Guts
Chapter Fifty: Carry On Wayward Son
I was woken up by Zack the next morning.
"C'mon, get up. If you want, you can shower before we head out," Zack said. I rubbed the sleep out of my swollen eyes, and I sat up. I looked at Zack and frowned.
"Do I have to?" I asked. Unfortunately, Zack nodded, and he pulled me up and into his arms, hugging me.
"Well, if I have to, let's get it over with," I muttered as I stepped out of the embrace. Zack lead me to the door, and he got in his car while I got in mine. The drive wasn't long, but it seemed long. I was seriously dreading seeing Jack, especially since he accused me of cheating on him, but Lord knows I'd never do that. Ever.
So, when I pulled into the driveway, I waited for Zack to get out of his car before getting out of my own. I went as slow as possible, but eventually I was standing in the driveway next to Zack.
"Remember, I'm only here for moral support," Zack said. I nodded, took a deep breath, and trudged up to the front door. I turned the handle on the door and pushed, finding the door unlocked. Zack followed me in and closed the door behind him as I entered the house fully.
"Jack?" I asked, realizing how quiet I was.
"Jack!?" I called, louder this time as I looked around the empty living room, expecting movement. I looked back at Zack who was standing by the door, making no means to move. I looked at the stairs and walked towards them, and I slowly climbed them. I walked down the hallway and entered our room, slowly and silently pushing the door open.
I stepped inside the room fully, eyes landing on a sheet covered mass in the middle of the bed. I quietly approached and got a good look. It was Jack and- oh God. I covered my mouth with my right hand and backed out of the room. I left the door ajar and turned around, entering Jackie's room. She was sitting on her bed, coloring book in her lap. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Hi mommy," she said with smile.
"C'mon baby. We're leaving," I said. She closed her coloring book and got off the bed, grabbing my hand. I lead her downstairs to where Zack was waiting, and I let go of Jackie's hand, only to take my ring off and set it gently on the coffee table. I then picked Jackie up, and the three of us left with no words.
~~
"Woah! Hold up, Rebecca!" Alex exclaimed.
"What!?" I asked bitterly through my tears, "I saw it with my own eyes, Alex! He slept with her!" I was a sobbing mess on Alex's couch. Zack had driven to Alex's house, and I had followed in my car.
"Did you see her face?" Alex asked softly.
"No. She had brown hair. That's all I saw," I muttered. I was aware of Alex's hand on my back, slowly massaging to try and calm me down. Zack was sitting across from Alex and I, his head in his hands. Jackie was in another room with Stephanie so she didn't have to see me break down.
"Alex!" I sobbed, leaning into him, "I love him, Alex!" I completely broke down right there. I sobbed, quickly losing my breath, causing me to take deep breaths between each sob. Alex pulled me into his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"Shh. It'll be okay, Rebecca," Alex whispered in my ear. Since I had a tendency to pull on things or dig my nails into things when I sobbed, I accidentally dug my nails into his neck.
"No it won't!" I cried. I removed my arms from around his neck and stood up. I only wanted comfort from Jack, but that was totally out of the question. I sunk to the floor after stepping away from Alex, and I continued to sob. They were becoming uncontrollable, and it was becoming difficult to get myself under control.
"Mommy?" Jackie's soft voice echoed around the room. I looked up at her, and she ran over to me and into my arms. I held her tightly in my arms, my right hand on the back of her head, my left placed on her back. Her arms were around my neck, and she hugged me tightly.
"I love you, mommy. I think that whatever happened will be okay," she said, her small voice quiet in my ear.
"I love you too, baby girl," I said through rib-racking sobs. Jackie and I sat there together for a while. I couldn't put my finger on how long, but it felt like an hour, maybe two. But during that time, I had significantly calmed down. When I pulled away from Jackie, I set her on the floor and I rubbed my itchy eyes.
"Can I call Jack and ask him over?" Alex asked. I sighed.
"Might as well," I grumbled. Jackie crawled back into my lap, and she hugged me again. I rubbed her back for a few minutes before letting Steph take her back into the kitchen. Jack arrived about ten minutes later. I was just sitting on the floor, staring at the carpet in front of me.
"What the fuck do you guys want?" Jack asked bitterly as he entered the house. I looked up at him, but he wasn't looking up. He was looking at something in his hand; my ring. When he looked up, his eyes met mine first. I mustered up a glare and I sent it his way.
"She told us what happened, Jack," Alex said, standing up and approaching his best friend.
"Whatever she told you was probably a fucking lie. Why was your ring on the coffee table!?" Jack asked, stepping closer to me. I flinched and scooted backwards until I hit the chair Zack was sitting in.
"Jack," I muttered, rubbing my temples. I stood up and approached him, stopping about a foot in front of him.
"What I told them was the truth. What I told you yesterday was the truth. But apparently you can't accept the truth! Sleeping with a woman that isn't me, Jack? How could you!?" I asked. Jack looked down at his feet.
"Who was she!?" I asked. Jack looked back up at me and closed the distance between us. His lips were on mine in a flash, his left hand on my cheek. The kiss was forceful, like he was sorry, but couldn't say he was. Of course, I kissed back, but when I realized what he'd done to me, I broke the kiss and shoved him backwards.
"That's not gonna fix anything, Jack! I'm done!" I yelled. I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. Did I really just break up with him again? I turned around and looked up at the ceiling, my hands on my head.
"Rebecca," Jack said.
"Shut up!" I yelled as I turned around, storming over to him and pushing his chest. He only stumbled and grabbed my wrists, holding them in front of my chest.
"I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I yelled as I struggled to free my wrists from his grasp. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled away from him. I was sobbing again; of course I was. I removed myself from the other's arms only to fall back to the floor. I was now sitting on my legs.
I ran my clammy hands back through my hair again. How could I go from being engaged to single that fast? How come it was possible? I did nothing to deserve it in the first place. It was all Jordan's fault, and if Jack had believed me, we'd be fine. Maybe if I hadn't left, we'd be fine. But no, things didn't work that way.
I stood back up, and I walked back over to Jack. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him close as he wrapped his own arms around my waist.
"I love you, Rebecca. I didn't mean it. I promise. It meant nothing to me... and I wish I could take back what I did. I didn't even like her, Becca. I love you, baby," Jack said. I knew he was crying, and I could hear the sincerity in his words.
"Who was she?" I asked.
"It was Lisa," Jack replied, and a pang of anger hit me like a freight train. How could do that!? Lisa; an old best friend, Alex's ex, and one of my now enemies.
"I wish I could forgive you, Jack," I said, keeping my anger controlled.
"Why?" He asked. He knew it was a stupid question, but it was one of those questions that needed to be asked.
"Because. You slept with a woman that I hate, that you hate, that Alex once dated, and that's wrong. You know it is," I said, finally stepping out of the embrace, for I was sweaty and hot.
"But I love you," Jack whispered, pulling me in for another kiss. This one was different than the last. It wasn't forceful, it was passionate. Jack meant what he said; I know. The kiss proved it. But just because someone's being honest doesn't mean that forgiving them is the answer. Maybe that's what Jack thought yesterday.
When I pulled away finally, I rested my forehead on his.
"Jack. We cannot be together. I can't forgive you," I said, my eyes closed and words honest.
"I understand. I'll just... leave," he muttered. He left me standing there with my eyes closed. When I opened them, Jack was gone. I turned around and looked at Alex who wouldn't meet my eyes, same with Zack.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," I muttered. I walked down the hall and into Alex's bathroom. I shut the door and flicked on the lights, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a wreck. My hair was fucked up from me running my hands through it, my eyes were puffy and red, my whole face was red, my makeup was terribly smudged... I looked wretched.
I turned the cold water on, and I splashed my face a few times. I was still extremely hot. I got my arms wet as well, because the water felt good on my hot skin. I did this until I was cooled down a significant amount before drying my arms and face on the hand towel that was hanging next to the counter.
I exited the bathroom and returned to the living room. I placed myself next to Alex and sighed. This shit was not fun.
~~A month later~~
I was in my apartment. I hadn't been feeling well lately, but I didn't want to go to the doctor even though I knew I should.
The guys of All Time Low are on tour for the next six months, not like I care. I've only been talking to Zack. He comforted me when I needed it, and he talks to Jackie from time to time.
When my stomach started to do flips again, I decided 'fuck it.' I grabbed my car keys, and I told Jackie to come with me, and I lead her out to the car.
The drive to the doctor wasn't long; about fifteen minutes. I let Jackie out, and she latched onto my hand as we made our way inside. I walked up to the front desk and scheduled myself an appointment, then I had to fill out a form while I waited for my doctor.
"Rebecca?" I stood up and picked Jackie up, and I followed the woman back to a room. I sat down on the bench, placing Jackie next to me, and I told my doctor what was wrong.
"Well, Rebecca... I can't be too sure, but it sounds to me like you're pregnant. Have you had sex in the past two months?" She asked. I froze and nodded.
"That could definitely be the case. Would you mind if I took an ultrasound?" She asked. I shook my head, and Jackie and I followed her to an ultrasound room.
When the cold jelly was spread on my stomach, she looked around with the instrument while looking at the screen.
"Aha! There we are! Congratulations, Rebecca!" She exclaimed. I had to contain a groan. I was pregnant with Jack's baby. She cleaned the jelly off, and Jackie and I left the room after I scheduled another ultrasound appointment in three weeks. I paid, then we left, heading back to my apartment.
I immediately Skyped Zack, and he answered my call with a smile. But the smile disappeared when he noticed a tear fall down my face.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I need to talk to Jack," I whimpered, "It's important." Zack nodded and called for him, and eventually, Jack was sitting in front of me with a concerned look on his face.
"What's up?" He asked.
"I have something to tell you," I said with a sniff.
"What's that?" Jack asked.
"I'm pregnant."
"C'mon, get up. If you want, you can shower before we head out," Zack said. I rubbed the sleep out of my swollen eyes, and I sat up. I looked at Zack and frowned.
"Do I have to?" I asked. Unfortunately, Zack nodded, and he pulled me up and into his arms, hugging me.
"Well, if I have to, let's get it over with," I muttered as I stepped out of the embrace. Zack lead me to the door, and he got in his car while I got in mine. The drive wasn't long, but it seemed long. I was seriously dreading seeing Jack, especially since he accused me of cheating on him, but Lord knows I'd never do that. Ever.
So, when I pulled into the driveway, I waited for Zack to get out of his car before getting out of my own. I went as slow as possible, but eventually I was standing in the driveway next to Zack.
"Remember, I'm only here for moral support," Zack said. I nodded, took a deep breath, and trudged up to the front door. I turned the handle on the door and pushed, finding the door unlocked. Zack followed me in and closed the door behind him as I entered the house fully.
"Jack?" I asked, realizing how quiet I was.
"Jack!?" I called, louder this time as I looked around the empty living room, expecting movement. I looked back at Zack who was standing by the door, making no means to move. I looked at the stairs and walked towards them, and I slowly climbed them. I walked down the hallway and entered our room, slowly and silently pushing the door open.
I stepped inside the room fully, eyes landing on a sheet covered mass in the middle of the bed. I quietly approached and got a good look. It was Jack and- oh God. I covered my mouth with my right hand and backed out of the room. I left the door ajar and turned around, entering Jackie's room. She was sitting on her bed, coloring book in her lap. She looked up at me and smiled.
"Hi mommy," she said with smile.
"C'mon baby. We're leaving," I said. She closed her coloring book and got off the bed, grabbing my hand. I lead her downstairs to where Zack was waiting, and I let go of Jackie's hand, only to take my ring off and set it gently on the coffee table. I then picked Jackie up, and the three of us left with no words.
~~
"Woah! Hold up, Rebecca!" Alex exclaimed.
"What!?" I asked bitterly through my tears, "I saw it with my own eyes, Alex! He slept with her!" I was a sobbing mess on Alex's couch. Zack had driven to Alex's house, and I had followed in my car.
"Did you see her face?" Alex asked softly.
"No. She had brown hair. That's all I saw," I muttered. I was aware of Alex's hand on my back, slowly massaging to try and calm me down. Zack was sitting across from Alex and I, his head in his hands. Jackie was in another room with Stephanie so she didn't have to see me break down.
"Alex!" I sobbed, leaning into him, "I love him, Alex!" I completely broke down right there. I sobbed, quickly losing my breath, causing me to take deep breaths between each sob. Alex pulled me into his arms, and I wrapped my arms around his neck as I buried my face in the crook of his neck.
"Shh. It'll be okay, Rebecca," Alex whispered in my ear. Since I had a tendency to pull on things or dig my nails into things when I sobbed, I accidentally dug my nails into his neck.
"No it won't!" I cried. I removed my arms from around his neck and stood up. I only wanted comfort from Jack, but that was totally out of the question. I sunk to the floor after stepping away from Alex, and I continued to sob. They were becoming uncontrollable, and it was becoming difficult to get myself under control.
"Mommy?" Jackie's soft voice echoed around the room. I looked up at her, and she ran over to me and into my arms. I held her tightly in my arms, my right hand on the back of her head, my left placed on her back. Her arms were around my neck, and she hugged me tightly.
"I love you, mommy. I think that whatever happened will be okay," she said, her small voice quiet in my ear.
"I love you too, baby girl," I said through rib-racking sobs. Jackie and I sat there together for a while. I couldn't put my finger on how long, but it felt like an hour, maybe two. But during that time, I had significantly calmed down. When I pulled away from Jackie, I set her on the floor and I rubbed my itchy eyes.
"Can I call Jack and ask him over?" Alex asked. I sighed.
"Might as well," I grumbled. Jackie crawled back into my lap, and she hugged me again. I rubbed her back for a few minutes before letting Steph take her back into the kitchen. Jack arrived about ten minutes later. I was just sitting on the floor, staring at the carpet in front of me.
"What the fuck do you guys want?" Jack asked bitterly as he entered the house. I looked up at him, but he wasn't looking up. He was looking at something in his hand; my ring. When he looked up, his eyes met mine first. I mustered up a glare and I sent it his way.
"She told us what happened, Jack," Alex said, standing up and approaching his best friend.
"Whatever she told you was probably a fucking lie. Why was your ring on the coffee table!?" Jack asked, stepping closer to me. I flinched and scooted backwards until I hit the chair Zack was sitting in.
"Jack," I muttered, rubbing my temples. I stood up and approached him, stopping about a foot in front of him.
"What I told them was the truth. What I told you yesterday was the truth. But apparently you can't accept the truth! Sleeping with a woman that isn't me, Jack? How could you!?" I asked. Jack looked down at his feet.
"Who was she!?" I asked. Jack looked back up at me and closed the distance between us. His lips were on mine in a flash, his left hand on my cheek. The kiss was forceful, like he was sorry, but couldn't say he was. Of course, I kissed back, but when I realized what he'd done to me, I broke the kiss and shoved him backwards.
"That's not gonna fix anything, Jack! I'm done!" I yelled. I ran my hands through my hair and took a deep breath. Did I really just break up with him again? I turned around and looked up at the ceiling, my hands on my head.
"Rebecca," Jack said.
"Shut up!" I yelled as I turned around, storming over to him and pushing his chest. He only stumbled and grabbed my wrists, holding them in front of my chest.
"I hate you! I fucking hate you!" I yelled as I struggled to free my wrists from his grasp. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled away from him. I was sobbing again; of course I was. I removed myself from the other's arms only to fall back to the floor. I was now sitting on my legs.
I ran my clammy hands back through my hair again. How could I go from being engaged to single that fast? How come it was possible? I did nothing to deserve it in the first place. It was all Jordan's fault, and if Jack had believed me, we'd be fine. Maybe if I hadn't left, we'd be fine. But no, things didn't work that way.
I stood back up, and I walked back over to Jack. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him close as he wrapped his own arms around my waist.
"I love you, Rebecca. I didn't mean it. I promise. It meant nothing to me... and I wish I could take back what I did. I didn't even like her, Becca. I love you, baby," Jack said. I knew he was crying, and I could hear the sincerity in his words.
"Who was she?" I asked.
"It was Lisa," Jack replied, and a pang of anger hit me like a freight train. How could do that!? Lisa; an old best friend, Alex's ex, and one of my now enemies.
"I wish I could forgive you, Jack," I said, keeping my anger controlled.
"Why?" He asked. He knew it was a stupid question, but it was one of those questions that needed to be asked.
"Because. You slept with a woman that I hate, that you hate, that Alex once dated, and that's wrong. You know it is," I said, finally stepping out of the embrace, for I was sweaty and hot.
"But I love you," Jack whispered, pulling me in for another kiss. This one was different than the last. It wasn't forceful, it was passionate. Jack meant what he said; I know. The kiss proved it. But just because someone's being honest doesn't mean that forgiving them is the answer. Maybe that's what Jack thought yesterday.
When I pulled away finally, I rested my forehead on his.
"Jack. We cannot be together. I can't forgive you," I said, my eyes closed and words honest.
"I understand. I'll just... leave," he muttered. He left me standing there with my eyes closed. When I opened them, Jack was gone. I turned around and looked at Alex who wouldn't meet my eyes, same with Zack.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," I muttered. I walked down the hall and into Alex's bathroom. I shut the door and flicked on the lights, and I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked like a wreck. My hair was fucked up from me running my hands through it, my eyes were puffy and red, my whole face was red, my makeup was terribly smudged... I looked wretched.
I turned the cold water on, and I splashed my face a few times. I was still extremely hot. I got my arms wet as well, because the water felt good on my hot skin. I did this until I was cooled down a significant amount before drying my arms and face on the hand towel that was hanging next to the counter.
I exited the bathroom and returned to the living room. I placed myself next to Alex and sighed. This shit was not fun.
~~A month later~~
I was in my apartment. I hadn't been feeling well lately, but I didn't want to go to the doctor even though I knew I should.
The guys of All Time Low are on tour for the next six months, not like I care. I've only been talking to Zack. He comforted me when I needed it, and he talks to Jackie from time to time.
When my stomach started to do flips again, I decided 'fuck it.' I grabbed my car keys, and I told Jackie to come with me, and I lead her out to the car.
The drive to the doctor wasn't long; about fifteen minutes. I let Jackie out, and she latched onto my hand as we made our way inside. I walked up to the front desk and scheduled myself an appointment, then I had to fill out a form while I waited for my doctor.
"Rebecca?" I stood up and picked Jackie up, and I followed the woman back to a room. I sat down on the bench, placing Jackie next to me, and I told my doctor what was wrong.
"Well, Rebecca... I can't be too sure, but it sounds to me like you're pregnant. Have you had sex in the past two months?" She asked. I froze and nodded.
"That could definitely be the case. Would you mind if I took an ultrasound?" She asked. I shook my head, and Jackie and I followed her to an ultrasound room.
When the cold jelly was spread on my stomach, she looked around with the instrument while looking at the screen.
"Aha! There we are! Congratulations, Rebecca!" She exclaimed. I had to contain a groan. I was pregnant with Jack's baby. She cleaned the jelly off, and Jackie and I left the room after I scheduled another ultrasound appointment in three weeks. I paid, then we left, heading back to my apartment.
I immediately Skyped Zack, and he answered my call with a smile. But the smile disappeared when he noticed a tear fall down my face.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"I need to talk to Jack," I whimpered, "It's important." Zack nodded and called for him, and eventually, Jack was sitting in front of me with a concerned look on his face.
"What's up?" He asked.
"I have something to tell you," I said with a sniff.
"What's that?" Jack asked.
"I'm pregnant."
Notes
Chapter Fifty!
Title Cred: Kansas
DRAMA OH MY LORDY. WHOOOOO! I hope you enjoy, and I'm sorry I broke them up. Oops.
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3/30/15