Oh, Calamity.

I feel so stupid for behaving the way I did with Alex. I nearly lost my best friend just because I was confused and I didn’t like it. Ignoring him was never the right thing to do but I panicked over how I felt and I just had no idea what to do. I thought that not speaking to him would get rid of my feelings but oh was I wrong. They just got worse. In all the times that I avoided cuddling him all I wanted to do was cuddle him and any times I tried not to think about him all I ended up doing was thinking about him. Now I have a whole load of feelings for the beautiful boy with the caramel hair and eyes that could see into your soul and make it melt. Just brilliant.

It was an unusually warm day for the end of summer today so Alex, Rian, Zack and I were all heading to the beach for the day/night. I had no idea how I was going to cope with a shirtless Alex in board shorts frolicking in the sand and water but I was excited none the less. It was going to be fun to hang out with them all like how it used to be before I started behaving like an idiot and nearly lost them all.

It was half eleven and I was all set and ready to go, I had my board shorts, sunscreen, food and drink, lighter and my beach towel all shoved into my bag pack which was slung over my shoulders. My hair sat, messily and unstyled on top of my head. No point in putting much effort in for a day at the beach.

When Rian pulled up a few minutes later I began to wish I had put effort in for there in the backseat already shirtless and with perfect hair was Alex who was grinning at me widely as I squished into the cramped back of the car.

‘JAY’ Alex squealed throwing himself at me and basically ending up sat in my lap with my hands resting on his bare stomach. I couldn’t help it and let my thumbs brush over the soft skin there admiring the warmth and feel of it.

‘That feels better than you could ever imagine’ Alex leaned back and whispered into my ear in an attempt to be seductive but my embarrassment just made me laugh.

‘Yous two are so gay’ Zack commented with a smirk as he took in the position we were sat in, Alex on my lap with my hands tracing his stomach.

‘So what’ Alex said flipping him off whilst kissing my cheek loudly and wetly causing me to blush and Zack to roll his eyes.

An hour and a half, a million gay jokes and a whole load of kisses on my cheek, nose and forehead later we arrived at the beach and all bolted out the car to claim the best spot as our own. Rian and Zack had left to go join in on a game of beach volleyball whilst me being lazy opted for lying in the sunshine watching Alex build a sandcastle with military precision. There was absolutely no denying it now Alex was is fucking adorable. The way the sun reflects off of his hair and the skin off his back, his toned stomach and arms and the way he bites his lip when he concentrates could kill me.

‘You’re staring Jack, I can feel it’ Alex said brushing the sand off of his hands and turning round to look at me with a grin.

‘I’m simply admiring your sandcastle’ I replied casually, lying back with my head behind my arms and looking down at my pale stomach that was nothing decent compared to Alex whose board shorts hung low on his hips as he walked over to me.

‘More like admiring me’ He said cockily standing over me and kicking sand on to my stomach.

‘I swear to god if you don’t stop that I’m going to drown you’ I threatened playfully as I brushed the sand off of my stomach.

‘That’s a good idea! Come for a swim with me!’ Alex yelled, kicking more sand on to my stomach as he jumped about. ‘I’ll race you to the water’ and with that he took off running leaving me to stumble to my feet and take off after him. I, Jack Barakat hates to lose, especially to Alex.

Although Alex was fast, my long legs meant that I was able to catch up quickly and run past him splashing into the water carelessly and probably knocking loads of little children over but I couldn’t care less cause I won.

‘VICTORY’ I yelled gleefully, grabbing Alex by his waist lifting him up and dunking him into the water successfully getting all of him in. I quickly swam away knowing that the minute Alex recovered something like that was going to happen to me. I swam a good few metres before stopping to check that Alex was okay but when I turned round I couldn’t see him at all no matter how many times I scanned the water. Oh god, what if I did actually drown him? I was only kidding!

‘Lex!’ I called out, frantically searching for him hoping to see him standing on the shore laughing at me but I couldn’t see him anywhere.

‘LEX!’ I yelled out frantically as I felt a pair of what I hope are legs wrap around my waist and someone’s chest press against my back. A mop of wet caramel hair appeared beside my head.

‘Scared you, didn’t i?’ A very smug sounding Alex whispered into my ear. I couldn’t even be angry at him I was that relieved that he was okay.

‘You’re a dick you know that right?’ I said untangling Alex from me and turning round to face him. ‘I was so worried! I thought I’d drowned you!’ I huffed crossing my arms over my chest and pouting.

‘Don’t be silly Jack. You know I can swim’ Alex said swimming up to me and untangling my arms before pulling me more into the water.

‘Yeah but I wasn’t thinking about that when you were nowhere to be seen! Seriously Lex that wasn’t funny at all’ I persisted not giving in that easily although I wasn’t actually mad.

‘I’m sowiiee Jack’ Alex whined, moving his hair out his face to reveal a heartbreaking expression which could make even the people with the hardest of hearts melt. I moved towards the smaller boy who was struggling to keep his feet flat on the ocean floor and wrapped my arms round his waist holding him up a bit. I might have brought him a bit close seeing as his chest was flush against mine but oh well. I wasn’t complaining I’ve missed being close to him.

‘It’s nice to see you care though’ He said moving his face closer to mine and wrapping his arms around me.

‘Of course I care, you’re my best friend!’ I insisted, looking him in his beautiful little eyes which seemed to hold nervousness for some reason.

‘I wanna try something Jack’ He started. ‘Promise not to freak out on me?’ He said quietly tilting his head slightly.

‘Please god don’t freak out’ He whispered more to himself than me as he began to move his lips closer to mine. Is he about to kiss me? Oh god! What do I do? My panic faded a little as his breath fanned over my lips causing me to allow my eyes to flutter shut and my face to move closer to his. My lips brushed his for a moment allowing me to taste the salt of the sea, but before our lips could connect properly a wave came crashing in and knocked me off my feet causing Alex and I to get separated as we were washed back to the shore like pieces of driftwood.

I actually can’t believe that Alex would try to kiss me. Does he like me like I like him? Was it just a confused mistake?

More importantly though, I can’t believe I just got cock blocked by a wave. I mean c’mon. Even if what Alex was about to do was a mistake on his part I still should have been allowed to enjoy it.

Notes

Longest chapter yet guys! I hope you dont mind the length, i just kinda rambled..

Love you all

-Ailie