Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

When the pizza got there, Alex ate two pieces which surprised me. I thought he'd only eat one.

"you ate more than I thought you would"

"I don't dislike food, y'know. Being bulimic doesn't mean you automatically hate the taste of all food. No, I like food. I just don't like what it does to me"

"doesn't it just kill you to know you can't just eat a whole pizza if you want to?" I asked him curiously.

"I can eat a whole pizza if I want to. I told you, you don't know what you're getting yourself into"

"explain it to me then? I want to know"

"well you know how there's purging? Well there's also binging. Like sometimes we'll eat a massive load of food and then just go and purge"

"why? What's the point in that?"

"I dunno. For me, it's just like sometimes something kinda snaps in my head and I kind of go a little bit crazy and just eat everything in sight but then afterwards it kind of dawns on me what I've done and how fat it'd make me and I have to go and purge"

"oh. Do you still get hungry and stuff?"

"yeah, obviously. I mean, I'm still a human being. I just choose not to act on it, unlike normal people"

"does your grandma not know about you?"

"I don't think so. I don't really want her to find out..it'll break her heart"

"how long has all this been going on?"

"couple of years. But I feel like I'm at breaking point now. I just want to be normal again. I just want to be normal or for everything to end. I can't go on like this any more" tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked at me desperately. I moved to sit closer to him and crushed him to my chest.

"shh..it's okay, baby..I'll get you help, ok? You'll be fine" we sat there in silence for a while as Alex cried into my chest. I figured he'd been staying strong for ages, the least I could do was let him cry for as long as he needed to.

When the tears slowed to a stop, Alex lifted his head and smiled weakly at me.

"what are you smiling at?"

"you. You called me baby. It was really cute"

"did I?"

"yeah" Alex laughed at my expression. I didn't mean to call Alex baby, it must have just slipped out.

"well you are. I know we're not dating yet but I feel so protective of you. You're my baby"

"are you going to call me that more often then?"

"no. Not until we're dating"

"damn. You're mean" he sat up.

"why? Because i don't want people to find out about us until we're properly dating and I have reason to kick their butts if they bully you more for it? Yeah, I'm very mean"

"you'd kick their butts?"

"you sound surprised"

"I can't picture you kicking butt"

"you couldn't imagine me having therapy either but I did that, didn't I?"

"dammit. Why did I have to fall for a smartass?" he grumbled jokingly.

"you should be thankful because that smartass will happily do pretty much anything you want him to" I lifted his chin with 2 fingers and kissed him on the forehead.

"I know. Can we watch more supernatural?"

"you're easily pleased, aren't you?" I grinned as he settled down in my arms again.

"mhmm, I guess" he said, yawning.

"maybe we should just go to bed, I mean, you've had a long day, I've had a pretty long day. It might be best for both of us to just go to sleep"

"I suppose" Alex mumbled. I stood up and pulled him onto his feet. He went to the bathroom as I cleared up a little bit then returned the duvet and pillow to my bed. I went in the bathroom after Alex.

When I came out, I found Alex sat in the middle of my bed.

"what're you doing, lex?"

"waiting for you"

"why?"

"to pick a side"

"you can pick, I don't mind"

"yeah but it has to feel comfy to cuddle" I laughed at his cute, wide-eyed facial expression. I pulled back the covers and got in, motioning for Alex to get in with me. He did and snuggled close to me.

"comfy?"

"yep"

"there we go then" I said, getting up to turn the light off. I got back into bed and curled my arms around him.

"night, lex" I murmured then kissed him softly on his temple.

"night, jack" he murmured back.

Notes

ok so it's chapter 9 now and Jack and Alex have kissed a few times now bUT STILL NOT ON THE LIPS MWAHAHAHA WHO WANTS TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE?!

well you should not because I made Jack call Alex his babyso

although I also made Alex tell Jack he doesn't want to live anymore sooo I GUESS I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE


anyways, enjoy :D