Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

I was woken up from my sleep by a knock at the door. It wasn't a very loud knock but it still managed to wake me up. I dragged my tired body up from the couch and went to go and answer the door, alexs hoodie clenched in my hand like a small child with a comfort blanket. I stared in shock when I saw who was stood there.





It was Alex.



"um..hi, jack" he said after a few moments of me standing like a statue, mouth gaping open at him. It was then that I backed away quickly, stumbling over my own feet and slamming the door shut, all whilst repeating the word no over and over again to myself. I leaned against the closed door unsure of what to do. I knew I was going a little bit crazy without Alex but hallucinating so hard as to seeing a dead person turn up at my doorstep and try and talk to me was a bit extreme. I wasn't that bad, was I?

Maybe it wasn't a hallucination. Maybe he was actually there. I felt kind of honoured that he'd chosen to visit me in his ghostly form.

"jack? I saw your video" his calm-sounding voice sailed through the door. I closed my eyes for a moment as his perfect voice brought back happy memories.

"what so you're here to thank me for it or something?" I was actually talking back. To a dead person. On my doorway.

"well..no..yeah but..no. I'm just here to see you. I thought you'd be happy" I threw the door open angrily and stared at it. 'It' being Alex's spirit or ghost or whatever it was.

"why on earth would I be happy, Alex?! I'm sorry if I'm not reacting the way I'm expected to but I've personally never had a fucking dead person show up on my fucking doorway!" I seethed angrily. He stared at me blankly.

"jack, I'm not dead"

"like hell you're fucking not"

"no, really. I'm sorry I haven't contacted you or anything. I didn't realise you thought I was dead"

"you ARE. stop fucking with my head. I'm messed up enough as it is"

"jack, for fucks sake, I'm not dead. I didn't kill myself"

"yes you did" I heard myself whimper as memories resurfaced bringing tears that rolled down my face. I brought alexs hoodie up to my mouth and pressed my lips to the soft fabric, allowing its now faint smell to comfort me.

"jack, no, don't cry...jack.."

"is that it? You've come here, you've seen me, ok? you can go now. Unless there was something else you wanted"

"jack, I'm not fucking dead. Listen to me, I'm not dead. Let me in and I'll explain everything"

"prove it then, if you're not dead, prove it" I murmured.

"I don't really know how to prove I'm not dead, it's not really something I've done before to be honest but ok" he stepped forward cautiously and took my hand.

"see? I'm not dead. I don't think ghosts have pulses"

"Alex..?" I whispered in complete disbelief, thinking that if I was still dreaming, I didn't want to spend the rest of the dream not believing he was there bcause that would waste my precious time with him.

"yeah, I'm here" he murmured as he pulled me close, letting me break down. I knew Alex wasn't strong enough to have carried me if I broke down any more than I already had so I pulled away from him, closing the door behind us and going inside. I took his hand and pulled him over to the settee, lying down with him, my arms around his waist, my head on his chest and one leg in between his. His arms wrapped around me, holding me as close as possible, one hand stroking my hair comfortingly as I sobbed into his chest.

"I missed you so much..I thought you were dead"

"I know, it's okay" I heard him murmur softly. I sat back on my heels, straddling his leg as I did so.

"it's not okay, Alex! I thought you committed suicide!"

"I didn't, it's ok, I'm fine" he stroked my hair in an attempt to soothe me.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD! HOW ABOUT ME, HUH?! I'M NOT FUCKING FINE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" I screamed at him whilst I punched his chest repeatedly before throwing my arms around him and hugging him so tight I probably bruised his ribs. It's fair to say I had lost it.

"Jack, I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't know how you were feeling. I didn't know you thought I'd tried to kill myself. I'm so sorry" Alex said after I'd cried for a bit. I got up and walked away from him.

"When I asked you if you'd done anything stupid, you didn't answer, you just cried more and then hung up! What the fuck was I supposed to think, Alex?! When someone asks you if you've tried to fucking kill yourself, when you don't answer and then disappear off the fucking planet for a couple of weeks, people assume that you're fucking dead! I rang you every single fucking day. And I texted. Your phone stopped connecting but I still fucking rang hoping with all my heart that you were ok and that you'd answer and tell me I was mistaken. I made a fucking MEMORIAL video for you and everything. I have barely slept at all the past couple of weeks, all because of you!" I shouted at him.

"I'm so sorry, jack. What do you want me to say? There's nothing I can do about it now, is there?! I don't know why you're reacting like this, you were supposed to be happy! You were fucking depressed when you thought you'd lost me so getting me back should make you happy! Why are you fucking shouting at me?!" He yelled back.

"because you fucking put me through hell for no fucking reason!"

"I didnt mean to and I'm sorry! Just fucking forgive me, Jesus Christ!" he shouted.

"don't you get it?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" I screamed as I threw the tv remote at him in anger, leaving him to dodge it as it flew towards him and hit the wall, tears streaming down my face.

"I thought you were dead" I repeated quietly before shoving the hoodie he'd worn when he stayed over into his arms as I walked past him, into my bedroom where I closed the door without making a noise. I collapsed onto my bed and just sobbed until I felt sick.

Notes

SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKERS!


Did it say at any point that Alex had definitely killed himself? NO! all you got given was some cryptic sentences and Jack's assumptions! mwahahaha

am I or am I not the biggest bitch you've ever met?;)


you guys really think I would kill Alex?! seriously?! what kind of demonic monster do you think I am?!

(if I did kill alex it would be near the end of a fic because I wouldn't be able to carry on writing it like I cried writing this one and I knew he hadn't even done anything, I'd be too heartbroken to carry on knowing I'd actually killed him off so early on in a fic)


jeez, guys, what do you take me for? I'm not THAT mean; jalex was only just starting! I mean, jalex is still broken but..eh.



I HOPE YOU GUYS CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEARTS TO FORGIVE ME AND KEEP READING/COMMENTING/SUBSCRIBING/VOTING I LOVE YOU ALL LOTS, MY LITTLE CHICKENS