Deer In The Headlights

Jack's p.o.v.

I bolted up from my nightmare by my mum smoothly waking me up. She was placed by my chest. I straight away sat up and cuddled her from the side. I began breaking down, shaking.
< br> "Jack, shh." My mum cooed, hugging me back. I sniffed, trying to breathe out my nose. It was a difficult task to do.

"Jack hunny, calm down. It's okay." My mum softly mumbled into my ear. She began rubbing circles up and down my back.

"It was terrible." I cried, amazingly not startling. She aw'd and asked if I wanted to talk about it.

"No!" I cried out automatically. I hesitated before speaking calmer.

"N-no, mum. It's fine." I sobbed. Actually, it was beyond fine. It was dreadful. I felt as if I was actually there. I could smell the fruits and vegetables around me and Alex. I could hear clearly what everyone was saying; including Alex. When he shot me, it felt...so real.

"It seems bad to me, hunny. Do you want anything to drink or eat?" My mum awkwardly said, obviously not used to comforting me. I bet she hasn't ever seen me like this; only that one time in hospital. I paused for a second, the images still circling my head. I blinked and sobbed, pulling back from my mum.

"A um.. nevermind, I'm okay. Nothing please, mum." I tried smiling but it must of came out as a half-smile. She looked confused for a second, debating on if she should get me something anyway, or not.

"Are you sure? I could get you a-"

"I'm okay!" I snapped, sighing. My mum sat there; shocked and she looked ill. Great.

"O-okay sweety, if you say so." She quickly got up and slowly walked out my room. I sighed, finally feeling a little more free.

-Jaaack-

What the fuck was that. Wait a minute...

-Jaack, you know you want us you faggot-

I blinked, remembering that high pitched voices calling me. It's true, I did want them. I haven't had them since before the incident. I shivered, remembering in detail what happened. I deserved them for treating my mum like shit just then when she was trying to help me. Maybe I should go check on her first?

I wiped my warm tear stains off my cheek before getting off my bed. I starred around my room a little before dodging some stuff on my floor to my mum's room. Slowly, I knocked before pushing the handle down. I walked in to see my mum on her bed with her hands covered by her head. I gulped guiltily.

"Mum?" I questioned,my voice coming out croaky.

"Get out, Jack!" She snapped, not lifting her head up.

"Mum, I'm sorr-"

"Get out!" She yelled, finally lifting her head up. Her cheeks were red with little tears still splattered on them. She had an angry look on her face as she pointed to the door.

"Why?" I choked, looking at what I did to my mum.

"Jack, I swear to God, get the fuck out off my room right now!" She started getting up, tears started fall down from her eyes and landing on the floor as she stood up. Before she could move one step, I darted (hopped) out her room, feeling tears sting in the back of my eyes.

Once everything was quite, I peaked my head outside my door and looked up and down the hallway with my eyes. I grilled tighter to my little friend and walked out my room, closing the door so it looked like I was still inside. It's been an hour since my mum shouted at me, and I just couldn't handle my thoughts drowning me.

I quickly hoped to the bathroom, but finding it difficult through the dark. Once I found the door handle, I got it and very slowly closed it until it clicked. When it clicked, I automatically locked it. I sighed in relief of successfully not catching any attention. Straight away, I cupped my friend into my hand and.closed my fingers to cover it. I started slipping out my jumper slowly and quietly. I discarded my jumper once I got it off. I opened my hand and looked at the blade held inside it. I smiled sickly, moving it so my fingers held it. I lifted it in the air and looked at it for a split second before lining it up with my wrist. Tears started to break out as I closed my eyes, not wanting to look. I dangerously dragged the thin piece of metal across my skin. At first, I just felt numb, so I did it again. Still, no pain was coming out off this. I needed pain. So I guided the blade to my finger tip and tease it before slicing the tip of my finger. I bit my lip as I noticed I was sensitive there. I moved the blade back to my wrist, ignoring the tingling feeling at the tip of my finger. Then again, I added another mark, and another and another. By now, my own tears were slipping into my cuts.

I looked up into the mirror in front of the sink and growled at it. I hated myself. I hated myself for everything. Appearance down to personality. I just wanted to tear my skin to part with my own fingers. I shook my head before painfully turning the tap on and rinsed all the blood off my wrists, wincing every now and then.

I gently pulled my hoodie sleeve over my wrists as I tip toed back to my bedroom, but stopped when I heard my mum call my name from her bedroom. But I ignored it, shaking my head, and carrying on hopping to my bedroom, using the walls as support.

Once I arrived to my bedroom, I gently placed my body into my bed, covering it by the protective cover and falling into a deep, horrid sleep.

Notes

Hey, sorry it's been quite a bit, but here's a boring chapter. I'm sorry.