A Walking Travesty
Sick
I wake up in a panic, and run to the bathroom. As soon as my knees hit the tile floor, I lean over the toilet and hurl. My stomach empties its contents and I break into a cold sweat. I grip the sides of the toilet bowl and rest my forehead against the cool porcelain. The room spins slowly and I shut my eyes, trying to block out my nausea.
“Babe?” Jack flips on the bathroom light. “You okay?”
He sits down next to me on the floor and rubs my back gently.
“I feel so sick.” I groan.
“It’s okay. I’ll stay home with you today.” He kisses the top of my head.
“No. Just go to school. I don’t want you catching whatever this is. I’ll be okay, I promise.” I assure him.
“Em-“
“No Jack. Don’t miss school today.” I insist.
“Okay.” He murmurs quietly. “Let me help you to bed.”
Jack scoops me up gently and carries me bridal style back to his room.
“Take me to the couch baby. I don’t want you getting sick.” I tell him.
“I’ll take the couch. You need to get your rest. Don’t argue.” He says firmly.
I nod and let him tuck me into his bed. Jack kisses my forehead and closes the door quietly behind him. As soon as I close my eyes, I fall right back asleep as if nothing ever happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pad into the kitchen with Jack’s Blink 182 shirt swaying right above my bare knees. No matter how many times I’ve brushed my teeth, the taste of vomit still remains. I walk into the kitchen and there is a note on the counter.
Goodmorning beautiful. I’m coming home during lunch to check on you and bring you some food. I ran to the grocery store this morning and got you some blueberry muffins. They are on the counter. I hope you are feeling better. Call me if you need me. I love you Emmabear.
-Jack
I grin and grab a muffin, taking it and the note back to Jack’s room. I turn on his TV and curl under the covers while nibbling on the muffin. I glance at the clock and notice that it’s almost time for Jack’s lunch break. I flip on Friends and relax into the mattress. My stomach seems to have settled down, but I don’t want to rock the boat. My phone chimes and I grab it.
Jack 12:22
We’re on the way babe.
Me 12:23
We?
Jack 12:28
Alex is following me in his car. He heard you were sick and told me he wanted to see if you were okay. I told him no and that’s when he got in his car. It was either let him come or don’t come at all.
Me 12:30
Okay. Door’s open.
I throw my hair up in a bun, trying to make myself look presentable. I set the muffin on the bedside table right as I hear two cars rumble in my driveway.
“Baby?” Jack yells. “We’re coming in.”
“Okay.” I call back.
Jack basically runs in the room with a bag of food in his hands. Alex follows close behind, looking like a lost puppy.
“Hey.” I smile at them.
Alex half smiles and looks away while Jack kisses my forehead.
“I got you some food. Ham and cheese Panini and tomato soup.” He hands me the food.
“That sounds perfect.” I moan, suddenly ravenous. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“How are you feeling?” He sits on the bed across from me as I start to munch on the sandwich.
“Better. It’s weird, it’s as if it never happened. I’m hesitant though I don’t want to upset my stomach anymore.” I explain.
“When did you wake up?” He asks.
“Like 45 minutes ago. Thanks for the muffins baby.” I smile. “I appreciate it.”
“I can’t stay much longer. I used most of my lunch break getting the food. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home?” He presses.
“No worries Jack. I’ll be okay. Just don’t be late to class please.” I beg.
“We’d better get out of here then.” Jack nods to Alex.
“I need to talk to her.” Alex mumbles.
I basically choke on my tomato soup at the sound of his voice. It sounds raw and anxious, as if he’s been waiting to do this for a while.
“Em?” Jack asks. “Are you okay with that?”
“I guess so.” I shrug.
Jack kisses my forehead and walks towards Alex.
“I swear to fucking god Alex if you touch her or hurt her in any way, I will get a restraining order on your ass.” Jack growls.
Alex nods in understanding, an unusual response. Usually he would try to make a snide remark or fight back, but he completely backs off.
Jack leaves and Alex takes his place on the bed. I become nervous all of a sudden, unsure of what is about to happen. I can usually predict Alex but as of now, I have no idea where he is going with this.
“I don’t deserve this.” He starts, fiddling with his thumbs. “I don’t deserve to be sitting across from you. I don’t deserve to even be talking to you. I’m sorry Emma. It doesn’t mean shit but I’m sorry. I’ve never laid a hand on a girl before in my life. I let you so close and it scared me. I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve told you. Something about being so close to you makes me scared. I’m sorry. It was really stupid and all I can do is thank you for not calling the cops. You could’ve easily gotten rid of me but you actually gave me another chance. I’m not asking for you to forgive me, I just want you to know I’m genuinely sorry.”
I look at him closely, analyzing his features. His expression is genuine, but nervous. He has deep circles under his eyes and his face is drawn. There’s a cut above his eyebrow and a bruise on his right cheek.
“When’s the last time you used?” I ask.
“Used?” He questions.
“Used drugs. Anything.” I explain.
“Two nights ago.” He shuts his eyes tightly. “I swear.”
I nod, believing him. “I forgive you. I already told you that and I mean it. It means a lot to me that you came over to apologize.”
“I wanted to tell you today during lunch but I heard you were sick. It couldn’t wait any longer. This was long overdue.” He sighs.
“So what happened? Why’d you start using so seriously? Drinking is one thing but cocaine is a whole other thing.” I finish my sandwich and move onto the soup.
“Like I said, we got too close. I talked about my life, which triggered the shit out of me. I was only planning on hanging with Sasha, maybe smoking a bowl but when I got there, she had just capped some cocaine. At first I was really against it, but then something just took over me. Once I started, I felt so much better. When I came here, I was coked out to the max and that’s why I freaked out so much. It just took away any feeling of fear or anger. It took away everything.” Alex half smiles at me.
“I’m glad you stopped.” I nod. “Why did you stop?”
“I hit my rock bottom. I was coked out for 48 hours straight. I got into another fistfight but with a guy. I blacked out and woke up in an alley. The guy had taken my wallet, my phone, and everything else I had in my pockets. I had to find my way home by myself because I was too afraid to ask for directions. I was in a town about an hour from here. What scared me is that I didn’t remember anything after the fight. I can’t keep living a life like that.” Alex shakes his head. “I should have never let it get to that point.”
“I’m glad you did though. It’s for the better.” I rub his knee in encouragement.
He lets out a long sigh and lies down on the bed. “Tell me about you. What’s new?”
“Well, not much really. Jack and I have been really good.” I respond.
“What about the cutting?” He side glances at me.
“I haven’t in a while. It’s nice.” I smile. “It still nags my mind sometimes but I feel better.”
“I’m proud of you. What’s with this sick thing? What happened there?” Alex pokes me.
“I have no idea.” I groan. “I just got really sick this morning. I feel better though. I still feel a little queasy but nothing too severe.”
“Be careful kiddo. Don’t underestimate a virus. It can seriously take a toll on your body.” He warns me.
My phone vibrates before I have a chance to answer.
Jack 1:07
Is everything okay?
Me 1:08
Everything is fine Jack. We are just talking. He should be leaving soon. Thanks for the food, it was delicious. Love you and can’t wait for you to come back home :*
“If you don’t mind Alex I really want to catch up on my rest. I feel exhausted.” I sigh.
“No problem. Just let me know if you need anything. I hope I see you tomorrow. Keep in touch.” He crawls off the bed and pecks my forehead.
“Bye Alex.” I grin.
He takes my trash to the kitchen with him and flips the lights off. My body crumbles into the sheets and a new wave of exhaustion lulls my body to sleep.
“Babe?” Jack flips on the bathroom light. “You okay?”
He sits down next to me on the floor and rubs my back gently.
“I feel so sick.” I groan.
“It’s okay. I’ll stay home with you today.” He kisses the top of my head.
“No. Just go to school. I don’t want you catching whatever this is. I’ll be okay, I promise.” I assure him.
“Em-“
“No Jack. Don’t miss school today.” I insist.
“Okay.” He murmurs quietly. “Let me help you to bed.”
Jack scoops me up gently and carries me bridal style back to his room.
“Take me to the couch baby. I don’t want you getting sick.” I tell him.
“I’ll take the couch. You need to get your rest. Don’t argue.” He says firmly.
I nod and let him tuck me into his bed. Jack kisses my forehead and closes the door quietly behind him. As soon as I close my eyes, I fall right back asleep as if nothing ever happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I pad into the kitchen with Jack’s Blink 182 shirt swaying right above my bare knees. No matter how many times I’ve brushed my teeth, the taste of vomit still remains. I walk into the kitchen and there is a note on the counter.
Goodmorning beautiful. I’m coming home during lunch to check on you and bring you some food. I ran to the grocery store this morning and got you some blueberry muffins. They are on the counter. I hope you are feeling better. Call me if you need me. I love you Emmabear.
-Jack
I grin and grab a muffin, taking it and the note back to Jack’s room. I turn on his TV and curl under the covers while nibbling on the muffin. I glance at the clock and notice that it’s almost time for Jack’s lunch break. I flip on Friends and relax into the mattress. My stomach seems to have settled down, but I don’t want to rock the boat. My phone chimes and I grab it.
Jack 12:22
We’re on the way babe.
Me 12:23
We?
Jack 12:28
Alex is following me in his car. He heard you were sick and told me he wanted to see if you were okay. I told him no and that’s when he got in his car. It was either let him come or don’t come at all.
Me 12:30
Okay. Door’s open.
I throw my hair up in a bun, trying to make myself look presentable. I set the muffin on the bedside table right as I hear two cars rumble in my driveway.
“Baby?” Jack yells. “We’re coming in.”
“Okay.” I call back.
Jack basically runs in the room with a bag of food in his hands. Alex follows close behind, looking like a lost puppy.
“Hey.” I smile at them.
Alex half smiles and looks away while Jack kisses my forehead.
“I got you some food. Ham and cheese Panini and tomato soup.” He hands me the food.
“That sounds perfect.” I moan, suddenly ravenous. “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
“How are you feeling?” He sits on the bed across from me as I start to munch on the sandwich.
“Better. It’s weird, it’s as if it never happened. I’m hesitant though I don’t want to upset my stomach anymore.” I explain.
“When did you wake up?” He asks.
“Like 45 minutes ago. Thanks for the muffins baby.” I smile. “I appreciate it.”
“I can’t stay much longer. I used most of my lunch break getting the food. Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home?” He presses.
“No worries Jack. I’ll be okay. Just don’t be late to class please.” I beg.
“We’d better get out of here then.” Jack nods to Alex.
“I need to talk to her.” Alex mumbles.
I basically choke on my tomato soup at the sound of his voice. It sounds raw and anxious, as if he’s been waiting to do this for a while.
“Em?” Jack asks. “Are you okay with that?”
“I guess so.” I shrug.
Jack kisses my forehead and walks towards Alex.
“I swear to fucking god Alex if you touch her or hurt her in any way, I will get a restraining order on your ass.” Jack growls.
Alex nods in understanding, an unusual response. Usually he would try to make a snide remark or fight back, but he completely backs off.
Jack leaves and Alex takes his place on the bed. I become nervous all of a sudden, unsure of what is about to happen. I can usually predict Alex but as of now, I have no idea where he is going with this.
“I don’t deserve this.” He starts, fiddling with his thumbs. “I don’t deserve to be sitting across from you. I don’t deserve to even be talking to you. I’m sorry Emma. It doesn’t mean shit but I’m sorry. I’ve never laid a hand on a girl before in my life. I let you so close and it scared me. I’ve never told anyone as much as I’ve told you. Something about being so close to you makes me scared. I’m sorry. It was really stupid and all I can do is thank you for not calling the cops. You could’ve easily gotten rid of me but you actually gave me another chance. I’m not asking for you to forgive me, I just want you to know I’m genuinely sorry.”
I look at him closely, analyzing his features. His expression is genuine, but nervous. He has deep circles under his eyes and his face is drawn. There’s a cut above his eyebrow and a bruise on his right cheek.
“When’s the last time you used?” I ask.
“Used?” He questions.
“Used drugs. Anything.” I explain.
“Two nights ago.” He shuts his eyes tightly. “I swear.”
I nod, believing him. “I forgive you. I already told you that and I mean it. It means a lot to me that you came over to apologize.”
“I wanted to tell you today during lunch but I heard you were sick. It couldn’t wait any longer. This was long overdue.” He sighs.
“So what happened? Why’d you start using so seriously? Drinking is one thing but cocaine is a whole other thing.” I finish my sandwich and move onto the soup.
“Like I said, we got too close. I talked about my life, which triggered the shit out of me. I was only planning on hanging with Sasha, maybe smoking a bowl but when I got there, she had just capped some cocaine. At first I was really against it, but then something just took over me. Once I started, I felt so much better. When I came here, I was coked out to the max and that’s why I freaked out so much. It just took away any feeling of fear or anger. It took away everything.” Alex half smiles at me.
“I’m glad you stopped.” I nod. “Why did you stop?”
“I hit my rock bottom. I was coked out for 48 hours straight. I got into another fistfight but with a guy. I blacked out and woke up in an alley. The guy had taken my wallet, my phone, and everything else I had in my pockets. I had to find my way home by myself because I was too afraid to ask for directions. I was in a town about an hour from here. What scared me is that I didn’t remember anything after the fight. I can’t keep living a life like that.” Alex shakes his head. “I should have never let it get to that point.”
“I’m glad you did though. It’s for the better.” I rub his knee in encouragement.
He lets out a long sigh and lies down on the bed. “Tell me about you. What’s new?”
“Well, not much really. Jack and I have been really good.” I respond.
“What about the cutting?” He side glances at me.
“I haven’t in a while. It’s nice.” I smile. “It still nags my mind sometimes but I feel better.”
“I’m proud of you. What’s with this sick thing? What happened there?” Alex pokes me.
“I have no idea.” I groan. “I just got really sick this morning. I feel better though. I still feel a little queasy but nothing too severe.”
“Be careful kiddo. Don’t underestimate a virus. It can seriously take a toll on your body.” He warns me.
My phone vibrates before I have a chance to answer.
Jack 1:07
Is everything okay?
Me 1:08
Everything is fine Jack. We are just talking. He should be leaving soon. Thanks for the food, it was delicious. Love you and can’t wait for you to come back home :*
“If you don’t mind Alex I really want to catch up on my rest. I feel exhausted.” I sigh.
“No problem. Just let me know if you need anything. I hope I see you tomorrow. Keep in touch.” He crawls off the bed and pecks my forehead.
“Bye Alex.” I grin.
He takes my trash to the kitchen with him and flips the lights off. My body crumbles into the sheets and a new wave of exhaustion lulls my body to sleep.
I HATE YOU MORE THEN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW OMG
NO
NO
OMG I WILL CRY
NO
oh my god I love you
11/20/13