POV: Jack

“Oh God... D-don’t stop,” I moaned desperately, threading my fingers through Alex’s matted hair.

He looked up at me through his long lashes with innocent eyes as he took me even further down his throat expertly.

It was enough to push me over the edge.

I inhaled sharply, almost choking on nothing but air as the waves of pleasure coursed through my body.

“Ugh, yes… Fuck, Alex!”

I awoke with a start, breathing heavily. My eyes snapped open abruptly, absorbing the light that was creeping into the bedroom through the cracks in the door and the blinds over the windows.

What the...?

Oh my God… No! It was a dream? Just a fucking DREAM?

Urgh. I hate my life.

I sighed in great disappointment, running my fingers through my hair, which was stuck to my forehead with sweat. My eyes scanned the bedroom on their own accord, taking in the familiar surroundings. I did a double take when I noticed that directly opposite me was my own empty bed.

The realisation that I was in Alex’s bed suddenly hit me like a bolt of lightning and memories of last night came flooding back automatically. I remembered drifting off to sleep in his arms, holding him like he was mine, having finally told him the truth after all these years. And after everything, he revealed that he loves me too! That is pretty fucked up, yet perfect irony…

All of a sudden, another realisation hit me, knocking me back into the brutal reality of the current situation; Alex is not in the bed with me now.Something isn't right; I can feel it again.

Confusion flooded through me and I absent-mindedly looked under the covers just to make sure he wasn’t under there, like he was in my dream.

Yeah, he wasn’t.

‘He can’t have gone far,’I tried telling myself, but there was another voice in the back of my mind, disagreeing.

'After the confessions that were revealed last night, he’s probably run a fucking mile. You know that is always the way with Alex…'

I hate to admit it, but the second voice has a point.

I know all too well that me and Alex get close and intimate one night, then the morning after he panics and avoids me like a fucking disease.I saw this coming… But part of me just thought this time it would be different. I guess I was naïve in trusting that.

I sighed once again in disappointment, slowly dragging myself out of Alex’s bed, still feeling half asleep. I got dressed lazily, throwing on whatever I found first, before heading out into the lounge area of the bus.

“Ah, you’re alive,” Robbie commented observantly as I walked in.

I scanned my eyes swiftly around the room, sweeping over Rian, Zack and Robbie all lounging around on the sofas.

Nope, not here either...

I fought back yet another sigh of disappointment and turned to face Robbie.

“Yeah,” I confirmed, even though the answer was pretty self-explanatory. “Where’s Alex?”

I may as well get straight to the point of my existence... You know, forever running after Alex.

“I dunno. He was in bed with you last time I saw him,” Robbie answered casually, as if what he had just said was nothing unusual, when in fact, it was… Sleeping together was not something me and Alex ever did.

Robbie didn’t seem phased, but Rian definitely did. I looked over at him to find him staring at me with worried eyes, slightly narrowed. But I wasn’t really concentrating on his curious gaze; my mind was wandering, mentally searching for Alex and refusing to accept the subconscious thoughts I was having about the only place he’d be.

“So, I have a question…” Robbie suddenly spoke again, breaking the silence when I failed to respond to his casual statement.

I broke out of my heavy thoughts and cocked an eyebrow at Robbie questioningly. Then I noticed the suggestive look on his face and my eyebrow went flat, my expression blank.

Let me guess…

“No, we’re not fucking,” I stated flatly, upon reading the expression on Robbie's face.

“Oh. Well, what are you doing then?” He frowned, demanding to know exactly what is going on between us.

He is the nosiest fucker in the world. Well, after Rian.

“Oh, do you want the details or…?” I questioned nonchalantly.

He opened his mouth to speak but Rian hastily beat him to it.

“Dear God, no. No details!”

Apparently he wasn’t his usual nosy self today… Either that or he just didn’t want to know the ins and outs of his basically brother’s sex life. Not that I actually knew it myself to tell him… I was only being sarcastic.

I smirked at Rian with a twinkle in my eye; he shot me a warning look. I just knew if I started talking about sucking Alex off again, he would run out of the room with his hands over his ears. It was rather tempting to go into the details just to see that reaction from him.

“Seriously though, Jack, what is going on with you and Alex?” Zack asked me curiously, snapping me out of my tempting thoughts of teasing Rian. “I mean, I thought you’d fallen out because of what happened onstage… And next thing I know, you're passed out in his arms, and then you're sleeping in his bed!"

I don't even know.I’ll tell him what’s going on between Alex and I when I know myself…This story's never had an end.

I dropped my gaze to the floor, avoiding Zack’s eyes. I felt ashamed about the state I got myself into last night… But I secretly felt even more ashamed because I was actually quite glad I did it, as I certainly got Alex’s attention, and ultimately, the truth out of him.

“Uh… I don’t know what’s going on with us. Really. But I think somethingcould happen between us, you know,” I shrugged hesitantly.

Well, I hope something happens…

I lifted my gaze back up reluctantly to find Zack looking at me with slight concern, Robbie staring at me with a bewildered expression, and Rian refusing to look at me at all, but staring at his feet instead.

“Right... So, let me get this straight… You’regoing to fuck?” Robbie tried to clarify.

Oh, for the love of God!

I looked at Robbie in incredulity at his persistence.

“No! Well, maybe… Probably... But dude, your interest in our sex life is pretty disturbing. If it means that much to you, if we ever do have sex, I’ll film it for your viewing pleasure!” I joked.

Rian and Zack didn’t seem to find my joke funny; Rian groaned loudly and Zack looked at me uncertainly, like he was actually wondering if I was being serious. Robbie just snorted.

“You’re a kinky fucker, Jack," he smirked at me. "And I swear to God, if you film it for me, I will burn the tape. Or maybe post it on the internet... But no, just a straight out “Robbie, we fucked” will do."

I chuckled slightly; his bluntness never fails to amuse me. And just the thought of it is hilarious. Imagine me and Alex ever did sleep together, and the first thing I said afterwards was, "Right, well, I better go tell Robbie." Alex would think I have some kind of mental issue.

“You would post it on the internet? You’re such a bitch!” I laughed at him. “I can see the headline now… ‘Jalex: the leaked sex tape'!”

The fans would have a fucking field day. Probably invent some kind of Jalex convention and watch it on a big screen or something.

And the thought of that makes me die inside.

“That’s a shitty headline,” he scoffed.

“No it’s not!” I argued in defence of my amazing headline. “Don’t deny that you’d watch it if you saw that headline pop up on the page!”

“I’d throw my computer out the window,” Rian shuddered.

I turned to Rian and raised my eyebrows.

“Good. I’d be more than a little freaked out if you did watch it,” I snorted.

“Jack, if I was the one who posted it in the first place and had the chance to watch it before it was on the internet, I’m not exactly going to stumble across it at a later stage and find that my curiosity gets the better of me, am I?” Robbie frowned, determined to have the final word, but my concentration disappeared before he had even finished speaking.

“Yeah, okay, stop talking now,” I waved my hand dismissively to end the most random conversation in history.

“You guys are seriously fucked up,” Zack sighed, making me snap my head in his direction.

“Robbie started it!” I exclaimed childishly, suddenly remembering Robbie’s initial question about whether me and Alex had fucked eachother.

“I was just wondering if you two have officially crossed the ‘just friends’ line,” Robbie explained with a shrug.

Oh… Well, I’m pretty sure Alex and I crossed that line a while ago the first time we did anything sexual.

“Oh right… Well, I’m fairly certain Alex and I are more than friends already,” I clarified with a sly smile.

“I knew it! Shit, man, I feel like I’m inside a fangirl’s imagination or something right now,” Robbie spoke in awe.

I smirked, shaking my head at him.

“Dude, no offence, but are you sure you and Alex getting together is a good idea?” Zack spoke up tentatively.Well, someone had to ruin the moment of negligence… “I mean, I’m just thinking of the band here… What if you both fall out big style? That will fuck us all up, you know?”

Oh Zack, why must you always think so rationally? Forget about the risks; I know it’s a good idea! Alex and I are destined to be together.

“Oh, he has a point, man… The band still comes first, right?” Robbie added questioningly.

For now, yes it does. But we’re having a short break after this tour, which finishes tonight, so I can’t help it if Alex takes the band’s place as my number one priority during that time…

“Well, yeah, of course,” I replied impatiently, only telling them what they wanted to hear.

“So… What about Lisa?” Zack asked hesitantly.

Must he reinforce the harsh reality that Alex is not all mine? I like to pretend just for a moment that he is…

Everything went silent for a moment; all eyes were on me again, and I gazed at the ceiling thoughtfully.

“Well, Alex needs to choose between me and her,” I replied reluctantly.

We can’t keep going the way we are… I refuse to just be his ‘bit on the side’. I thought I wanted him to use me, but I don’t… I can't do this. It is tearing me apart.I’m so broken.

“He’s not going to pick you, Jack,” Rian suddenly spoke up, exhaling loudly.

His tone was flat and his words were sharp; I felt like I had just been slapped across the face.

I flinched and snapped my head in Rian’s direction, finding that he was still staring downwards.

“W-what?” I stammered in naïve confusion.

“I’m sorry, man... But he won’t,” he apologised slowly.

How can he be so sure? Does he know something I don’t?

“How do you know? Did he tell you that?” I demanded desperately.

Rian shook his head hopelessly, still avoiding my curious eyes.

“I just know Alex. I lived with him for since we were in middle school. And I know what he’s got himself into,” he replied lamely.

I wish I knew too... I hate not knowing things!

“What do you mean?” I persisted, desperate for some proper answers.

Rian sighed in procrastination, clearly reluctant to say any more.

“It’s not my place to tell you, Jacky. You’ll have to talk to Alex later, if you can catch him alone,” he mumbled.

I’ll take that as a warning that he is glued to Lisa today… Well, what did I expect?You're so predictable.

“Fuck that! I’m going to talk to him now. And if I can’t catch him alone, I’ll just demand answers right in front of Lisa. I don’t care anymore. I’ve had enough of this,” I declared finally, getting to my feet.

I am done with this.He needs to make up his mind once and for all.

The guys looked slightly alarmed by my sudden transformed mood and abrupt movement as I crossed the room immediately, heading for the front door.

“Don't piss him off again, Jack,” Rian spoke apprehensively. "He's not coping well with everything at the moment... I don't know how he'll react this time."

It doesn't take much to piss off Alex these days... I don't know if it's something I can avoid. But I couldn't care less at this moment in time.I'm ending this right now.

"I don’t care," I retorted frankly.

And then I hurriedly left the bus.

Notes

HEYYYY GUESS WHO'S BACK!! Im so sorry i didnt update for 21 days! my parents took my laptop! but im back now! updates will be slow until i get back into my daily habbit of updating!!

COMMENT what you think will happen next.. RATE so more people can join the fun!SUBSCRIBE! so you can be the first to see what happens next.

Song lyrics credit: Good Charlott