Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

After I'd played my guitar for a bit, my anger and hurt faded and I began to worry. What if something serious had happened? Nobody gets that stressed from work. I texted him, suddenly feeling guilty for being so harsh to him.

"hey jack, I know somethings happened to make you act like that but I don't know what. Please just tell me, I'm getting pretty worried, baby xx" I got a reply really quickly.

"I'm so sorry for treating you like that, baby. Don't worry about me, I'm just stressed about work. I have loads more work to do and I didn't realise I did and now I have to finish it all for a deadline. I'm so sorry xx"

"so why did you seem so distracted and why were you being so blunt with me? xx"


"I was just lost in my thoughts about all the work I have to do and when I'm gonna do it and stuff. I didn't mean to be blunt with you, thinking about work so much just kinda made me think about how risky our relationship is and how much we shouldn't be doing this etc etc :( xx"

"you just basically called our relationship a mistake. Are you fucking kidding me?! If you want to break up with me then just fucking do it."

"no, no, baby! That's not what I meant! I don't want to break up with you xx" he replied. I didn't reply to that.


My grandma came in my room to ask me if I'd already eaten so I told her I had. I wasn't in the mood for eating. When she finally left my room again I was relieved. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody.


The next day, I got the bus to school. I'd barely slept a wink. It felt weird trying to go to sleep without jacks arms around me, his musky scent lulling me to sleep, my head against his chest as it rose and fell gently. It felt wrong to try and sleep without my legs entwined with his, without his fingers gently twirling pieces of my hair mindlessly, without a soft goodnight kiss from him. It felt horrible to try and do anything knowing we were in the midst of, what i considered, our first argument and I had no idea what even started it.


When I finally got to school after a horrible bus journey, I didn't bother going seeing jack. I just went straight to form, taking my seat next to Cassadee.

"woah what's happened to you?" she asked.

"what?"

"you look like death. What's up?"

"do I? Oh..and jack basically told me we should break up last night"

"he said that?! What the fuck!" she dramatically expressed her shock

"he didn't say those exact words but he said something about how much we shouldn't be doing it"

"so what's happened to make him say that?"

"I dunno..he said he's stressed about work but last night he basically pretended I wasn't there"

"what a jerk. Things'll work out though I bet. You guys'll be fine again later"

"yeah well...till then could I sit with you at lunch?"

"sure. I can introduce you to vic, zack, Jenna and Tay" she grinned happily.

"sounds..cool"

"don't worry, they'll like you"


Despite what she'd said, I spent my first two lessons worrying about meeting four new people whom I'd never spoken to before. Jack managed to catch me after my second lesson, grabbing my elbow and towing me away from the crowds as soon as I was out of the door.

"what the fuck, jack!"

"we need to talk" he said. I jerked my arm out of his grip.

"I don't WANT to talk to you"

"Alex, please..I didn't mean it..what I said. I wasn't thinking right when I sent that. It wasn't what I meant, I should have worded it better. Just please talk to me"

"leave me alone. I don't want to talk to you. I was really fucking worried that something serious had happened to you after you practically acted as if you didn't even know who I was and then you basically told me we should..y'know. That's fucking shit, jack. I don't want to talk to you right now"

"okay, yeah, I get that and I'm really sorry. I'll leave you alone. Just..could you tell me when you'll talk to me again?"

"I don't fucking know, jack. Just leave me alone..please" With that, I turned my back on him and walked away.

Notes

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