A Daydream Away

Alex’s POV

“Alex” I heard a soothing voice call out “Alex, everything’s okay. Everything’s fine. Remember how you said you went to that Foo Fighters concert? Can you tell me about that?” the voice said.
I thought about the concert. Remembering standing with my friend, Vic. I remembered when they played my favorite song by them. I remembered the bass in my veins and the drums in my heart.
I sucked in a breath, my eyes flying open. I saw Jack’s Saturday morning coffee eyes staring into mine, and a smile spread on to my face.
“Well hey there, glad you could join us.” Jack said, laughing quietly.
I laughed too, until I remembered why I was out in the first place.
“Oh my god. Jack.” I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position. I ran my hand through my hair, trying to figure out how to explain what happened without telling him I was a freak.
“I’m- look, you probably think I’m a freak-” I started, staring at anything but Jack.
“No, I don’t think you’re a freak at all.” Jack said soothingly. Our eyes finally locked and a small smile crept across his lips. I stared at them, forcing myself not to lean forward and feel his soft pink lips on mine. Our closeness was killing me, and it didn’t help that he had one of his hands gently placed on my lower thigh.
I sucked in a breath, finally tearing my gaze from his beautiful face.
“So um- clothes” I muttered, closing my eyes and shaking my head, trying to clear it of all the insane thoughts spinning through it.
“Yeah, uh I figured out how to use your dryer while you were out and my clothes are currently drying.” Jack said, standing up to get out of his kneeling position next to my couch.
“How- how long was I out?” I questioned, swinging my legs off the couch so they were planted on the ground.
“About 10 minutes” Jack said, suddenly avoiding my gaze.
I debated telling him exactly why I had passed out. I doubted he’d ever witnessed a panic attack before this, so maybe it was a good thing to let him know about them.
“I have… um I suffer from… I… basically, if I’m startled or nervous or worried or my hearts beating unusually fast, or even if I’m just alone for too long, I have a panic attack. I’ve had them since I was about 10.” I explained quietly, trying my best to tell him exactly what was going on without making myself look like a whimp.
He stood there silently for a moment, taking great interest in his shoes. Finally, he took a deep breath in and muttering quietly “So this is my fault?”
I was up and over to him before he could even finish his question.
“No. Jack, it’s not. You had no idea, and honestly, I don’t know why I had it. Rian and Zack do stuff like that all the time and I never respond like that. I’m probably just tired or something.” I said to him, trying to assure him that he wasn’t guilty of anything.
“But I- are you sure?” he said, finally looking up into my eyes. His deep brown eyes were like chocolate swimming pools, but now they were filled with guilt.
“Yes, I’m positive.” I stood there, staring into his eyes for a second before asking “are you hungry? We have stuff for sandwiches.”
Jack put on a small smile, but I could tell he still felt guilty. He offered to wash all of our dishes after we finished eating and even helped me pick up my room a little, since the dryer still hadn’t finished.
Soon after the dryer dinged and Jack changed, we were in my car heading to his house, which was only about 5 minutes from mine.
“So, who’s Vic?” Jack questioned, taking out a picture that was in the sun visor.
It was a picture of us at the Foo Fighters concert. We were both sweaty and shirtless from standing in the crowd for an hour and a half. His arm was draped around my shoulders and I had written our names and the date on the back, which was how Jack had seen the name.
“A friend from my old private school” I said, leaving out that he had been my first boyfriend and kiss.
Jack simply nodded, placing the picture back in its place. The next time we made eye contact, I spotted something I’d never seen before in his chocolate colored pools. I couldn’t place what it was.
We said our goodbyes, and he said his “thank you”s. As he ran into his house, my heart tugged towards his moving body, wishing more than anything that he would’ve stayed.
The rain had stopped, and I had at least 20 calls and texts from both Zack and Rian.
As soon as I got home, I called both of them, telling them to come over as soon as possible. I had things to tell them.
As soon as I got off the phone, I screamed, running around my room like a teenage girl who just got asked to prom by her crush.
So maybe I wasn’t asked to prom. Maybe it was just my little fantasies going crazy. Maybe I read the whole thing the wrong way. But I knew one thing for sure, I had spoken to, touched, and connected with Jack Barakat.
And that is something to scream about.

Notes