A Daydream Away

Alex's POV

I skipped school on Monday. Not necessarily because I still felt heartache, but because I knew seeing Jack again would bring back everything, and I’d be forced to feel it again.
Right now, I was back to being completely numb. It was kind of good, since numbness meant I didn’t feel like a dagger was stuck in my heart… but it also drove me insane because I couldn’t bring myself to laugh or smile.
Vic stayed with me, which helped a lot. He didn’t speak a lot, but when he did, he always found the perfect words to say.
“This house is driving me crazy.” I whispered, pulling up my knees so they were right in front my face.
“And why is that?” Vic questioned, turning away from the movie that was on and staring at me. He didn’t know why I had insisted on watching Home Alone, and I didn’t have the guts to tell him.
“All I see is him.”
That was partially my own fault. I picked his favorite movie to watch, just to torture myself.
“Well maybe you should talk about it. Letting it out is better than keeping it in.” Vic said, picking up the TV remote and pausing the movie so I could talk.
I looked around the room, spotting all the things that made me think of him.
“Foo Fighters is one of his favorite bands.” I said, pointing at my shirt. It was the shirt he wore when he borrowed something to wear that day that felt like years ago. I still hadn’t washed it. It smell like him.
“He put me on this couch the first time he saw me have a panic attack.” I said, patting the leather couch I was sitting on.
“He always ran into that plant when he walked through here.” I pointed to a long leaved plant in the corner of the room. He had nicknamed it Kevin after the main character of Home Alone because he was always in the way, but never meant any harm.
“He always drank out of this cup.” I mumbled, pointing at the cup that I was drinking out of. It had a whiskey logo on it. God knows why he liked it so much.
It was everything. Everything in this room and in this house and inside of me. He’d touched all of it and I couldn’t get rid of his fingerprints. It was all crashing down on me how much I needed him here. No one could make me laugh like he did, and no one could make me as angry as him. He was a tidal wave and I was a fish that happened to be caught in it on a rainy night. The ride was fun for a minute, but suddenly, I was slapped right back into the ocean, and he had disappeared along the shore.
I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to ask him why the hell he would do that to me. Was I a joke to him? I wanted to ask him if he meant it and if he felt it when he broke into my fucking head.
“I wrote a song.” I whispered.
“Can I hear it?”
I nodded, but didn’t bother getting up to get my guitar. I didn’t want to move or worry about cords. I just wanted to sing.
“I've been played a fool four, three, too many times and
When did lust for you become an organized crime?
I tried to keep you honest, babe, but I was just a pawn
You played the part so well, it hurts to know you're gone

Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?
Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?
Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?
Like you planned it, you're a bandit.
Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal.

Let me count the ways; I six, seven, ate my words
Right from your silver plate, we checked in, checked out, checkmate
I couldn't keep you honest, babe, 'cause I was just a card you played
The draw so well, it hurts to know you're gone, you're gone, you're gone

Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?
Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?
Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?
Like you planned it, you're a bandit.
Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal.

Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?
Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?
Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?
Like you planned it, you're a bandit.
Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal.

Did you mean it? Could you feel it when you broke into my head?
Did you fake it just to break another stranger in your bed?
Was it worth it? Was it perfect when you up and left me cynical?
Like you planned it, you're a bandit.
Just a no good, two-bit, filthy, rotten criminal.”

I didn’t wait for Vic to comment, I just stood up and walked out. Out of the room, out of the house, out of the neighborhood, and out of this town.
He knew where he could find me. He always did. But this time I didn't want to be found, and I hoped to god he didn't come searching.
This was for the best anyway.

Notes