Worse Than Nicotine

Holly looked at the empty space next to her where her dad would be sitting if this were a Tuesday night. But it wasn’t, so Holly sat quietly, eating her mom’s awful casserole.

Mrs. Wolfe popped a spoonful of casserole in her mouth. “So,” she cleared her throat, “Brendon’s mom gave me ring at work today.”

Holly squeezed her eyes tight and let out an inaudible sigh.

“She told me you broke up with him.” Mrs. Wolfe set her fork down and clasped her hands together, staring her daughter down. “The boy even wrote a song for you after it. But from the amount of profanity words in it that I heard in the background of Mrs. Urie’s call, I’m guessing it’s not a good song.”

Holly picked out a bit of the casserole and examined it on her fork. “Probably not,” she muttered.

“Holly Anne,” her mom called sternly. Holly continued to look away. “You and Brendon were friends since you were born, and he loved you with every piece of his heart. So how did you manage to fuck up the best thing to happen in your life?”

Holly only sighed in response.

“HOLLY ANNE WOLFE,” her mother growled.

“SHUT UP!” The daughter stood from the table. Mrs. Wolfe was speechless. “I’M NOT PERFECT! I’M HUMAN, AND I CAN FALL IN AND OUT LOVE WHENEVER I PLEASE! I DON’T FEEL THE SAME AS HIM ANYMORE, OKAY?!”

Mrs. Wolfe blinked her eyes at her daughter’s red face.

Holly dropped the fork from her hand and glanced away from her mother’s eyes. “Excuse me,” she seethed through clenched teeth and made her way to her room.

Maybe she did fuck up this time.

---

4 Months Earlier

“I need your help with something.”

Holly looked up from where her head sat on her boyfriend’s legs. It was a nice summer day, and the couple decided to take advantage of it by going out to their favorite park and sitting beneath the blooming peach tree. This was a cherished spot to them, seeing as this was where Brendon took her after their awful first date in which a dozen sodas were spilled on her by an idiotic waiter.

“You need help with many things.” She chuckled and took a drag from her cigarette before grabbing one of her shoes that laid on the ground and crushing it.

He laughed. “Seriously, help me.”

She put a finger to her lips in fake pondering.

“I will quote Shakespeare.”

She sat up. “Okay, I’ll help you.”

He smiled and reached for his backpack, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. “I wrote this song … but I’m not sure on it.” He thrusted the paper in her direction. “Could you read it and tell me how it sounds?”

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because I trust you more than my bandmates.”

“I’m sure Ryan would beg to differ.” She said, sitting up against the tree with him.

He laid his head on her shoulder, his dark locks tickling her neck as he said, “Just read it.”

She straighten the paper out as much as she could before she started reading aloud:

“When the moon fell in love with the sun
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night

“When the sun found the moon
She was drinking tea in a garden
Under the green umbrella trees
In the middle of summer

“When the moon found the sun
He looked like he was barely hanging on
But her eyes saved his life
In the middle of summer

“In the middle of summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer, summer, summer, summer
All was golden when the day met the night

“So he said, ‘Would it be all right
If we just sat and talked for a little while
If in exchange for your time
I give you this smile?’

“So she said, ‘That’s okay
As long as you can make a promise
Not to break my little heart
Or leave me all alone in the summer.’”

She looked his way with confused eyes, and he gestured her to continue.

“Well he was just hanging around
Then he fell in love
And he didn't know how
But he couldn't get out
Just hanging around
Then he fell in love

“In the middle of summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night
Summer, summer, summer, summer
When the moon fell in love with the sun
All was golden in the sky
All was golden when the day met the night.”

She stayed quiet, repeating the beautiful words in her head and realizing how lucky she was to have grown up with a boy like Brendon. She felt his breathing match hers then, his head still resting in the same position in the corner between her neck and shoulder as he muttered, “I love you, Holly Wolfe.”

She reached over and cupped their hands together. “Right back at ya.”

---

That memory was forever repeating in her head throughout the night. She could barely sleep with every dream she had being that memory. Maybe her mom was right, she had fucked up.

The next day, which was luckily Friday, Holly and Hayley changed up their routine and just took the bus to Holly’s house. Hayley knew something was up the past few days, and going to a show up in town wasn’t going to solve their problems. The redhead sat down on the familiar purple satin comforter and looked around her best friend’s room: full of photographs. Every single one was different; some were from old band shows, others were of the outside, and a lot were of Holly herself and friends. But Hayley noticed some were missing, and her eyes drifted to the stack of framed photographs on top of Holly’s desk.

“What’s been going on?” Hayley asked as her friend threw her bag to the floor and took the spot beside her.

“I’ve kept you in the dark lately, haven’t I?”

Hayley frowned. “Just a tad.”

The blonde ran a hand through her hair. “Well, it started a few days ago when I … broke up with Brendon.”

Holly expected another person to scream at her, and was surprised when Hayley stayed silent, her eyes never leaving her friend. After a moment of silence, the redhead finally asked, “Why?”

“That’s where the second part of this comes in. But Brendon doesn’t exactly know of it.” Holly took a deep breath before continuing. “These past weeks, I’ve kind of been … going afterschool to see Mr. Gaskarth.”

Hayley lifted a brow. “Well, that’s okay, as long as―”

“Hayles,” the blonde interrupted, “not in that way.”

The friend’s eyes were confused until realization flashed in them, and they widened. She swallowed down hard and bit the end of her fingernail. “So all this time that you’ve been ignoring Brendon’s calls and miss going to band practices,” she said, putting the pieces together, “you’ve been hooking up with our new Music teacher?”

“In Layman’s terms, yes,” Holly shrugged.

“W―Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” She furrowed her brow.

“I was afraid how you would react …” The blonde’s voice trailed off. “You did a lot for me and Brendon. You were even the one to urge him to ask me out in freshmen year. If I told you sooner … I don’t know. I never knew it would turn out like this.”

She covered her face with her hands, but Hayley pried them away. “You’re having an affair with our teacher, Holl. How did you expect it to turn out?”

“In my defense, I didn’t know I was going to have said ‘affair’ in the first place.” When Hayley raised a brow, she continued, “He kind of came onto me first accidentally, so I just rolled with it because … well, have you seen him?”

“Okay, fair enough.” The redhead released her friend’s hands and sighed. “I just want to know if you realize what you’re doing with all of this. You could get into some major shit if this gets out.”

“I really like him, Hayles.” Holly stared straight into her friend’s eyes. “I know what I’m doing.”

“I know, I know.” She ran her hand up and down Holly’s arm in comfort. “I knew something was going on when he sang that song in class, and I know I won’t be able to look at him the same, but I respect him.”

Holly smiled warmly. “Thank you, Hayley.”

“But if he hurts you,” she started to crack her knuckles, “I don’t think he’ll be able to have children after I see him.”

Notes

Guys I loved writing that flashback scene and it makes me want Holly and Brendon back buT THEY CAN'T Dx
But Hayley is very understanding aw x3
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Rock on \m/