Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

"lex..you need to get undressed, baby"

"can't be bothered...wanna sleep" he mumbled, his eyes still closed. I got onto the bed and sat on him as I took off his hoodie and tshirt. I kissed him softly and he didn't react.

"seriously? You're not even bothered that I'm undressing you right now?"

"no, m'sleepy" he mumbled. I moved my hands to his pants and undid them, pulling them down until they were off. I then took his socks off and got off the bed to begin getting undressed.

"that's a shame that you're sleepy"

"why?"

"because I was thinking about jerking you off or something but I guess you're too tired"

"whatever"

"wow you must really be tired"

"mhmm..now hurry up" he whined. I grinned and finished getting undressed before getting into bed, pulling Alex close to me. He moved his leg so that it was over mine and then pressed himself closer to me. Alex opened his eyes and looked up at me.

"I'm not as tired anymore"

"nice try"

"no, really I'm not" I didn't reply for a minute or so.

"Alex? Can I ask you something?"

"um..sure"

"well it's not really a question as such but.. I've been thinking about it for a few days now. I kind of want to move to the next level and I was really just wanting to know your honest thoughts on it"

"you want to finger me?"

"yeah"

"nothing further?"

"not until you're ready"

"okay"

"okay?"

"yeah, you can finger me"

"when?"

"whenever"

"tomorrow?"

"sure" Alex pressed even closer to me and I could feel his cock gradually growing harder.

"be quiet, ok?" I told him before snaking my hand into his boxers. I kissed him as I curled my fingers around his dick to muffle the whimpers I knew would come. I stroked him gently a few times before adding more pressure.

"tell me when you're close, baby" I told him. He nodded and let out a quiet, stifled moan as I paid extra attention to the tip. I ran my thumb over the slit then spread the precum that dribbled out over his dick. I stopped to pull his boxers down for easier access before returning my attention to his dick.

"faster..oh god, jack" Alex whispered after a few minutes. I did what he said and he groaned quietly into my neck. A few flicks of my wrist later, Alex spoke up.

"I-I'm close" he uttered. I nodded and disappeared under the covers to take him into my mouth. Alex bucked his hips then gave a small "sorry!" making me chuckle. I sucked his dick, taking him all the way in and, after not even a minute had passed, Alex made a small, strangled, choking sound and came into my mouth. I swallowed it all, squeezing my eyes shut as I tried to banish the horrible memories from my mind and focus on the moment. Alex was all that mattered.

HE shouldn't mean anything to me now. He was my ex.

"so why is it so hard to forget about him? You still love him" a voice in the back of my mind told me. I couldn't help but think it was maybe true. Was I still in love with him as well as Alex?


I woke up to find Alex still dead to the world in my arms. I nuzzled his hair softly and, when he didn't react, decided to go back to sleep.


"jack, wake up" I heard Alex murmur.

"what's up, baby?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice"

"why?"

"because..I was kinda thinking about something and wanted to cut again and you cheer me up"

"what were you thinking about?"

"don't, jack. Don't try and make me tell you"

"but I wanna know. If I know, I can help you"

"you can't help. Nobody can help" he chuckled darkly.

"I might be able to"

"you can't!"

"why not?"

"I don't want to talk about this to you" he said firmly before pressing his lips together.

"why not? Why can't you just tell me?" Alex ignored me.

"so I'm getting the silent treatment now?" I asked. Alexs eyes flashed to mine to give me a 'what-do-you-think?'­ sort of look. I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I started pulling my clothes on and Alex copied me. I was just about to go downstairs when I felt Alex slip his hand into mine. I turned round to look at him. He caught my gaze before he averted his own, a red tinge growing on his cheeks.

"no, nu-uh, no way, you don't get to ignore me but still hold my hand, that's not how this works. If you're mad, you're mad" I pulled my hand out of his, ignoring the sad look on his face.

Notes

hey guys!^.^


Shit chapter but ah well hahaha



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