The last time I saw Alex played over and over in my head as I walked up the path leading to his front door. I had no idea he was going to react when he saw me. I was fighting the urge to just put the dog down and run. But I knew I couldn’t keep running from him. I stood in front of his door, considering what I would say to him. I took in a deep breath to calm myself and knocked the door. I was waiting what seemed like a lifetime before light from the hallway inside shone through the bottom of the door, it slowly opened to reveal a puffy eyed Alex. His eyes immediately dropped to the floor when he realised it was me, running his hand through the back of his hair. Something was definitely up. I stood there awkwardly for a moment before speaking up.

“I uh… found your dog” I half smiled, unsure on what to do with my expression. He lifted his gaze to the writhing ball of fluff in my arms; clearly he hadn’t even noticed him before.

“Man, I didn’t realise he’d gotten out. Where’d you find him?” Alex stepped aside, inviting me into his house. I hesitantly stepped inside, carefully placing his dog back down. I walked into the lounge as it was the only room I remembered being in.

“He was walking past Vic’s house, I spotted him from my window” I wasn’t sure if I would regret telling him the truth, it sounded kinda weird. I stood in the middle of the room, not really sure what to do with myself. He followed me in, leaning on the doorframe and crossing his arms.

“Well, thanks Phoebe” He smiled at me, but his face was still pained. He wasn’t even trying to hide what he was feeling, and I really wanted to know what that was. We stood there in silence for a while, sweeping our eyes around the room aimlessly to avoid eye contact.

“Do you…uh… want a drink?” He asked me casually, but when I met his gaze his eyes were wide with an emotion I couldn’t put my finger on. My immediate reaction was no, not really. I wanted to go back to my bed and be by myself, not think about the world for a while. But I didn’t like the thought of Alex being alone, not when he was like this.

“Yeah, sure” I smiled back at him. His face lightened up very slightly and he stood away from the doorframe.

“I was gunna make some hot chocolate, want one too?” I opened my mouth to answer him but he got there first.

“Before you answer. I have marshmallows, the mini ones. And whipped cream. If you say no now, … I don’t even know what I’ll do.”

“How can I refuse that?”

“I guess you can’t” He shrugged at me with a crooked smile and made towards what I assumed was the kitchen.

“Make yourself at home” He called back to me from the kitchen. I lazily threw myself down onto the familiar leather couch. I hoped the boys didn’t realise I was gone; I know they would be out of their minds with worry. But I couldn’t call the house, it was too late. Before long, Alex emerged from the kitchen with the drinks and my god he wasn’t wrong about the cream and marshmallows. He placed mine in front of me, the cream wobbled frantically threatening to spill onto the table. I picked it up, wrapping my fingers around the warm mug and leant back into the couch. Alex did the same, folding his legs under him on the smaller couch opposite. He took a careful sip. I couldn’t help but smile at the dollop of cream now sitting on the tip of his nose. He looked up at me, confused at what I was smiling at. I tapped my nose. He quickly felt his nose, realising what he had failed to notice. He smiled at me shyly and wiped it away, dropping his gaze to the floor. His face was a few shades warmer than before. I took a sip of mine, careful not to do the same as Alex.

“I haven’t had cocoa like this since I was a kid” I said before taking another short sip. I quickly stopped the thoughts of my childhood as they only brought me pain now.

“Hmm, there’s nothing else like it. Always makes me feel better” I flicked my eyes back to him, wanting him to tell me what was wrong. He was staring into space blankly; something was obviously on his mind. Questions played on my lips, but I supressed them. If he wanted to tell me he would. I had only known him a matter of days, it was understandable he wasn’t pouring his heart out to me.

“How are you feeling now?” I scrunched my eyebrows, not following what he meant.

“You passed out? From the heat?”

“Oh… yeah, I feel a lot better” I replied with a small smile, feeling like a complete idiot for forgetting.

“I’m surprised you aren’t asleep, I’d be dead to the world”

“I couldn’t, too much going on in my head” I spoke without thinking it through. I knew what he would say next, but I didn’t know what I was going to tell him.

“Like what?” His voice was softer, like he didn’t want to intrude. I thought about telling him the truth, it was tempting. I looked up to meet his intense gaze.

“I was worrying,” I stopped, considering if I should finish the sentence.

“About you” I dropped my gaze, too cowardly to face his reaction. I felt the couch cushion dip beside of me. I turned my head only enough to see Alex’s legs folded up beside of me. I lifted my eyes to meet his, he was staring at me curiously. His eyes filled with a mixture of confusion and warmth.

“Why?” I sighed, reaching across and picking up his wrist. I didn’t reveal the scar underneath, I just held it in my hand and ran circles over it with my thumb. He looked down, watching my thumb move over his sleeve.

“I know the kind of stuff that has to be going through your head to do this” I looked back up to him. His gaze had dropped to the floor and the pain in his expression had returned.

“It was a long time ago” His voice was barely louder a whisper. He didn’t want to say anything else, and I didn’t press him for more. What was I doing? I barely knew the guy! And this was a conversation I couldn’t have with him if I couldn’t talk about my own past without breaking down.

“I...uh, better get back before the boys wake up and realise I’m gone” My voice was just as quiet as his. He nodded without meeting my eyes. I felt guilt run through me. All I had done was drink his hot chocolate and make him feel worse. I rose out of my seat, picking up both mine and Alex’ empty mugs and took them into the kitchen.

“You don’t have to do that” I heard Alex call from the lounge. I set them down on the counter and walked back into the lounge.

“It’s the least I could do” I say with a slight smile. We stood in silence again, just looking at each other. I exhale and walk towards him, pulling him into a hug without thinking about it. He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and hugged me back, burying his face in the gap between my shoulder and my neck. I didn’t want to let go.

“You know where I am if you need anything, I don’t care what. If you feel low again give me a call, okay?” He didn’t reply, only nodding his head slightly and pulling me in tighter. I reluctantly pulled away, making towards the front door. Alex’s arm appeared in front of me, opening the door. I turned and looked up at him.

“Thanks Phoebs” His eyes burnt with sincerity. I nod my head slightly.

“You’re welcome. See you around?” I said with a smile.

“Yes” He grinned at me and I couldn’t help grin back.

“Bye” I say as I walk down his path, it was getting light out. God knows what the time was.

“Bye” Alex called after me. I turned to give him one last wave before he closed the door softly, careful not to wake up half the street. I walked back to Vic’s house in a daze.

Notes

Taken me a while to get this finished, but its twice as long as my chapters usually are, finally managed to write a long(ish) one :D
Tell me what you think! Thankyou <3
XXX