Me Without You

“Oh, look who got free.” Tay smiled as I entered the lobby of the hotel. I gave her a smile and we set off into the Manchester streets. We were walking for a good 15 minutes before we found a quiet café off the high street and settled down with a coffee. “So, how’s Jack been since Ireland?” She asked, stirring her drink.
“Good, I suppose. I think we both just needed some time apart and even that small time frame did us good. We needed a break.” I sighed, taking a sip of my macchiato.
“You will be the only couple in the world whose relationship is improved by one of you constantly being on tour.” Tay giggled and I frowned.
“That doesn’t sound healthy.” I mumbled under my breath but Tay caught wind.
“There’s nothing wrong with it, Jayse.” She began, flipping my phone over so I would stop anxiously glancing at the screen to distract myself. “You and Jack are both extremely involved with each other. If you spent 100% of your time together for too long you’ll break down like on tour. I admit that was probably an extreme case considering everything you had going on, but still. Do you see my point?” I nodded slowly, trying to process the information.
“Yeah, I get it.” I did understand, but the whole concept made me nervous. Our relationship really did seem quite rocky at times.
“Once you guys get settled after October you have time to adjust to being with each other full time before Jack leaves on tour again and the twins are born. You guys will be fine.” Tay smiled softly, trying to erase my nerves.
“But once the twins are here I’m going to have to cart two babies god knows where and god knows when so Jack can see them.” Tay burst out laughing and grabbed my hand across the table.
“Fuck that, Jack can come to you, you know? He does get days off.” I giggled at my stupidity and my instant assumption that I would be the one who would have to do all the travelling.
“Can we change the subject?” I laughed. “All I ever do with people these days is talk about Jack and the twins.” I raised an eyebrow at Tay and held my chin in my hand, my elbow propped against the table. “What about you then? Any men, Miss Jardine?” Tay instantly diverted her eyes to her drink and I was slightly offended by how she would even think about attempting to slide something past me. “Tell me who you’re crushing on or I start guessing.” I warned her and she blushed, finally bringing her attention back to me.
“I don’t think I’ve heard someone use the word crushing since 2010.” Tay laughed half-heartedly and I launched into my self-driven guessing game.
“Zack.” Tay sighed and shook her head, stirring her coffee absently.
“I love the guy, but nope. Not him.”
“Alex?” I noticed my voice go up slightly at the mention of his name. The thought of them together was positively adorable and weird at the same time. Tay’s eyes widened and I was convinced I had got it. “Second guess, go Jasey.” I congratulated myself and Tay quickly shook her head.
“No! No, no, it’s not Alex. You just took me by surprise is all. I never really thought about him like that before.” She quickly stammered out, cutting my celebration short. “It’s no one from your band.” I mulled it over and started to say Jordan’s name but the moment I got the ‘j’ sound out Tay held her hand up to me. “You dare say his name I’ll cut you. The amount of times I get asked that question is ridiculous and people should really give up on the idea.” I sat running off names of anyone I could think of for another ten minutes before Tay got frustrated. “JOHN!” She blurted out, cutting me off mid-sentence.
“Excuse me?” I knew like fifty Johns.
“John. From The Maine. John O’Callaghan.” Tay’s cheeks were bright red and I couldn’t help but feel disappointed in myself for not guessing him.
“How did I not get that?” Tay smiled shyly and downed the remaining sips of her second coffee.
“You’re losing your touch, Jayse.” I shot her a look as left a couple of bills on the table before grabbing my jacket and following a now extra bubbly Tay out the door.
“That could be extremely cute.” I sang as I walked behind her on the cobbles. She shook her head and pulled her beanie down over her ears.
“That would be terribly awkward if it went wrong and we toured together again, or our bands collaborated. And all the guys are friends so I’d definitely see him again and then it would be weird and the whole thing could destroy our-“
“I get it!” I cut her off as she began to ramble on. “Ruined friendship, awkward professional relationship blah, blah. I really don’t think any of that matters.”
“How can that not matter?” Tay scoffed as she fell back so we were walking shoulder to shoulder now the crowds had thinned out.
“Because it’s worth a little awkwardness in your life rather than an eternity of not knowing.” I smiled at how slightly poetic that sounded and Tay picked up on it too.
“Jesus, Plato, calm down.” She laughed as we rounded the corner that would lead us to the venue where the boys were playing tonight. Vinny was unloading boxes of merch from the van and grinned the moment he saw me. He started to hold out a box before looking down at my stomach and then scowling at me. I hated how the guys were treating me like a piece of glass now I was pregnant, but for this instance, I’ll take it.
“Mickey!” I called after I flashed my laminate to the security, Tay following behind me. Matt’s head popped out of one of the dressing rooms and pretty much instantly handed me a clipboard.
“Good. You’re back. What the hell are you doing here, Tay?”
“I was sticking around for a bit after Reading and Leeds to keep this one sane. Our tours finished until November.” Matt shrugged and disappeared momentarily before tossing her a laminate. “Plus I told Alex I’d do Remembering Sunday while I was around.” I looked down at the clipboard after Matt had presumably gone back to his computer and sighed at the header. Meet and Greet. I had no problem usually, but now it wasn’t just the band they wanted to see. They wanted to see me. Just by dating Jack I had somehow earned this weird status among the fans and it was extremely odd. I had tweets asking if they could touch my belly. If that’s how they were over the internet I damn prayed they weren’t the same, or worse, in person.

Notes

Some Tay for you because she's perfect.
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