No Idea
I'll Follow You
Ray slowly made his way up the stairs, his body so old that climbing the stairs made his limbs hurt but he knew his son-in-law needed some reassuring words. When he finally got to the top he lethargically lowered himself to sit on the stairs beside Alex. Alex lifted his head from his hands as he became aware of Ray’s presence. He looked up at the old man with lost, mournful eyes; eyes that Ray had seen too many times in his lifetime, the kind of eyes that could break anyone’s heart. Ray sat his frail, rough hand on Alex’s knee “It’ll be okay son.” He reassured in the simplest way that he could.
“How do you know sir?” Alex asked, doubting that anything in this lifetime or the next would ever be okay again if Janie and Adelia weren’t part of his life.
“I’m old Alex. I’ve seen many things in my life and I have witnessed too many tragedies for my own liking. But this, this is love and love that is as strong as it is between you and my daughter….it can bring everyone back together. But you have to guide the love and you have to be strong because a simple apology won’t be enough. We both know that Janie is head strong and stubborn but underneath that she still loves you and she always will. You just have to show her that the love is still here.” Ray advised as he patted Alex on the back and slowly stood, his bones popping until he stood straight up.
“Thank you, sir.” Alex said as he followed in the man’s actions and stood up. Alex was genuinely surprised that Janie’s father was even allowing him to be in the same state as his daughter, much less the same house. If anything, he half expected Ray to greet him at the door with a shot gun in his hands ready to blow Alex’s head off for hurting his daughter; though Alex was glad that wasn’t the case. He needed to have someone believe in him, because even he was beginning to doubt himself.
“Now then, I’m afraid we have no rooms left in the house but there is a loft area in the top of the barn and you are more than welcome to stay” Ray offered, knowing that Janie would be upset with him but he wasn’t willing to let his daughters stubborn heart and prideful mind get in the way of the love he knew still existed between the two young adults.
“That’s a nice offer and I appreciate it but Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I don’t want to ruin it for the family” Alex declined knowing that Janie would be even more pissed if she woke up and found out that Alex had stayed and the last thing he wanted to do was give her another reason to be angry with him, another reason to hate him. It would be the first Thanksgiving that Alex hadn’t shared with Janie since they were in high school. Even back then both of their families would get together for the holiday and share in the joys of friends, family, food and of course the traditional Thanksgiving football game. That was probably his favorite holiday to spend with her family, even over Christmas because there were no expectations; it was just a day filled with love and joy but this year his Thanksgiving would be nothing more than a reminder of what he had given up.
“Nonsense, you are a part of this family whether Janie agrees or not, now go on out to the barn. Breakfast is at eight and if you are late you’ll miss out, you know the routine.” Ray called out as he walked down the hallway to his own bedroom. By now he was too old to care what anyone else thought, including his own daughter, and he’d be damned if he had to watch the football game by himself in a house full of women. Alex chuckled to himself and shook his head as he walked downstairs. He stopped by the door to put his shoes on and grab his jacket; North Carolina was known to get cold especially in November. He quietly slipped out the door and made the long walk to the old barn, which Alex wasn’t too sure about sleeping in seeing as it didn’t look much like a safe haven.
He opened the old red barn doors, disturbing the horses inside from their slumber much to his dismay. Unlike Janie, Alex didn’t have a fascination with horses, but rather a small fear. He had been bucked off too many times when Janie had convinced him to go riding with her resulting in him never wanting to be too close to a horse again. Maneuvering away from the stables he tiredly climbed the old ladder, which was missing a few of the steps. Alex pulled himself up to the loft and kicked his shoes off as he landed on the surprisingly comfy mattress. Within minutes of his head touching the pillow Alex was off into a deep slumber, his problems much like Janie’s were being whisked away into a dreamland.
Janie sat at the table with a bowl of potatoes and a peeler, it was always a tradition to help her mom make thanksgiving dinner, and her mom had always given her the easiest job of peeling the potatoes.
“so mom" Janie said as she peeled the first of many potatoes.
"Yes dear?" Ann replied from the kitchen where she was dressing the turkey. Janie was more than thankful that she wasn’t the one having to pull the insides out of the bird; it absolutely disgusted her to no end.
"I was thinking that I would go see Mel today, ya know like back when I was a kid. She still lives around here right?" Janie asked.
Ann slowly walked to the sink, stalling her answer in any way she could. Grabbing a towel she dried her hands and walked to the dining room where Janie was sitting. She shook her head at the sight of potato peelings littering the floor from Janie carelessly peeling the potatoes.
“Honey I'm afraid that Melanie..... Well she ummm... Janie, Melanie passed away two summers ago." Ann finally said. The peeler fell from Janie's hand and made a loud clashing sound as it made contact with the hardwood floor.
“W-what?" Janie asked in disbelief. Melanie Delson had been Janie's best friend since the second grade and was her maid of honor at Janie's wedding but after that Janie hardly stayed in contact with anyone from home except for her parents. Melanie had been the first friend that Janie had ever made, she was shirt but full of spunk and attitude. They used to go on these ridiculous coffee runs together on the weekends where they would hit as many coffee shops in as many nearby towns as they could, it never made sense to anyone else but it was there thing. They would always end at Oak Tree Coffee in Kannapolis where the Dale Earnhardt Memorial Statue was built. They would grab a coffee and go to Dale where they would pretend to have conversations with the statue; the looks they got were always priceless and left them giggling uncontrollably. Janie jumped when she felt her mom’s cold hand on her arm and was brought back to reality.
"H-how.....what happened?" Janie whispered to her mom, the tears gathering in her eyes as she waited for an answer that she wasn’t all too sure she wanted to hear. By the torn expression on her mother’s face, Janie knew that it wasn’t an accident but she waited for her mother to tell her anyways.
"Janie she killed herself" Ann finally said giving Janie the answer that she had already known was coming. Janie stood up and without a word she ran out of the house surprising Alex who was just opening the front door.
"Janie?" he called after her as she ran to the barn. Her mind going into overdrive and she instantly blamed herself for not being there for her best friend when she needed her the most. The tears blinded her sight as she saddled up her horse and by the time Alex had gotten to the barn Janie was halfway through the field, a cloud of dust following behind her. Alex hesitantly saddled up a much smaller horse than Janies and followed the trail that she left. When he finally found her she was sitting on the old dock looking over the pond. Her body shook heavily with sobs. She hadn't even noticed Alex’s presence until he pulled her into his chest and she let him. She tucked her head into his neck as he did his best to calm her. Goosebumps rose on his skin where Janie’s breath was feathering lightly on his neck. He tightened his arms around her body and kissed the top of her heard, doing anything he could think of to comfort her.
"Janie just breathe, come on deep breaths baby." Alex whispered into Janie's hair, every so often he placed a sweet kiss on her head until her breathing evened out and then she pushed herself away from Alex and wrapped her arms around her small frame feeling embarrassed that she let him in when she was so vulnerable.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, finally breaking the silence that had settled between them.
“I wasn’t going to just let you sit here and cry, Jay” Alex whispered, using the old nickname he had given her years ago. When Janie did nothing but stare blankly at him he realized that wasn’t the question she was asking. Alex lifted his hand and twirled the end of his fringe around his finger, a nervous habit that he couldn’t rid himself of. He felt like he had a thousand bats furiously flying around in his stomach as it knotted up.
" I was invited to stay for thanksgiving..." Janie nodded her head and turned away from Alex as she watched the water glisten with the suns reflection. A family of ducks mindlessly swam in circles, diving under the water every now and then before bobbing back up. Alex watched Janie in silence as she concentrated on the ducks. He frowned at the sight of the deep crease in her forehead signaling that she was upset and worried. He ached to pull her into his arms and take all of the pain away and place it on himself instead, he never wanted to see her hurt. Alex let out an airy but humorless laugh at that thought finding the irony that he never wanted to see her hurt yet all he had done was hurt her. His laugh had caught her attention and Janie stared out him in question, her head tilted as she studied his face.
" I know were not on good terms but you can talk to me. I'm here for you Janie" Alex said trying his best to reach out to her but she just pushed him away like every other time.
"hmmmm that's ironic" Janie sarcastically replied.
Alex sighed and stood up seeing clearly that he was getting nowhere." you hate me and I understand that…a-and I know you well enough to know when you're ready to give up... And I can see that you're giving up on me so I'll sign the papers tonight and you can have the house. You can have it all. I-I don’t want any of it if I’m not sharing it with you" Alex said, his voice showed his desperate exhaustion and the threat of tears was enough for him to walk away leaving Janie to her own thoughts on that old dock where even the serene peacefulness couldn't get Alex’s words out of Janie's head.
“How do you know sir?” Alex asked, doubting that anything in this lifetime or the next would ever be okay again if Janie and Adelia weren’t part of his life.
“I’m old Alex. I’ve seen many things in my life and I have witnessed too many tragedies for my own liking. But this, this is love and love that is as strong as it is between you and my daughter….it can bring everyone back together. But you have to guide the love and you have to be strong because a simple apology won’t be enough. We both know that Janie is head strong and stubborn but underneath that she still loves you and she always will. You just have to show her that the love is still here.” Ray advised as he patted Alex on the back and slowly stood, his bones popping until he stood straight up.
“Thank you, sir.” Alex said as he followed in the man’s actions and stood up. Alex was genuinely surprised that Janie’s father was even allowing him to be in the same state as his daughter, much less the same house. If anything, he half expected Ray to greet him at the door with a shot gun in his hands ready to blow Alex’s head off for hurting his daughter; though Alex was glad that wasn’t the case. He needed to have someone believe in him, because even he was beginning to doubt himself.
“Now then, I’m afraid we have no rooms left in the house but there is a loft area in the top of the barn and you are more than welcome to stay” Ray offered, knowing that Janie would be upset with him but he wasn’t willing to let his daughters stubborn heart and prideful mind get in the way of the love he knew still existed between the two young adults.
“That’s a nice offer and I appreciate it but Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I don’t want to ruin it for the family” Alex declined knowing that Janie would be even more pissed if she woke up and found out that Alex had stayed and the last thing he wanted to do was give her another reason to be angry with him, another reason to hate him. It would be the first Thanksgiving that Alex hadn’t shared with Janie since they were in high school. Even back then both of their families would get together for the holiday and share in the joys of friends, family, food and of course the traditional Thanksgiving football game. That was probably his favorite holiday to spend with her family, even over Christmas because there were no expectations; it was just a day filled with love and joy but this year his Thanksgiving would be nothing more than a reminder of what he had given up.
“Nonsense, you are a part of this family whether Janie agrees or not, now go on out to the barn. Breakfast is at eight and if you are late you’ll miss out, you know the routine.” Ray called out as he walked down the hallway to his own bedroom. By now he was too old to care what anyone else thought, including his own daughter, and he’d be damned if he had to watch the football game by himself in a house full of women. Alex chuckled to himself and shook his head as he walked downstairs. He stopped by the door to put his shoes on and grab his jacket; North Carolina was known to get cold especially in November. He quietly slipped out the door and made the long walk to the old barn, which Alex wasn’t too sure about sleeping in seeing as it didn’t look much like a safe haven.
He opened the old red barn doors, disturbing the horses inside from their slumber much to his dismay. Unlike Janie, Alex didn’t have a fascination with horses, but rather a small fear. He had been bucked off too many times when Janie had convinced him to go riding with her resulting in him never wanting to be too close to a horse again. Maneuvering away from the stables he tiredly climbed the old ladder, which was missing a few of the steps. Alex pulled himself up to the loft and kicked his shoes off as he landed on the surprisingly comfy mattress. Within minutes of his head touching the pillow Alex was off into a deep slumber, his problems much like Janie’s were being whisked away into a dreamland.
Janie sat at the table with a bowl of potatoes and a peeler, it was always a tradition to help her mom make thanksgiving dinner, and her mom had always given her the easiest job of peeling the potatoes.
“so mom" Janie said as she peeled the first of many potatoes.
"Yes dear?" Ann replied from the kitchen where she was dressing the turkey. Janie was more than thankful that she wasn’t the one having to pull the insides out of the bird; it absolutely disgusted her to no end.
"I was thinking that I would go see Mel today, ya know like back when I was a kid. She still lives around here right?" Janie asked.
Ann slowly walked to the sink, stalling her answer in any way she could. Grabbing a towel she dried her hands and walked to the dining room where Janie was sitting. She shook her head at the sight of potato peelings littering the floor from Janie carelessly peeling the potatoes.
“Honey I'm afraid that Melanie..... Well she ummm... Janie, Melanie passed away two summers ago." Ann finally said. The peeler fell from Janie's hand and made a loud clashing sound as it made contact with the hardwood floor.
“W-what?" Janie asked in disbelief. Melanie Delson had been Janie's best friend since the second grade and was her maid of honor at Janie's wedding but after that Janie hardly stayed in contact with anyone from home except for her parents. Melanie had been the first friend that Janie had ever made, she was shirt but full of spunk and attitude. They used to go on these ridiculous coffee runs together on the weekends where they would hit as many coffee shops in as many nearby towns as they could, it never made sense to anyone else but it was there thing. They would always end at Oak Tree Coffee in Kannapolis where the Dale Earnhardt Memorial Statue was built. They would grab a coffee and go to Dale where they would pretend to have conversations with the statue; the looks they got were always priceless and left them giggling uncontrollably. Janie jumped when she felt her mom’s cold hand on her arm and was brought back to reality.
"H-how.....what happened?" Janie whispered to her mom, the tears gathering in her eyes as she waited for an answer that she wasn’t all too sure she wanted to hear. By the torn expression on her mother’s face, Janie knew that it wasn’t an accident but she waited for her mother to tell her anyways.
"Janie she killed herself" Ann finally said giving Janie the answer that she had already known was coming. Janie stood up and without a word she ran out of the house surprising Alex who was just opening the front door.
"Janie?" he called after her as she ran to the barn. Her mind going into overdrive and she instantly blamed herself for not being there for her best friend when she needed her the most. The tears blinded her sight as she saddled up her horse and by the time Alex had gotten to the barn Janie was halfway through the field, a cloud of dust following behind her. Alex hesitantly saddled up a much smaller horse than Janies and followed the trail that she left. When he finally found her she was sitting on the old dock looking over the pond. Her body shook heavily with sobs. She hadn't even noticed Alex’s presence until he pulled her into his chest and she let him. She tucked her head into his neck as he did his best to calm her. Goosebumps rose on his skin where Janie’s breath was feathering lightly on his neck. He tightened his arms around her body and kissed the top of her heard, doing anything he could think of to comfort her.
"Janie just breathe, come on deep breaths baby." Alex whispered into Janie's hair, every so often he placed a sweet kiss on her head until her breathing evened out and then she pushed herself away from Alex and wrapped her arms around her small frame feeling embarrassed that she let him in when she was so vulnerable.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, finally breaking the silence that had settled between them.
“I wasn’t going to just let you sit here and cry, Jay” Alex whispered, using the old nickname he had given her years ago. When Janie did nothing but stare blankly at him he realized that wasn’t the question she was asking. Alex lifted his hand and twirled the end of his fringe around his finger, a nervous habit that he couldn’t rid himself of. He felt like he had a thousand bats furiously flying around in his stomach as it knotted up.
" I was invited to stay for thanksgiving..." Janie nodded her head and turned away from Alex as she watched the water glisten with the suns reflection. A family of ducks mindlessly swam in circles, diving under the water every now and then before bobbing back up. Alex watched Janie in silence as she concentrated on the ducks. He frowned at the sight of the deep crease in her forehead signaling that she was upset and worried. He ached to pull her into his arms and take all of the pain away and place it on himself instead, he never wanted to see her hurt. Alex let out an airy but humorless laugh at that thought finding the irony that he never wanted to see her hurt yet all he had done was hurt her. His laugh had caught her attention and Janie stared out him in question, her head tilted as she studied his face.
" I know were not on good terms but you can talk to me. I'm here for you Janie" Alex said trying his best to reach out to her but she just pushed him away like every other time.
"hmmmm that's ironic" Janie sarcastically replied.
Alex sighed and stood up seeing clearly that he was getting nowhere." you hate me and I understand that…a-and I know you well enough to know when you're ready to give up... And I can see that you're giving up on me so I'll sign the papers tonight and you can have the house. You can have it all. I-I don’t want any of it if I’m not sharing it with you" Alex said, his voice showed his desperate exhaustion and the threat of tears was enough for him to walk away leaving Janie to her own thoughts on that old dock where even the serene peacefulness couldn't get Alex’s words out of Janie's head.
Notes
So, I got bored and updated...Basically you shouldn't even believe me when I say im not going to update for a while. The next few updates..after the next one are going to involve more of the guys of ATL though so I can get those bonds established.
<3 Katy
i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry
and that's a lie
10/11/14