“It’s just one night.” Jack pleads. “I’m so sorry Emmabear.”

I glare at Alex who is in the kitchen pacing back and forth. “Fine. I’m not thrilled though.”

Jack slips a hand on each side of my face and kisses me softly. I melt into his kiss and my heart races. “Thank you.” He murmurs.

“I’m going to bed.” I yawn. “I’m a little tired.”

“I will too. Let me set Alex up on the couch.” Jack sighs.

I turn back to Jack’s room without saying a word to Alex. Apparently, Alex was having some problem with a guy. He was ready to beat the shit out of Alex before Jack came along and talked him out of it. The guy thought Alex took his wallet and Jack did a pat down of Alex in front of the guy to show him nothing was there. The man apologized and went on his way. Jack insisted Alex come home with us, at least for the night, just to make sure. By the time they got home, Jack’s mom was already home and getting ready for bed. She didn’t mind Alex staying and said goodnight to us all.

I sigh as I get ready for bed. I take my hair out of the bun and run my fingers through my hair a few times. I dig through my suitcase and find a pair of black Soffee shorts. I really hate sleeping in a lot of clothing, but since I’m at Jack’s house I can’t quite sleep naked. I slip into Jack’s bed and curl up into a ball tightly. Jack joins me shortly thereafter and falls asleep within minutes.

An hour passes and I’m still awake. Jack has been snoring lightly and the house falls silent. I crawl out of bed and go to get water from the kitchen. The house is dark and silent as I tiptoe through the hallway. I get to the kitchen and pour myself some water from the fridge, without turning any lights on. I tiptoe back to Jack’s room when all of a sudden, Alex speaks.

“I can hear you by the way.” He chuckles.

I freeze and turn around, finding my way to the couch in the dark. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.” I mutter.

“Can I ask you something?” He asks quietly.

“Shoot.” I sit on the floor by the couch. I still can’t see Alex at all.

“Why do you hate me so much?”

I stifle a laugh. “Alex, are you serious? You threatened my boyfriend so you can have a friend who beats people up with you. You’re dating the girl who’s made my life hell for who knows how long. You just frustrate me so much.”

“I know. I am sorry Emma, for all of this. I didn’t want this to ever happen.” He sighs.

“Then why did it? Why are you letting all of this happen?” I ask, slightly annoyed.

Alex falls silent. All I can hear is the blankets shifting underneath him.

“Can I trust you?” He asks all of a sudden.

“Of cou-“ I start but he interrupts me.

“I’m not fucking kidding Emma. This isn’t some playground secret.” He growls.

“Cut the shit Alex. I don’t have anyone to talk to except for Jack. But if you need me to, I won’t tell him either. Just tell me.” I assure him.

“Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I am the way I am because I’ve been blackmailed too?” He starts. “I bet it hasn’t. I bet you were wondering where I came from too. It was almost like I appeared out of nowhere. I transferred schools a few weeks ago. I had to move because people were making fun of me at my old school. It got so severe, I tried to kill myself. I tried moving to a different city, starting a new school. First few days worked out great. No one knew who I was. That was until Sasha approached me. She asked if I was Alex Gaygarth, my old nickname at my old high school. I froze and she told me she had a cousin who used to go to my old school. He told her everything. She said if I didn’t act like her boyfriend, then she would tell the whole school. I couldn’t start all over again so I acted like her boyfriend. She wanted to make Jack jealous. She told me to start getting close to Jack so I could tear him away from you. She figured if Jack started acting like a bully, you would leave him. At first, it didn’t seem like such a big deal. But now I realize how much you two actually love each other and how much shit you two are going through. It isn’t fair for me to do this. The guilt eats me alive every fucking day and I can’t take it.” His voice breaks at the end.

Without thinking, I stand up, and crawl on top of Alex on the couch. I lie on top of him and hug him tightly to me. His arms wrap around my back and crush my body against his. I can feel his body shake as he tries to choke back sobs. We stay like that for a few minutes until Alex finally composes himself. I lean up, but still sit on him. He grabs my hands and pulls them down to his bare chest. Confused, I try to pull away.

“Wait.” He says softly.

His hands trail my fingers over his chest and arms. I feel rough patches, almost like blisters. A few feel like lines and I frown.

“Alex what am I feeling?” I ask.

“Everything I have been feeling my whole life.” He whispers.

My eyes well up with tears as I realize what he means. Alex self harms too.

“Why?” I ask.

“I just hate everything about my life. I always feel like a loser. My parents were never there for me. They told me to suck it up and deal with the bullies. My dad encouraged me to fight them physically. Girls always acted like I was a freak. When I was in 6th grade, I started to believe them. I tried changing my hair, my clothes, everything but that only made them call me a faggot. Then I started cutting. Then when I got here, I started smoking cigarettes and using those to self-harm. I stump the burning ash out on my skin. I drink all the time. I don’t really give a fuck about anything anymore. I did steal that guy’s wallet tonight for the record. Doing things like that are just attempts at feeling something other than sadness. It just makes me feel real I guess. I’m the freak they all said I was.” Alex sighs.

I grab his hand and lead it to my stomach. I run it over the hundreds of scars I have. I hear him gasp slightly when his fingers touch my scars.

“Why?” He asks me.

“Same thing as you basically. Everyone always made fun of me. Everyone always left me. My parents spoiled me materialistically, but were never there for me emotionally. I just hate myself. Jack’s helping me get through it now. He’s special to me. He makes me realize that I don’t need to. The last time I did was the day I found out about the deal you and him were going to make…” I explain.

“I’m so sorry.” Alex mutters.

“I never thought I would ever say this, but I forgive you Alex.” I laugh softly.

He squeezes my hand softly and sits up. My legs remain on his lap and he drapes his arms over them.

“Jack’s a lucky guy.” Alex sighs. “You really are something special Em. One in a million.”

“I’ll let you know the day I believe that.” I reply. “But I know you’ll find a girl soon. Just please for the love of god, be this Alex. The one who actually feels for someone. The guy I know is good.”

He laughs slightly. “I’ll let you know the day I believe that.” He retorts. “As for now, I have to keep this Jack thing up. I’ll keep him safe. Just please don’t take it personal.”

“I won’t.” I pinky promise him.

“Go back to bed. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” Alex says softly.

I sling my legs off of him and to the floor. I stand up and Alex stands up with me. He gives me a long, big hug.

“Thank you.” He whispers.

“Anytime.” I squeeze him gently.

I return back to Jack’s room feeling a lot better. He is still snoring softly, turning over when I crawl into bed. He stirs a little.

“Where did you go?” He murmurs.

“Get some water. Go back to sleep baby.” I whisper and kiss his forehead.

Jack wraps his arms around me and pulls my back against his chest. His lips bury in my hair and kiss me gently.

“Love you Emmabear.”
“Love you more Jackypoo.” I whisper right before he begins to snore.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wake up the next morning in Jack’s arms. He is humming softly into my ear and stroking my legs with his hand. I turn around and furrow into his chest. He chuckles and holds me close. His fingers trace patterns on my back.

“It’s time to wake up.” He murmurs.

“Do we have to?” I groan and snuggle up closer.

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he scoots off the bed with me in his arms. He stands up and pulls me to my feet. I stand and stretch, groaning at my still half asleep muscles. We pad out of his room hand in hand and into the kitchen. I walk past the couch and see Alex’s mess of hair poking out from the covers. He’s still snoring so I let him be. Jack and I sit at the kitchen table just as Jack’s mom is placing a plate of pancakes on it.

“Thank you.” Jack and I say in unison.

“No problem at all.” She smiles. “I’m going out today so I figured I could at least make you breakfast.”

“What are you up to today?” Jack asks as he piles pancakes on his place.

“Just a few general errands. I’m also catching up with an old friend from college. I’ll keep in touch.” She smiles.

Alex comes padding in wearing a pair of Jack’s blue plaid pajama pants and no shirt. He has a blanket wrapped around his shoulders and pulled across his torso. His bare feet carry him to the table and he plops down in the seat next to me.

“Morning.” He yawns as he stabs a couple of pancakes onto his plate.

“Morning.” I smile.

Jack looks at me confused but I ignore him. I told Alex I wouldn’t say anything and I mean that.

“How’d you sleep Alex?” Jack’s mom asks.

“Perfect. Thank you so much again for letting me stay on such short notice.” He throws a toothy smile her way.

She smiles back and nods. “No big deal at all. Well I’m out of here kiddos. See you later.”

“Bye.” We call back to her as she walks out of the kitchen.

“What are we doing today?” I ask Jack with a mouthful of pancakes.

“I’ll get out of here. You guys enjoy your day.” Alex says quickly.

“No it’s fine. Seriously. We should all do something.” I tell him shrugging my shoulders.

Jack looks seriously confused but goes along with it. “Sure. Let’s just hang out here for a bit. We can figure the day out later.”

I nod in agreement and Alex agrees as well.

“I’m gonna go outside for a smoke break.” Alex says suddenly and stands up.

Before we had a chance to answer, he was out of the kitchen and heading towards the backyard. After about 10 minutes, Alex doesn’t return. Jack and I go to the backyard, but he isn’t there. A cigarette butt is on the cement slab, still smoking a little. We look left and right, around the entire property but we can’t find him.

Alex is gone.

Notes

So I never mentioned I went to Warped in West Palm Beach recently.
It was amazing.
So amazing.
Until it poured for hours.
Also, just bought tickets to the House Party tour! If you guys haven't heard, All Time Low is touring with A Day to Remember and Pierce the Veil. It's gonna be pretty epic c:
Well anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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AND THANK YOU to the commenters and new subscribers c: and the new subscriber that commented *cough cough*