María asked from the sofa.
“Get changed, we’re going somewhere” I held back a smirk
“Where are we going?” she frowned, but moved anyways.
“You’ll see” I smirked.
-
“Jack, can I remove the blindfold now?” she sounded impatient.
As soon as she entered the car, I blindfolded her.
“No, just wait” I guided her to the information point in the airport, “Stand here”
She nodded and I walked to the girl there.
“Hello, I came to pick up a horse?” I asked, trying not to sound too… weird.
“I need your documentation first” she stated, I nodded and walked to María.
“Any chance you have your ID here?” she nodded and gave me her wallet.
“What are you doing, Jack?” she frowned.
“Just wait” I smirked and walked to the girl again, and handing her María’s ID and the transportation information she (for some odd reason) had in her wallet.
“Is that the owner?” she asked, pointing her finger in María’s direction.
“Yeah, I kind of want to surprise her” I smirked and looked at my blindfolded and confused girlfriend.
“Are you any relative of hers?” she asked, not looking at me, but at the documents.
“Boyfriend, we live together” Aaand soon to be the father of the baby growing inside of her. I smirked at my thoughts.
“Alright, follow me, please” she turned to a girl and soon a man substitued her, whilst she waited for me to get María.
“Thanks, babe” I placed her wallet in her hands, “Come on”
“Jack, what’s going on?” she asked as we walked around behind the girl that attended me.
“You’ll understand in a minute”
“You’re weird” she sighed.
“But you love it” I smirked.
“I know you’re smirking, you idiot” she chuckled.
We finally got to a big room, I could smell different scents here, mostly horses, and heard an animal trying to break a door. The girl who brought us here walked to a guy and they started talking. Then the guy’s head shot up and indicated us -well, me- to follow him. I made María move.
“Hey, Danny” the guy suddenly shouted, making María jump a bit, “Get the dample andalusian out”
I turned to María with a smirk.
“Jack, you d-didn’t-“ she started.
“Oh, yes I did” I removed her blindfold just when we could see from the other side of the big room, a man carry Stella out of a big box, and that noise of before stopped. Another guy started to get her box (where María kept her saddle and stuff) and walked next to him. As soon as she saw María, Stella’s pinned-back ears shot up and bit the guy taht was carrying her, María gasped.
He let go of the rope and Stella galloped to María, luckily the floor wasn’t a proper floor, it was more like someone put four walls around an desert area in the middle of an open and natural without caring about the flooring. María let go of my arm she was gripping and walked to Stella, dragging me with her. Stella soon catched her and started to suddenly slow down a few steps away from us, jumping with her legs a few times before stopping in front of María, she was tearing up.
“Stella!” she hugged her neck and as she did so, she held the rope. Stella curled her neck around her and looked at me with a soft look in her eyes.
The something changed, she lowered her head softly but brought it back up and gave María a worried look, she just shrugged and turned to me with a smile.
After that, we called the center and they picked Stella up and called some vets so they could begin her check up. After stayed with her until almost midnight, we headed back home and I pulled her into a hug when we entered our bedroom.
“Thankyou so much, Jacky” she kissed me lonvingly, but something was off.
“You’re welcome, baby” I smiled softly and felt a frown start to appear on my face. “What’s wrong, María?” I asked her.
“What’s wrong?” she tried to hide her busted look.
“Don’t lie to me, baby” I said sadly. It hated to see her worried, "Stella looked so happy and suddenly she eyed you with sad face. What was that about?” I asked softly.
“Hmmm… I…” I put two fingers under her chin and made her look at me.
“Tell me, please” I urged, hoping not to sound that desperate.
“I… You’ll think I’m a monster” she looked away.
“Of course not” I pecked her lips and put my hands softly on her skinny hips. I didn’t like to feel her bones, I knew she knew that too, but I never removed them because I knew that made her feel rejected. I brought her closer to me.
“I-It’s about Mikel” I sighed and pulled her into a hug and sat on the bed, pulling her on my lap, “I-I-“
“Deep breaths, babe” I rubbed soft circles on her back.
“Well, the thing is… this is n-not my f-first pregnancy” I frowned when she said that and imagined the worst. I’ll kill that asshole.
I chose my words carefully, afraid I’d fuck up and make her cry.
“Did he rape you?” I asked as soft as I could.
She nodded and took a deep breath, leaning on my body. I wraped my arms around her and pressed her tightly against me.
“What happened to the kid?” I asked, a bit curious. She never mentioned having a kid or anything.
“I-I... I a-aborted it” she sobbed and I pulled her even tighter to me.
“Shh, it’s okay” I kissed her temple.
“No, Jack, it’s not okay. I’m a monster” that hurt me. This beautiful girl I’m so inlove with, thinking she’s a monster.
“No, you’re not a monster” I rested my chin carefully on hers, my hands still trying to calm her down, “Just curious, why?” I asked, being soft and careful all the time.
She seemed to calm down a bit.
“Why?” alright, now she sounded a bit pissed. Hormones. “I was seventeen, and he started to threaten me and beat me up, do you know what a kid meant, Jack?” I shook my head, focusing on her words instead of her pissed off expression, “It meant he would leave me, come back to beat me up, and maybe beat the poor kid as well. Then, if I tried to called the police, it meant him using the excuse of the child to visit me” now she started to cry. “Also, I couldn't stand the thought of telling my own kid he was a mistake, a product of a rape. You know how shitty that sounds?” this girl had some damn good points. I wouldn’t like to tell my kid that, in her situation, “Also, I feel bad enough for being adopted and most of the time I’m blaming myself for not being loved by my biological parents, to put him in adoption after carrying him nine months” she started hyperventilating.
I made her look at me.
“Hey, listen to me. You’re not a monster, you didn’t do it just for yourself, but you thought about that kid as well. You are not a monster” she cried harder and tried to look away when I kissed her, trying to bring my point across. I pulled away first, “Breathe, babe” I commanded her. She tried to breathe normally and soon, her breaths were steady and she gradually stopped crying.
“I love you” she cried a bit.
“I love you too” I cupped her face with my hands and kissed her lonvingly.
When we pulled away she stopped crying and looked at me with loving, but red eyes.
“What does Stella have to do with all of this, by the way?” I asked.
“Horses can smell when you’re your period, or pregnant” she clarified, “And she knew what happened with Mikel, so she looked sad in case I was scared or something”
“Are you?” I asked, moving my hands to her neck and started to draw circles there.
“I’m just scared of a miscarriage” she sucked in a breath. I pecked her lips.
“Don’t worry, babe” I put a hand on her hair, brushing it softly with my fingers, “And if you do have one, I’ll be there to help you” then something else crossed my mind, “And we can try again” I whispered in her ear.
I leaned a bit so out foreheads touched.
“I love you so much, my horny idiot” she giggled.

Notes

Told you I updated again (well, I was starting to doubt it as well, but bleh) C:

Title credit: So Long Soldier by All Time Low.