Fathom Into Constellations

School for the rest of the week was normal, nothing exciting happened and nothing exciting changed; nothing progressed and nothing failed for now… so I guess that is a bonus at its best. I enjoyed going to school despite how nerdy that sounds, I like learning new things and different skills but most of all I like the sense of normality that clung to me whilst I was within the school building. 8.30-1500; the hours, I, Abigail Zara Keegan was allowed to feel more alive than ever.

I was invited to hang around with Rian and his friends tonight they were holding a party in Jack’s house since his parents were out of town - it was an offer I could turn down; another way to feel more alive. But first I had to attend the support group that I had been attending for what seems like a long time now. It wasn’t anything fancy and it wasn’t inviting in the slightest, the walls were wooden and the floor was wooden as well - to an outsider it would’ve looked like a scouts meeting in a cabin.

“Good afternoon everyone. How are we all keeping?” Jessica the leader of the group or as we call her the one with the false qualifications, her tack wasn’t always there especially when breaching fragile situations. Everyone around started mumbling to themselves trying to ignore the question she had asked, nobody liked talking about it. Jessica turned her head in my direction smiling “Abi. How are you? We all heard your news, you must keep us updated” ‘New’s’ I thought, it wasn’t news, it was a step in prolonging and clinging onto the world before me. “I’ve been fine.” I said watching the group around me nod their hands taking deep loud breaths. “It’s not news. It’s just slowing down the inevitable.”

Soon after the support group, I found myself standing outside Jack’s house with my friend Tori(from the support group) beside me. Tori was excited to be attending this, she had never been to a house party before but then again neither had I. “Play it cool, Tor.” I muttered to her as my hand reach for the door bell.

“Abi.” Jack shouted lunging himself forward onto me throwing me into a hug. “And who are you?” He said turning his attention to Tori who was blushing like crazy. “Tori” she squealed before covering her mouth with her hands trying to shield herself from more embarrassment. Tori and I found ourselves wandering around Jack’s outside pool area trying to find somewhere to sit, soon enough we found two vacant sun loungers beside a group of guys - Jack’s party was bouncing and his home had to be filled with at least 40 people, none of them I recognised.

“Abi” Tori said abruptly with a disapproving look on her face “You should’t be smoking.” She was right, I shouldn’t, but life was meant for living and everyones view on living is different. “Tori. We are going to pass at some point anyway” I sighed. This was not a conversation I wanted to be having right here and right now. “The statistics are against us, I’m just trying to grasp everything before I have to tell everyone the truth.” Tori nodded her head knowingly “When will you let them know?” She added. “Soon. I’m going to tell them once its my turn to show my assignment which starts next week”

Tori left the party around 11 o’clock because her mom came to pick her up, I was still awaiting my mom to show her face to take me home but I needed someone to carry me to the car because I wasn’t feeling to good, the feeling that I had became so used to; the feeling of sickness, the sore limbs - overall the feeling of being like a fragile pair of shoes that would break at any touch. “Jack” I shouted to the skunk haired boy from across the pool, he didn’t hesitate to run over, obviously the pain evident in my face. “Can you help me to the car? My mums picking me up” He didn’t say anything the only thing he could muster was a nod.

Jack and I sat outside his house waiting for my mom, she said she wasn’t going to be long. Jack hadn’t uttered a word which was unusual for him. “What’s wrong?” I asked patting his back with all the strength I could find. “Your f-f-f-f-friend.” He stuttered shaking his head “She’s dying isn’t she?” I knew what he meant and that he obviously wanted some sort of knowledge that it wasn’t true but I could’t lie, Tori never admitted it. The only thing I found myself being able to do is nod, his big brown eyes now filling with tears. “The breathing back pack gave it away. She mentioned you though” There was no smiles or any hint of joking evident in his voice. “Are yy—-y—you?” He caught my smile faulted from false happy to worried “We are all going to die Jack. My time however might come a little quicker.” I whispered “Don’t get yourself involved Jack. I am a time bomb and I will take you down with me, right now I’m trying to limit the pain I cause.”

Luckily my mom had turned up before the conversation became more heated, I hoped and prayed that he wouldn’t remember for Monday because lets face it he was a little drunk.

Notes

Big thanks for 'Rebecca.Troy' for commenting, your opinion really helped, thank you.

I'm not to sure on this chapter, I don't know if I've wrote it well enough to portray the seriousness. Let me know what you think xoxo Arianna