A Daydream Away

Jack’s POV

I liked being home alone when I was sad, because there was no one there to question your sadness. You could sit in your living room and cry and no one could tell you not to. No one could say you were being stupid or girly or gay. God, I hated that word. ‘Gay’. Fuck off. That word was the cause of all this. Why did we need a word for loving differently than someone else? Fucking stupid.
I appreciated this time. I was so glad that for once, no one was yelling at me.
And then there was a knock at the door.
“Fuck off! If it’s Max, fuck yourself.” I yelled.
There was another knock.
“Go the hell away!” I yelled again, standing up so I could try and see out the window and see who it was.
Another knock.
“Fuck” I whispered, finally giving in and walking to the door.
There was only one person I wasn’t going to punch in the face on contact, and that was Alex. I was pretty sure the person knocking on my door wasn’t Alex.
I twisted the knob, ready to shout at the person who was disturbing me. But once my eyes locked with my intruder, everything I wanted to say fell short.
“Hey, I’m Vic.” The person in front of me said. He didn’t have to tell me who he was, I’d recognize that face anywhere. I’d wanted to beat it in for ever touching Alex for a whole month now.
“Hi.” I replied, trying not to sound like I wanted to twist his head off.
“We need to talk about Alex.” He said, moving his head to he was staring awkwardly at the ground.
Hearing Alex’s name sparked my interest. I decided that for his sake I’d throw my hatred aside and let this guy talk.
“Fine, let’s walk.”
I walked out my front door, not bothering to see if he followed me down my driveway and on to the side walk.
“Talk” I said, hoping I didn’t look like an idiot and that Vic was near me.
“Well, I’m worried about him.” Vic started.
“Why is that?” I questioned. Surely I didn’t hurt him too badly. To him, we were just friends and nothing more.
Vic was silent for a moment, and I had to turn to look at him to make sure he was still there. He was staring at me like I was an idiot.
“What?” I asked, slightly frustrated.
“You really don’t know, do you?” he asked, staring at me completely dumbfounded.
"Don't know what?" I questioned, agitated.
“Well…” he paused for a moment, like he was trying to find the right words to say “I’m going to start from the beginning.”
He looked at me, like he was asking if he could go on. I nodded at him, willing him to continue.
“Alex figured out his sexuality in 7th grade, same time as me. It almost seemed right that we dated, and we did.”
I tried not to get infuriated when he brought up their past relationship.
“He wasn’t happy though. I wasn’t right for him, and I think he knew that, but he stayed with me anyway. We were together for a year, but it was more of a friendship than a relationship. When he moved schools, we broke it off. The problem was, while he only thought of me as a friend, I was head over heels in love with him, and I still am.” He finished quietly, as if hoping I didn’t hear.
Sadly, I did. And if I didn’t want to hear “what I really didn’t know” he would have been lying dead on the ground.
“Okay.” I said stiffly “continue.”
Vic sucked in a deep breath “So, once summer is over, he goes to this new high school. I hated that he left… I didn’t want him with someone else. But, sure enough, he comes over after the first week of school, talking about this guy named Jack.” He glances over at me and smirks sadly at my expression.
I was almost utterly in shock. He’d known about me for that long, and never said anything.
“He talked about how cute he thought you were, and how he’d give anything to be your friend. Once 9th grade was over, I thought he’d forget about you over the summer, but he didn’t. He’d had other crushed throughout the school year, but he always went back to you. It killed me when he told me that you to had started talking, but I wanted him to be happy, so I never said anything. His happiness is all I care about anymore.” Vic stuttered the last sentence out. I knew this was killing him, so I lightened up on my dislike for him.
“So he...?”
“He’s in love with you, Jack. You’ve just never noticed it. I don’t know how… it was always written so plainly on his face.” Vic paused “You really broke his heart dude. He hasn’t laughed or smiled since that day. He had Home Alone on repeat, god knows why-”
That sent a dagger through my heart. He loves me. Or at least did. God knows he shouldn’t anymore. He never should’ve to begin with.
“Where is he?” I blurted out.
“Cavanaugh Park in Rossville, why?” Vic answered without hesitation.
“I need to tell him something.” I said, quickly turning around and jogging back to my house.
“Fair warning” Vic shouted to me “He goes to Cavanaugh Park when he wants to be alone. Don’t be too aggressive or he will snap on you!”
“Thanks for the heads up!” I shouted back.
I ran inside and grabbed my car keys, rehearsing in my head what I was going to say to Alex when I saw him. It took about 10 minutes to get to the park, and the sun was almost finished setting. I was going to have to find him in the dark, which was fine by me.
I had to tell him I loved him before he hated me completely, and nothing was going to stand in my way this time.

Notes