Long Live Us

*Alex pov*

Friday was always a drag for Alex, it always seemed like such a pointless and stupid day. This Friday was no different as he drove to school. It was weird not having Jack next to him, and he kind of missed his goofy laugh and stupid jokes. In fact, he really missed him, but part of him was just on red alert to not let him back in. He wasn't sure why, it just felt like they needed time apart. It was definitely showing Alex that he needed the taller boy in his life. It felt like a part of him was missing without Jack, and he seemingly needed that part to function normally. He felt bad for shouting at the taller boy, again, and for taking his bad mood out on him. But he couldn't exactly take it back. Part of his wished Jack would come back to him, asking for forgiveness, but that was yet to happen. And he doubted it would.
He pulled up in his usual parking space across the road, waited until the bell was about to ring, before getting out of his car and heading towards school. The sky was clear but dull, and a slight breeze was blowing, ruffling his hair as he walked into school. As he waltzed through the door of the form room as the bell rang, and the form began to appear. Turns out they had a form period first lesson, so he plopped down in the seat where he would be situated for the next hour. Looking up at the form tutor, he noticed a darkness in his eyes. Like something was happening, something bad. Almost like somebody was hurt. The mans brown eyebrows were furrowed together and his eyes shifted from the door and back to Alex's table and then back to the door. Mr Wilkinson looked worried, tense, fiddling with the cuffs of his grey cardigan. When Alex looked at Rian, a frown formed on his own face as he saw the same darkness in his eyes.
'What the hell is going on?' He wondered, suddenly noticing Jack's absence. Had something happened to him?
His worry for the tall boy increased further when Jenna entered the classroom. She gave sir a quick nod and then walked over and sat in Rian's seat as the boy shuffled over. The blonde girl gave a small smile to the boy, and gave Alex no more than a sidewards glance. Had he done something? Had he caused something? That was quite likely, considering how much of a dick he had been recently. Guilt filled his body as he pictured Jack doing something stupid over him. But would he really have done anything? Surely he realised he was ten times better than that? Than anything.
Alex's panic subsided when Mr Wilkinson started teaching when the bell went, as this reassured him that they wouldn't be sitting in silence. Which is what usually happened if something really bad had happened. Then he realised that maybe it was nothing to do with Jack; that was just an assumption he has made. However all the evidence that was in the room pointed towards something relating to the dark haired boy was going on. Sir did the introduction to the lesson, which was about alcohol, not straying far from his desk, which was unusual for the lively young man.
"Right, so you guys can do this sheet about your own experiences and what you think the answers are and then we can have a discussion." He finished, putting the handful of sheets on the table in front of Joe, who stood up and began handing them out. Mr Wilkinson mouthing something caught Alex's eye, and he turned around just in time to see him mouth "where is he?" to Jenna and Rian, who both shrugged. So something was wrong, and it was with Jack. The sheet landed in front of Alex and he picked it up, quickly writing his name at the top. Whatever was wrong can't be that serious, or someone would have told him. Everyone else seemed to settle down as well, filling the classroom with only quiet chatter. Alex quickly filled everything in on the sheet, his brain telling him that the quicker he finishes this the quicker the lesson would go, although he knew that wasn't true.
The sound of the door opening made his head snap up, and the same reaction came from Mr Wilkinson, Jenna and Rian. Jack. Alex had to stop himself from running over to him as he acknowledged the state the younger boy was in. His hair was covered by a beanie, but the bits of his fringe sticking out looked messy and unbrushed, rather than their usual glossy state. His body was covered in a blink hoodie rather than his blazer, and then Alex's eyes reached his face. His glasses were perched on his nose, something he had said he hated doing in school, and behind them his eyes were bloodshot and red, clearly showing the world that the boy had been crying. The black bags under his sore looking eyes suggested he hadn't slept either, which was backed up by his slumped shoulders and laboured walking. Alex watched him, his heart breaking, as he wandered over to Mr Wilkinson's desk and handed him a small piece of paper; which Alex assumed was a note explaining why he was late. The teachers eyes danced over the note and he nodded, before placing it on the desk and looking up at Jack. A sad smile played on his lips, to which the tall boy responded with a nod, before making his way over to the desk. Rian and Jenna were both watching him intently as he made his way towards the table. When Jack's gaze met Rian's you could see the heartache in his eyes, as he walked past him, running his hand through his short hair. Then he looked up and saw Alex. Their eyes met only for a few moments, but it was one of those times where time seems to slow right down. Each boy was silently pleading for the other, both craving and lusting after the others touch. The look filling Jack's normally bright, beautiful eyes made Alex's heart break, and he found himself now fighting tears for the boy. The brunette was insanely worried about him, what was going on? He was internally kicking himself for what he had said before, which was why he couldn't wrap his arms around Jack this very second. Yes, he had been pissed off because he felt thrown to the side, but he realised now that it didn't really matter. To him, the only thing that matters is Jack. The dark haired boy broke the eye contact with a small sniff, but longing still filled his eyes as he collapsed onto his chair and leaned into Jenna, crying softly as she gently rubbed his back. She noticed Alex watching and she smiled sadly, her eyes silently telling him that Jack needs him. If only Jack knew how much Alex needed him, too.

----------------------------------------------------

'I don't think I've ever seen you this upset, you need to sort this out.' Oli said sternly, looking sadly at Alex through the computer. The boys were having a Saturday morning Skype, and Alex had just shared the whole story with his friend. The rest of Friday had been horrible for the brunette, worry and anxiety eating his insides away. Nothing was able to distract him, and he couldn't get the pained look of Jack's eyes out of his head. There was nothing he wouldn't give to have the dark haired boy right here now, filling the room with his goofy laugh and dick jokes.
"I don't know what to do, I think I really fucked up." Alex admitted, twirling a bit of his hair between his fingers - a weird habit he had picked up that he did when he was thinking.
'Well yeah you kinda did, but you need to show him that you know that and regret it.' The British boy spoke soothingly, his eyes round with worry for his friend. 'Do you want me to ask Josh?'
Alex shook his head, keeping the piece of hair in his fingers as he addressed Oli once more.
"No I think this is something I have to work out myself." Oli nodded, in approval or agreement Alex didn't know, but at least some sort of idea was now coming together. He wanted to get his Jack back. And he would. Somehow. Maybe. If it worked..
'Stop doubting yourself, I know you'll think of something.' Alex chuckled at how well Oli knew him, and even through the computer could read every tiny detail of his body language. Sometimes even he thought it was weird how well they knew each other, but hey that's just friendship for you.
"Should I like pull out the big guns? Or small and simple?" Alex queried, tipping his head to one side slightly.
'Small and simple.' He replied instantly, nodding his head.
"Should I ask Tay? Get a girl's opinion?" Oli laughed at this suggestion, now shaking his head slightly.
'Oh Alex. Just do what you think will work.' He reassured with a smile, making Alex smile back whilst he nodded. Before the brunette could reply, the door behind Oli swung open, and a girl walked in. She had short black hair that framed her pale face, and even through the computer Alex could see she had big brown eyes, and he had to admit she was beautiful.
'Hey, who's this?' She asked Oli, plopping herself down in the bed next to the boy. He looked up at her, and Alex recognised the look instantly. His friend was head over heels for this girl. The English boys eyes just lit up the second she walked in, and were now filled with admiration as he looked her her now. Alex smiled, at least Oli was happy.
'Hannah this is Alex. Alex, Hannah.' Oli answered, motioning between them. Alex waved, grinning at the screen. Hannah waved back, a smile lighting up her own face.
'I'm glad to finally meet the famous Alex!' She said, making both boys laugh. Alex was happy to hear that Oli hadn't forgotten him, and that he was spoken about just as he was here. After a few minutes of normal conversation between the three, Hannah left saying she needed to finish her drawing for her art coursework, leaving the boys once more.
"So? When were you going to tell me?" Alex questioned, raising his eyebrows and shaking his head slightly. Oli chuckled, understanding completely what he meant, no other words were needed to provide an explanation.
'Soon. I kinda wanted to wait and see if it went anywhere.' He admitted, chewing the inside of his bottom lip.
"It will, I can tell." Alex reassured him, making his eyes light up.
'You really think so?'
"Yes, I do."
'Well, I'd better get going. See you later Panda, go and get Jack back.' Oli said, waving and smiling. Alex said his own farewell and the screen went blank, so he shut the lid of his laptop and returned it to on the floor by his desk. He shrugged on his jacket and pulled on his vans and a beanie, grabbed his wallet and keys and went. Alex had work to do.

He headed to the shopping centre, opting for the one where he knew Jack wouldn't be for certain, to buy everything he wanted. He pulled up in a space in the parking building, put his little ticket behind the steering wheel by the window and off he went. Alex had only been to this place once with Tay, and it was months ago, so he silently prayed that the shops he needed were still there. Being a Saturday, it was busy, with lots of people bustling around, many lugging round large amounts of shopping bags. Laughing as he saw a women dragging what was obviously her partner round, him laden with the bags, Alex put one headphone in and headed towards his first shop. Tay had taken him here on their visit; a small shop called Millie's Cookies. As the name suggests, they sold cookies, which were heavenly. But Alex had noticed that you could get bigger ones with a personalised message in the middle. That was his first idea. He found the shop, and breathed in the smell of freshly baked cookies as he walked up to the counter. A blonde women was serving, her hair tied up in a neat ponytail, smiling as Alex approached.
"How can I help you today?" She asked as Alex removed the headphone from his ear so he could hear her properly.
"Can I get one of those massive cookies where you write messages on it please?" He replied, glad that the girl knew what he meant because she nodded, picked a small slip of paper up with a pen and leaned on the surface of the counter.
"What flavour would you like?"
"Er, like a normal milk chocolate one?" She nodded and ticked a box on the slip of paper.
"What two colours would you like the icing?"
"Oh Jesus Christ.." Alex ran a hand through his fringe, trying to think of what would look good. "I'll go with red and pink I think." He decided, watching the women tick another two boxes. She then turned the slip around and pushed it towards him and laying the pen on top.
"Write your message and fill in the contact details and we'll text you when it's ready." Alex nodded and picked up the pen, filling in his phone number before looking at the message box.
'I screwed up. I miss you xoxo' he wrote, then handed the pen and slip back to the girl, before thanking her and leaving, ignoring the temptation to but himself a snack or two.
His next stop was the card/gift shop, hoping to find something suited to what he had in mind. Once again he pushed through crowds of people, trying to remember the way. When he arrived at where the shop was, he sighed happily and thankfully at the fact it had closing down sale written all over the window. Perfect timing. Alex walked in and made his way to the back of the shop, ignoring a huff from a women when he nearly knocked her child over. Rolling his eyes at the fact it was obviously his fault and not hers for letting her child run about like a headless chicken, he reached the shelf he was looking for. His eyes scanned the shelf, and he felt them light up when they landed on the perfect one. Reaching up, he grabbed the small bear, chuckling at the 'I'm beary sorry' t-shirt. Instantly, he knew Jack would love it. It was really soft, and dead cute, so Alex clutched it firmly in his hand as he made his way back down the shop. He went the other way as to avoid the women and her child, grabbing a few birthday cards in the sale so he could have some in advance. He quickly paid, slyly checking out the hot guy working behind the till, before heading towards his third and final shop, then he would return to pick up his cookie.
The last shop was the flower shop. It was a shorter walk this time, the white shop only being a few shops down the road, brightly coloured flowers in the window. Alex pushed the door open, breathing in the smell. It was something he enjoyed, it reminded him of hot, long summer days. Wandering over to the desk he eyes what he wanted at the far end of the shop.
"Can I get a rose please?" He asked the red haired women behind the desk after she greeted him. She came out from behind the desk and motioned for the brunette to follow her. They walked to the back of the shop, where there was various vases filled with different coloured roses in each one. Alex felt in his gay prime standing there, but a smile crept onto his face when he silently acknowledged that this was all for Jack. He pointed out the red one he thought looked the nicest, paid and left, just in time to receive the text saying the cookie was ready. It looked like he was ready to go.

Two hours later, Alex was sat in his room trying to muster up the balls to go and see Jack. Everything was set up and ready in front of him, but he was sitting on the floor of his room biting his nails nervously. What if he didn't accept his apology? What if he didn't want him back? What if he was doing fine on his own? Alex groaned out loud, trying to push all his worries out of his mind. He could only hope for the outcome he wanted, but he needs Jack. The brunette couldn't go any longer without the younger boy in his life. He missed the goofy laugh and stupid dick jokes. He missed the BONER shirts and watching Home Alone. He missed the way he didn't quite fit in the car and the way he would fiddle with the radio. He missed everything about him, and his life was incomplete without him.
Taking a deep breath, Alex stood up and stretched his aching muscles, before checking his hair and clothes in the mirror. After fixing the pieces in the wrong place and changing his shirt, he decided to go for it. He carefully picked up the cookie box, slotting it into the lid so it was open, and placed the bear in the corner so you could still see everything. The rose slotted between his teeth, making sure he kept his lips away from the thorns before he made his way out of the door - with a little bit of help from his mum. Still deep breathing, he took the long away up and down the driveways, and suddenly he was stood at the door of the Barakat household. This was it. It was either going to go really well or really badly. And he couldn't predict which way it would go. But he had to try.
Balancing the cookie on one arm, he reached up and rang the doorbell. There was no going back now. He set himself up again, cookie and bear in his arms, rose in his mouth, as he waited for the door to open. The only thing he could hear was the beating of his heart as it pumped a mile a minute, making his blood flow quickly around his body. Time seemed to slow down as nothing happened, and he was stood there staring blankly at the door, hoping for the best but expecting the worst. It felt like he had been standing there hours, despite it really only being a few moments, and just before he turned to give up, the door swung open. Before him stood Jack. The boy he missed more than anything, the boy he wanted in his arms, the boy he was falling for. He still looked rough, and tired, but his eyes were no longer bloodshot, and he didn't have his glasses on. To Alex, he still looked like the most beautiful, majestic creature to have ever walked the planet. If only he could show him that. Jack frowned slightly as he took in Alex at the door, his eyes dancing over what was held in his hands. This was it, his only chance. Mumbling round the rose, he greeted him, gazing up at the taller boy.
"Hey Jack."

Notes

happy mother's day!
*thank you sososososo much to everyone that has commented, voted and subscribed, it means the world to me and honestly makes me smile when i see it so thank you! :3 enjoy xoxo*