Blessed With A Curse
Two
“I don’t mean to push you, but it would help everyone a lot if you could tell him to stay here, that he is sick and that he needs help.”
“Why?”
“I talked with police officers who were at your house. The ones who arrested him and searched through the house. They all said that he became…like…obedient when you said him to go with them. He listens to you. He will do what you’ll say.”
“But why? Why me? Why does he listens…to me?”
“I’m not quite sure about that yet, but my theory would be that every great artist and also serial killer has their muse, the person they do everything for. I want to believe that you are that person for him.”
“He killed because he thought I’d like that or something?”
“No. I think the reason was, he felt insecure. Maybe there was something that threatened your relationship, maybe, you’ve said something that in his mind translated like he needs to do it. Maybe you didn’t like one of the victims, maybe you’ve had some fight and he wanted to help you with that and unfortunately killing is his answer to problems. Or maybe he was just bored. People like he gets easily bored and they need to feel excitement. Somehow killing is the thing they’re looking for, somehow it helps them.”
“I’ve said many bad things about Rian and Zack, but they’re still alive.”
“They are your bandmates?”
“Yes.”
“He needed them. For his success with this band he needed them, he used them.”
“Oh.”
She stood up from her chair and walked around her table, “I’m going to ask to bring him here so you could tell him what I asked and also talk about other things,” she walked out of her office leaving me alone.
What she’s saying is that Alex had been using everyone. He needed Rian and Zack, that mean he also used Danny, Matt, Vinny, everyone, because he needed them…he used all of them and to be fair, he was never too…friendly around them. He laughed if I laughed, he sat with them in the same room if I was there, but if I left he followed. He never left me alone when we were on tour and the same was when we were at home. Those few hours he let me to go over to Rian or Zack or to the store, he always called me or send me texts, he never left me alone. Except for those times when he disappeared. When he killed or kidnapped or tortured.
“Jack!” Alex’s voice ringed through my ears before I felt his arms tightly gripping me from the behind. I thought about him being my Alex, but his arms felt so much more tighter around my neck.
“Alex, you’re gonna choke me,” I warned, secretly hoping that that’s not his plan.
“Oh, sorry,” his grip immediately disappeared and he walked around to sit on my lap, “you look bad,” he said, fingers running through my hairs.
“Yeah, I don’t feel too good either.”
“Why? What happened? Did Rian say something? I know he can be annoying as fuck. Has someone be too nosey about this whole situation?”
These were all Alex’s normal questions, he always asked too much, always wanted to know everything that has happened while he hadn’t been around, but only now did I understand what it all meant. He wanted to know if he would have to deal with someone. Someone who had bothered me. He usually asked about Rian and Zack and I know that he had talked with them in not so friendly ways, they’d said me, but I never believed them because seriously, why would I? Alex would never talk like that to them!
“No, it has nothing to do with Rian. And of course people are being nosey, but that’s just normal in this situation, right?”
“Not if that’s bothering you.”
Oh, of course. It’s all about me.
“But, seriously Jack, what’s wrong? It’s not you,” he leaned closer, his lips brushing against mine.
“You know that you’re staying here right?” I talked against his lips, not leaning closer, just staying those few millimeters away.
“I know, they told me this morning,” he talked quietly, his breath ghosting over my lips, so close and so welcoming. It almost felt normal, like it always had been. It almost felt like we would be back home and it all would’ve been some horrifying nightmare, “but you know what you have to do, Jack. Just say that I can go and I will.”
“Stop with that. You can’t go.”
“Why,” he pressed his lips against mine, too quick and too light for my liking, but this wasn’t the right time nor the right place.
“Because you need help, Alex,” I pressed my lips against his, harder this time, but only to feel him pull away.
“What? I don’t need any help! I’m perfectly fine! Of course, if I have to choose between jail or this place I…I might actually choose jail! I mean, sex in the shower – what’s so bad about that, I can deal with that and with everything else too! You have no idea what I’m capable of!” he pushed himself off of my lap and stood in front of me.
“Alex, I’ve seen those photos, I know what you’re capable of,” I put my hands on his hips to pull him back.
“There were just fourteen, it’s not all,” he said casually, looking me in the eyes like he would be talking about shopping with his mom not about murders.
“What?”
“You really want to know?”
I nodded my head, even though I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
“These fourteen were the only ones who had been killed in the similar way, there’s eight more they don’t know about, but you can’t tell this to them. They will keep me here longer if they knew about those eight.”
Eight. Eight more dead people. Eight more people Alex had killed. Fourteen and eight. He had killed twenty two people and why? Because they were annoying to him, because they said something he didn’t like? Why?
“Why, Alex?”
“They deserved it,” he said, taking one of my hands in his and playing with my fingers, “how’s mom? Have you talked to her? She hasn’t been here.”
“What did they do to you to deserve death?”
“I asked you about my mom, Jack. I think she’s more important than eight more bodies for them to find. Or maybe they have found them, they just don’t know who did this,” he looked out of the window, small smile playing on his lips.
“What had happened to you? You weren’t like this.”
“I told you not to listen to them, Jacky. They’re all lying to you. I don’t know what they’d told you, but it’s not true. They want to keep me here and for that, they need you to believe them, because they know I’ll only listen to you.”
“But why?”
“Because I love you.”
“No, I mean, why did you kill them? Those eight people. And those other too.”
“I told you, they deserved this,” he sighed looking down at our hands, “I want to go home with you, Jack. Please, let me go home. I miss you.”
“Alex, you need help. I know it sounds cruel, but you’re sick and they can help you.”
“You believe them,” he muttered not looking at me, “you believed what they told you.”
“Why should they lie?”
“Why don’t you believe me? I love you, you love me. You should believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“You maybe didn’t lie to me about the fact that you really did kill those people but…Alex, you’re smart and you should understand that you need help and they can help you!”
“I’m not crazy! Just because I’m smarter than most of the human population doesn’t mean I’m crazy! They don’t understand me and now I’m gonna be their new laboratory rat. They’re going to do different tests on me to see how my brain function and they will send me to all those psychologists to talk to me and you think that that will help me! I’m not crazy and I don’t need any help, Jacky! They’re playing with your mind, they’ve wrapped you around their fingers!”
“Alex, you…you have many books in your room…”
“Yeah,” he smiled and the thought of his library.
“…and there’re books about psychology and I know you have read all of those books. You’re not stupid, you have to understand that you’re sick and you need help,” I took his other hand in mine and pulled him forwards, “Alex, please.”
“You really want me to stay here?” he looked at me with sad eyes.
“You have to,” I whispered.
“Okay,” he whispered, kneeling in front of me and putting his head in my lap, “I’m sorry Jack, really.”
“Why?”
“I talked with police officers who were at your house. The ones who arrested him and searched through the house. They all said that he became…like…obedient when you said him to go with them. He listens to you. He will do what you’ll say.”
“But why? Why me? Why does he listens…to me?”
“I’m not quite sure about that yet, but my theory would be that every great artist and also serial killer has their muse, the person they do everything for. I want to believe that you are that person for him.”
“He killed because he thought I’d like that or something?”
“No. I think the reason was, he felt insecure. Maybe there was something that threatened your relationship, maybe, you’ve said something that in his mind translated like he needs to do it. Maybe you didn’t like one of the victims, maybe you’ve had some fight and he wanted to help you with that and unfortunately killing is his answer to problems. Or maybe he was just bored. People like he gets easily bored and they need to feel excitement. Somehow killing is the thing they’re looking for, somehow it helps them.”
“I’ve said many bad things about Rian and Zack, but they’re still alive.”
“They are your bandmates?”
“Yes.”
“He needed them. For his success with this band he needed them, he used them.”
“Oh.”
She stood up from her chair and walked around her table, “I’m going to ask to bring him here so you could tell him what I asked and also talk about other things,” she walked out of her office leaving me alone.
What she’s saying is that Alex had been using everyone. He needed Rian and Zack, that mean he also used Danny, Matt, Vinny, everyone, because he needed them…he used all of them and to be fair, he was never too…friendly around them. He laughed if I laughed, he sat with them in the same room if I was there, but if I left he followed. He never left me alone when we were on tour and the same was when we were at home. Those few hours he let me to go over to Rian or Zack or to the store, he always called me or send me texts, he never left me alone. Except for those times when he disappeared. When he killed or kidnapped or tortured.
“Jack!” Alex’s voice ringed through my ears before I felt his arms tightly gripping me from the behind. I thought about him being my Alex, but his arms felt so much more tighter around my neck.
“Alex, you’re gonna choke me,” I warned, secretly hoping that that’s not his plan.
“Oh, sorry,” his grip immediately disappeared and he walked around to sit on my lap, “you look bad,” he said, fingers running through my hairs.
“Yeah, I don’t feel too good either.”
“Why? What happened? Did Rian say something? I know he can be annoying as fuck. Has someone be too nosey about this whole situation?”
These were all Alex’s normal questions, he always asked too much, always wanted to know everything that has happened while he hadn’t been around, but only now did I understand what it all meant. He wanted to know if he would have to deal with someone. Someone who had bothered me. He usually asked about Rian and Zack and I know that he had talked with them in not so friendly ways, they’d said me, but I never believed them because seriously, why would I? Alex would never talk like that to them!
“No, it has nothing to do with Rian. And of course people are being nosey, but that’s just normal in this situation, right?”
“Not if that’s bothering you.”
Oh, of course. It’s all about me.
“But, seriously Jack, what’s wrong? It’s not you,” he leaned closer, his lips brushing against mine.
“You know that you’re staying here right?” I talked against his lips, not leaning closer, just staying those few millimeters away.
“I know, they told me this morning,” he talked quietly, his breath ghosting over my lips, so close and so welcoming. It almost felt normal, like it always had been. It almost felt like we would be back home and it all would’ve been some horrifying nightmare, “but you know what you have to do, Jack. Just say that I can go and I will.”
“Stop with that. You can’t go.”
“Why,” he pressed his lips against mine, too quick and too light for my liking, but this wasn’t the right time nor the right place.
“Because you need help, Alex,” I pressed my lips against his, harder this time, but only to feel him pull away.
“What? I don’t need any help! I’m perfectly fine! Of course, if I have to choose between jail or this place I…I might actually choose jail! I mean, sex in the shower – what’s so bad about that, I can deal with that and with everything else too! You have no idea what I’m capable of!” he pushed himself off of my lap and stood in front of me.
“Alex, I’ve seen those photos, I know what you’re capable of,” I put my hands on his hips to pull him back.
“There were just fourteen, it’s not all,” he said casually, looking me in the eyes like he would be talking about shopping with his mom not about murders.
“What?”
“You really want to know?”
I nodded my head, even though I wasn’t sure I really wanted to know.
“These fourteen were the only ones who had been killed in the similar way, there’s eight more they don’t know about, but you can’t tell this to them. They will keep me here longer if they knew about those eight.”
Eight. Eight more dead people. Eight more people Alex had killed. Fourteen and eight. He had killed twenty two people and why? Because they were annoying to him, because they said something he didn’t like? Why?
“Why, Alex?”
“They deserved it,” he said, taking one of my hands in his and playing with my fingers, “how’s mom? Have you talked to her? She hasn’t been here.”
“What did they do to you to deserve death?”
“I asked you about my mom, Jack. I think she’s more important than eight more bodies for them to find. Or maybe they have found them, they just don’t know who did this,” he looked out of the window, small smile playing on his lips.
“What had happened to you? You weren’t like this.”
“I told you not to listen to them, Jacky. They’re all lying to you. I don’t know what they’d told you, but it’s not true. They want to keep me here and for that, they need you to believe them, because they know I’ll only listen to you.”
“But why?”
“Because I love you.”
“No, I mean, why did you kill them? Those eight people. And those other too.”
“I told you, they deserved this,” he sighed looking down at our hands, “I want to go home with you, Jack. Please, let me go home. I miss you.”
“Alex, you need help. I know it sounds cruel, but you’re sick and they can help you.”
“You believe them,” he muttered not looking at me, “you believed what they told you.”
“Why should they lie?”
“Why don’t you believe me? I love you, you love me. You should believe me. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“You maybe didn’t lie to me about the fact that you really did kill those people but…Alex, you’re smart and you should understand that you need help and they can help you!”
“I’m not crazy! Just because I’m smarter than most of the human population doesn’t mean I’m crazy! They don’t understand me and now I’m gonna be their new laboratory rat. They’re going to do different tests on me to see how my brain function and they will send me to all those psychologists to talk to me and you think that that will help me! I’m not crazy and I don’t need any help, Jacky! They’re playing with your mind, they’ve wrapped you around their fingers!”
“Alex, you…you have many books in your room…”
“Yeah,” he smiled and the thought of his library.
“…and there’re books about psychology and I know you have read all of those books. You’re not stupid, you have to understand that you’re sick and you need help,” I took his other hand in mine and pulled him forwards, “Alex, please.”
“You really want me to stay here?” he looked at me with sad eyes.
“You have to,” I whispered.
“Okay,” he whispered, kneeling in front of me and putting his head in my lap, “I’m sorry Jack, really.”
Notes
The next part will be up today...later.... ;D
What the actual Fuck.. This was undeniably good. It had me begging for more and leaving me speechless. Such a good writer man... I don't even know what to say.
4/18/15