The thing is I never noticed that there’s something wrong with Alex. He liked to disappear but it’s normal, right? Who doesn’t want to have some time on their own? Apparently Alex took everything he possibly could of that time. He has always been smarter than others, never had any problems at high school, never had any problems with learning something new. It wasn’t actually learning – he just read something or did one or maximum two times and he was perfect at it! He never had problems with manipulating with teachers when he was late, wasn’t listening to lesson or didn’t appear at all. He always got away with it, most of the time helping me too so I wasn’t complaining about those skills.

He had problems with sleep, always had and he’d been using sleeping pills since he was sixteen, but it never bothered me. Everyone has their flaws. So Alex had problems with sleeping, so what? Sometimes he didn’t get normal sleep for two or three nights straight. He’d be sitting up all night in his personal room, which he liked to call library and for a good reason – it was full with books. I never bothered to ask him, what he’d been doing there and thinking about it now, I wish I would’ve.

I should’ve known it was too good to be true. Everything was too good. Our relationship was too good. Too perfect. Even back in high school we were perfect couple. The couple everyone wanted to be like. Everyone wanted to have this sweet thing we had. Sometimes he was too clingy and most of the time I didn’t complain, but when I did say it is too much he always backed down. He never did what I didn’t want to do, what I didn’t accept him to do and I should’ve known that that wasn’t normal. Rian sometimes laughed that he’s like a perfectly trained dog with me, that he’s always doing what I want, but, oh, how wrong he was. How wrong everyone was when it came to Alexander William Gaskarth.

---

“Jack! Jay, you can’t actually believe them! It’s not me! I haven’t done anything, you know that!” Alex pleaded, head turned in an awkward angle to see me from where two police officers had pinned him down on the floor, holding his hands behind his back, one of them practically sitting on his back to hold him still.

I slowly turned my gaze away from the sickening photographs and looked at Alex. He looked like my Alex. My sweet Alex who loved dogs so much, who loved his family and his fans. He couldn’t actually do this, this just wasn’t Alex. With eyes like his…those eyes are not eyes who could belong to someone…someone who could do these things in the photographs.

“We found this in one of the books up there,” another officer walked in the living room, holding up the picture. I lowered my gaze to the floor. I don’t want to see any more photographs. I think I’ll have enough for the rest of my life.

The officer sitting next to me reached out his hand to take the picture. They were five; two of them held Alex, two were looking through the house and one was showing me all those horrible pictures.

“Yeah, that’s one of the victims. Shelly… I think. Put that along with the rest of the evidence,” he gave the picture back and turned his attention back to me.

“So you were saying that there has been nothing you would put as out of the line. Everything seemed normal?”

“Yes, I already told you everything,” I mumbled, looking over at Alex, who seemed stopped struggling.

“Mr. Barakat, I understand that it might be hard on you and you know him for a long time and it must be even harder if there’s some feelings involved, but you need to tell us everything that might seem different. Some things that might seem to be normal for you, but if others found out about that they would consider that to be weird.”

“No…no, nothing. I told you everything.”

“Mr. Barakat…”

“There’s nothing wrong with him! Yes, he might be too attached to me! Yes, he have problems sleeping and he spends those nights in his library and sometimes he likes to be on his own for some time, but that’s nothing too weird!”

Loud sigh left Alex’s mouth and he closed his eyes. Something of what Jack said seemed to have caught his attention just as police officers.

“What do you mean – he likes to be on his own?”

“Oh…” I looked back at Alex, who had his eyes glued to me, “he…he…it’s nothing…I…”

Officer’s eyes followed mine and landed on Alex, “bring him out of the room,” he motioned his hand for the two officers, who stood up and pulled Alex with them.

“You can’t trust him, Jack! He’s lying! They all are lying to you!” he yelled as two police officers pulled him in the kitchen.

“Now it might be easier for you to talk. I know he have a big impact on you, it’s obvious.”

I should tell him, it might help Alex if he actually hadn’t done this, but then again…these pictures and what they said about this one guy who had somehow appeared at police station, talking about some crazy guy, who had beat him up, practically cut his arm open, sliced his cheek and threatened to do the same to his stomach…it didn’t sound like Alex, but this guy…his description was dangerously close to Alex...

“He sometimes disappeared, didn’t answer when I called him. I never paid too much attention to it, he’d always done that and I respect that. He needs to clear his mind and…”

“His disappearances how long time did it take him – hours, days?”

“Just few hours. Three to maybe six, seven hours. It has never been a day or even more.”

“Mhm,” he wrote something in his little black notebook, “and you said he never answered your calls, when you called him,” still writing in his notebook, not even looking at me.

“Mhm…”

Heavy steps on the stairs and both officers, who’d been searching through the house came in the living room, “there’s nothing more, besides this photograph and those few books, but everyone can have a book so…”

“What kind of books?” officer looked away from his notes.

“About psychology, anthropology, anatomy…”

“Something about Alcatraz and world’s greatest criminals…”

“We can’t sue anyone by owning books, but we’re taking him with us. We’ll ask him some more questions and maybe this guy will remember him, if it really was him,” he turned back to me, “thank you Mr. Barakat for your help. I understand that it’s hard for you, but thank you.”

I nodded my head in response. I don’t want to say anything to him. He thinks that my Alex did this. He can’t. So he had this picture of some girl and what? He have some books, but he likes to learn, he likes to find out new stuff, that’s just Alex. That’s the way he is!

I looked at the photos, scattered on the table. They made me feel sick, but there were something in them that pulled me in. Maybe that was the thought that Alex did that. Well, they think that Alex did that, but just looking down at the photos and thinking about Alex, about how he is…he couldn’t do that. He’s too sweet, too caring, he couldn’t be so cold blooded.

There were fourteen photos. Fourteen different photos, but in every photo there were the same scene replaying over and over again. Fourteen naked bodies, tied to some wall or something, hands over their heads and heads hung down with little stream of blood running down the side of their mouths. Their hands were bloody because of several cuts, made on their arms. Their chests were bloody because of little cuts [they didn’t seem even. In some of the pictures it seemed to be more cuts than others, but I didn’t want to look closer], then there were vertical cut from the throat down the middle of ribs and then deep cut that opened stomach. The floor was covered in bloods, some organs had been placed carefully on the floor, at the feet of each victim.

I noticed a movement with the corner of my eye, two policemen practically pushing Alex out of the kitchen.

“Can I talk to him for a minute?” I asked shyly.

“Yeah, but not too long,” he waved his hand for the two men and they released Alex’s hands, letting him to walk to me. He threw his arms around my neck and whispered me in the ear, “Don’t let them do this to me, Jack.”

“Alex, please don’t lie to me, okay?” I pulled back and looked him in the eyes.

“I would never do that,” he still whispered.

“Did you do that?”

He opened his mouth, but closed it, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I can’t say that with them in the room,” he whispered.

“So you did,” I felt disappointed to be fair. I wanted to believe that he would never be capable of such a thing.

“Please, don’t let them do this to me,” he clung to me harder, his fingers clutching my shoulders painfully.

“They will just ask you some questions.”

“They never ask just questions. They ask everything they need to know here, and there they don’t ask that much questions, that’s just closest to prison, Jack. There will be psychologists who will listen to every word I say. They will arrest me! They will break us apart! Think about my family, think about fans!”

“Alex, if you really did that, you needed to think about that then, when you hold that…sorry…”

“Jack, please…” tear rolled down his cheek.

“It’s not like I could stop them anyway…”

“You have to let me go and I will.”

“Alex, you…”

“Just say that I can, that I don’t have to go with them and I will.”

“Alex, you can’t. They will get you.”

“No, they won’t. You just don’t see that. It’s so damn easy to get past them. Just say that I can go and I will.”

“Alex, you…”

“Okay, time’s up!”

The same two men grabbed his arms, put handcuffs around his wrists and pulled him away from me.

“Jack, please,” another tear rolled down his cheek.

“Just go with them, Alex,” I said quietly and for a moment I thought he didn’t hear, but then he lowered his head and obediently followed police officers and let them push him in the car. He heard me.

---

A week. One week I had been alone in this house. News on the television and internet are overflown with the fact that police have finally caught this serial killer. They’ve been looking for him for almost six years and they finally got him so, of course, it was top thing on the news.

When they gave away his name and pictures appeared on internet and television, ATL side of twitter just exploded. Probably the same happened to Tumblr. Everyone was shocked and I couldn’t blame them. To be fair, I still didn’t quite get it. The fact that Alex would be capable of murder and not just one, but fourteen…it wasn’t something you could just accept, but everything was against Alex.

That guy, who had somehow managed to escape, had said that it is Alex and he had already done too much to that guy. His arm was cut just like all of these fourteen victims, he had several cuts on his chest and it was enough to put it all together and arrest Alex, although they still thought that something is not like it should be.

Alex still hadn’t admitted his guilt and hasn’t spoken to anyone besides me those few times when they let me in. And this Alex…he isn’t acting like he should be when he’s arrested. He’s completely calm, no fear, no stress and he just keeps repeating what he said a week ago – Just say that I can go and I will. I really don’t want to admit it, but it doesn’t sound normal and he doesn’t act like he should act in this situation.

I parked my car in front of the house and looked at two other cars waiting for me. Usually I would be happy to get back home, knowing that Alex is waiting for me, despite the fact that he had annoyed the shit out of me with his non-stop calling and asking where I am, with who and when I’ll be back, but I was happy, because he cared about me, like no one ever had.

I stepped out of the car and made my short walk to the front door, pushing them open I already saw Rian sitting on the couch and waiting. The moment I closed the doors, his head turned around and he sighed in relieve.

“What? You thought that he’s going to kill me?” I asked, pulling my shoes off.

“No, it just took you more time than we thought.”

I walked in the living room and sat down on the couch next to Rian.

“Where’s Zack? His car is outside.”

“He went to the bathroom.”

“Mmm…” I looked at the TV to see what Rian was watching. Some old movie from, maybe, 80’s where playing.

“I found it in your DVDs.”

“It’s not mine. It’s Alex’s, he liked it for some weird reason.”

“Oh, that would explain why I don’t get this movie.”

“Stop it, okay? He’s not crazy and he didn’t do it!” I defended him, even though in the back of my mind I knew that he did.

“Don’t you see it Jack. Everything is against him and the fact that he’s not himself in there…”

“Who would? Would you act like yourself if everyone would think you are a serial killer?”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant that…”

“Okay, I think that it would be better for everyone if you two would just shut up,” Zack walked back in the room and sat between me and Rian, “how’s he? What did he say?”

I glared at Rian before turning my gaze to Zack, “Not much. He doesn’t talk about those murders, because he thinks they’re listening and they’re just waiting for him to say it, but…they won’t send him to prison,” I paused looking at Rian.

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?” he asked unsure.

“They had ordered him to go under psychiatric evaluation. They think he might be insane,” I muttered quietly.

They both looked at me with wide eyes and opened mouths.

“Wow…well…wow” Rian, tried to say something, but failed.

“At least it’s not prison,” Zack said.

“Yeah. I don’t even know what’s worse. I mean, if they say that he is crazy, they will keep him there and stuff with pills. If they say he’s completely normal, they’ll send him to prison.”

“And what did he say about that?” Rian seemed to be found some words to say.

“The same.”

They both looked at me with puzzled looks, “What do you mean – the same?”

“That I just have to say that he can go and he will.”

“If he will say that in that psych ward, they will definitely keep him there.”

“Rian, please, stop it! You know him, you think he would actually do that?”

“To be fair – I don’t know,” he looked at the TV, “he had always been weird and remember that I once told you how he acted around Zack when you weren’t there. Like he wouldn’t be a person, like Alex would be better than Zack, and actually like everyone else. I just always thought that he’s extremely arrogant, but if even police is thinking that there might be something wrong with him…” he paused, not sure if he should continue, “And with you…he’s completely different person. When I said, he’s like a dog I mean it. He follows you everywhere, he does everything you want and now when you said that he said that…you just need to let him go and he will, or something…that’s just…I don’t know…”

“Seriously Jack, no offense, but haven’t you noticed how much he controls you? Every time when he’s not with you, he’s all the time calling you, like, every ten minutes he would be calling. And when he is with you, he’s always looking at you,” Zack said, lost deep in his thoughts, “and I mean, not just looking, but staring. Seriously.”

---

A month after police took him away, they finally had a diagnosis for him. I was scared when his psychologist [or therapist? I’m not sure how I should call her] called me and asked if I could come. I was there in less than an hour, thanks to early hour and this hospitals close being.

When they said he’s staying there I was kind of relieved. It sounds bad, but to me, it sounds better than prison, but now there were only one thought in my head. If they say that Alex will stay in this hospital, or call whatever you want it, that means he’s crazy enough to be locked up there not prison and that was the scariest part.

I didn’t understand half of the things she told me, mostly using psychological term, but the thing I did get was that Alex is a crazy guy with impressively high IQ.

“So…what did she say? You met Alex?” Rian asked, sipping his Starbucks coffee, feet resting on my coffee table.

“I...Yes, I met him…He asked about you…and Zack…”

“Really, what?”

“Why you haven’t visited him. He seemed sad about that.”

“Of course he did,” Rian snorted, “but what did this psychologist say?”

“He’s crazy enough to stay there.”

Rian choked on his coffee, his eyes growing twice the size, “I didn’t exactly wait for that,” he coughed, “I mean, he was a little bit crazy, but to hear that from professional,” he put his cup down and turned to look at me, “what does he have? She said that, right?”

“Yeah, kind of, but it sounded so difficult. All those long names for these…disorders.”

“He have more than one?” his surprise and shock was evident in his voice, “if so then it is clear why they’re keeping him there.”

“She said that it’s normal. If someone has at least one of these disorders then almost always there’s also something else, they come together, following each other.”

“Okay, so what does he have?”

“They’ve done multiple tests and…he has incredibly high IQ, around 205 or something.”

“Holly shit! That’s like Einstein! Actually that would explain a lot.”

“Mhm…and he’s…he’s psychopath…and she said something about personality disorders. This part I actually didn’t get that much. She mentioned something about paranoid personality disorder and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder. Maybe these are like subcategories or something.”

“Aren’t the psychopaths the ones who manipulate, are cruel to everyone and always get what they want?”

“Yeah, kind of. They lie, mostly have high IQ, doesn’t care about other people opinions, that’s why they usually are successful in whatever they’re doing. They manipulate with people, say what they want to hear, they cheat, they’re aggressive…if they’re in relationship they tend to be overly protective,” the last part came out as a whisper.

Rian looked at me, clearly trying to hide pity in his eyes, but it still was there. I could see it.

“They tend to lie so much, that usually they start to believe their own lies,” tears started to build up in my eyes, “she said that probably that’s the reason why he denies these murders. He’s been lying too long to everyone and himself and now he believes that. He believes that he has nothing to do with that,” tears started to run down my cheeks.

“Are you sure about that? If he really is psychopath then he might still be lying and with IQ like his. He still might be playing with everyone,” Rian pulled me in to the hug, soothing hand rubbing my back, “Damn, why is he still there? It might be so easy for him to escape if he wanted, right? If he have so great mind, he could just…walk out of there.”

“She said that psy…people like he are easily bored, probably that’s one of the reasons he killed all those people,” I sniffled.

“Because he was bored? That’s perfect reason to kill.”

“They don’t feel guilty about what they’ve done. Rian, he doesn’t feel guilty about causing this,” I pulled back and looked at him.

Notes

I have no idea what's going on in my head. Seriously, it's dangerous for me to stay alone with my mind, this thing is not normal ;D

aanndd, this is kind of a one-shot, but it turned out longer than I expected so it's going to be two or three more parts. enjoy ^^

ohh, and sorry for mistakes, I didn't reread it soo, there might be...