This Ones Different

*Alex POV*

Jacky: Please come home, I miss you

I was laying on the couch, Jack wont answer my calls, he wont answer my texts and if he dose pick up my calls its only for 5 seconds just to tell me to leave him alone. Jack is really starting to worry me. I don’t want to gave Jacks feelings eat him alive, he can’t leave me damn it! I shouldn’t have lied to him, now he doesn’t believe a word I say! ­You lie to someone once and they don’t trust you ever again! He needs to know that I’m not lying; I need to show Jack I truly do live him. How? He is somewhere and I’m at home. How am I going to show him I love him if I don’t even know where he is? I can’t take this to the police because he isn’t missing. I can’t call it a run away because he is 18. I am totally screwed! I love Jack; I can’t just tell I love him after I said I didn’t. I probably really messing his head and his heart. I want him home with me, I’m begging for him to come home. Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading. I am telling Jack I love him and that I want him back, but maybe I’m just beating him up because I’m toying with his heart? So sick out of all this needless beating. Maybe I should stay away for a little bit? I refuse to let go I’m not going to loose him! Frank told me it gets better and I believe him. I’m sick of sitting here worried about Jack; I just want to know where he is and when he plans on coming home. I feel like I loved him and left. OH NO! I hope jack doesn’t think of our week together as like a one week stand or something! God I don’t want Jack thinking I used him because of what happen with me and Lisa! I really enjoyed my time with Jack; I didn’t use his love as a way to hide from the pain Lisa brought upon me.

I really hope Jack doesn’t think I used him, I don’t know. I don’t even know what I freaked out on him; we had everything going so perfectly. I guess my brain just had a red alert? I just got out of a really bad relationship and I was getting really close to Jack. Jack should have listened to Rian, I did hurt him. Why did I randomly say everything was wrong? Everything was perfect and I messed it all up! I just want to run to the beach and have bulimic seagulls eat me, and then those seagulls fly to Jack and puke up on him. At least then I’ll be with Jack right?

I need to find where Jack is before he does something stupid. I called his parents, Zack, Rian, Joe, May, Alexis! He isn’t anywhere! I’m starting to think that Jack isn’t going to anyone’s house because he doesn’t want me to find him. Jack can’t just sleep in his car this whole time! He said he will be gone for a couple days. Shaun isn’t helping me look for him because doesn’t want to ‘go against Jack’s wishes’! If Jack does anything stupid I will kill him…. Well I would kill myself then kill angel Jack.

Just must feel horrible, he probably thinks I used him! I would run away too if the person I have been madly in love with for years told me they felt the same, used me, and lied to me. I understand why Jack ran away. What I don’t understand is why he won’t listen to me! I do love him; he just needed to give me time to think! I couldn’t make that big decision that quickly, especially under presser! Why does he expect so much from me?

I’m going to call him one last time!

*Ring, Rings*
“Alex leave me alone! Can’t you see I don’t want to talk to you? You have hurt me so badly that I never want to see you ever again! I FUCKING HATE YOU!”
~end calll~

He hates me? He never wants to see me again?

“Sooo… ummm… D-did….Did you feel anything?” Jack asked awkwardly, Tell him the truth Alex! Don’t you fucking lie to him because bad things happen when you lie!

I looked into Jacks eyes, they were so beautiful. His beautiful brown doe eyes, I could stare at them for hours. I looked deep into Jacks eyes; they were sparkling full of love, passion, Lust.

I cleared my throat, this is always awkward. Tell him the god damn truth or I will murder you!

“Nope.” I replied flatly, popping the ‘P’. YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! YOU JUST POPED YOUR P IN HIS FACE LIKE AN ASS! YOU SIR ARE AN ASS! NO SIR I HAVE YOU A CHANCE TO TELL THE TRUTH AND YOU STILL LIED! DIE SIR, DIE!


“Really?” Jack coked an eyebrow

“Yes Jack really, I’m sorry” NO NOT REALLY!

“Huh, that funny because I think your fucking boner says different”

“Shit” DON’T YOU FUCKING LIE ALEX!

“See Alex you DID feel something, its okay me too! Alex it’s totally okay! It’s Love-“

“Don’t fucking give me your love speech again!” IF HE WANTS TO GIVE YOU THE SPEACK HE WILL! YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT SHIT BAG!

“Alex but… But I love you!”

“If you love me let me go!” DON’T YOU TELL HIM TO DO THAT BECAUSE HE WILL!

“Alex do you fucking hear yourself right now!? We are perfect for each other! I am yours and you are mine!”

“Because Jack its wrong!”

“I don’t fucking care! I should have to- WE shouldn’t have to suffer because something is ‘wrong’! It’s so wrong its right!”

“Jack it isn’t that simple!” YOU idiot just fucking shut up at this point!

“Lex do you hear yourself right now? You sound like a lunatic! I love you but I can’t be with you because its said ‘wrong’ does any of that sound right?”

“I never said I love you.” That was cold!! YOU DO TO LOVE HIM!

“Oh Just stop it Lex!” Jack pinned my hips against the wall and started kissing, I just sank into the kiss. Jack pulled away.

“Pathetic” I pushed Jack off of me.!

I jumped off the couch yelling at myself! “YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHY COUOLDNT YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! That’s if I’m going to find Jack and fucking confront him! I have tired the GPS in his phone, he turned it off. How else can I find him? I’m not going to tract the car’s plates what’s left? …… HIS CREDIT CARD!!!

I went into Jacks laptop and went into his online back account

Password…. Umm shit what is Jack’s pass word? Umm. Oh I got it! SuckaFuckTitty123.

Hell yeah I’m in! Wow Jack nice password! I went into Jacks credit history.

Blah blah food yeah work, rent, work, rent. Maybe I should go into withdraws.
Rent, rent, rent, rent, AH HA

Days Inn Baltimore South/Glen Burnie
6600 Ritchie Hwy
Glen Burnie, MD 21061

Hell yeah! I found him! I goggled earthed the motel Jack was staying in. It was near the Baltimore bay. I’ll go drive to him tomorrow! Jacky you better get some good sleep because you’re coming home!



*Jack POV*

I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night. I kept thinking about Alex and crying. I can’t believe I just told him I hated him! My chest tightened and my lungs constricted, making it almost impossible for me to breathe suddenly. I was choking on the overwhelming feeling of guilt and regret as the truth slowly sunk in. I told him I hate him.

My eyes widened in horror and my vision suddenly became blurred, what if he thinks I meant it? “Alex,” I choked out in despair, the tears starting to stream down my face. “Oh my God... W-what have I done? I- I’m so sorry! Alex I didn’t mean it!” I was crying out for him, I knew he couldn’t hear me. What’s said has been said.
There was nothing I could say to change what I'd done. I'd giveanything to be able to go back in time. I didn’t mean to do it… I don’t even know what the fuck came over me. I lost control in the worst way possible. And now I’ve surely lost my best friend and the man I love.

My heart was beating so fast it felt like it was seconds away from beating itself into oblivion.
And I actually wished it would. I could never forgive myself for what I just did to him. I despised myself for losing control like that.

“I never meant to hurt you like this… Fuck, I’m so sorry,” I spoke in barely more than a strained whisper, sobbing heavily.
Even though I knew sorry didn't change a goddamn thing, I couldn't stop saying it. Alex isn’t even here to hear my apologize!

I hardly expected him to speak to me ever again. I knew that I just destroyed him, myself and everything we had. This time it really is over.

“I don't blame you if you never want to see me again. Don’t worry, you won’t have to… Nobody will,” I struggled to say in an uneven and shaky voice as my airways started becoming very restricted. “I promise.”

It was a promise that I’ll make it stop; I’ll take the pain away… I’ll disappear so I can never hurt him again.

The tears rolled down my cheeks like razorblades as I stumbled towards the door, leaving my heart. All that came with me, and would always be with me, were all my devastating mistakes; they would haunt me to my death.

I walked over to the lady at the front desk; I had a fake smile on my face.
“Hello sir, how can I help you today?”
“Hi, I was wondering if you could give me directions to the Francis Scott Key Bridge.”
“Of course,” the lady smiled and wrote down some directions down. She handed them to me “Here you go sir. Have a nice day. I nodded “You too” I got in my car and started crying. I drove the whole way there crying thinking about Alex. I could never forgive myself for what I have done. I can’t run away fro love so the best thing to do is stop it.

I stopped at the beginning of the bridge and got out of my car. I walked onto the bridge and got up on the ledge. The bridge was closed and the workers where on the other end of the long bridge. They can’t see or stop me from what I’m about to do. I climbed a little higher in the bridge. I stood on a beam holding a pole to keep my balance.

I can’t believe I’m about to do this, I can’t stop now. I love Alex; I can’t believe I’m doing this. I’m going to hurt him so badly. I can’t, I can’t do this. I’m only fucking 18! My life just started I can’t end it now. Maybe I can? I’m so torn! I really don’t want to do this. I now I shouldn’t. I’m already here, why am I even here? I looked down staring at the water beneath me. “NO DON’T JUMP!” What? I looked up
“JACK PLEASE NO! I turned around and saw Alex running towards me.

Hanging on your every breath like a bird without its wings, I float through the sticky air from a post spring rain. Your words are warm against my neck and your aura radiates, meshing into mine. Crows crash violently above and water stretches for miles, turbulent and destructive- Blue as far as the eye can see and into the horizon.
Silence. Nothing but waves falling below. A southern wind blows against my backs, nudging me closer to the edge- The precipice overlooking a life laid out before me. The violent ripples of days and years yet to come. Chunks of rock and debris stretch up toward us- The petrified hands of a thousand souls lost at sea, reaching to pull us down. Like the devil on my shoulder, you lean in and whisper:
"Jump."

“NO DON’T JUMP!” What? I looked up
“JACK PLEASE NO! I turned around and saw Alex running towards me.
“ALEX?!” I yelled back “JACK PLEASE STOP!”

I turned my body around completely but lost my footing and lost my balance.
“JACK!!” my arms where moving around trying to regain my balance. I reached for the pole but did grab it in time. I fell backwards off the bridge. The last thing I hurt was a blood curdling scream! “JACK!!!!” I felt the water hit my back hard, I got the wind knocked out of me and I was quickly engulfed in the dark water.

Lex…..

Notes

Triple update? /.\ dont hate me.....(/*^*)/ He did it for the vine! I'll updatw again tomorrow. Maybe... I update way to much.. you guys should share this story with your freinds! (I have also noticed the more comments i get the faster i update. Not trying to sound like an ass but idk, i guess it just makes me feels like i have to write more.)

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