I'm sorry brothers,
So sorry lover,
Forgive me father,
I love you mother.

Alex

Don't you ever have that feeling when something so important to you walks away, not noticing what they are doing is hurting you? You try to beg them to come back, but you're begging them with no words, just the beats of your heart.

That's how Alex felt

He has been stood in the same place where the only one that was on his mind walked away so little ago. He was silently praying Jack would come back and stay with Alex to give him that little bit of comfort.

But he didn't

The atmosphere around Alex became chilly and twice as dark then what it was. Alex felt like the dark was trying to make him feel more terrible than what it is.

You see Alex's father, Peter, has came home from his stressful job to a letter saying that he'll have to be back out on another business trip. He got so angry he just bluntly shouted at Alex's mother; they always do. Isobel and Peter have always been arguing over the stupid little things. Like that time when Isobel just spilt orange juice near Peter- it wasn't even on him!But sure, that never bothered Alex that much. It was until Alex's dad mentioned Tom. He mentioned Alex's brother right in front of Alex; Alex was trying to get to the stairs, but failing as Alex's father kept walking about furiously. Alex's father said that Isobel would've been better if Tom wasn't even born. He also said the same about Alex, but Alex didn't care. Alex just wanted his brother back.

That was when he stormed away, not even spilling a tear. He wants Jack to come back and just be here. He wants anyone comforting to be here, because he knows he isn't going back to his house tonight.

Alex and Tom had the best brother bond you could ever ask for. Where ever Tom goes, Alex follows-unless to the pub and stuff where he didn't want Alex. Tom basically brought Alex up. He showed Alex amazing bands and taught him how to play guitar. Alex still uses Tom's guitar and never ever lets anyone touch it. Tom defended his little brother up until the day he went. Tom couldn't coupe with all the family issues going on. Isobel and Peter fighting and stuff. He also couldn't control his alcohol. So Tom decided to leave everything behind and stayed in a hotel back in Essex before getting a small flat. His family knew about Tom's alcohol problem, but they thought it would die down.

They were wrong.

Tom died shortly after moving back to Essex at the age of twenty-one. He had his whole life in front of him! But the alcohol came first. He drank way too much alcohol that his body could coupe and died in his sleep. When the news hit the Gaskarth family, tears were spilt, rivers were forming. Alex was crying, but he didn't understand. He was twelve after all, but he defiantly knew Tom wasn't coming back. All the memories were held in Alex's broken heart. The way Tom taught Alex how to sing. He would sing to him every night. But as Alex grew older, seventeen now, he understood. As soon as Alex turned fifteen, he knew what it was like to not have a brother. All the kids used to make brother jokes around him, he would silently cry, but through his heart. He knew his brother wanted him to be strong and not let anyone bring him down- he said it himself. But now, Alex was letting all the tears flow.

Alex scraped his back against the wall as he slowly moved down it to sitting position. His knees were high and his head was low. He clenched his fists and brought them to the ground. Why was he letting them all flow out now? After all this time keeping them inside. Alex was just a mess. He slowly closed his eyes to be met with images of tragic events. He sighed, re-opening them again. He started picking the leaves of the ground and calmly crunching them in his hand, thinking it was his life. He then sprinkled the small pieces of leaves on the ground effetly. He closed his eyes and rested his head in his knees and started falling to sleep.

*five hours later*

Alex bolted from his sleep as he felt a sudden vibration in his pocket. He ended up banging his head against the tree with a thump. He groaned, placing his hand behind his head on the spot where the pain painfully started to grow. He rubbed gently, easing the pain. He then replaced his hand in his hoodie pocket, fumbling for his phone. Once he found his old excuse of a phone, he pulled it out and straight away unlocked it. He frowned, seeing '5 New Messages' flashing in front of his eyes. He groaned from annoyance and been woken up.

He never expected it to be his mum who texted him. He clutched his facial expressions up and get scanned through them.

From Mum:
Sweet, where are you?

From Mum: Hunny, come home

From Mum: We're sorry, we didn't mean to shout in front of you.

From Mum: You know your dad didn't mean what he said, he's just very angry! Please come home or at least text us letting us know where you are. We love you! xx

Alex clutched his fists up. He knew his dad meant every single little word that came out his loud mouth. He knew he never liked his sons. Well, son...Alex. Alex and his dad never got on. It was constant ignoring and being ignorant between them. Sometimes, Alex would believe that was one of the reasons Tom left. He hated that, but he just couldn't get on with his dad.

Alex started getting up, finally realising how dark and bitter it was. He steadily started heading home.

Once he entered in his house, his mum gasped from the kitchen. She questioned his name before stepping out from the kitchen. She gasped, the fear of her son never coming back ran our off her body. She walked up to Alex and cuddled him, sighing. Before, Alex had gone missing for a week due to the drama around his surroundings in the house. But he arrived back soon enough, getting sick of sleeping in that same bush for a week.

"I thought you did it again," His mum croaked up, gripping her tight on Alex. Alex hummed on his mum's head, holding her.

"I'm sorry Alex, I didn't know what was going to come out your father's mouth. You know what he's like." His mum assured, pulling back from the embraced hug.

"Look mum, I'm fine. I'm sorry I worried you," Alex sighed, not in the mood for his mum's excuses.

"I'm just...really tired. I'm going to bed, night." He said as politely as he could, not wanting his mum to be hurt by his actions. His mum smiled un surely before nodding. Alex rolled his eyes in relief, and walked up to his room to clasp on his bed and fell asleep.

Notes