Long Live Us

*Alex pov*

"You look after him, okay? Or I’ll fly my butt right back over here and sort you out.” Josh told Alex sternly, making the elder blush and look down. He felt like he was being told off, but he knew he would do whatever he needed to do to look after Jack. Even standing this far away from him right now hurt, it felt wrong. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and protect him, to shoo all the bad emotions away as replace them with his love for him.
"I will, I promise." Alex murmured back to Josh, gazing up at Jack to show he meant it. Which he definitely did. Josh gave him a nod before picking up his bags and the five boys began walking towards the gate. Alex glanced up when he felt Jack stand next to him, and the older boy put his arm around the taller boy’s waist, holding him closer. Rian and Zack took a step back so that the four boys were standing in a row, all staring straight ahead. Alex’s heart broke a little as he watched them all wave, before turn around and walk through the door, which then swung shut behind them as they vanished from view. His heart broke even more when he heard a sniffle from Jack, and noticed tears roll down the side of his face.
When he first arrived, he wouldn’t have ever guessed that Jack and Josh were as close as they were. That was something he had learned, that you can’t always guess these things. Maybe you wouldn’t put them together, or wouldn’t think they would get on, but these two did. Alex would probably never know or understand what they had done for one another, or how much they relied on the other, and that was the beauty about friendships. It was only shared between those two people, and nobody else. Not a single other soul would understand exactly how you felt towards the friend; nobody would be able to untangle the web that held you together. And that was what Jack and Josh had. It wasn’t obvious to the outside world; but it was there.
After a few minutes of thoughtful silence, Zack said they should probably all go home.
“Come guys, let’s go home.” They all turned to leave, except Jack, who remained frozen on the spot, still quietly crying, his eyes locked on the door. Alex nodded to Rian and Zack and told them just to go on, so they did, whilst Alex turned round to talk to the taller boy. It hurt Alex to see him this hurt. Nothing he could do or say would help, which made him feel worse.
“Come on Jay, let’s go home. We can put on a movie or something, yeah?” Alex said gently, searching Jack’s gaze for a hint that he had even heard. It took a few moments, but the dark haired boy finally nodded, slowly traipsing after Alex as the brunette led him out of the airport. They reached the car and began the journey home. Jack sat in the car hugging his knees to his chest, just staring blankly at the dash board in front of him, not saying a word the whole time. It seemed he had stopped crying, which was obviously a good thing, but Alex had no idea how long it would take for the Jack he knew and loved to come back through. He was searching every inch of his mind to find something that could possibly help, but then he knew deep down that he could search forever and still not find anything.
When they reached the house, Alex opted for going to his, seeing as his parents were out anyway, so he could look after Jack better. He led the distraught boy up the driveway and into the house, shutting the door quietly behind them. Alex decided to take him upstairs, and let him just wander up the stairs behind him. It felt like Jack wasn’t there, like his soul was somewhere else, and it was just a hallucination of his body walking around with the brunette boy. They reached Alex’s room and Jack just flopped down on the bed, sitting on the edge, staring blankly at the floor in front of him.
“I’m going to make tea.” Alex mumbled, quickly walking out of the room and going back down the stairs. As he waited for the kettle to boil, he wondered what he could do to help. Part of him hoped that in the future he would know exactly what to do immediately, yet he never wanted to endure this feeling of worthlessness if he ever got this upset again. The kettle popped, and Alex poured two cups of tea, knowing that tea always made him feel better, so he hoped it would have the same effect on the dark haired boy sitting upstairs. Once he was finished, he walked back up into his room, shutting the door with a swing of his hips and making his way over to the bed. When he turned around to check on Jack, he was glad to see he had perked up slightly. His gaze was still dark, but it was now dancing over Alex’s body rather than the floor, and he had taken his shoes off, his toes wiggling a bit. Smiling, the older boy put the mugs on the bed side table.
“I made tea.” He said simply, unable to keep the grin off of his face as he took a sip from his mug, letting the warmth spread to his fingers.
“C’mere.” Was all Jack said, lifting up his arms, clenching and unclenching his hands. Alex did as he said, putting his tea back down, and wandering over. He linked their fingers together; unsure of what was actually going on, getting lost in the boys’ deep brown eyes as he looked up at him. His hands tingled where their skin met, and a smile broke out across his face like it always did. Alex admired every feature on Jack’s face; the way his dark hair fell over his forehead, how thick his eyebrows are, the way his nose was almost slightly too big for his face, and how stubble dotted his chin. Every bone in Alex’s body ached for the boy sitting in front of him. He wanted to know every inch of him, to be next to him when he woke up every day, to be able to express how beautiful he was too him.
‘Not yet.’ He reminded himself, feeling a blush creep onto his cheeks at the thought of how much Jack meant to him. He was cut from his thoughts when Jack pulled on his hand sharply, bringing their faces crashing together, meeting together at the lips. Instantaneously, their lips moved together, the usual sparks flying between them. Alex hummed gently against the younger boys’ lips, forgetting the events of the day. Jack’s hands moved down Alex’s back and landing on his hips, before he hooked up his legs and moved them so the brunette was straddling him. The kiss deepened and Alex twirled some of Jack’s black hair in his fingers. His mind was buzzing as he got lost in the moment, enjoying the movement of their lips together, lusting for more. As he was about to drag his finger down Jack’s chest in a hope to make it go further, the dark haired boy pulled away, a glint in his eyes.
“You promised me a movie.” He said, a smirk forming on his lips. Alex stared blankly back at him, before shaking his head.
“You fucking tease.” He muttered, before getting up and setting the xbox up with Netflix on. He grabbed one of the remotes, still shaking his head slightly in annoyance at Jack’s actions. Said boy was now stripping down to his boxers, clambering under the covers and patting the spot next to him, his lips broken in a grin. Alex glared at him, chucked him the remote and swapped his jeans and shirt for one of his old pullovers, which was way too big for him, before climbing onto the bed next to Jack. The opening of Fast And Furious started, and Alex curled up next to Jack as he pulled the cover over them. The taller boy began to run his hand up and down Alex’s leg, ghostly running his finger near his thigh, before going back down to his knee.
“Don’t you fucking dare.” Alex growled, fighting every hormone in his body to stop himself getting to excited, and the frustration was evident in his voice. Once again he glared at Jack when he laughed, before he pressed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose, making Alex blush and ruin his angry face with a small smile. Why did he have to be so cute?
“Thank you for being here for me today.” The dark haired boy mumbled, looking down slightly, embarrassment edging his voice.
“It’s fine. I want to be there for you.” Alex replied, linking their fingers together and turning his attention back towards the screen. And that was how they spent the rest of the evening.

The following morning Alex woke up to find himself still curled up in Jack’s arms, and he guessed they had both fallen asleep during one of the films. Leaning over to the table, Alex grabbed his phone to check what was going on and what time it was. Surprisingly, it was already midday, meaning they’d slept for absolutely ages. The top of his notifications was a text from Tay, telling him that she and Jenna were coming to spend the day with the boys, and that they were thinking of going bowling or to the cinema or something. Groaning, Alex fell back to his original position, not wanting to move. He was warm, comfortable, and with Jack. Why would anyone try and take that away from him?
“What’s wrong?” Jack’s sleepy voice sounded from above him, making Alex twist his head to see him. He looked a lot better, and brighter, than he had done yesterday, but he still looked tired.
“Jenna and Tay want to see us today.” He announced, showing him the text. Jack reacted in exactly the same way, with a long, loud groan whilst he ran a hand through his hair.
“Fuck’s sake.” He muttered, before rolling over and nestling his head into Alex’s chest. “Don’t wanna.” Was what he mumbled after he was comfy, the vibrations from him talking bouncing against Alex’s chest.
“They’ll flip if we don’t.” He commented, running a hand through the raven locks next to him. Jack said something inaudible against his chest, and Alex sighed heavily. He sighed again, soon followed by Jack, when the doorbell went. Alex heard his mum answer the door, and after a few moments the door shut again, and there was the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs.
“Brace yourself.” The brunette warned Jack, who just groaned in response, his hand clutching onto Alex’s shirt a bit tighter. He wished this moment wasn’t ever going to be ruined; this felt like it was just them in the whole world. Snuggled up in bed after an evening of movies, waking up together, and spending the day together. But no.
‘Girls, eh?’ he said to himself, looking up at the door as the two girls emerged. They both waltzed in, not bothering to knock, and Jenna had to slap her hand over her mouth to stop a squeal when she saw them curled up together. Alex chuckled slightly, the movement of his chest disturbing Jack, making him groan again.
“Is he asleep?” Jenna asked, looking sceptically at the boy lying next to Alex.
“Yes.” Jack answered before anyone else could, making Tay laugh. Alex let his fingers sort through the other boys’ hair again, twisting the soft locks around his index finger before watching them fall flat, then picking up another piece.
“I kinda feel like we should leave them to it.” Tay said softly to Jenna, making Alex smile pleadingly at them. Jack nodded against his chest as well, mumbling something again.
“Nahhh I wanna be mean. Get up boys.” Jenna said, smiling innocently at Alex, who pouted. Another groan erupted from Jack when the blonde girl took the covers of the bed, revealing how they were lying. Alex was still bottom half naked, except his boxers, and Jack only had his boxers on, their legs crossed over. The two girls just looked at each other and exchanged a silent message, which honestly Alex didn’t want to know, so he ushered Jack out of the bed to get ready, as it looked like they weren’t going to be able to get out of this one. Jack stuck his bottom lip out as Alex got out of the bed, leaving him sitting on the edge, whilst the older boy found some decent clothes to put on. It looked like it was going to be a long day.

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Monday morning had returned, once again, and Alex woke up in an absolutely crap mood. Before he even got out of bed he knew that the day was going to be shit, and he debated trying to pull a sicky so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. It was going to be different anyway, without Josh and the others there, but it was going to be shit. The boy had woken up with anger already pulsating around his body, and with a cynical outlook on life.
‘Brilliant,’ he thought, as he dragged himself out of bed to get ready. He did his usual morning routine, but when he went to put his suit on, he found that he didn’t have a shirt. First thing to go wrong. Angry for this unknown reason, Alex stomped down the stairs and grabbed a shirt from the rail, before returning to his room and finishing getting ready. The next thing to go wrong was the popping noise that happened when he turned his straighteners on, signalling the fuse blowing. Alex groaned loudly and unplugged them, before rummaging around his wardrobe for a beanie. Finding a grey one, he put it on over his messy hair, hiding the disaster from the rest of the world. As he went to unplug his phone so he could leave, he noticed the plug wasn't turned on, and his phone was on 17% battery, the bar red.
"Oh Jesus Christ." Alex muttered, finding his car charger and his bag before going downstairs, grabbing the flask of tea his mum had made along with a slice of toast.
Walking out the door he saw that Jack was already at his car waiting for him, looking elegant and beautiful - as always. He had a black beanie perched on the back of his head, seemingly not so desperate to cover his hair as Alex was, and his shoulders were slightly dropped, which was understandable seeing how much he must be missing Josh. Any anger melted momentarily when he greeted the taller boy and they got into the car, but the flame lit up again when he twisted the key and the engine spluttered. So now the car wasn't starting.
After three more times of trying, Alex went round to the front and flung the bonnet open. He was surprised it didn't fling off with the amount of force he applied, before checking everything looked okay. When it did, he walked back round, climbed in and slammed the door, ignoring the wide eyes of the boy in the seat next to him. Alex rarely got mad, and when he did it was normally on days just like this one. It took another three attempts at starting before the car started, and the pair started on their way. The brunette's knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel, and he was fighting the muscles in his leg just too push the left pedal to the ground. He zoned out everything, except trying not to crash, ignoring Jack's phone when it rang until they finally got to school. Alex quickly leaped out the car and slammed the door, Jack following a lot more slowly and tentatively, his eyes wide and nervous. Huffing loudly, Alex ignored him and stomped off towards school and straight to form, only just beating the bell.
He threw his bag down and sat down, not meeting anyone's gaze, and just staring at the blank whiteboard. Despite his hatred for being angry, Alex couldn't control this. Every tiny thing seemed to be ridiculously annoying today. The way not everything had been wiped off of the board, leaving black marks everywhere. The way one of the lights was flickering. The way Mr Wilkinson was just as happy as always.
‘Why me?’ he internally groaned, crossing his arms on the desk and resting his chin on them. The teacher began taking the register, and Alex grunted just about loud enough so his existence could be acknowledged, which warned everyone of his foul mood. Which he was fine with. It meant they would leave him alone. Or so he hoped, anyway.
Once the bell signalling the end of registration rang, everyone stood up and began making their way to first period. Alex noticed Jack hesitate at the door, looking back at him, as the brunette decided to drag his feet and walk as slowly as possible to the door. Jack’s body jolted slightly, and he turned and walked away, probably dragged away by Rian. Shrugging, Alex followed the rest of the form out, pulling the edges of his beanie further down over his head. Momentarily, bunking crossed his mind, and the thought of running down to the highstreet and sitting in Starbucks was very appealing, but his better judgement got the best of him, and he trudged on to music. He barely beat the bell – for the second time that morning – and plopped down in his usual seat next to Tay. The short girl looked him up and down, her eyes narrowing slightly, before she rolled her eyes and turned her back on him. He rolled his eyes at her back, before turning onto the desk and getting out his music theory book and taking notes, ignoring the lesson completely, zoning everyone else out. This was the only was his mood would improve, but that didn’t look likely.

The final bell signalling school finishing had gone, and the class was bolting out of the door, rushing to get home. Once again, Jack hesitated, silently checking that everything was going on as usual. Alex just nodded at him, his nervousness around him now getting annoying, as they walked out of the school. All the older boy wanted was a hot, angry make out session, or something. That would definitely take his mind off any bad things. On the way home he mustered up a plan so that this desire could be put into action, and when he pulled into his driveway, he just grabbed Jack’s wrist and pulled him to his own house. As the taller boy fumbled with the keys, he looked really nervous, like something else had happened or was about to happen. And as the door swung open, Alex realised the car parked in the drive way. Jack’s mum was home. Unsure of why, or if, this was what was making the boy nervous, he followed him into the house, instantly being greeted by the women.
“Jack!” she said loudly, throwing herself into her son’s arms. Jack instantly returned the hug, and most of the tension left his shoulders. Alex just stood there awkwardly, trying not to let his mind drift to far, while they greeted each other for the first time in months. He felt like he should go, but his bad mood and desperate lust for Jack prevented him from doing so. Politely, he decided to go upstairs and wait for Jack there, so he didn’t feel quite as intruding. He shrugged his blazer off and dropped it over where he put his bag, and rolled up the sleeves on his shirt so he was more comfortable. Flexing his arm, he marvelled at how his muscles tensed, before he undid his top button and loosened his tie, keeping the beanie firmly seated over his hair.
Standing in front of the mirror, he let his eyes drift over his tense body. He really was in a foul mood, it was obvious, and he felt kinda bad for everyone he would have passed it on to today.
Minutes later Jack emerged, entering the room with a small smile on his face, his eyes brighter than they had been all day. He dumped his bag by the cupboard and took his blazer off, flinging it on the chair before rolling his shoulders. Sighing contently, he looked at Alex.
“So, what chu wanna d-“ The shorter boy cut him off by swiftly closing the distance between them and pulling Jack’s face down closer to his, and connecting their lips. Anger seemed to dissolve off of him as he melted into the younger boy’s touch; this seemed to be his cure. Jack happily returned the kiss, keeping his hands on Alex’s hips, in their usual place, where it felt so natural for them to be. When the broke apart, Jack’s cheeks had turned a much more obvious red colour.
“That’s what you want to do.” He chuckled, taking his own beanie off and flinging it across the room before running his hands through his hair.
“I’ll do that.” Alex muttered, removing Jack’s hands and replacing them with his own, threading his fingers through the dark locks as their lips were re connected. The taller boy kicked the door closed, ensuring it didn’t slam, before returning all his attention to Alex. Deciding to take dominance, mainly so he could get what he wanted, Alex pushed Jack backwards until the back of his legs hit the bed and they fell, rolling onto the bed, their lips not coming apart. Finally where he wanted everything to be, Alex ran his hand down Jack’s chest and back up to his neck, pulling on his tie to loosen it more so he could reach the button’s underneath. After the first two, Jack hummed and pushed him away. His eyebrows were together in a frown as their eyes met, and Alex’s bad mood immediately returned to full blast.
“What is it?” He asked bitterly, annoyed that he had been stopped.
“My mum’s downstairs..” Jack stated, like it was really obvious.
“So?” Alex replied, giving a small shrug and narrowing his eyes. This wasn’t something he cared about right now. Why did the small things always worry Jack? Couldn’t he just play along for one day, especially since the mood Alex was in?
“She might walk in...” Jack said again, nerves flowing off him, annoying the brunette even more.
“And?”
“Well, it’ll look, er, kinda....weird...” the dark haired boy began to stutter and pause between words, uncertain of how to phrase what he was trying to say. Confusion and worry was etched across his face, but Alex didn’t care.
“Oh for fuck’s sake. Whatever.” The older boy said, throwing his arms in the air and getting off Jack, grabbing his blazer and putting it on, before turning around and confronting the taller boy once more.
“This is becoming a joke. Man the fuck up, I’m sick and tired of this bullshit you keep giving me.” He was taken aback slightly at how bitter he was, and how angry he felt, and he knew he was probably going to say something he would regret, but his anger needed a way out – and it seemed to be towards Jack. The dark haired boy was still sat on the bed, eyes wide and he was shaking slightly. After a few moments of silence, Alex hadn’t calmed down, and he couldn’t stop himself from lashing out once more.
“Now your mums back I'm flung away like a piece of shit again, am I? Oh yes, because being gay is such a bad thing, it's disgusting isn't it? Oh imagine two males having any intimacy! Imagine actually being gay! Get over it Jack, or nothing will happen. Maybe I got my hopes up about us!" He motioned between them, glaring at Jack once more.
“But, Alex, ..what the hell?” Jack started, frowning, but still shaking slightly.
“Is this all to do with me? What have I done?” he asked gently, standing up and trying to take a step towards Alex.
“Not everything is about you!” the brunette spat back, making the dark haired boy step back again. “I’m going home.” Alex stated, before grabbing his bag and walking out. He walked straight down the stairs, out the door, through the hedge, and into his own house. Running up to his room, he threw his bag down and stripped off his blazer, flung his beanie at the wardrobe and sat down in the bed. Rubbing his face with his hands, he tried to calm himself down enough to work out what to do, but just couldn't. All he could think about was the thought that Jack was obviously still ashamed about the idea of being gay, and obviously being with Alex wasn't something he wanted badly enough. As much as the brunette should probably be upset, he was more angry. Livid that he had fallen so hard for someone who wouldn't catch him. Gutted that he had gotten his hopes up so high, just for them to come crashing down. Maybe he was wrong to think something would happen between them. Maybe it wasn't meant to be...

Notes

oops!
(sorry this update took so long, had a busy week xoxo)