Jack POV

Suddenly, an all-too-familiar voice drifted into my mind, snapping me out of my thoughts of saving Alex from Lisa’s trap.

“Jack?”

I jerked in surprise and span around on the spot, losing my balance on the step I was stood on and falling backwards, inevitably resulting in my ass coming into contact with the hard ground.

“Oh, shit,” I cursed in annoyance.

I looked up to see Chris and Steve towering over me with questioning, yet slightly amused, looks painted on their faces. I felt my cheeks getting hotter with embarrassment.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Steve asked plainly, half-smirking, half-frowning.

I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then.

“I, uh… came to find Alex…” I mumbled shamefully, wondering exactly how long they had been stood behind me.

“Well, you do know you can just go in, yeah? You don’t have to stand out here with your ear pressed up against the door,” Chris smirked, shaking his head in amusement.

Apparently, they’ve been here a while…

I half-shrugged, at a loss for how else to respond.

Chris walked past me as I lay on the floor, reaching out for the tour bus door and pulling it wide open.

“Hey, Alex, Jack is here!” he announced my arrival loudly.

Yeah, thanks, Chris…

I felt unexpected anxiety at the thought of seeing Alex, because I knew I needed to tell him something I knew he wouldn’t want to hear from me… But I knew no one else would tell him the truth. I was his only hope.

Before I could dwell on my increasing worry for too long, he appeared in the doorway and my thoughts froze temporarily. My body, however, sprang to life, and I scrabbled to my feet quickly, having just realised I was still sprawled on the ground.

I followed Alex's eyes as they swept over Chris standing next to the steps onto the tour bus, and then Steve, who was stood a couple of metres away from me. He seemed hesitant to acknowledge my presence and didn’t speak for several seconds. But eventually, he gave in and his questioning eyes connected with mine.

“What are you doing here?” He asked a little sharply.

Well, hello to you too. Jerkface.

“I need to talk to you,” I stated quickly in a voice that sounded more urgent than I had intended it to.

As I stood there, I was very aware of the three pairs of eyes all focused on me, waiting for me to explain myself. I remained silent.

“What about?” Alex asked hesitantly, narrowing his eyes at me.

There was a distinct hint of apprehension in his voice. I could tell he had an idea of what I wanted to talk about really… And he was scared.

All of a sudden, Lisa seemed to materialize at his side from nowhere. If I had blinked, I would have missed it. But I glared transfixed and felt the anger pulse through my veins at just the sight of her. She returned the stare uncertainly, before breaking the contact to exchange a questioning glance with Alex.

I quickly forced myself to tear my eyes away from her and scowl at the ground instead, keeping my cool.

“Last night,” I replied predictably, focusing on my feet awkwardly.

There was no immediate reply from Alex and none of the others seemed to want to contribute to what was obviously meant to be a private conversation. I noticed Steve shuffle on the spot uncomfortably to my right. I felt the familiar tension in the atmosphere and sighed hopelessly.

After a few extensive seconds had passed in awkward silence, I forced myself to raise my gaze to see the expression on Alex’s face. Overall, it was very controlled. If he was feeling panicked or worried, he hid it amazingly well; he looked expressionless.

“You mean when you got completely fucking off your face on alcohol?” He questioned coldly.It's the worst thing I could do. His voice was certainly not as emotionless as he tried to make himself seem; I sensed the anger and disappointment in there.

I half-opened my mouth to make a witty response, but quickly decided against it. He didn’t seem in the mood right now.

“Yeah, let’s not get into that, unless you want me to get angry,” he continued in a dismissive tone.

I felt like saying, “Let’s not get into what? The mess you got yourself into last night by declaring your love for me when you are meant to be with Lisa? …Or your bed when you snaked your arms around me like I was your fucking property to hold so possessively? OH NO WAIT, it’s too late to go back in time and not get into those things… So fuck it, I’m gonna go into the events of last night whether you like it or not.” But I bit my tongue because I didn’t want Alex to murder me.

“No, I mean what happened with us,” I retorted defiantly, and this time a saw a quick flash of panic in Alex’s vacant eyes.Your poker face concealing all the cards that you're not dealing...

Typically, everyone else seemed too busy frowning at me and wondering what the fuck I was talking about to notice.

Alex was quick to regain casualness and disguise the fear I knew was crawling within his veins.You're holding something in tonight and I can tell you're not alright.

“Forget about that,” he snapped abruptly. “I think you owe Lisa a ‘thank you’ for last night.”

He’s always been rather gifted in changing the subject smoothly if he doesn’t want to talk about something… It pisses me off when he avoids certain topics, because it’s so obvious he’s hiding something.I could see through you like glass. Who does he think he's kidding?

Hang on... He wants me tothank Lisa? What a fucking joke. There's absolutely no way I'm going to thank her knowing what she is doing to Alex right under his nose.

I glowered at him intently, refusing to focus on Lisa, because I knew one look at her would contort my facial features to anger.

“No. She doesn’t deserve it,” I stated coldly.

Doesn’t deserveyou…

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lisa recoil slightly upon hearing my blunt statement.

Alex's instant reaction was shock at my abrupt rudeness, but it rapidly turned to anger.

“What the fuck? She picked you up off the floor last night and fucking helped you out when you needed it, Jack. Of course she deserves it,” he argued in disbelief and confusion. “What is yourproblem?”

SHE is my problem.

“She’s a liar,” I declared, rolling my eyes. I have no fucking time for liars anymore.

The confidence in my voice was so powerful that Alex momentarily seemed so taken aback he was lost for words.

“Is it me or is this conversation getting a little heated?” Chris muttered in the background.

I had actually forgotten him and Steve were even there. I chose to continue ignoring their presence and keep staring at Alex as his eyes darted sideways to glance at Lisa’s shocked face instinctively.

She suddenly seemed to find her voice in a moment of desperation.

“What are you talking about, Jack?” She interjected quickly, sounding both confused and alarmed by my accusation.

My vacant eyes reluctantly moved to connect with her widened ones. I wasn’t fooled by her fake innocence.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” I spat venomously.

All of a sudden, Steve appeared at my side and put a hand on my shoulder firmly, like he was getting ready to restrain me if he had to. I felt like telling him to fuck off; Ican control myself. I’m notAlex.

“Dude, you need to chill out,” he said, concerned.

I chose to ignore him too, jerking away from his hold on me and moving forward, towards Alex and Lisa in the tour bus doorway.

“This pregnancy is nothing but a lie,” I announced boldly, looking up at Lisa in disdain. "Is it?"

Her mouth fell open and she stared back at me in disbelief, recoiling slightly, alarmed by the anger in my voice.

Alex finally tore his eyes away from examining his girlfriend’s shocked face and turned back to me.

“Wha- How do you... What the fuck?” He stammered dramatically. He seemed to be getting increasingly frustrated with the confusing conversation.Across your face, it's so legible.

“I mean it, Alex. I really don’t think she’s pregnant at all,” I spoke urgently, replaying Lisa’s words from last night in my mind.

All of a sudden, Alex’s confusion seemed to vanish and his expression hardened immediately.

“You don’t know what you’re fucking talking about, Jack. This pregnancy isdefinitely real. And how the fuck you found out about it, I don’t know… But seeing as you do know, learn to fucking deal with it,” he snapped angrily, putting his arm around Lisa’s shoulder in a defensive way.

I was trying my best to ignore her presence, but this made me notice how tense she looked, glancing between Alex and I nervously. She wasn’t exactly protesting her innocence very well.

“Well, do you have any proof that you’re the father?” I suggested desperately.

I knew I was just adding wood to the burning fire of rage inside of him, but I needed him to think about this rationally… Totrust me. I was so convinced by my own theory.

“Do you have any proof that I’m not?” He retorted short-temperedly, screwing his face up in confusion again. “I mean, what the fuck is driving you to make all these ridiculous accusations?”

My distorted memory of last night and gut instinct… Okay, maybe I didn't think this all the way through.

“It’s just, uh… Well, last night Lisa was talking about lying about something big and life-changing to keep the person you love… And I don’t fucking trust her, Alex,” I blurted out quickly, pausing to shoot a glare in Lisa’s direction. “Think about it… She loves you, this whole ‘pregnancy’ is big and life-changing-”

“That doesn’t automatically make it a fucking lie, Jack!” Alex exclaimed incredulously, interrupting my theory impatiently. “You wanna know what I think? I think you were too fuckingwasted last night to know what anyone said to you, and now you’refucked up imagination is running wild and you’re talking shit,” he ranted crossly.

His words stung me. I knew what he was trying to do; he was trying to convince me that everything I heard last night was just my 'fucked up imagination'. And he wasn’t talking about mine and Lisa’s conversation, either… He was talking about the conversation him and I had.

Well, I know what I heard. And he's not going to take it away from me... No, not this time...

“Actually, I can remember exactly whatboth of you said to me last night,” I disagreed insistently, my secretive eyes flicking between Alex and Lisa sinisterly.

You told me you loved me...I knew I couldn't trust you.

"Of course you can't. You were completely out of it,” Alex retorted flatly, glaring at me heatedly.

I glared back warningly.

Don’t push me… I’ll fucking say it.

He suddenly broke the intense eye contact and tried to focus his eyes anywhere but on me.Cross your arms, avert your eyes; you're like a child ashamed to cry.

"Oh, really?" I asked, eyebrows raised high.

"I think it's time you went back to our tour bus now, Jack," Alex told me in a stern voice, but I sensed his faint panic.

Can't even face your friends, your best friend…

Let’s get the fucking truth out in the open once and for all, shall we?

I snapped my head in Lisa’s direction abruptly, unable to stomach Alex’s face any longer.

“He’s a fucking expert at lying, you know? I guess you two are the perfect couple, really...” I spoke bitterly.

I could feel Alex’s burning gaze on my face, but I avoided his eyes and kept staring at Lisa. She looked uneasy; she kept trying to look away from me, but she seemed captivated.Intrigued.

“You wanna know what yourboyfriend said to me last night?" I asked her, an evil smirk playing on my lips.

“Jack, that's enough,“ Alex suddenly interrupted, in a familiar, sickeningly pleading voice.

Unfortunately for him, his begging tone only added to the burning vengeance searing through my veins.

“He said he loves me,” I finally revealed in a bitter-sweet tone of voice.

Truth don't mix with reason, and cheating's the ultimate treason.

As soon as the words were out in the open, Alex abruptly detached his arm from around Lisa's shoulder and flew down the bus steps in one quick motion, coming straight up to me until his face was inches away from mine.

His menacing eyes were fixated on mine as I looked at him closely. I stepped backwards instinctively and flinched, expecting him to punch me or something. But what he said inflicted more pain on me than his fist or anything else ever could.

"You don't know what you’re talking about. I don’t fucking love you! Now go back to the tour bus, Jack."

If that’s the way you wanna play, then fine… Fuck you, Alex.

Friends are in vain; we're better off this way.

Notes

I hate everyone around me and i want them all to die so i can be left alone, because being left alone with no people around you hurts a lot less than being in a crowed and being ignored.....and thats what i am... ignored

i just want a friend that will talk to me.... skype me! i cant take this feeling anymore


Song lyrics/chapter title credit: Silverstein