A Daydream Away

Alex’s POV

It had been 10 days since I’d walked away from Jack at the stupid garage. I hadn’t spoken to him, only sat next to him silence for 2 days in history before he requested a new seat closer to the front. He hadn’t tried to talk to me or call me since that night.
We hadn’t officially broken up, but what else would you call this? All I knew was that I was struggling to breathe next to him, and he wouldn’t even tilt his head in my direction when I walked by.
What was worse, having him ignore me when I thought he had no idea who I was, or having him ignore me when we’d went through hell and back with our fingers intertwined? I couldn’t decide.
My heart screamed at me to run to him and tell him that everything was okay, but somehow I was still numb. I couldn’t look at him without feeling like my lungs would shrivel up or my stomach would explode.
I hadn’t talked to any of my friends lately either. I sat in silence at our lunch table, ignoring their pleas for me to talk. Vic had tried texting and calling me, but I never answered. None of them actually knew what happened, but I didn’t want to talk about it. The only person who did know was my mom, but that was only because I collapsed into her arms in a bundle of tears, sobbing out the whole story because I couldn’t keep it bottled up anymore.
So now I was sitting at home, laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about the one person who’d been on my mind for the past ten days.
“Why would he keep that from me?” I wondered aloud. Talking to yourself was healthy, right?
“Well, he probably couldn’t tell me if he truly wanted to move on from his past. If he would’ve told me, I’d be worried… and then he’d be worried.” I rolled over onto my stomach.
“The Jack I know wouldn’t hurt me. Never.” I reassured myself. For the first time, I was totally confident in saying that.
“But do you still love him?”
“Yes.”
It wasn’t until my mom walked in and sat on the edge of my bed that I realized that I hadn’t been the one to ask the last question.
“Well, then I think you need to tell him that. You’ve been utterly miserable the last few days. Don’t let this one slip away.” She rubbed my back gently as she threw her advice into the open air.
“You’re right. But I have no idea what do say. I can’t just show up and be like ‘hey, I’m still in love with you’. I can’t make big speeches. I can never find the right words to say.”
Without speaking, my mom nodded her head over to my guitar and lyric notebook. For the first time in ages, I smiled, picking myself up from my depressive heap and moving towards my comfort place.
I didn’t notice my mom leave as I quickly scribbled down the thoughts in my head.
It wasn’t until the second chorus that my head snapped up, my eyes red from lack of blinking. I realized that before I said anything to Jack I was going to have to talk to someone else.
I stood up and grabbed my coat and my phone, quickly shooting a text to one of my less frequently spoken to contacts.
“Where are you going? Did you finish the song that quickly?” My mom shouted as I ran down the stairs.
“No! I have something to do!” I replied just as my phone buzzed with a reply “I’ll be back in like a half an hour!” I shouted, slamming the front door behind me.
I hopped in the car and made my way to the address my contact had sent me. It wasn’t long before I was in the driveway of an unfamiliar house and was making my way up to the front door.
I knocked twice, and composed myself as I heard footsteps walking towards the door.
It swung open and the person I’d intended to see was staring me in the face. At first, there was shock, and then his infamous smirk as he stepped out the door and pulled it shut.
“What do you want, fag?” Max asked, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
I smiled, ignoring the jab he made at me.
“Just to tell you that you’ve lost.” I said, making my voice as pleasant as possible.
“What the hell are you- how did you even find my house?” he grunted.
“Your friend Jason? Yeah, he doesn’t swing your way. I have his number and he owes me a few favors. Anyway, I came to tell you that, sorry, but there is nothing you can say that will make me stop loving Jack. Go ahead, try.” I said, turning my head to the side and waiting with a look of mock expectancy on my face.
Max narrowed his eyes, but didn’t respond.
I smirked. “Thought so. Anyway, I didn’t want you to be surprised later on so I thought I’d come tell you. That’s all, I guess all see you around.” And with that, I turned around on my heels and stepped off of his front porch, ignoring the daggers I knew he was staring into my back.
It wasn’t until I had almost closed my car door that Max finally spoke.
“You’re just a stupid fag. You know he’s going to hurt you! Fucking idiot!” he spurted out his hate, but this time, none of it even mattered.
So I closed my car door, turned on some My Chemical Romance, and started writing the next verse of Jack’s song in my head.
I cast Max on last look and almost laughed at his expression. For the first time in forever, he’d lost. Poor thing having to deal with life like the rest of us.
I backed of his driveway, middle finger held high. All I had to do now was finish the song and get back into Jack’s arms.
Easy as pie.

Notes