Long Live Us

*Jack POV*

After a long, tiring weekend it was Monday once more. Jack was sitting in music with Jenna, watching her tap away as she sorted out her music. The dark haired boy loved this - because he literally had to do nothing. There was something at the back of his mind telling him that he did have something he needed to remember, but as always he had forgotten, so shrugged it off. He chuckled to himself when he looked over and saw Rian with Cass, the newly formed couple being the talk of the year group. They were super cute, and everyone was glad Rian had finally asked her out. The short haired boy had been ecstatic after she had yes, which Jack would probably have found a bit cringey if it wasn't his best mate. But he did have to admit that he thought they were cute together, and he was chuffed for both of them.
Yawning, Jack rested his head on the side of Jenna’s shoulder and shut his eyes, allowing his mind to wander into a day dream to kill time. He thought that he could get his book and draw something, but then settled on day dreaming as it required less effort. Jack’s mind wandered to Alex, like it nearly always did, and he smiled to himself at the thought of the brunette boy. After scolding him for being such a chesseball, he started to ponder over if anything would ever happen. Jack knew that he liked him, that much was certain, but would he be able to convert that into a relationship? He’d always had commitment issues anyway, on top of that being unsure of his sexuality – it sounded like a disaster in his mind. As much as he wanted it to happen, he would forever doubt himself.
“Well our guitarist is asleep.” Jack heard Alex say, making him open one of his eyes. His fringe was falling over his face and he couldn’t see anything, so he lifted his hand to his face and pushed the dark hair away from his face and turned around.
“Me?” he mumbled sleepily, frowning when he saw Zack standing next to Alex and Rian. Then he remembered what he had forgotten. They were meant to be performing today.
‘Shit.’ he cursed himself, standing up and stretching, lifting his arms high above his head. Jenna poked his hips which made him yelp and jump away, making the blonde girl laugh like it always did. Rolling his eyes, Jack joined the three boys and asked what was happening.
“We’re setting up now.” Rian stated, shaking his head at Jack before leading Zack away to the back of the classroom. Jack looked up at Alex and was instantly worried. His head was low, his teeth biting nervously around the edge of his finger, the other hand stuffed into his pocket, but Jack could see his arm shaking slightly. They were doing an original song, that Alex had written, so it was understandable why he was nervous. Gently, Jack led the boy out of the room and shut the door, so they were alone in the corridor. Worry was flowing through the taller boys’ body, and nothing in hid mind was working except to help Alex. So he did the only thing he could think of. Slowly, he brought his hand to the brunettes face, making him look up. His brown eyes were wide, and they were dark with anxiety. Praying that this would make things better and not worse, Jack leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Alex’s. It took a moment, but he felt the older boy relax and his lips returned the movement before the taller boy moved away. His lips broke into a smile when he saw the smile on Alex’s lips, and he was quite proud of himself for being able to help. Nudging his nose against Alex’s, Jack turned to lead the boy back into the classroom, both now filled with that extra confidence and ecstasy. It looked like Jack may have just found a cure for the boy’s anxiety.
“Alexander Gaskarth. 5096.”
“Robert Dawson. 5079.”
“Jack Barakat. 5022.”
“Zachary Merrick. External.”
“We’re All Time Low, and this song’s called Actors.” The band members introduced themselves, and Alex introduced the song, before Rian counted them in. The brunette seemed to be okay, which Jack was glad about, and there was a new found confidence in him as the song started. His voice was projected further, and sounded better than before, and he didn’t find the need to close his eyes the whole time. Jack smiled as he watched him perform, enter this little world of his own that he had around him, which the taller boy found himself desperately wanting to be a part of.
“Safe little house, safe little friends, safe little thoughts to keep you safe, from all those big bad wolves, that eat you up. Safe in your room, safe as a tomb, sleep in a coffin made of glass, it takes a big façade to hide the cracks. Can you make, this last, 'cause now I'm not so sure, are you up, to the task, sometimes the sickness is the cure, you're searching so hard, you've lost yourself. Does it help you to play. As you're wasting away, like a silver-screen cliché, 'Cause after all we're actors on a stage, would it help you to wait, for the moment to break, is it real or is it fake? All we are just chapters on a page, ‘cause after all, we're actors on a stage. Here in the now, shedding the doubtsThere'll be no past or future tense, regrets are waste of time, and plans will change. Oh, some for the worst, some for the best, You know you can't always get your way, So worried about what's nextYou lost today. Can you make, this last, 'Cause now I'm not so sure, Are you up, to the task, Sometimes the sickness is the cure, You're searching so hard, You've lost yourself. Does it help to play, As you're wasting away, Like a silver-screen cliché, 'Cause after all we're actors on a stage, Would it help you to wait, For the moment to break, Is it real or is it fake? All we are just chapters on a page. 'Cause after all we're actors on a stage. Can you let yourself, Can you let yourself, Will you let yourself, Will you let yourself, Let go, let go, Can you let yourself, Can you let yourself, Would you let yourself, Just let yourself, Let go, let go. Safe little house, Safe little friends, Safe little thoughts to keep you safe. Does it help you to play, As you're wasting away, Like a silver-screen cliché, 'Cause after all we're actors on a stage, Would it help you to wait, For the moment to break, Is it real or is it fake? All we are just chapters on a page. Does it help you to play, As you're fading away, Like a memory, 'Cause all we are just chapters on a page, And after all we're actors on a stage.”
The song ended and the class cheered, and the grin plastered on Jack’s face grew even wider as he turned back to look at his three friends. This time it was Alex who started the group bundle, running across the room and leaving his guitar by the mic, and flying into Jack. The dark haired boy welcomed his touch, letting their limbs collide and wrap round one another before Zack and Rian joined in. Alex was squealing happily into Jack’s ear, making him chuckle. The feeling felt by the four of them in these moments was the best thing ever, and each one of them felt the same. Or at least Jack hoped they did. The four boys untangled themselves, four smiles not leaving their faces as they once more began to mingle with the class. Once again the rest of the lesson was just an excitement filled frenzy of people running around and hugging and congratulating and questioning. But Jack wouldn’t swap it for the world. This was what he wanted to do forever. Make music, and make people happy. And nothing would stop him from following that dream.

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That Saturday was going to be a shitty day and Jack knew it. He was currently sitting in the therapy waiting room, waiting for Penny to finish with the new person who had started in the time slot before him, and when they were done he would he heading over to the airport with the gang to see Josh, Dan, Max, Matt and Chris off. Huffing loudly, Jack pulled his feet up onto the chair and rested his chin on his knees, rocking gently. He kind of wished Alex was here, someone to cuddle up to and help him feel complete. It really felt like Josh was taking a bit of Jack with him, but the lanky boy was trying not to think about his friend being a whole ocean away. Jack wondered what he could talk to Penny about, because it had been a pretty average and boring week. He would happily spend the session just talking about Alex, but he was certain Penny was getting annoyed at his infatuation with the boy.
‘She’ll just have to get used to it.’ He told himself, watching as the person exited the room. It was a really tall, middle aged man. The stench of alcohol clung to his scrawny clothes, and his eyes looked painful and bloodshot. Jack averted his gaze, slightly intimidated by the man while he walked past him, then got up and pushed his way through the door towards Penny’s room.
“Hello Jack!” she greeted as he emerged into the familiar room, flopping down on the chair.
“Sup.” He replied, sinking into the chair, wishing he could still be in bed rather than face this dreaded day.
“What’s wrong?” The women asked, spinning around on the chair so she was facing Jack.
“Josh and that lot leave today.” He replied simply, knowing she would understand. It was actually kind of weird how she knew everything about his life. It freaked him out a little bit, but then at the same time it was her job, so it was kind of normal. She shot him a sad smile in reply. Another thing she knew: when to and when not to speak. They let the silence spread for a few minutes, and Jack could feel Penny’s eyes dance over him, taking in every single thing about his body language. Sometimes he wished he studied psychology, because it did seem interesting, just not very appealing. His brain would probably explode if he felt like he could read the body language of every single person.
After a few minutes of silence they started small talk, about school, the weather and various other boring topics. Soon enough, the session was over and it was time for Jack to leave, but he knew that would mean saying goodbye to the five boys. Which he didn't want to do.
"Everything will be fine." Penny reassured the tall boy as he left. He smiled sadly at her, before turning and walking out the door. When he reached the front door he pulled his hood over his head and stuffed his hands into his pockets, because he hated the feeling of cold hands. Jack looked up to check if he would need to run for the bus, but his eyes met Alex's figure, standing by his car. The brunette smiled happily, and he looked almost proud of himself. Jack frowned, confused, was he even here for him? Hesitantly he walked over, keeping his gaze locked with Alex's.
"Why are you acting like in some weirdo? I've come to pick you up!" The shorter boy said once Jack was close enough so he didn't have too talk loudly. After he had spoken Jack relaxed, now assured that he wasn't here for someone else, but still slightly unsettled that he was here. He hated the thought of anyone knowing about therapy, and even though he trusted the shorter boy standing in front of him, Jack was not prepared to break down that wall. Not yet anyway.
"Come on Jay. I thought we could have lunch together before we go to the airport?" He suggested, blushing slightly and looking up at the dark haired boy with worry filled eyes. Why he was worried Jack didn't know, but he accepted the offer anyway, climbing into the car.

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A few hours later everyone was standing in the airport, a few metres away from the door leading to departures. Once the five boys walked through that door they were gone. Jack would no longer be able to call any of them up whenever he wanted, or turn up and their houses uninvited, or join in with football arguments. He would miss everything about them. It already felt like there was a massive void in his life where they once were, and they hadn't even left yet. Jack was standing close to Alex, their hands brushing together, with Rian and Zack standing just in front of them. Josh, Dan, Max, Matt and Chris were sorting out their luggage, watching it get carried away down the conveyer belt. Jack smiled at the memory of always saying bye bye to the bag as it disappeared as a kid, it was something him, Joe and May always used to do when they went on holiday. Sighing, he watched the five boys return, less weighed down.
"We need to check the flight thing on the screen." Matt said, acting as the sensible one and looking up at the screen hanging from the ceiling. Everybody's eyes scanned the list for the right one.
'Chicago, Los Angeles, Toronto, Rio, Calais, Dublin, London.' Jack stopped reading when he found it, and saw the green don't telling them that the gate was open. This was it. They were going. The boys slowly began saying their farewells, hugging each other and wishing everyone the best. There was a sad tension hovering in the air, but everyone kept smiles plastered on their faces. Jack was great at fake smiling, and could do it with ease. However, his smile faltered when it was just Josh left to say bye too. It seemed like everyone moved away slightly. Jack stared sadly into the eyes he knew so well. His mind flashed with all the memories they had, all the classes they had spent together, all the laughs, all the jokes, all the singing, all the playstation. All the everything. He felt his eyes fill with tears as Josh just shook his head and smiled sadly up at the taller boy before bringing him in for a hug. Jack wrapped his arms around the shorter boy at let the tears flow from his eyes.
“Don’t leave me.” He choked, tightening his grip on Josh. The brown haired boy chuckled and shook his head once more.
“You’ll be fine, Jack. You have Alex now, don’t you?”
“But he’s not you.” The dark haired boy grumbled back, “He’s not my Papa.” Another tear fell down his cheek as he imagined fighting any battles without Josh by his side.
“Stop crying on me you doofus, you’ll make me cry. You’ve become a right softy now you know you’re gay.” He said in Jack’s ear with a chuckle, making his chuckle as well.
“Shut up Josh that’s racism.” He retorted sarcastically, withdrawing his arms to once again look at the boy. Josh’s eyes were also brimming with tears now, making Jack want to cry out even more.
“Life’s a bitch.” He replied with an innocent shrug, pursing his lips together slightly and raising his eyebrows.
“But I’m friends with her sister!” Jack said back, pouting and frowning, recalling something Josh used to say all the time. After they both laughed, silence fell over them once more, and it became the final moments. If anyone had ever wanted time to slow down, it was Jack right now. He wished every second would last that much longer, so he could be standing here in the presence of Josh for that extra time. The voice from the speakers boomed out over the airport, calling their flight, and the boys started to re-gather their bags.
“Stay safe okay? And call me and shit whenever you need me, okay? And look after everyone, and yourself, and go to school and do your work, yes?” Josh told him sternly, being deadly serious, which made Jack laugh.
“Yes, Dad!” he said, rolling his eyes, and ruffling his hair – making him huff and groan back and flap his hands to get him away. They hugged once more, mumbling goodbye’s too each other, not being able to find the words to say what they wanted to say.
“Let yourself fall, Jack. Fall for him. He’ll catch you, I know he will.” Josh told him, and Jack held back a sob as he nodded his head. Every emotion he had been feeling recently was churning around in his body once more – fear, love, panic, sadness, anxiety, happiness. All of it. In that moment he knew he wanted Alex – he needed him – and Josh knew that. This was him telling Jack that everything was okay. That this was what was needed. That it will happen, if he lets it. And maybe he would, for his departing best friend. When Matt told them to hurry up, they pulled away and Josh gave him a quick wink before turning and facing Alex.
“You look after him, okay? Or I’ll fly my butt right back over here and sort you out.” He told the brunette, who nodded and looked down, smiling shyly.
“I will, I promise.” He murmured, looking up at Jack with soft eyes, the smile still playing on his lips and his cheeks a touch pinker that normal from a blush.
“Good.” Josh concluded with a nod, before picking up his bag and following the other four boys towards the gate. Jack went and stood next to Alex, who snaked his arm around the taller boys’ waist as Rian and Zack stood next to them as they waved farewell. The tickets were handed over, they all had one look back, gave a wave and then disappeared. As the doors swung shut behind them, a few more tears fell down Jack’s cheeks, and he stared blankly at the door. A numbness overtook the boys body as he stood frozen, for however long he did, trying to believe it had happened.
'They've gone...'

Notes

so i saw All Time Low yesterday and they were amazing and i miss them already and i have a massive case of post concert depression so here's a new chapter, enjoy xoxoxox