Jack

I hated shouting. There was nothing else in the world I hated more than raised voices and loud bangs. That’s why when guy number two returned and slammed the door yet again, I couldn’t help jumping the same way I had every single time before that.

‘Seriously, stop that. It’s annoying as hell, just so you know,’ he told me and I had to bite my tongue so I wouldn’t say something stupid. I knew it was in my best interest to keep quiet because I didn’t want to deal with him shouting at me as well. So instead I sat still, listening to him move around. He mentioned food once again and I rolled my eyes behind the blindfold. As if food even mattered. As soon as he left, I slumped back against the wall and let out a shaky breath.

I had already figured there was something strange about the guy’s reactions to most things but after hearing him shout from somewhere outside the door, I was proved right – he had some sort of a condition. I heard him yelling at someone to give him his pills and I wished I could’ve covered my ears right then and ignored them. Sadly, I didn’t have the luxury to do that. I regretted knowing half of the stuff I had heard because by knowing this much I was already painting him as a human being in my head. A troubled, vulnerable, messed up human being. I didn’t want that. Fucking sympathy. I had to avoid empathy at all costs because that would be my downward spiral.

I heard the key turn and the door squeaked. I sat still, waiting for the person to speak up. It was ridiculous how useless I felt – I was unable to see and based everything on what I could hear.

‘So, I made you porridge. I heard you’re a picky eater so I went for something simple,’ a new voice said and I heard the person set a bowl down on the table near the bed. ‘I’m James. I’m gonna untie you now so you can eat this, okay? Please,’ the guy told me – well, no, it seemed like he was asking me to. I was too surprised to think of anything witty to reply with.

‘Uh, okay. Thanks. I guess. Can I use the bathroom before that though?’ I asked, tilting my head a little to look at where I guessed this James was standing.

‘Sure. Just let me get the scarf,’ he said without hesitation and soon cold fingers were carefully untying the bounds. However, that wasn’t all, and when James reached to quickly remove my blindfold, my breath hitched and I wanted to panic. Why was he letting me see him? When the blindfold finally came off, I carried on staring at my lap, terrified and confused, and wanting to disappear from the room.

‘Calm down. You can’t see my face. You’re fine. There’s really no point in keeping the blindfold on for this long. I know you’ve seen the room and the bathroom already. So, if ever asked, you’d recognize the place anyway. Right?’ James said and I hesitantly nodded, still feeling a little on the edge. How pathetic was I?

Very.

With a shaky breath, I looked up. James had dark brown eyes and he was wearing a hoodie and a scarf just like Z had. The one difference that really struck me though was that there wasn’t any pity in his eyes and I thanked God for that. He wasn’t looking down on me – he was looking at me like an actual person. There was something serious yet relaxing in the aura around him and I found myself sighing in relief.

‘Right,’ I finally replied. The guy stood up from where he was kneeling and held his hand out for me. I grabbed it after hesitating for a bit and he pulled me up. As soon as I was stood on my own feet, I nearly swayed but this time I could at least see where I was standing so I leaned against the wall, balancing myself.

James waited for me and when I took a step away from the corner, he started walking towards the bathroom with me trailing right behind him. The hallway wasn’t really as large as it had seemed the last time, probably because I had felt way weaker then. I saw the bathroom at the end of the hall, so I threw a glance over my shoulder in the opposite direction. It seemed like there was a living room down there. I quickly looked away though, for some reason feeling like I was intruding.

Ridiculous. What the hell was happening to me? Since when was I playing by the rules?

As if on cue, I stumbled over my own feet, nearly falling onto James. I blushed and leaned against the wall again, closing my eyes to get rid of the spinning feeling.

James opened the bathroom door and I walked in while he stayed outside. I was glad he did because even though Z had been nice to me, it had been extremely awkward. I still felt weak and everything ached but at least I had some privacy. It felt strange to be trusted, even though that was exactly what I wanted. I had made it my goal to get the guys to trust me and surprise them when they least expected it. That was the only escape plan that seemed plausible.

As I was washing my hands, I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair stood in all directions, reminding me of bed hair. There were dark bags under my eyes. Even though I had gotten a fair amount of sleep in the past few days, I still felt exhausted. The bruises on my face had started to fade a little and my split lip was healing as well. Except for looking, well, miserable, I looked like I had back in the last month of high-school. Beaten up, tired of everything and barely holding up. At least this time no one was attacking me verbally and emotionally.

When I left the bathroom, James was waiting for me outside, leaning against the hallway wall. Just like before, I trailed behind him into the room and slowly made my way to the corner but then James’ voice cut the silence. ‘Come on, the bed’s free. You don’t have to sit on the floor,’ he said like it was obvious. I stared at him before nodding and making my way to the bed, sitting down next to him, even though I did my best to leave a large gap between us.

It felt heavenly when I sat down, the mattress giving in underneath me. I sighed in content, wanting nothing more than to drop down, curl up and have proper sleep. However, James had other plans as he handed me my bowl of porridge and a glass of what looked like orange juice.

I raised my eyebrows but he shrugged and took a gray remote from the table, pressing a button. The room’s stereo system came to life and music filled the room. ‘Eat up, please. Stop spiting us,’ James told me and I looked down at the porridge.

‘I’m not spiting you. I’m just honestly not that hungry,’ I said, the texture of the porridge making me pull a face.

‘I’m sorry but you have to eat this. Whether you’re doing this in spite of us or not, you haven’t had proper food in days and it’s only going to make you weaker,’ James said and I sighed, knowing he was right. I hated that. I took a spoonful of the porridge and swallowed it. For some reason, it really did go down easier than the pasta had. I had another spoon and sipped the juice. James seemed content enough because he turned away and pressed his back against the wall behind us.

‘What’s that song?’ I asked instead, unhappy with the silence even though it was comfortable.

‘Hey You,’ James replied, looking at me like he didn’t believe I was being serious. ‘Pink Floyd? Seriously? How do you not know this?’

I rolled my eyes. ‘I recognize the song. I just didn’t know the title. I’m more into the punk rock scene,’ I explained. How ridiculous was it that I was having this sort of a conversation with one of my captors? I had to keep reminding myself that the person next to me was also responsible for my kidnapping.

During the next hour, James managed to persuade me to eat more of the porridge and by the time I was done with it, there was barely any left. I didn’t feel as ill as I thought I would and James seemed awfully pleased. After that, it was just us sitting on the bed and listening to some music. No words were exchanged but it seemed like we were both surprisingly content with it. And that was the reason why I found my eyes closing on their own accord. I kept snapping awake but at some point I drifted so deep into the sleep I actually curled up against the pillow.

My dreams were filled with strange memories. I saw my best friends, their grins disgustingly pleased as we stared down at a bunch of girls. Ryan and Ron laughed while Andy and I shared a smirk. Ron bumped shoulders with another kid as we walked away from our lockers. ‘Watch where you’re going, loser,’ he hissed at the kid and shoved him against the wall of the hallway before turning away and faking a desperate sigh, ‘too many fucking losers in this school.’

The memory slowly faded away and I was met by Tyler’s worried eyes as he ordered Josh to get us the first aid kit from his car. ‘What the hell happened?’ Rian asked, taking in my state. I shrugged and winced at the same time. Rian sighed, ‘which one did it this time?’ I looked at him, pity in his eyes. ‘It doesn’t matter,’ I told him and looked away. He kneeled next to me and to my surprise pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly wrapped a hand around him as well before Josh returned and Tyler started stitching me up.

The next thing I knew I was being shook awake. I blinked, expecting to see Rian, and only after I met James’ gaze did I remember where I was. Surprisingly, I didn’t panic. Instead I sat up and rubbed my eyes. ‘You were out for a couple of hours. I have to tie your hands back up,’ James explained and I just nodded, walking to the corner submissively.

‘Why do you guys let him treat you the way he does?’ I asked while he was carefully tying the scarf around my wrists. James raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. ‘He threatened Z,’ I told him once I realized he wouldn’t reply, ‘The rest of you are nothing like him.’

‘He’s a friend,’ James stated as the dark blindfold was once again wrapped around my head.

‘He seems dangerous,’ I tried to press further.

‘So should we. You’re in no position to judge,’ the guy told me, a sharp edge to his voice.

‘Why? What are you going to do? Beat me up? He might do it even if I sit still! Kill me? Won’t happen since you care about that God damn money so much,’ I snarled at him, wishing I had done this before he tied me up – I could’ve looked a lot more threatening that way.

‘Stop that, kid. We’re not even treating you badly. As soon as your parents send us the money, you’re free to go,’ he explained and I wished I could throw a punch at his face.

‘Oh, please. You really think it’s going to be that easy?’ I laughed, impressed by his obliviousness.

‘We’ve got their son, there’s really no other way,’ James said and I laughed again, hiding my face behind my knees.

‘Have you ever even seen me on TV with my parents? The last time anyone actually cared was when I was publicly crowned the teenage millionaire heartthrob and crashed my father’s car, and if you honestly believe my father will give a crap about me being kidnapped, you’re seriously mistaken. I’ll be stuck here for a month, minimum. He’s probably sat at his office desk, thinking about how much of a piece of trash and attention seeker his son is,’ I said, breaking into a sarcastic smile. ‘So good luck with that. Why do you think I haven’t been associated with them in ages?’

Silence surrounded us and I could only guess James was staring at me, possibly trying to figure out whether I was actually being honest. So I sighed and carried on, ‘at least tell Rian I’m alright, otherwise he’ll go insane. He’s probably attempted to punch my father at least once by now.’

I heard movement but to my surprise it sounded like James was walking away. That was not what I had expected. ‘I’ll give your friend a hint. However, you’re wrong about everything else, no matter what you think about your family. You’re already on TV, kudos to your friend. And none of us will hurt you. We’re not psychopaths,’ James stated. The door closed and I heard the key being turned. A strange feeling settled in my stomach. Had my father actually listened to Rian? There was no way. Maybe Rian had persuaded my mum to go public with the news in spite of what my father said. Bless Rian. I’d have to buy him those drum sticks he’d been talking about for ages for his birthday. And maybe actually attempt to bake a cake. That is, if I was still alive by then.

I wondered if I could use this situation to my advantage. Maybe I really should just let the guys do what they want, to spite my father for all the shit he’d done to me. Not worry about escaping just to get the satisfaction of seeing my father pissed about having to spend even more money on me. That didn’t sound too bad. A little messed up, but that was just what I was like. With that on my mind, I drifted to sleep again. There was little else I could do.

My dreams started off similarly to the ones I was awaken from. I was outside a liquor store with Ry and Andy, Ronnie inside with his fake ID buying us beer. The guys whistled at some girls walking past us and I laughed when the girls flipped them off. I looked to my right from where I was leaning against the wall and Ronnie was walking towards us with a twelve pack.

Suddenly there was a fist colliding with my face. It was day time and we were on the roof of our school, a place that was easily accessed and used by all smokers because no one else really checked up there. Ron was standing over me, fuming. Andy pulled a face and left to walk away. Ry hadn’t even bothered to move – he was stood by the edge of the rooftop, inhaling smoke before finishing his cigarette and following Andy.

Ron pulled me up, looking me in the eye before pushing me back down and following the others. That was how it was these days. They didn’t actually beat me up, I was a kid with influence after all. They just tormented me whenever we were away from the gazes of the rest of the school. Once I pulled myself up and went downstairs, Ron wrapped his hand around my shoulder and faked a grin. I did the same.

Then we were in a party and Ron approached me, smirking and obviously drunk, just like the rest of the people there. I gave him my best uninterested look but with one quick step forward his lips were on mine. My eyes widened and once I realized what he was doing, I pushed him away. He looked taken aback but once he regained his composure, he closed the gap again. I was quicker this time and locked myself in the bathroom. Despite being safe, I could still hear him banging on the bathroom door, jumping every single time I heard his fist collide with the door. It got harder and harder to breathe properly and I felt myself shaking.

‘Jack,’ a voice called out as I pulled at my hair, gasping for a breath.

‘Jack!’ the bangs rang out through the small, claustrophobic space of the bathroom.

‘God dammit, Jack, wake the fuck up!’

And I jumped awake. My eyes were open but all I could see was darkness and that didn’t help at all. ‘Get the blindfold off, please,’ I begged which was fucking pathetic but the bangs were echoing in my head and it was driving me insane. ‘Please, please, please, please,’ I repeated desperately until the blindfold finally came off. I pulled my knees up and rested my head on them, taking careful breaths as I looked down.

‘Thank you,’ I muttered after a couple of minutes of silence.

‘No problem,’ guy number two muttered and that was the second time I had heard him sound genuine. I looked up but he was facing away from me, looking through his drawers. A hoodie was already hiding his hair so I guessed he was looking for something to use as a mask.

‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed and slammed the drawer shut, opening the next one. I tensed up but didn’t flinch – it really wasn’t as bad when I could see where the noise was coming from. When the guy finally found something that reminded me very much of a Middle Eastern scarf, he tied it around his neck and finally turned around.

We both seemed to freeze, realizing that this was the first time we actually looked at each other. It was strange, putting a face to a voice. With Z it had been easy because I hadn’t had a lot of time to picture him in my head, and with James it was almost immediate. This guy, however, I had known since the first day, and he was definitely not what I had imagined. He had a bit of brown hair showing and his dark brown eyes were livelier, more vibrant than James’ and Z’s. I didn’t know what I had expected but he looked so… typical and so very human it was hard to connect what I was seeing to what I had heard before.

The guy furrowed his brows and walked over to his bed, sitting down and pulling his laptop out from underneath a pillow. I looked away, suddenly feeling awkward. He hadn’t put the blindfold back on but he obviously didn’t want to acknowledge me for any longer than he had so I left it at that, instead tilting my head to stare at the ceiling. The silence stretched until I no longer knew where to look, so instead I glanced back at the figure on the bed. I cleared my throat, 'so, I heard I'm on the news? Can I see that?'

Notes

jack needs cuddles

so how about this, ilovetea? it's flippin three in the morning

apologies to everyone for the extremely stereotypical stuff in this chapter such as ronnie and andy being buttheads and jack being triggered to have a nightmare. such cringe, wow.
be aware i super duper love falling in reverse and black veil brides, and ronnie, ryan and andy are all sunshines

guilty x