Jack

I had seen a fair amount of problematic people in my life, including people with minor anger issues, drinking addictions, social anxiety and even schizophrenia. So, from the second I heard guy nr 2 slam the door and lose control over himself, I knew there was more to him than just being an asshole. I wasn’t sure if that made the situation more terrifying or not – on one hand, it meant he was more spontaneous and therefore more dangerous, but on the other hand it proved he was just a human being. Which was ridiculous. I didn’t want to think of him as a human being. Guy nr 1 – maybe, Z – fine. But this dude?

It was risky to start thinking about him as a human with feelings because that would make me sympathize. And everyone knew what would happen then. I had no intentions of experiencing Stockholm Syndrome. So, when he told me he wouldn’t hit me again as he was picking up pieces of the glass he had shattered, I couldn’t help but snarl at him, hoping that would bring back his rude attitude.

It worked and soon he was out of the room, leaving me alone again. I seemed to be that a lot – alone. I guessed it wasn’t all that bad because I didn’t really want to interact with the people who had thought it was a good idea to kidnap me. Or still thought it would be easy to get money off my parents. But I was getting a bit lonely, and when I was lonely, everything seemed to hurt more.

I wondered what Rian was doing. Was he trying to find me? I hoped so. No one else would really notice I was gone. In fact, if my parents were even aware of me being gone, it would all be thanks to Rian looking for me. I could imagine my parents arguing about this. Mum was probably crying - the thought of that actually made my heart drop. My dad was probably telling her I was alright and she had nothing to worry about. Liar. I knew my mum would want to bring this to the media as soon as she could, what with being quite influential and well-known, but my dad probably thought this was all my idea – my attempt at ruining his work schedule, just me trying to get his attention.

Most of all, though, I was gutted about not being able to attend the live music night at the bar. It was the one place and the only time when I could bring my guitar to play what was on my mind and have people listen to me. Not just look at me – no, they all listened. Nothing else really mattered as much as that.

I had just finished a song before all of this went down. It wasn’t much but I still wanted to know what others would think. As soon as I had finished the music, I set out to write lyrics. I walked around the city, popping into a coffee shop on my way – nearly bumping into someone because of how deep in my thoughts I was. Rian called me and begged me to meet him at a bar later and while I didn’t actually want to join him, I guessed I had to do something with my Friday night. After that, I spent a couple of hours just hanging at places, writing words and ideas down in my sketchbook. I never got to finish the lyrics.

I sighed. My wrists had started aching a lot and I couldn’t keep my mind off the pain. As if on cue the door suddenly opened and someone walked in. I wasn’t sure of who it was, but I knew for sure it wasn’t Z – he would’ve greeted me immediately. As for guy nr 2 – he would’ve walked in with a huff, or just negative aura around him. So I waited.

‘Hey-a,’ the voice said, walking closer to me. I recognized it as the one I had heard when I woke up for the first time.

Unsure of how to reply to that, I just sat up straighter – a movement symbolising I was listening to him.

‘I brought you some water, and we fixed you some food. Thirsty?’ he asked and I nodded because, hey, I had barely had a sip of anything these past few days. My throat felt like it was filled with ashes and cinnamon. The guy kneeled next to me – or I guessed so because I could hear his knees hit the floor – and soon something was pressed up against my mouth. I tilted my head back a little, opening my mouth just a bit and soon the water was running down my throat. It felt like paradise. He was waiting for me to close my mouth but I was so thirsty I didn’t stop until the glass was empty. ‘I’ll just have to bring you more water, won’t I?’ he said softly, putting the glass away and I heard it touch the floor.

‘How about some food?’ he enquired.

‘Not really all that hungry,’ I muttered.

‘Oh, come on. It’s just a bit of salad and pasta. Just this one fork, alright? Can’t have you dying from starvation,’ he told me and I could smell the food being held in front of my face before he told me to open up. So I did, because I knew I had to have something so that I wouldn’t pass out. I chewed on it and swallowed it, even though it didn’t really want to go down. He offered me another fork – this time I refused.

‘I’m really not that hungry,’ I told him, hoping that would be good enough for him. It’s not like any of them actually cared about me, so it shouldn’t have mattered to them whether I was eating or not.

‘Have this one and I’ll leave you alone,’ he tried to compromise but I turned my head away anyway. Guy number two chose that moment to walk in and exchange a couple of words with guy number one. For once, I honestly couldn’t pay any attention to what they were saying, my mind wandering far away from where I was. It might have had something to do with the lack of food in my stomach - I was really unable to focus on anything for longer than a couple of minutes. I didn’t mind because it meant I could forget about the pain every now and then. It felt better to keep zoning out than to have food forced down my throat.

Guy number one cleared his throat, trying to get my attention. ‘Is there anything you need?’
I thought about it. ‘Painkillers,’ I finally told him after a while. ‘And some music. Can I get my earbuds and my iPod?’

I could feel the guy nod before he realized that I couldn’t actually see him. ‘Yeah. I’ll be back in a bit,’ he told me and left the room. When he came back, he kneeled next to me again, telling me to open my mouth again. I let him put two pills in my mouth before he lifted a new glass of water to my lips and I sipped from it, swallowing the pills. ‘What’s your passcode?’ he asked me and I mentally kicked myself because obviously both my phone and my iPod had the same passcode. But then again, they probably got rid of the phone so no one could trace me to where I was being kept. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was guy nr 2 who had done it.

‘7856,’ I told him and I heard my iPod unlocked.

‘So, what do you want exactly?’ he asked, sounding a little distracted, probably scrolling down the list of music I had.

‘Anti-Flag,’ I replied almost immediately. He hummed and soon I heard the music blasting from my iPod. He plugged the earbuds in before fixing the volume, then reaching over and putting them in. I was sure he left the room soon after but I didn’t bother trying to focus on anything except the music because finally something was washing over my mind and I didn’t feel all that alone anymore.

-

At some point I must’ve fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake. I nearly jumped, terrified for life.

‘Relax, Jack. Just me,’ I heard Z said. He pulled my earphones out and I heard them hit the floor.

‘What’s going on?’ I asked in confusion, my heart still beating faster than it should have.

‘Ah, my douche bag of a friend is out tonight, not that I’m surprised, so I’m meant to keep an eye on you for a while,’ Zack explained, sitting down in front of me.

‘Have fun with that, I’m not exactly the most interesting person to watch while I’m sitting here, half passed out,’ I mumbled grumpily.

‘True, but I was told that you’ve pretty much refused all food, so I’m here to give you an offer. We play Never Have I Ever and every time you have done the said thing, I will give you a spoon of soup. Deal?’ Zack asked.

‘What’s in it for me? I’m not hungry, so why should I agree?’ I asked, sulking.

‘I’ll take the blindfold off and uncuff you,’ he told me and I could feel him smirking. I sighed, being reminded of the pain in my wrists, and he knew he had won.

-

Hours later, once Zack had fed me nearly all of the soup (‘Never have I ever been to an Anti-Flag gig,’ he said. ‘That’s cheating!’ I exclaimed but I saw him laugh at me and the spoon was soon in front of my face. ‘Eat up,’ he told me and I complied. As I was swallowing the food, I scanned over the room. It was mostly white with a couple of posters on the walls, a black bed on the other side in front of me and shelves filled with CDs, books and DVDs. Z was blocking the rest of my view. It looked too normal for my liking, a reminder that my abuser was a completely normal human being), he put the blindfold back in its place over my eyes and reached for the handcuffs but then seemed to hesitate.

‘How do your wrists feel?’ he asked me instead of just handcuffing me and leaving. I shrugged, touching my left wrist, and as soon as my fingertips brushed over it, I winced and knew Z had noticed. ‘That doesn’t look so good. I’ll just pick up a scarf and use that instead, alright?’

I was internally grateful for him taking pity on me. I knew neither of the other two ever would, so I allowed Z to tie my hands up without even flinching back this time. I heard him pick up the soup bowl and then his footsteps as he softly walked out of the room, returning soon after.
‘Good night,’ he told me before I felt the bed creak and found myself whispering Good night back at him.

-

At what must have been the middle of the night, I heard the doors to the room creaking and while they were not slammed shut, they were closed quite enthusiastically, waking me up immediately. I couldn’t help tensing up, not liking loud noises when I couldn’t see my surroundings.

‘Stop looking like I’m about to kill you every time I walk in. It’s pissing me off,’ the second guy’s voice rang through the room. I pulled myself up, crossing my legs in front of me.

‘For all I know, you might, so you have no rights to tell me what to do,’ I said unamused.

‘And what the fuck are you doing in my bed? I told you all there was only a small chance I wouldn’t come back tonight. Get out,’ he snarled and I trembled, not liking the sound of his voice, it was too raw and angry.

‘Jesus, calm the fuck down. You’ve got a fucking problem, man,’ Z replied. He didn’t sound scared. In fact, he sounded really done with the guy’s attitude. To my shock, however, I heard a slap echo through the room and froze. So did they because the room fell completely silent. ‘You’ve crossed the line,’ I heard Z say before the door of the room slammed shut and I tried not to jump again at the noise.

I decided then that it would be better if I just tried to go back to sleep, pretending I wasn’t even there, because I wasn’t ready to deal with another beating. However, instead of footsteps, I heard the bed creak and the guy let out a sigh.

I don’t know if I was in my right mind or not when I did it but I took a deep breath and just got it over and done with. ‘Are you alright?’ I asked the guy, feeling ridiculous as soon as the words had left my mouth.

To my surprise, he didn’t snarl at me. He let out a slightly shaky breath instead. ‘Not yet,’ he said and the room fell silent again.

Notes

guess who just spent most of her money buying an all time low ticket for the london gig?
yup. i'm poor again.
also, what the fluff is alex's problem?


i challenge you, ilovetea. explain. -slurp-

guilty x