I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why I have to scream.
I don't know why I instigate
And say what I don't mean.
I don't know how I got this way
I know it's not alright.
So I'm breaking the habit,
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight


Jack p.o.v.

"Hey, boys;take a seat." The Music teacher's voice appeared as me and Alex entered the class. I was thankful that he didn't shout at us because we arrived at least two minutes late. I followed Alex to the back of the class room, taking the seat next to him as he sat down. I appreciated Alex's help of helping me through my panic attack. I have at least one panic attack every week, which sucks. I would've thought Alex would think I'm some depressed emo freak who has panic attacks because he's weak. I thought he would've walked away and not helped me. I was surprise when he asked me to sit next to me. I guess I could call him a friend?

The teacher blabbed on about how we were studying some weird kind of music. Like I said, I don't pay attention. Even though I don't pay attention in class, I seem to have good grades. How does that even work?

"Partner up, guys!" The new teacher shouted to the class. Of course we would need to partner up. Of course I won't have an partner.

"Wanna work with me?" I heard a whisper in my ear. The room was really loud from everyone running to their friends, I could only just hear the voice. I knew it was Alex. He has that special English accent that no one else has- maybe because we're American? I nodded, starring down at my fingers.

"Come on then." Alex beamed from his chair. I got up slower than him.

"You can leave your bag, don't worry; no one will take it." Alex assured. I bit my lip, not really trusting my bag being on it's own. Come on, I can trust Alex. I placed my bag down on the seat and pushed the seat under the table. I let out a breath and tried to look around for Alex's belly. Once I saw it beside me, he started moving. I followed the moving body. We sat down, a keyboard in front of us. I am so shit at playing the piano. God help Alex, he should've got someone who can actually play the piano to be his partner.

Alex placed a sheet in front of us with the letter notes on it. He placed a key guide on the keyboard, making sure it was lined up with the right keys.

"Alright, so I'm really shit at piano and so I apologise." Alex said straight out, grabbing a headphones and passing it to me. I placed the headphones on my head, the room now becoming slightly less louder with the people still arguing on who they want to be with. I jumped slightly when I heard a piano key being pushed. Yeah, it was on full volume. I heard faint chuckling beside me and then a sorry. I nodded, even though Alex probably didn't see it.

I found it cute how Alex got frustrated when he hit the wrong key. When he did hit the wrong key, he bashed every single key on the piano, making me laugh quietly.

"I give up." He finally said, crossing his arms. I smiled, pressing the G? A? C? yeah, C note, followed on by the remaining notes. I did it all without getting the keys wrong. I wasn't even looking at the key guide. I didn't know I could play piano.

"How do you do that?" Alex gasped, leaning forward, placing his arms on the table. I shrugged, placing my finger on C.

"I d-don't know." I stuttered, playing the next note.

"Could you teach me?" Alex asked. I nodded, grabbing his finger lightly and placing it on C. Is it weird that I just got a tingle-y feeling? Probably. I smiled, guiding Alex over to the next note.

After about twenty minutes, Alex had finally got the hang of it, no longer needing me to guide him. He was playing the tune I don't know the name of, perfectly.

"Thank you, Jack." Alex said after awhile of playing, him deciding on letting me play. I smiled, nodding. I couldn't even say 'You're welcome' but I could say 'I don't know'? Fuck.

"Okay, pack up." The teacher called loudly. I took off my headphones, wrapping the wire around it slowly. I then placed it on the Piano, getting up. I tucked my chair in, walking over to my bag. I let out a breath of relief when I saw my bag still there. I picked it up and placed it over my shoulders, tucking my chair in and waiting for the damn bell.

Finally, the bell went. I actually couldn't wait to get home today. Mostly because Alex was being too kind to me and I found it strange. I headed out of school, my head hanging low as pure usual.

"Hey!" Fuck. Alex was following me? I slowed down, letting Alex catch up. I barely made it out of the school grounds. I didn't mind Alex being around me, but I can't help but feel he's planning something. I don't know what.

"I'm sorry I keep bothering you. I was just wondering, do you wanna hang out today at that forest. You don't have to, I understand that forest is yours." Alex breathed out, sounding like he'd been running. Did he run all the way from inside school to me? Probably not. Should I hang out with him? You know what? Aldemar isn't here, so fuck it.

"Sure." I said. I actually said and didn't whisper. Holy shit, that felt good.

"Wow." Alex gasped, his voice in shock. Talking louder is one thing, but I really want to lift my head up- that'll be too much though.

"Hmm?" I hummed, looking forward in front of me a little at the street.

"I just- I guess I really like your voice. Sorry if that sounds creepy." Alex chuckled nervously. I smiled to myself. Alex liking my voice is one thing that isn't creepy.

"It's not creepy." I smiled, proud of myself for talking so confidently. I don't know where this confidence all of a sudden came from. I think it's because I finally realised that Aldemar isn't here to stop me. I can actually say all I like.

"Thank god!" Alex laughed. I looked up and saw that we were near the forest. I bit my lip awkwardly.

"Are we going to the forest now?" I asked, a little too nervously. Fuck, confidence come back!

"Sure, I'll text my mum when we get there." He assured. I should text my dad and mum too.

"I really like this place." Alex breathed out. I nodded, mumbling a 'yeah, it is' out and sat down by the tree I always sat down at. Alex joined me, dumping his bag the floor. I laughed at how he just dropped the bag, not giving two fucks.

"So..." Alex started, shuffling on the floor in attempt to get comfortable. I hmm'ed. I needed him to start the conversation. We ended up sitting in silence for quite a bit, both looking different ways. I was looking away from Alex so he couldn't see my face.

"Jack, I really don't want to sound rude or anything, but why don't you talk? There's nothing wrong with your voice at all." Alex asked carefully through the silence. Fuck. I can't just say Oh, I had an evil voice in my head called Aldemar who made me push you that one time. He says I'm not aloud anyone to get close or he'll hurt them.

"I dunno." I mumbled, looking down at my legs.

"Well, I think you should talk more. It's really nice to hear your voice." Alex mumbled at the end. He actually wants to hear me? Why would he want that? My voice is all croaky from not talking for some years, and he likes?

"I don't really like it to be honest." I spoke, being honest. That's the most I've said in a 'proper volume'd voice.

"Why not?" Alex asked. I shrugged a little, playing with my jeans.

"Well uh, I don't mind your voice; you can talk to me." Alex said kindly. Yeah, I would really like to talk to Alex because he's just so kind and has helped me through a lot. Should I though? What if Aldemar comes back?

"I-I'll think about it?" I said, my words coming out as an question. I sighed, getting my phone out to tell my parents where I am.

"I won't ever hurt you, y'know." Alex whispered.

"I-I know, I just have a lot of problems going on." I kinda lied? I mean, Aldemar is gone-he was my only problem, now I can talk to Alex without him getting in the way.

"You know what, I think I can trust you."

Notes

I'm so sorry this is so boring. I really don't know how I feel about this story anymore. xc

Thanks for reading¡