Alex

I woke up what I assumed to be quite early, but once I reached for my phone I saw that it’s almost ten. And that was quite late for me, I rarely got to sleep past nine as it was.

I slowly crawled out of the bed, throwing a quick glance at Jack’s sleeping figure. He hadn’t moved, so I could only assume that he was sleeping. I walked closer to Jack, looking for any sign of him being awake, but there were none. He would’ve definitely made some sort of movement, if he was awake.

My eyes darted to his wrist, noticing some kind of scarf wrapped around them.

“What the hell is that?” I questioned to no one in particular.

I crouched down to pull the scarf slightly away, hoping to see that handcuffs were still there, but I was met with nothing more than a slightly raw skin underneath. Jack jumped awake at my touch, trying to pull himself away from the touch, but failing.

“Stop with that,” I scoffed, “who did this?” I asked him, tugging on the scarf.

“How can I know that? It’s not like I know how any of you look,” I could hear a sarcasm in his voice, my fingers slipping away from the scarf and wrapping around his raw wrists.

“Who did this?” I repeated myself, smirking as he hissed when I tightened my hold on his wrist.

“The one who was here last night,” he said, “when you came back.”

Zack. He was really starting to get on my nerves and to say what he said to me last night. About my problem. He knew better than to throw it right in my face.

I stood up about to leave my room and find Zack. I needed to talk to him, both – about the scarf and the problem. I grabbed one of my hoodies out of the closet, pulling it over my head and left the room, locking it behind me since I didn’t trust Jack with just the scarf holding him down.

“Alex, we need to talk,” was the first words I was met with once I stepped my foot in the living room, where all three of my room mates were sitting.

I furrowed my eyebrows, but shortly nodded and walked further into the room, “okay. What about?” I casually asked, sitting down on the furthest part of the couch.

“Have you been taking your pills?” Jaime asked me, sounding seriously concerned and, since he was the only one I haven’t yelled at in the past days, I guess he was the only one who was seriously worried about me.

“Yes,” I said shortly and it wasn’t like I was lying.

“Alex, there’s only eight left,” Zack spoke up, pulling my own bottle out of his pocket.

“Why the hell do you have it!” I glared at him, wanting nothing more than to punch him and take my pills.

“Alex, seriously, calm down. You haven’t been yourself for quite some time,” Jaime said, carefully choosing his words, “at first we just thought it’s because of Jack and…this whole thing that’s going on, but…” he looked at the rest of the guys, avoiding looking at me, “how you beat up Jack that night…that didn’t look like you just being stressed or something, you know?”

For once I didn’t know what to say. I could just tell them the truth and they would hopefully leave me alone after that. But Jaime was right, saying that me beating up Jack wasn’t just me feeling stressed.

We’ve been short of money for the last few months for sure. I didn’t have enough money to buy the pills, resulting in me starting to take less than I should; less than doctor had prescribed. At first I didn’t notice any changes and thought that it’s fine, if I don’t take the dose the doctor said. But after a month or so, I felt the change. I was easily irritated, annoyed, my sleeping got worse and I kind of took everything anyone said personally. So when it came to kidnapping Jack, I just kind of lost it. Obviously our plan wasn’t to beat him up so badly, but it just felt so good. It felt good to let go of all that pent up energy.

“I may or may not have been taking less than doctor had said,” I mumbled, looking down at my hands and feeling them all stare at me.

“What?” Vic and Zack exclaimed at the same time.

“What do you mean – less than you should?” Zack came closer to me.

“We don’t have money for this shit, okay! We need to eat and pay the bills! I can live a few months without those stupid pills!” I shouted, sending a glare to Zack who still were holding the bottle in his hand.

“Alex, you are not okay, dude,” Vic said quietly, “this is not something you can stop buying just because you don’t have enough money.”

“That’s what my parents did and I was just fine,” I scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the back of the couch, sending glares to all three of them.

“So your parents, teachers and everyone else in the school being afraid of you is called – just fine?” Zack inquired.

“Don’t you talk about my parents,” I gritted at him, standing up and pointing my finger at him.

“Alex,” Vic started weakly, but was cut short.

“Give me those damned pills!” I yelled at Zack.

“It’s not like I need them,” Zack sneered at me, giving me the bottle.

I grabbed them from his hand and was about to storm out of the room, when something popped into my mind, “what’s with the scarf?”

“What?” Zack turned his head to the side.

“The scarf! Around Jack’s wrists. What’s that about?” I asked, feeling annoyed by Zack.

“Have you seen the state of his wrists? Let him sit like this for a few days and he’ll be fine.”

“Leave him with that scarf around his hands and we’ll have police knocking on our door in few days!” I exclaimed, turning around and leaving them.

I walked back into my room, slamming the door behind me and catching a sight of Jack jumping at the sound, “seriously, stop that. It’s annoying as hell, just so you know,” I said to him. He didn’t replay and, even though I expected some sort of an answer, maybe it’s good he kept his mouth shut. Good for his own health.

I quickly changed into some greyish looking jeans, leaving the same hoodie on and took the money Josh gave me from the jeans I wore yesterday. Even if I hated the three of them telling me that I had to take the pills, I understood it myself. And that’s what I hated most. I know what I need to do and them reminding me, didn’t help the case.

“Have a nice day,” I said to Jack, “and hope that someone remembers to feed you cause I’m not doing that.”

I closed the doors behind me, locking them once again and walking to the living room. There were only Jaime left now. I was thankful for that, because Zack for sure was the last person I wanted to see right now.

“Hey, here’s the key. Deal with Jack or something. I don’t care,” I dropped the key on the coffee table, Jaime’s eyes following it.

“You’re going out?”

“Yeah. Have to deal with that problem of mine,” I said to him.

I left the apartment, walking down the stairs and past the coffee shop, my eyes meeting Zack’s. He was serving a customer, Vic behind him, making a coffee. I could still see anger in Zack’s eyes, but I didn’t blame him. I’m sure he could see the same in my eyes, but at least I had a reason.

Thirty minutes later I was standing in a drug store, my fingers gripping the sides of the counter and listening as the pharmacist was telling me they didn’t have the pills I needed.

“I do apologize, but those pills are very rarely needed so we don’t order many of those,” she said, her voice sweet but on a verge of being annoying, “we did place an order last week so if you come back next week, we’ll have those pills.”

I just gave her a short nod, not trusting my voice as I left the store. My hands were shaking and I could feel panic settling in my bones. I did have eight more pills so I could still take them every day and hope that she wasn’t lying, saying that they’ll have the pills next week. But what if they don’t? Then I’ll have nothing.

Once inside my car, I let my fingers grip onto the steering wheel, resting my forehead against my hands. Deep breaths, I reminded myself. I’ve been through worse.

After few minutes of breathing, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my contacts. I found the name I was looking for and pressed the ‘call’ button.

I didn’t have to wait long as a piercing voice reached my ears, “Alex! I called you few days ago, but got no answer from you!”

“Hi, mom,” I said, my voice weak.

“Alex? What’s wrong?” she sounded concerned.

“Can I come over?” I asked, not wanting to hear her next question. The one she always asked, when I asked her about coming over.

“Are you alright?” it didn’t sound harmless, but I know the meaning behind the question. Have you been taking pills? Have you had any outburst lately? Have you harmed someone or yourself?

“Kind of,” I lied.

She was quiet after that, breathing on the other side of the line.

“Okay. Fine,” she finally said, letting out a sigh, a breath she must’ve been holding.

---
“So how have you been?” she asked me, setting down the cup of steaming hot chocolate on the table, “Why didn’t you call me back?”

“Please don’t start with that,” I sighed, wrapping my fingers around the cup.

“What else am I supposed to ask you, if I haven’t seen you for the last two months and you’re not calling me?” she pulled her own cup closer to herself.

“I was busy. Lots of work at the coffee place,” I mumbled, taking a sip from the cup.

I could feel her piercing stare even when I wasn’t looking at her. I knew she could read me pretty well. Living in the same house for eighteen years and being my mother gave her some advantage.

“Are you really okay?” she asked quietly, “Don’t lie to me, Alex.”

I looked up to see her eyes fixated on my still slightly shaky fingers.

“Stop asking that,” I whispered.

“Then stop lying,” she replied just as quietly.

“I’m not lying.”

“You might not notice that, but I’m your mother and I do notice things like that,” she stated.

I gave her a sharp look, taking another sip of my hot chocolate, before giving in. Nothing bad can happen if I tell her. A few details, explaining what is wrong.

“We’ve been short of money and you know how expensive those pills are,” I sighed, not looking my mom in the eyes, “can we please not talk about that?”

She looked at me suspiciously, but didn’t say anything.

“I have pills so you don’t have to worry about that. And we are working on a plan to get more money,” I was about to slap myself as the words left my mouth, “we work more. Longer hours at the coffee shop.”

She nodded, small smile appearing on her lips.

“Can I stay here tonight?” I asked shyly, looking up at her through my hair and giving her a look I knew she couldn’t say ‘no’ to.

“Of course you can,” she smiled at me.

Notes

poor jack, left alone in the room with no one to keep him company... lets hope that guilty will change something about that ;D
but maybe something gets clearer about alex...maybe...

-ilovetea