Trigger warning: mention of self harm.

Alex's POV:

I was sat in last period with Jack in front of me. He kept turning around and smiling at me. Deep down, I was still fucking fuming with Jack. I mean, you can't be a dick to someone one day and kiss them the next! I drifted off for the rest of the lesson, day-dreaming about all the cute little dates that Jack and I could possibly go on in the future. Oh well, a boy can dream. My mind wandered off to Jack, himself. The way his hair hangs over his eyes slightly, his booming laugh that more contagious than a common cold, his goody smile that can lighten up a thunder storm, his big nose that just suits his angular face, his lanky body that walks awkwardly but so cute at the same time. It's just him in general. I know I won't be able to stay mad at him for much longer. I just want to feel his lips on mine again. I want to be able to kiss whenever I pleased, I want to call him mine.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the bell ringing through the school. Chairs scraped on the floor and chatter filled the once silent halls.
"Come on, Lex. We've got to go to Rian's for something apparently." Jack grabbed hold of my wrist, making me hiss in pain when his hand wrapped around my still fresh cuts. Jack must have heard me and he let go.
"You okay, Lex?" I nodded and went to carry on walking but he pulled me back by my wrist, once again making me hiss.
"You didn't, ermm, do it again, did you?"
"Just shut up, Jack, okay?"
"I'll take that as a yes then, shall I?" Jack looked directly into my eyes, he knew I was lying.
"Jack, can you just shut the fuck up? What does it even matter to you even if I did?" I raised my voice slightly, gaining the attention of a few passing students.
"You know why it matters, Lex. Come on, Rian will be waiting for us...and we're talking about this later." Jack let go of my wrist and turned towards the main doors, gesturing for me to follow.

Rian was waiting for us at the gates, like he said.
"Hey, Alex, you okay? You look a bit down...Jack, what did you do?" He said, sighing.
"I didn't do anything," Rian and Jack started walking, I followed behind them like a lost puppy. "Rian, he did it again. I caused it. It's my fault." I heard Jack's voice crack...
"I know he did, Jack, but honestly? Can you blame him? You did kiss him last night...and when he ran you didn't go after him. Maybe he just needed to know that you weren't fucking with his emotions, prove that to him tonight."
I coughed, interrupting their little conversation.
"I am still here, you know?"
"Sorry" They both said in unison. We soon launched into conversation about bands and Mark Hoppus' latest tweets- which are hilarious.

-

We'd been at Rian's for a few hours now and we were all talking and getting along fine, almost as if Jack and had always been friends. I liked how we all got on, Rian was extremely funny and Jack was just an idiot, but the loveable kind. Rian had ordered Pizza and had just gone out to collect it...leaving Jack and I alone.
"Alex, please, I really am so sorry. I know it was my fault that you did that to yourself and I can't even begin to explain how sorry I truly am. Can I...can I see? Your arm, I mean. I want to understand so I can help you."
I could see his eyes glossed over with tears and he bit his lip in an attempt to stop his tears falling. It failed. One tear slipped out and ran down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away, blushed and looked down.
"I'm so sorry, Lex." He started sobbing. I scooted over to where he was sat and wrapped my arms around him. I held him to my chest and let him sob. He kept choking out sob-riddled apologies.
"Don't cry, Jay." Jay? Where did that come from? "It's not your fault. I did this to myself, not you."
"But if I hadn't have been a dick to you, we would've been friends from the start and you wouldn't have had to do such a horrible thing to yourself." I hadn't realised that Jack had started to push my sleeve up as I held him, revealing my cur up arm. "Lex, lo-look at yourself. I'm s-surprised you d-didn't pass out from how m-much blood you must have lo-lost, no wonder you look p-pale. I'm s-so fucking sorry." I turned and look at my arm. My flesh was littered with raised scabs, some a little more swollen than the rest. They were criss-crossed over each other and jagged. Some had bled a little throughout the course of the day, leaving a little smeared blood on my arm. It looked a mess.
"I did this though, Jay. You didn't tell me to. I shouldn't have ran off last night, and I'm sorry for that but my head was a mess. I hated you but I liked you. I wanted more but I also wanted you to stop. I didn't know what to do...I didn't know what I wanted so I did what I've always done: I ran. I ran away from my problems, like I always do. Please stop crying, it doesn't suit you." His head bolted up from my chest, leaving a huge wet patch on my shirt from where he'd been crying.
"Y-you really mean that?"
"Oh course, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't. Can I just...can I just try something?" He looked confused for a minute but them caught on to what I was trying to do. He nodded and smiled his trademark smile, his eyes getting that spark back. Jack was still sat in my lap, his arms around my waist. I lifted my hands up to cup his jaw, I was shaking slightly and my breathing quickened. I looked into Jack's eyes, they were so beautiful. It know it's a very cliché thing to say but I could get lost in them forever. I leaned in and so our lips were touching but not pressed together.
"I've been wanting to do this since last night." I mumbled against his lips, still staring into his eyes. I pushed our lips together and let my eyes flutter shut. He immediately moved his lips against mine, pressing back with the same amount of pressure. The butterflies were there again and I felt like a thousand fireworks were going off behind my eyelids. This felt amazing and it was certainly something I could get used to. I felt Jack's tongue glide across my lower lip, asking for entrance, which I granted. Our tongues collided and we immediately started to explore each other's mouths. Jack had moved his hands to my hair, one hand at the base of my neck twirling the little strands between his fingers, the other lightly pulling on my fringe, which he had shoved off my forehead and had wrapped around his fingers. Jack licked the roof of my mouth, causing me to moan into the kiss. I was getting short of breath but I didn't care. I wanted this, I needed it. I needed Jack. I moved one of my hands to his lower back and pushed him closer to me. I felt Jack grind down onto my crotch, making me moan and my growing bulge grow harder. Jack chuckled and did it again. This had gone from crying to a full in make-out session in a matter of minutes.

We both jumped apart when Rian burst through the door with Zack in tow. They looked at us with hitched eyebrows and a smirk on their faces.
"You owe me a twenty, Rian. I told you there were making out." Zack turned around and walked downstairs, yelling that the pizza was here.
"You didn't do anything in my bed, did you?" The smirk evident through his voice. Jack and I looked at the ground and shook our heads to answer no. "Good. Right, pizza." He clapped his hands and turned around to head downstairs. "Come on, Jack. Oh and, Alex?" Rian appeared round the door again. "You might want to...um...bathroom." With that, he spun on his heel and ran down the stairs. I heard Jack stifle a laugh. I looked up at him. His face was cherry red and he was quietly chuckling.
"What you chuckling at?"
"Trousers, Lex."
"Huh? Wha- oh..."
"I think it's cute." I felt my cheeks heat up even more.
"I think it's fucking embarrassing." I stood up and headed to the bathroom, my boner rubbing against my jeans didn't help matters so I sort of waddled there. I head Jack laugh some more. "Not a fucking word, Barakat." It was harsh but he knew I was joking.
"Want me to come and...give you a hand in there?"
"Maybe some other day." I winked at him and walked out of the room, but not before catching Jack turn bright red in the corner of my eye.

Notes

Heyy,
I'm actually quite proud of this chapter...idk

Thank you for reading. I'll probably update again tonight.
Em x