Life Being on Tour

Alex called after me:"Jack! Wait a second, please!"
I stopped my walk and looked at him with crossed arms:"What do you want?"
"Please Jack, don't act like that."
I asked him unnerved:"Why should I listen to you? You said that I'm playing our song wrong."
"So what? Everyone makes mistakes! There's nothing wrong with that.", he said adding a smile.
"But it is."
"No, it's not."
"Like I said, yes it is. You told me that I played the right notes wrong."
Alex looked concerned at me.
"What?"
"That was a joke, Jack."
"As if."
Alex sighed:"Jack, you should know that I was only joking. As if Rian would say that to you.. Think about it."
I thought about what happened and came to the conclusion that he's right. Rian wouldn't say something like that to me.
"So.. are you gonna come back to the stage and finish the gig with us?", he asked reaching his hand out to me.
"Alright, alright.. I'll come back.", I said, accepting his offer.

As we walked back on stage we've got welcomed with a cheering crowd.
"He's back guys, no need to worry.", Alex explained to the crowd.
"Yeah, but that's just because he..", I began but didn't finish because Alex interrupted me.
"Don't tell em that."
I had to smile because he knew what I was going to joke about and played along.
"He's.."
"Jac.. Don't.. They're not supposed to know that."
"What shouldn't we know?", Rian asked, acting like he had no clue.
"It's n..nothing.", Alex said faking a stutter.
"Ew! Get a room you two!", Zack added, halfway laughing because he knew exactly that we were just joking.

After the gig I went to a bar to drink and maybe to talk with some sweet girl, who knows. Don't judge me, I'm alone and single. So don't judge me.

As I was drinking my second drink a girl approached me and asked to have a drink with her.
"Sure. Why not, I'm Jack."
"Hi Jack, nice to meet you. I'm Rebecca."
We slammed our drink silently down.
"So, what is a cute guy like you doing here all alone?"
"Drinkin some alcohol?", I replied questiongly, because it seemed more odd to me that a girl would be at a bar.
"Okay.", she said sipping at her second drink.
"And what has a girl to do at a bar?"
"Like you said, drinking some alcohol, but that doesn't matter.", she said sniffling her nose.
"Do you have a cold?"
"No, why you ask?", she asked surprised, rubbing her nose.
I looked at her with widened eyes.
"What? What's wrong? Is some bugger hanging out of my nose?", she asked confused.
"N.. No.", I replied short.
"Than what's the matter?"
"Nothing, really."
"Okay, if you say so.", she said sniffling her nose again.
"I think I should go now."
"Seriously Jack, what's the matter?"
I looked at her and thought about whether to tell her or not.
"Hello? Earth to Jack?"
"Sorry.. I really should go.", I said and stood up from my chair, but she held my hand.
"Jack, tell me what's wrong. You suddenly changed your whole attidude.", she asked concerned.
I didn't respond.
"Oh, now I get it. You want to have some fun, am I right?", she said pulling out a small bag.
"Put that back.", I whispered to her.
"Just relax, it's nothing this bar hasn't seen."
"So, do you want to have some fun or not?", she asked me.
"Are you nuts? I never did drugs. I drink alcohol but that's it."
"You know what? I think you could use this.", she said shoving the small bag in my back poket.
I was shocked. How could she do that?
"You don't have to use it, just keep it in there in case you want to have some extra fun. Or just throw it in the trash.", she said with a smile leaving.

I stood there in shock. I couldn't really think straight, all I thought was to go back to my hotel room and so I did.
When I arrived I made sure that the door was locked. I checked it a second time, just to make sure nobody could come and disturb me.

I went to the bathroom and pulled out the small bag.
I looked at it and decided to throw it away.
'I'm not going to take drugs. I never did and never will.. so.. I might just throw this away.'
So I stood there, still holding the small bag over the toilett.
Something in me couldn't let go of it, but I had to.
'I'm not a druggie. No, I'm not going to sink that deep.'
Still standing over the toilett, holding the small bag in my hand.
'On the count to three.. One... two... three..'
The small bag was still in my hand.
'Damn it, Jack! Just throw it away!', I said to myself in my thoughts.
'You know.. I'm just keeping it in case no one of the band would belive me the story.', I justified my actions and went to bed.

The next evening I was nervous about the gig.
"Jack, is anything wrong?", Alex asked.
"No, everything's fine. Don't ask.. I'm just a little bit nervous that's all."
"Okay. I'm relieved.", he said adding a smile.

We were backstage, waiting for our time to go to the stage.
I was debating with myself about whether to take it or not.
'Just give it a try.', I thought to myself standing up from the couch.
"Where you going?", Rian asked me.
"To the bathroom."
"Ew, you're going to jerk off?"
"No, dumbass. I just have to go to the bathroom.", I said walking out of the backstage room.

So, now that this is done I can go back. I'm happy I didn't take it.
I went back to the guys.
"There he is. It took you five freaking minutes. Like wtf. Jack, did you really not masturbate?", Alex asked jokingly.
"No I didn't. What's wrong with you Alex? Are you really that horny? Do you need to jerk off thinking about how I am masturbating or what?"
"Damn, Jack. Just relax.", Alex said, rubbing his neck.
"I am relaxed, Alex. More than ever. So let's do this. I'm pumped."
"Okay. Let's do this. It's going to be a great night for everyone."
"Yes!", we all exclaimed, agreeing to what Alex said.

After the gig we went to the backstage room.
Everyone sat down, everyone except me. I couldn't stand still.
"Jack, what's wrong? Seriously.", Alex asked concerned.
"Nothing, like I said before. Let's go back to our tour bus. We have a five hour drive.", I said distracting them.
"Alright, let's go.", Zack said agreeing and so we went to our bus.

Everyone was in their bunks.
I heard Alex's foodstep coming up to my bunk.
"Knock, knock."
"Come in."
Alex opened the curtain of my bunk and looked me straight in the eyes:"Look Jack, I know something odd happened to you yesterday. I don't know what, but something happened."
"Nothing really. Now leave me alone."
"No, Jack. You're acting strange today. Really, really strange."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Are you taking drugs, Jack?"
I was baffled.
"Seriously, are you taking drugs, Jack?"
"No. I don't. Now leave me alone."
I saw the expression in Alexs face change. He looked disappointed in me.
He sighed and closed the curtain of my bunk.
'Great! Now I'm feeling gulty. Fuck! I didn't do anything wrong! I just didn't throw the small bag in the toilett that's all!', I debated with myself.

I stood up and went to Alex's bunk.
"What do you want?", he asked angry.
"Look, Alex.. I.. I have to tell you something. There was this girl last night.. She gave me a small bag and said I could use it to have some fun, or throw it in the trash.. But I couldn't throw it away.. I.. I just wanted to keep it, you know?"
Alex looked shocked at me.
"It's not like I took it or anything like that. I didn't. I don't do drugs. I'm not a druggie. I jsut thought it's somehow nice to have it. You know?"
"Throw it away.", he replied short.
"What?"
"Throw it away. I don't want you to carry such things."
"C'mon Alex, you're smoking pot sometimes."
"Yes I do, but I don't do it secretly and I never did other drugs."
"I didn't take it, Alex!"
"Yeah, really? Then why are you getting so angry about it?"
"Because you won't.."
"Don't you EVER dare to say 'Because you won't belive me'.. Ever."
I didn't say anything so I just stood up and went back to my bunk.

Notes

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