This Ones Different

*Alex POV*

I sat in the corner of the waiting room for what felt like eternity! No one has come to tell to Jack is okay and I’m starting to worry. I sat there in the corner trying not to burst out in tears. My best friend just tried to commit suicide, what kind of person does that! Not only to themselves but to the people around them! Jack is such a special person, why on earth would he waste his life on suicide? It’s not like it was always going to be like this, it can’t rain forever. I’m so worried about losing Jack.

“I-I’m so sorry” Jacks voice played in my head over and over again. Hearing him apologize is so hard, it’s so hard to hear that and not cry. Jack shouldn’t be sorry; he shouldn’t be the one apologizing I should! I’m the one who started all this, I’m the one kept calling him. I’m the one who wasn’t fast enough. I could have stopped him from falling. I shouldn’t have let that lady go before me at that stop sign, I should have woken up earlier, this is all my fault.

My eyes started to water and I could feel tears resting on my lower lashes. I blinked and the tear rolled down my cheek. I pulled my knees up and softly cried into my knees wrapping my arms around my head. My chest felt heavy & suddenly, everything wasn't okay anymore. I wanted to scream. I didn't want to think about Jack, but that’s all that’s on my mind.

How is someone expected to live like this? ‘Oh your best friend just died and you still have to continue on in life like it never happen and you never knew them’

When someone dies its like you erase them from your memory, only to remember them on certain occasions. It is sad and it shouldn’t be like that, you don’t want to think about them because it makes you sad and it makes you sad because when they were still here, they were the ones who made you happy. And now you have no one.

I felt someone tap my shoulder, I looked up and it was Katie. I shot up out of my chair and grabbed her by her shoulders
“Is Jack okay?! Is he dead!? Please tell me he isn’t dead!”
She gave me a sympathetic look, which can never bee good…. No one gives out that look unless someone just died. Jacks FUCKING DEAD!
“We don’t know yet”
What do you mean you don’t fucking know, it’s your job to know if he is okay and if he isn’t its still your job to make him okay. Stop wasting your time telling me you don’t know and FUCKING HELP JACK!
“We have to do a check up on you”
Why on earth is she worrying about me when Jack is dying in the next room?!?
“W-why me?”
“You were in the waters the same amount of time Jack was, I need to check yu for hypothermia and other basic stuff”
“But what about Ja-“
“Jack will be just fine, there are many doctors doing all they can”

I nodded, Katie led me down a hall way and into a room, She open the door for me and I thanked her. I sat down on the table with my legs hanging over the edge. I’m trying so hard not to cry, I don’t like crying in front of people. I wiped my eyes before any tears escaped, Katie handed me a cup of warm water. She has been so nice to me, I guess that’s her job?
“now I need to know exactly what you did so I can give you a helpful check up”
I shook my head I really never want to remember this day ever. Katie sat down in a chair in font of me. “Please Alex, I need to see if you’re alright” I sighed “I’m not alright! I won’t be alright until Jack is! If he’s not okay then I’m not okay!” I wiped my eyes “there is nothing to say, I jumped off the bridge and swam around.” Katie nodded and wrote on a piece of paper. “Why are you focusing on me? I’m obviously fine” Katie looked up and gave me a puzzling look “You just told me you weren’t”

“Why are you focusing one me? Stop caring about me Jack is the one who needs your help! I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself! He isn’t! I don’t care if its your job. Your job id to help people, now help Jack!!” Katie stood up and put the clipboard down. “Alex, calm down” I threw my hands up “Calm down!!?” Tears were streaming down my face “How can I calm down when my best friend is dying because of me!?”

“Alex it wasn’t your fault, if you need someone to talk to I’m right here.” Katie’s voice was slow and calm. I wiped my eyes again. “Alex I know how you feel” I stood up off the table I was sitting on. “HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I’M FEELING!?” I yelled in Katie’s face. She slammed her hand down on the table “BECAUSE IT HAPPEN TO ME!” Katie slamming her hand down scared me and I sat back down on the table.

“So if anyone understands it’s me, I have lost more people than I count. I know what its like to have a shitty life” I looked down at my knees “I’m sorry”
Katie sat down next to me “No need to be sorry I’m happy now, I’m helping people”
“No, I mean sorry about the people you lost” Katie looked down “oh…”
I looked over at her “So how did you get through it?” She shrugged her shoulder
“Honesty I don’t know, I sort of stopped revolving my life around useless sadness and drama. I saw the bigger picture in life and I learned that I have yo deal what life throws at me. Life doesn’t put you through more than you can handle.” Katie put her arm around me
“So once again Alex, if you need anyone to talk to I’m here.”

“I don’t know what to say, Jack is my life, he is my best friend, I just found out” I laughed at what I was about to say “I just figured out that, I love him. More than a friend, I found out he loved me too, has for many years. I don’t know just one day I realized that maybe it was wrong, I flipped out. I end up hurting Jack in the end. I lied to him.”

Katie took her arm off from around me. “What did you lie about?”

“He told me to kiss him one last time and if I didn’t feel anything it would all be over. So I kissed him, I felt everything sparks, fire, earthquake! When he asked me if I felt anything….. I lied to him. Then when he confronted me I stormed off. Jack kept calling me but I would listen” I sighed and shook my head “God I wished I listen to him”

“S-so how did Jack end up on that bridge?”

“He ran off shortly after; I guess he didn’t want to see me. I kept calling him and all it did was fuck with his emotions even more. Then… He snapped. He yelled at me and said” I sniffled

The memory of what Jack said hurts… I never want to see you again I fucking hate you!.
I get it he hates me but to add on top of that… I-I’m Sorry…

“He said he hated me and that he never wanted to see me ever again. I guess that hurt him more than it hurt me, I knew he didn’t mean it. So I found Jack and the lady said he asked for directions to the bridge. The whole ride there I was trying to convince myself he only went there for a drive, or-or maybe to clear his thoughts I was desperately hoping that what I was thinking wasn’t really going to happen, Th-that it was all me thinking the worse, you know?.. …. When I got t-there”

I collapsed lightly crying in my hands resting my elbows on my knees to hold my self up.
Katie was shushing rubbing my back up and down trying to calm down
“Oh baby, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want.If I were you, I'd put that away See, you're just wasting your energy thinking 'bout the past again, Darling you'll be okay ” I sniffled and sat up blinking my tears away.

“It’s just, when I say Jack in the ledge. I froze, I couldn’t move I-I couldn’t speak. It was like my worst nightmare was coming true and I froze I couldn’t do anything”

“Do you think that’s why Jack didn’t swim? His worse nightmare was coming true and he became paralyzed with fear?”

“I don’t know, I just want him to be okay.”
“I bet he is”
“What do you mean?” Katie smiled at me
“Why don’t you go see him yourself?” I opened my eyes wide in disbelief “Really?!” Katie smiled and nodded “He is in room 403, two doors down on the left”
I stood up and kissed Katie on the cheek. “Thank you”

I walked out the door and power walked down the hall way. 407, 405, 403!!

I busted through the door “JAC-“ I stopped dead in my tracks.

Jack was laying on the hospital bed with as tube in his mouth and wires going into his arms. There were also wires going down his shirt and connected to a heart monitor. A slow steady heart beep on a heart beat reading echoed the room.

I slowly walked next to the bed and took Jacks hand. I started crying and kissed his hand. I let go and pulled up a seat right next to him, I looked him up and down, wiping the tears away and sniffling I took Jacks hand once more. I could barely breathe. I fought to have a voice, it was like it disappeared, a lump stuck in my throat all I could get out was a croaked whisper.

“J-Jack…”

Notes

Katie is fucking amazing! right? She is awesome. I just wan to thank everyone for the comments and the views and the LOVELY subscribers!! (Katie i love you!)
sorry i havent updated in a while!! i am sorta grounded. I was only meant to use my laptop for school work and my mom caught me watching supertatural. ( if you stay up all night watching supernatural.... make sure to close your lap top and not fall alseep with head phones in and it right infront of your face. also make sure to hide your phone and not post shit on IG....)
SO ILL TRY TO UPDte the best I CAN!!
make sure to leave all your comments down in the RAPE DUNGEON!! Rate and Subscribe! love you !