My eyes were still tear stained that Monday morning. Fucking Mondays, I was doomed in advance. I pulled on some clothes, my still wet hair from showering was dripping on my shirt, oh well. I didn't bother packing a lunch, not hungry. No one was awake to question it anyways.

I felt drained, I probably couldn't even cry if I wanted to. I was just empty. I kept replaying last nights scene in my head as I looked for my sweater, where did I put the bloody thing??

I had only minutes before the bus got here so I made a quick decision: I went into Mike's room, hoping to find his blink sweater he used to always lend me. I opened his door and my jaw dropped. It was all happening just so fast, I couldn't keep up.

His things were all gone, he'd never had much but he did have some stuff. Now the bed was made and the furniture was there but that was it, except...

My eyes found the sweater in question, it was hanging on the closet door handle next to his guitar, he left his guitar??! He fucking loved that thing! Why on earth did he leave it here? Something grabbed my attention, a note slid in between the strings.

It read:
" Alex, I know you're upset but I had to, as much as you won't want to admit it, you know it's true.
I saw some of your songs in your notebook. You can be someone Alex, you have what it takes to become known, all you need is a little push, this is me pushing you, don't waste your talent.
You'll always be my bestest little bro! :)
Ps. You wore this sweater more than I did so you might as well have it. Take good care of your new guitar.
-Mike "

I threw the note on the floor and stormed out, grabbing the sweater in the process. What? I'm angry, it doesn't mean I want to freeze. What right did he have telling me what I should do or even going through my notebooks in the first place? And saying I had a chance at this, whatever 'this' was. Was he right about me? No. There's no way, I'm not a musician, I'll never be. And guitar? I'd never touched one in my life. What the hell did any of this fucking mean??!

I didn't have time to think much longer, I got on the bus, today was gonna be a long day.

---

I reached the classroom late, Ms.Crawford didn't say anything, what was there to say?

I walked down the row of desks to mine but was caught by surprised. 'New kid' was there, sitting at MY desk. She looked at me confused but before she could say anything I pointed to the desk next to mine, the only empty one in the room. "Move."

Her eyes seemed terrified but I wasn't paying attention, I didn't want to be here and wasn't about to deal with anyone's bullshit. She stumbled out of the way carrying her stuff but forgetting her pencil case. Realizing that, she turned back around towards me while I sat down. My hand went to her case and for a moment she was about to smile, thinking I would hand it to her, she certainly assumed too much. I pushed it with the back of my hand and it landed on the floor with a loud thump. Her mouth dropped but quickly she put on a stronger facade, picking it up.

"Feckin Americans...", fucking Americans? Really? More like fucking shitty Mondays. What the hell did she have to be upset about? So it was her first day, big deal. She was probably another one of those straight-A, rich kids with a perfect family, she'd have friends in no time.

I basically spent the whole class writing in my notebook, even if I had wanted to There was no way that today I'd be able to function in class, luckily I never got called on. Thank god.

"Alright class, that's it for today," the bell rang. I got up to walk out but Ms. Crawford looked at me, "we need to talk."

I leaned on the doorframe, "well in that case, talk." I ordered. Yeah, I was in a bitchy mood.

"Look it's obvious you're upset but-"

I cut her off, giving my best fake smile, "upset? What do you mean?"

She sight, "whatever, just try and go easy on the new kid alright, for gods sakes it her first day, she's probably nervous enough as it is. I won't tolerate disrespectful behavior in my class."

She stopped me again as I walked out, I was getting annoyed. "Oh and by the way, I told her to sit there, so next time when there's a problem, deal it out with me."

"Sure." More like whatever...

---

"Hey dude, what page are we on?" A loud whisper came from behind me.

"Figure it out yourself." I answered back, not even bothering to care who was asking.

"Look, if this is about this morning... I'm sorry alright, I didn't know it was your spot. Now can you please get over it?"

Now this had caught my attention, I turned around to find the 'new girl' and for the first time I took the time to get a good look at her, what the hell is she wearing? Does she not want friends? She had on a black shirt that read 'Bullet For My Valentine' ; some band I'd never taken the time to listen to, black skinny jeans and red flats. In simple terms, she looked different. Her hair curled and practically no traces of makeup on her face, she was almost cute. Okay so she was hot, but that's besides the point, she would definitely have trouble fitting in here... That's too bad.

"Ummm..." She fidgeted uncomfortably, looking down at her hands and I realized I was still staring.
Trying my best to sound like I WAS'NT just checking her out, I told her what she wanted to know; "Page 45, try and pay attention next time eh?" I turned back around and smiled to myself, yeah, she was really cute.

---

Music is usually one of my favorite classes but today it made me feel horrible. Listening to that stupid kid with the black and blond hair made me think of my brother when he would play, I didn't want to think about him. I want out. I don't want to go home, but I sure don't want to be here either.

---

Too much has been going on today
I just want to get away.

I looked out the bus window, the sky was grey and I could feel winter closing in. I thought about all that had happened today, really, it was too much. I didn't want to deal with any of this anymore but I really didn't have a choice, so I just kept writing.

There's a look in your eye
And it's screaming "goodbye"
Now it tears me apart just to look at the sky.

When the bus finally reached my house I decided, not ready to face my parents who were probably fighting, to go at our new neighbors's house. Bob welcomed me in and lead me to the kitchen, damn it smelled good too. Maggie was working her magic in front of the stove, humming little tunes. It felt good here.

Bob scratched at his beard,"So kid, how was school?"

"Only as expected," I thought back about how I'd felt today, "it was pretty tough actually."

"How come? You look like a smart boy, can't see you having much trouble keeping good grades.."

"Well it's not so much the 'school' part of school, wow, that made like zero sense. It's more the social part ya know."
"Well I might not know much about teenagers these days but one thing I remember from back in the time is one's appetite, wanna join us for dinner?" I couldn't help but laugh a bit at his save from the conversation. He definitely helped make it less awkward.

"Oh, that would be awesome!" My enthusiasm was pretty obvious, still I remembered the rule,"I just gotta let my mom know, can I use your phone?"

"Sure," Maggie smiled and smoothed out her apron with her palms. "It's in the living room near the couch."

I thanked her and hurried to do just that, following the directions I picked up the receiver and dialed our number, I fumbled with the phone cord as I looked around the room, there were no more boxes scattered around nor was there a single speck of dust to be seen, I guess when you don't have kids it's easier to keep a house clean.

My mum finally picked up. "Where are you?" She sounded somewhere between angry and worried.Well hello to you too..

"Calm down mum, I'm at our neighbors... No I didn't have homework...Yes I'll make sure to tell them and no I won't be home late." After a few 'un-huh's and questions about the most useless things she finally let me hang up, I was just happy she didn't walk over and drag me home.

I walked back into the dinning room, "oh, by the way my mom says hi, and she was wondering if you could call her sometime tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure thing sweetie, now sit, dinner's gonna be ready in just a short bit."

---

As usual, Maggie's cooking was delightful /yes I said delightful, sue me./ we talked about whatever and just enjoyed each other's company, it felt like a real family and I loved it.
During the meal Bob and Mags talked about their day and asked me about mine, I really didn't feel like saying much but I listened intently. I learned a lot about them more during the evening and was surprised to find out that they had a granddaughter who lived with her sister just a town over. According to Maggie, me and her would get along great.
Hmmm, if only I could meet her.

Notes

A/N the second crossed out poem thing is lyrics from "Memories That Fade Like Photographs" from ATL. So yeah, not mine.