Missing

''Thank you so much for this, it really means a lot to me,'' I thanked Sarah, hugging her for the one-hundredth time. It had taken some real convincing skills to get her to go through with this, but, for the sake of my happiness, she obliged. And, if I'm honest, I felt guilty.

Really guilty. I shouldn't be leaving my best friend like this. I shouldn't be expecting so many favours from her when I did none for her.

She laughed before sniffing up, ''So, when are you going to be back? And how're we going to pull this off?''

''Well, I think the tour ends in ten days, so I should be back then,'' I shrugged, wondering how I'd make it back here. ''And as for your other question - I want you to pretend I'm missing, like I said before. But you can say you lost me when I went off to that party and from then you'll just have to be convincing, that is, if they actually call the police,'' I rolled my eyes, they didn't care about me.

''I can't believe I'm agreeing to this,'' Sarah shook her head. ''Be careful, I don't wanna lose you,'' she sighed, ''And call me everyday!''

''I will! Shit, what time is it?'' I panicked.

''You better go,'' Sarah said, as I slung the heavy backpack over my shoulder. ''I'm gonna miss you, you little shit,'' she laughed weakly.

''I'll miss you too, Sarah. And I'll phone you everyday, promise,'' I smiled. ''And you better get out of here before we both get caught.''

''Yeah, I'm off,'' she nodded.

I walked through my bedroom door, stopping half-way so I could say one last thing, ''Also, I won't be telling the guys about this, as far as they know I've been granted full permission to go with them, so, don't say anything stupid, okay?''

''Alright,'' Sarah agreed flatly, no emotion spread across her face.

''Cya,'' I waved, walking down the stairs and out the front door.

Most of the walk down the path of my house consisted of me turning around to look back at it. Was I ever going to come back? I mean, would I make it back? Ugh, I didn't want to think about that right now. I scurried towards Jack's borrowed car and yanked the door open, shoving the bag in front of the seat and climbing in.

''Got everything?'' Jack joked, looking down at my bulging bag.

''Oh, shut up, would you,'' I laughed, playfully punching him in the arm.

''Oh, this is going to be so fun,'' Jack laughed. ''You're gonna love it, Joce,'' He said, as he started the car up.

-

''Okay, so your bunk will be here,'' Jack said, pointing to my small, designated sleeping quarters. It was a middle one; I hoped I wouldn't feel too claustrophobic. ''You can put your bags and stuff over here and just make yourself at home,'' Jack scratched the back of his neck, ''think I covered everything.''

''I think so too, thanks Jack,'' I said. Alex's whereabouts were stuck at the back of my mind.

''If you want me just shout,'' he said, ''wait, I know you want me,'' he laughed, trying to pull off a seductive tone and winking at me.

I couldn't help but burst out into laughter, Jack was so immature. I was laughing so hard I was holding my sides. The fact that Jack kept spilling out innuendos and sexual jokes didn't make my condition any better. ''Jack, o-oh my God, I'm gonna die, stop!'' I cried.

The hours passed on and there was still no sign of Alex.

Me, Rian, Zack, Jack and a couple of other people, who I didn't bother to get the names of, were all sat in the front lounge, chatting and joking about pointless things.

''Hey, Joce, you're pretty lucky Alex and Jack invited you to come with us, they've never really invited a fan before,'' Rian said.

''Well, she's more than a friend, I guess..'' Jack said, ''She's really cool, Alex told me all about her.''

I couldn't help but blush. Alex talked to Jack about me?

No, are you high? You're a piece of shit and he's probably only inviting you because he feels bad for what dad does. My conscience bullied me. But I never told Alex about my dad, all he knows about is the bullying I endured when in highschool.

Maybe he missed me... Haha, no, You only talked to him for about ten minutes when you first met him. You were just a foolish teenager, hoping that you could get some sort of sympathy out of him if you told him about how sad you and your pathetic life were.

I shook my head, in attempt to scare the voice away; the voice that invades my life and doesn't fail to bring me down every single day.

''Jocelyn?'' Jack questioned my silence.

''Sorry, zoned out. What were you saying?'' God, I am not mentally well.

''I was just saying how you and Alex stayed in touch through twitter,'' Jack said, taking a sip of his beer.

''Um, yeah, we're good friends,'' I smiled.

''I think that was really sweet of Alex,'' The girl next to Rian said, Cassadee, I think her name was. I think it's his girlfriend, too. ''How he could relate to what you told him.''

''What do you mean?'' I asked, leaning forward and grabbing my coke to take a sip.

''Cause' Alex got bullied in school, too,'' Zack explained.

''Oh, did he?'' I said, trying to make my tone sound as sorry as possible, but right now, all I wanted to do was punch Alex in the face. And I've never wanted to do that before.
How could he tell Jack about this? I thought he'd keep it between us, I guess I was wrong. I wasn't even all that mad at Jack for telling everyone else, I blamed Alex more.

''Guys, I'm having a blast, but I think I'll go for a walk,'' I said, pulling on my shoes and opening the tour bus' door.

''Okay, want me to come?'' Jack offered.

''No, don't be silly! I'll only be five minutes,'' I said, taking a step out into the freezing cold. For five-thirty it was pretty dark. That's January for you.

I needed this air; I was so steamed and furious at Alex for telling Jack. But it was more embarrassment than it was anger. Now everyone knew. Everyone knew about how I let those girls walk all over me, how I-

Jocelyn, you're blowing this out of proportion. I don't think Alex told Jack that much, and you know for a fact that Jack didn't tell anyone else in that room too much either.

Sometimes I wished my conscience would just fuck off. It's like it has a personality of it's own and I can't control it. God I'm so freaking insane.

As I walked down the side of the bus, I slammed straight into someone.

''Oh, sorry, I wasn'- Alex?''

''Hey Joce!'' he greeted me, holding out his arms for a hug.

But I decided to do the stupidest thing. Instead of returning the gesture and welcoming his hug, my hand swung upwards and connected with his face, hard.

Notes

cliffhanger! hehe cx
since it got so many reads I decided to updateeee c;