Jack POV

“Alright, whatever,” I spoke flatly.

I sounded unlike me and I felt suddenly unlike me too…Disconnectedto myself.

No one spoke or made a sound, or maybe they did but it was just drowned out by the deafening noise of my irregular, fragile heart beat echoing in my ears.Love, love, look what you’ve done to my heart.

Alex made no attempt to say anything more; he had already said all he wanted to on the matter. But I hadn’t.

I forced myself to keep my empty eyes fixated on Alex’s as I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before speaking again.

“I’m done with this,” I told him in a low voice, because this was just between me and him now.

I could tell Lisa more of the truth if I wanted to, but Alex would only deny whatever I accused him of. And this was for Alex’s ears only… I wanted to fucking hurt him with my words as much as he always hurts me.

“I’m done with you treating me like shit... Done with being your personal drug to use whenever you feel like fucking with my head… And I mean this, I’m done with you and your fucking lies,” I revealed abruptly.

This time it’s over. I don't want him as long as he's withher.

I abruptly turned on my heel and walked away from Alex and the others without another second of hesitation.

POV: Alex



Now you desert me...

As I watched him walk away without so much as a glance over his shoulder, a brutal realisation hit me; I had just taken for granted everything that I would have died for just yesterday... And now he was leaving, taking my heart with him. How long must it be until you come and run back to me?

My sense of surroundings suddenly came back to me and I realised that I was staring motionlessly after Jack as he walked off into the distance, leaving me standing there alone with three pairs of intense eyes burning into me.

I ignored Chris and Steve and quickly turned back to face Lisa. She was still stood in the bus doorway, now staring at me with narrowed eyes swimming with both curiosity and hurt.

I sighed and took a few steps towards her, but she only backed away, shaking her head sadly.

“Lisa…” I spoke in an apologetic tone of voice.

She just continued shaking her head and tore her eyes away from mine, turning her back on me and walking away, mirroring what Jack just did. Feeling rejected as she disappeared onto the bus, I instinctively hurried after her.

“Lisa, please!” I called out urgently, stepping onto the confined space of the bus.

My eyes fell on her sat on the sofa with her head resting on her hand idly. She didn’t look at me as I took a few uncertain steps towards her and slowly lowered myself down on the seat next to her.

“Look, what Jack said back then...”

“What the fuck is going on with you and Jack?” She asked abruptly, cutting me off mid-sentence.

I blinked at her expressionlessly, shutting my half-open mouth at the interruption. Then I exhaled loudly and half-shrugged.

“Nothing,” I lied flatly.

She looked unconvinced, narrowing her eyes at me suspiciously.

...Am I that easy to see through?

“Yeah, right. Why don’t you tell me the truth?” She demanded sharply.

Because I know the truth will only cause more pain. And I’ve already hurt Jack… I don’t want to hurt you too, if it can be avoided.

“I am,” I insisted, lying rather convincingly, but still, she continued to examine my poker face with pursed lips.

“So, why did he say you told him you loved him?” She asked, swallowing hard.

I could so easily turn her world upside down right now by telling her exactly how I feel about Jack… But I didn't have the heart to do that to her.

“You know how wasted he was last night! I don't know... I guess he had a dream or something and he thought it was real,” I came up with a believable excuse. "But I don't love him. I loveyou."

She remained uncomfortably quiet for a moment. Then, she sighed heavily, rubbing her temple in clear distress.

“How do I know I can trust you?”

Because Jack just told me that me and him are over, and as long as he doesn’t want me, I’m all yours, baby...

“I’ll prove it to you tonight,” I answered vaguely after a moment’s hesitation in which I was lost in my thoughts.

I decided in that moment that tonight would be the night that Jack and I would officially have closure. It was finally time to kick my bad habits and move on with my life once and for all.

***

POV: Jack



As soon as the lights went down, the crowd started going wild. Like they always do. The sound of thousands of people screaming for us is usually what gets me so pumped for the show... But tonight it completely failed to. For once, I just wanted to be anywhere but stood onstage. Anywhere else, where I could just hide in solitude.

I started playing ‘Poppin’ automatically, even though my mind was elsewhere, wandering into the haunting thoughts and memories of last night and earlier today. The screaming crowd and the heavy music weren’t even loud enough to block out the resounding words of Alex that shattered my heart only a few hours ago:‘I don’t fucking love you.’

I felt like screaming… But I felt like never making a sound again, at the same time.

I felt like throwing my guitar on the ground and storming off stage… But then, I felt like I should make the most of the last night of the tour.

And worst of all, I felt like punching Alex… But I felt like kissing him too.

Ultimately, I felt emptiness.

I did my best to ignore Alex strutting around the stage with a smirk on his face like he fucking owned it, but it proved impossible. I wanted to wipe that sneer right off of his face, because I knew he was only wearing it to torture me.You take me up; you bring me down, without a touch, without a sound.

I hadn’t seen Alex since our argument earlier. I was genuinely hoping that what I had said to him had actually had some kind of impact, and maybe,just maybe,made him realise that he had made a big mistake in pushing me away. But he never came after me... So, I guess he never really cared about me at all.I should have known from the start that you’d go and tear it apart.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Lisa standing on the side of the stage. My hands started trembling in frustration as they played guitar at the sight of her. She'd ruined everything. My chances with Alex... My friendship with him right now... My fucking life.

Alex may believe she’s completely innocent, but she doesn’t fool me; I still think she’s up to something. But I guess I’ll just have to learn to keep my Goddamn mouth shut from now on, because Alex refuses to believe me. Even though I've been his best friend for six years, and he's been dating Lisa for a few days.

I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the whole set without having a break down. It was taking all my self-control not to throw my guitar off of me and smash it to pieces. The emotion needed to escape somehow.Can’t you see I’ve got no release from the pain?There's only so much pain that a person can keep bottled up inside.

Before I knew it, we were onto our fifth song of the night. I didn’t even know what songs we had played; that’s how disconnected I was to the band. But suddenly, as my hands started playing the chords to the next song, a loose wire connected somewhere in my brain and my heart tied itself in a knot when I realised we were on the song I didn’t want to have to hear Alex sing...
‘Too Much.'

I decided to try to block out what Alex was singing because it felt too similar to our situation, but the words hit me with such an impact that I was losing the will to keep playing. And then, making things unbearably worse, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Alex taking cautious steps towards my side of the stage for the first time all evening.

I kept my eyes fixed on the ground but I could feel his heated gaze on me, burning me. My ears struggled to block out the lyrics that were now slithering out of his mouth like the deadliest of venoms: “Too much love can be too much,”

Suddenly, I felt my eyes start to sting, warning me that my emotion was about to let rip. Swallowing the rising lump in my throat, I turned my back to Alex and the audience, and took a few heavy footsteps to the back of the stage.

I pretended my guitar was out of tune and took it off quickly, handing it over to Matt. He looked a little confused, cocking an eyebrow at me, but exchanged it for another guitar anyway. I felt like rejecting the new guitar and just walking offstage there and then. But I couldn’t do that to the fans or the guys.

Well, except Alex. I could do it to him.

Matt mouthed at me “are you okay?” and I somehow managed to get myself together and nod at him. It was a lie, but I’m starting to blur the lines between truth and lie… I don’t know the difference anymore.

In that brief amount of time I regained composure and was able to carry on with the masquerade that was the whole show. But I pretty much zoned out for the rest of the concert, only snapping out of it when it came to my favourite song: ‘Coffee Shop Soundtrack’.

I managed to finally get into the music, head-banging and just rocking out like I would usually do. Adrenaline surged through my veins, making me feel alive for the first time all night.

I felt Alex’s eyes on my face once again, but I kept my eyes on the crowd. He was probably wondering where the fuck this sudden energy in me had come from. And honestly, I didn’t know.

As the song built up, gradually reaching its climax, I knew my favourite part was coming up. But I also knew I would not be able to get the words ‘(I can keep a secret if you can keep me guessing)’ past my lips again today without choking on them... If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, it is 'trust no one, because the ones you trust will only stab you in the back.'

“To pull ourselves away from the lives we leave back,” Alex sang discordantly.

You don’t know the fucking meaning of ‘truth’…

“Every secret is a lie to me,” I spoke flatly into the microphone, shooting a glare in Alex’s direction. I found him staring straight back at me, his facial features contorted by the frown he wore. For a moment he stopped playing his guitar.

Immediately, I broke away from the contact we held and turned back to the crowd, and then I pushed the mic stand off the stage childishly.

The final show of the Tour eventually finished with ‘Dear Maria’. I let out a small sigh of relief that it was over as I made my way offstage, followed by the rest of the guys. But I couldn't help but silently wonder,'What now? …Where do we go from here?’

Notes

you guys are so sweet! thank you for all the happy comments! Also i have one little thing to ask you... can you please rate this story? like with the little stars that are on the side? pleeease!! thank you!

Song lyrics credit: Def Leppard