The forth of July, a holiday made for people out in the sticks like my family to get wasted and blow things up. My whole family was here, what's left of them in this state: My grandma, my sister, her boyfriend and my mom. Along with them were my crew from Rae's house: Dennis, Kelly, Kristen, Steph, Jack, Alex and Rian. With them came some of Steph's family: Her aunt and uncle and their kids, who I never really met before. Now, to add to that, we had: Lindsey (my best friend from my neighborhood, who understood why I was so close to Steph and why I needed my space), two of her own friends and her mother, and a few of my mom's drunken friends.


Naturally, this meant I had to make rounds and say hello to everyone, which was incredibly hard considering I could still barely walk without wanting to cry. Plus, everyone would coo over my 'condition,' meaning my broken nose, then turn around and laugh at me five minutes later. I was never a big fan of family events, chaos always struck. So after I said hello and posed in pictures, entirely against my black-eyed will, I lingered in the kitchen as most of the party guests went outside to drink beer and grill out. Dennis was cooking, so my mom, grandma and friends stayed inside with me.


In the kitchen, my drunk mother forced me to chug most of her beer, which was fine. She knew I drank, she was just never fond of it. After this, I decided to spilt a bottle of Boones Farm with my grandmother, who loved to drink as much as the rest of us. When we finished that, I decided to say fuck it and grab a case of beer from the bottom of the fridge, with that, I handed one out to all of my guests, minus Kris who was outside with her dad and way too young to drink, anyway.


"I'm going to go outside," my mom commented, her eyes grazing over Dennis on the grill. "If you need me, yell for me."


Yeah, likely, woman. As she left the house, I felt myself relax. In the kitchen it was only me, my granny, Alex, Jack, Rian, Steph and Lindsey, but Lindsey was such a social butterfly that she soon left, too.


"So you're Alex?" My grandma eyed my boyfriend. She was always a weird lady, she either loved you or hated you.. and if she hated you, may God have mercy on your soul. "I never thought my Jessica would end up with someone like you. Boy, you got more hair than I do!"


I supressed my laugh. Alex awkwardly shifted his weight, tugging on the beanie that laid perfectly on his head. Steph shoved her head in Jack's chest as Jack and Rian chuckled to each other.


"Come here," my grandma climbed off of the bar stool and stood next to Alex, at least a foot shorter than he was. She reach up and yanked the beanie off of his head, making Alex's eyes grow wide. "How does this thing work?"


She pulled it over her head, covering most of her forehead with her eyebrows raised. I giggled to myself outloud this time, my face turning red. She shifted her weight and threw up a peace sign, her other hand making a middle finger.


"Dude, you're crazy," Alex laughed. "Looks better on you than me!"


"Of course," she snorted, flipping her thin, curled hair. "I'm one sexy grandma!"


By now, we were all trying to catch our breath. Rian even had beer shoot out of his nose, which only made us laugh harder. Eventually, it died down though, and my grandma shoved Alex's beanie back on his head.


"Young man, will you help an old lady get outside?"


"Yes ma'am," Alex beamed, grabbing her arm to escort her out. "It'd be an honor."


"Don't call me ma'am."


As they left the house, Steph kissed Jack's cheek and asked him to wait for her in the den. He nodded slowly and led Rian back down the stairs, Steph now following me to my bedroom. She knew I didn't like people, knew it fucked with my anxiety, so this was routine. I shut my bedroom door behind us and took in the familiar room that I hadn't seen in so long. The white walls splashed with multi-colored paint, my bunk bed, where I left the day bed on the bottom as a couch right in front of the TV, my game systems set up perfectly. The animal print curtains, sheets and rug. Then, on my dresser, things from my Dad. His shirt, the flower topper from his grave, papers from his funeral and a single red rose that I was supposed to drop on his casket, but never did. Sighing to myself, I sat down on the couch and placed my head in my hands.


"You okay, Jess?"


"I hate it here. I hate the show my mom puts on, I hate seeing my sister so fucked up out of her mind, I hate this room with a burning passion. I just want to go home."


"We'll leave after the fireworks, babe," she forced a smile. "As for your sister, I've seen you way worse than her."


I snickered, admitting that she was right. It was a family thing, I guess.


"Can I ask you a question?"


"Sure."


"Has.. Well, I don't want to offend you, but. Has Kelly been giving you a weird vibe lately?"


"Oh my God, yes!" Stephanie let out a sigh, seeming as if she'd been holding that in for a while. "She just seems so weird lately. You guys don't even talk anymore, do you?"


"Not often."


"That's weird. You two were closer than almost we were."


"Yeah," I frowned, trying to put my finger on it. "Guess we should get back out there, huh?"


She nodded, extending her arm to me. I took with sadness, giving one last look to my dad's things before turning off the light and closing the door. Steph walked slowly and left me by the door while she went to grab some more beer. Here, Kelly almost took me out, drunk and moving quickly. Her face was beet red.


"Jess, let me tell you," she slurred, her breath smelling of liquor. "If you weren't dating Alex, I'd kiss him!"


Bile began to rise in my throat and my fist began to raise to hit her, but Steph grabbed my arm and stuck a beer in my hand, yanking me towards the den. She sat me down on a chair and sat on the couch with Alex, Jack and Rian. I popped the tab on my beer and chugged the whole thing, asking for another. This time, Alex brought it to me, a grin on his lips.


"You okay, babe?"


"I will be."


"Let's give them a minute, guys," Steph pointed to the door. "Come out when you're ready."


I nodded as the four of them left the room. Alex pulled me from my chair and drug me over to the couch, a small smile playing on his lips. We hadn't been alone together since before my accident. Maybe that's why we were drifting so much. That, and I never did relationships well...


"You wanna tell me what's wrong or do I have to guess?"


"Depends," I rose an eyebrow, clinging to my beer. "Could you guess?"


"Does it start with a K and end with an Elly?"


"So she got to you while I was gone, huh?" I made myself smile, even though I still wanted to punch her. "What happened, Alex?"


"Nothing happened, Jess. She came down here, drunk as piss and told me she was attracted to me. The woman is like, thirty. I'm not interested in anyone but you, okay?"


"She's in her early twenties," I shrugged, looking down at the floor. "Never in a million years did I think that she would say something like that."


"Jess, look at me," Alex put his finger on my chin, lifting my face. "You're the only girl for me. I- I love you."


There it goes, the chaos that is my home. I swallowed hard and blinked a few times. Did he love me? No fucking way. Did I love him? What the fuck is love? I felt strongly about him. I wanted to beat Kelly's face in over him, that means something, doesn't it?


"I love you, too," I whispered, scared shitless.


Alex smiled the sweetest smile I'd ever seen. He cupped my cheek in his hand, laughing gently as his eyes lit up, ironically, like the forth of July. He moved his head in closer to mine, his hot breath lingering on my jaw line. Oddly, the fact that he smelled like beer pulled me in. I parted my lips lightly to catch my breath, but the moment I did so, he pressed his lips to mine with a force. My eyes sealed up tightly, my hand making its way to his leg. The taste of him was like fucking extacy. Alex wrapped his free hand through my hair and ran his tongue over my lip. I opened my mouth a little wider, my heart beating at a crazy pace. I'd never enjoyed french kissing, but with him, it felt so right. We stayed that way for a good five minutes, our lips moving together perfectly, so by the time we parted we were both panting and our lips were swollen. I'd been kissed before, but never, ever like that.


He let his fingers trail down my collar bone before he gave me one last, soft kiss and pulled me into his arms. For that moment, I felt at ease. Like nothing could touch me. Not my depression, not my anxiety, not my anger. I was at peace, but peace goes as quickly as it comes.


"Well aren't you two just adorable," a familiar voice slurred from the doorway. "If I didn't have Dennis, I'd be jealous!"


I slowly trailed my eyes to her body. She had her arms crossed and a mixed drink in her hand but she barely noticed me. Her eyes were locked on Alex's, the two of them staring at each other in a way that literally made me cringe, which seemed to pull Alex from his daze because he tightened his grip on my body. Blinking a few times, I gently ripped myself away from him so I could stand up. From there, I tugged on his hand and forced him to follow me up the stairs, straight past Kelly and out of the door. Naturally, I didn't enjoy being around the crowd, but it was better than being around her.


"Is everything okay?" Steph asked, pulling me as I was pulling Alex to join her, Jack and Rian. "I saw Kelly go back inside."


"It's all good," I murmured, taking a long swig of my beer. "It's nearly dark. Are they going to do the fireworks so we can go home soon?"


"I.. Well," Stephanie glanced to Jack, a worried look on her face. "I honestly don't know. Your mom and my dad ran off together."


"You've gotta be fucking kidding me."


"Nope..."


I felt my stomach churn for the millionth time today. When things happened in my life, they happened all at once. Kelly making a move on Alex, a minor, is absolutely disgusting, but it made a little more sense. Dennis had always been attracted to my mother, they bonded over the fact that they were both divorced parents raising two girls, but I never saw it going any further than friendship because Dennis had Kelly. However, that didn't mean it didn't seem like more. Women are spiteful and if Kelly believed that Dennis wanted to be with my mother, she'd get revenge, no matter the cost.


"Fireworks!" My mom slurred, coming out from behind the shed that sat in the middle of the back yard. Dennis was close behind, carrying the box and a brick to place them on. "Someone turn off the back porch light!"


So I sat there, leaning against Alex's body, feeling his pulse match mine as the fireworks started. His arms were locked tightly around me, making me feel secure, but at the same time, I couldn't help but imagine myself as one of the pretty lights flickering in the yard. I was but a short fuse, waiting to explode.

Notes

Oh my gosh, you guys are amazing! The support you're giving me and the fact that you love the darker side of this story is seriously what keeps me writing it. So, big thanks to:
Barrakitty_Sel
h4yleywilli4ms
GhostWriter

Also to Heather (I Got The Guts To Say Anything) who has had a huge impact on this story. I believe she brought in a lot of you new readers and she has done nothing but motivate me to keep going with this story. Thank you so much, girl. I effin love you! <3.