It was dusk before Janie got back into the house after making sure she had locked the stables up properly. Walking into the den she found her parents sitting by the fire place reading, her mother a Nicholas Sparks novel and her father a farmer’s magazine. Janie couldn't help but smile while watching them. It was like nothing had ever changed with them, they sat reading the same books they had been reading ever since Janie was a child. Her mother with the sappy romance books and her father with the newest farmers magazine. It created a sense of normality for Janie, which is what she wanted more than anything, was just for everything to feel like normal again.

“Oh, you’re back” Ann noted, closing her book and focusing her attention on her daughter. She watched her with sad eyes, knowing that her daughter was trying her best to stay put together infront of them. Janie had always been that way though. She had a remarkable ability to put on a brave face and hide her true emotions away, but Ann knew that when she was locked away in her room that it would all fall apart. Countless times during Janie's teenage years Ann would hear her daughter crying herself to sleep and her heartbroke knowing that her daughter was hurting; just as she was heartbroken now.


“Yeah…where’s Adelia?” Janie asked looking around to make sure she didn’t just overlook the child.

“You’re father tucked her in, she’s waiting for you” Janie’s mother explained.

“Thanks daddy. I’ll see you in the morning it’s been a long day, I’m just going to kiss her goodnight real quick, love you” Janie said giving both of her parents a kiss good night and rushing upstairs to send her own daughter off to bed.

“Hey baby girl” Janie said, quietly entering the room that once belonged to her when she was just an innocent child.

“Mommy…”Adelia whined

“What baby?” Janie asked, sitting on the edge of the small princess bed she placed a comforting hand on her child’s back.

“I want daddy” Adelia cried, large tears falling down her cheeks. Janie softly brushed them away with the pads of her thumbs and kissed her forehead.

“I know baby…just try to get some sleep mommy loves you” Janie said trying her best to not let her child see what kind of stress this was putting her under.

“I love you too” Adelia said, Janie kissed her good night and turned her night light on to keep the monsters away before taking a last glimpse and closing the door. She walked into her own bedroom and sat on the bed, relaxing for a moment before taking her shoes off. She sat with her head in her hands trying to hold herself together, she took in deep breaths and wiped away the few tears that managed to sneak their way past her eyelashes. Finally, with a resounding sigh she got ready for bed but just as everything else seemed to not be going her way, even her rest was interrupted by the abrupt ringing of her cell phone.

“Hello?” Janie asked not even bothering to check the caller I.D.

“Janie! Thank God, Janie are you okay? Alex is worried sick about you” Jack began firing questions through the receiver.

“Jack, I’m fine” Janie sighed, not having the energy to respond in detail.

“oh…are you at home?” Jack asked, though he knew the answer already but he still hoped that maybe this was all a big misunderstanding and Janie had realized that and had gone back home to Alex, where as far as Jack was concerned, was where she belonged.

“No, I’m not at home”

“Janie just tell me where you are” Jack said, the agitation evident in his tone.

“ I don’t think I can do that Jack” Janie sighed, running her hand through her disheveled hair. Jack had always been like a brother to her but now she didn't know if that relationship still stood. She knew that Jack was going to just play messenger to Alex and she didn't want to do that to him.

“No…..no no no no no…please don’t tell me, Janie you didn’t really leave him?!” Jack shouted
exasperatedly

“Jack…” Janie hesitated.

“No Janie, you can’t just walk out you made a commitment don’t you remember?” Jack angrily yelled growing frustrated that his two best friends had somehow managed to let their relationship get to where it was.

“Yeah well so did he” Janie yelled back, just as frustrated as Jack had been.

“This isn’t about Alex” Jack tried to reason but even he knew that it was about Alex.

“This is just so typical of you. I leave him so I’m in the wrong? Did you ever stop and think that just maybe it was him? That maybe this is his fault?!” Janie yelled, though this time it was because she had reached her breaking point. The tears that she desperately tried to hold back had begun to slip down her cheeks leaving small wet paths.

"Janie, calm down” Jack sighed, realizing he had pushed the boundaries. “No...Jack just don’t. Don’t call me or text me or anything. I’m not a part of your little band family anymore…I get that you have to choose sides and you obviously are standing on his side so just leave me alone” Janie threw her phone across the room, not caring if it happened to break. She got into bed and managed to drift off into a land much happier than her current reality. However, if she would have checked on her phone she would have gotten the message Alex left saying that he was on his way to the farm, and she wouldn’t have woken up to an unwelcome surprise.

“Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!” Janie woke up to the three year old bouncing on her bed. Groaning, she pulled the blanket over her head and mumbled “five more minutes” but she couldn’t help but laugh at the situation.

“But mommy, daddy’s here!” Adelia happily exclaimed. Janie sat straight up and threw the blankets off; she swung her feet to the side of the bed and stood up.

“Adelia go to your room and play” Janie demanded as she ran downstairs, Adelia reluctantly obeyed her mother. Janie stopped just outside of the kitchen door, fixing her hair before walking in to find Alex and her father sitting at the table in a seemingly deep conversation.

“Janie!” Alex all but shouted Janie crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at him.

“Get out” she snapped, taking Alex off guard. His brow srunched in confusion and his lips curved into a deep frown as he tried to make sense of what was happening.

“I…what?” he lamely asked

“Unless you are here to personally tell me you signed the papers, get out” Janie repeated, Ray silently left the two alone in the kitchen knowing that this time he couldn’t fight his daughter’s battle.

“Janie….please” Alex pleaded

“It’s too late for that Alex” Janie snapped, her voice venomous and eyes daring but Alex had known her long enough to know that she was putting up a wall to push him away, and that behind that wall was the vulnerable girl that he loved so much.

“No…say it. Tell me to my face that we’re done. Tell me you don’t love me anymore” Alex whispered, trying his hardest to keep his front up. Janie hesitantly uncrossed her arms; her bottom lip began to quiver. This is why she didn’t want to face Alex in the first place.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is Alex” She sighed

“Say it” Alex repeated, daring her.

“I-I can’t. I do love you but this isn’t working Alex.” Janie whispered. Tears begin to pool in her green eyes and Alex felt a physical ache inside of his chest. He wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and make everything okay again. He’d give anything to take it all back and fix every mistake he had ever made in their relationship.

“Janie, please I can change. I will come home on time and I will read bed time stories to Adelia and…. and I love you Janie please” Alex begged Janie looked down at her bare feet not able to look at the pained expression that Alex wore. She couldn’t stand to see him hurting but she also wasn’t willing to listen to another one of his empty promises.

“Not every love story is supposed to come true Alex…I’m sorry. Just save yourself the trouble and sign the papers”

“No. I refuse. I’m not giving up on this. I’m not giving up on us” Alex said, his voice growing louder with desperation.

“Too bad you already did” Janie spat and once again walked away from Alex

“Whoa, now wait a second. How am I the one that gave up, when you walked out?! “Alex yelled as he chased after Janie up the stairs.

Janie stopped in her tracks, slowly turning around she glared at him. “Really? You really want to go there?” Janie asked incredulously.

“Yeah Janie I do want to go there. How do you expect to raise a child by yourself?” Alex asked, his voice showing nothing but confidence at the point he thought he made.

Janie’s eyes narrowed “I’ve been doing fine for the last two years…”

“W-what do you mean?” Alex asked.

“Oh please, after the first year she wasn’t your prized possession anymore and neither was I. Were you there for her first words, or her potty training, or when she had to get stitches when the little neighbor boy hit her with his shovel in the sandbox?” Janie listed a few of the milestones that Alex had missed in the short span of his daughters’ life.

“She had stitches?!”

“Exactly, I think I just proved my point. Alex just go…” Janie whispered.

“Janie…” Alex begged his voice cracking as his throat formed that familiar lump that had settled in ever since he read that damn letter.

“No… you know what hurts even more is that you didn’t only miss out on her life, and our marriage but you missed out on it because you were spending your time with someone else.” The tears finally pushed through Janie’s tear ducts, the front she had tried so hard to put on had finally faltered. That was the first time she had admitted to herself and out loud that Alex had an affair.

Alex ran a hand through his hair and covered his face. “I’m sorry. You have to believe me baby it didn’t mean anything” Alex tried to reassure her, tears fell down his face as the realization set in that this was his new reality.Janie bit her lip and choked out a strangled sob at hearing Alex actually confess to it. She had known about the affair for a while but deep down she had always hoped she was wrong.

"I wish I could, but you’re only sorry that you got caught we both know that, no use in denying it. Just tell me this…why Alex? What did she have that made her special? What was it that made me your second choice? What made her special enough to throw away your family for?” Janie cried out, her knees beginning to feel weak underneath the weight of her heavy heart.

Alex took a step toward her, resulting in her taking a step back; she didn’t want to be close to him ever again the thought itself made her sick to the stomach. She couldn’t fathom the idea of how Alex became this heartless monster when he used to be the boy she was madly in love in. The boy she willingly gave everything up for.

“Nothing. Nothing made her special. She could never compare to you, not on any level. ”Alex admitted.

“Was it worth it…worth this?” Janie asked, the lump in her throat tighetning as she tried to keep the sob from making its way out of her lungs. The honest truth was that no, it wasn’t worth it. Not at all, losing his wife, his daughter…his meaning none of it was worth a few good nights with a girl too beautiful for her own good.

“No…Janie please, we can work this out” Alex begged, reaching for her hand to hold onto whatever they had left.

“I spent two years trying to work this out. Two years Alex! I wasted two years giving you chance after chance only for you to let me down, only to see you continuously walk out the door. I tried to pretend like I didn’t know where you were going, tried to pretend that you were just going to the studio and for a while I actually believed it. But little by little the truth broke through, her perfume on your clothes when I did the laundry, the presents hidden in your drawer that weren’t for me, the constant calls to another woman on your phone. But through all that I stayed. I willed it all away because I promised to be there, with you forever and honestly I could have loved you my entire life and more. I waited for you to come around and now you’re too late. So just sign the papers Alex, stop acting like I mean a thing to you” Janie said, her voice diminishing to a whisper at the end; too exhausted to put up a fight any longer.

Alex stood on the top of the stair case watching as Janie walked away furiously wiping the tears from her flustered face. He felt his heart being ripped from his soul, every ounce of his being was drained from him. He had really lost her; this wasn’t something a band-aid could heal, this wasn’t even a broken heart anymore but more like a lost, tortured soul. Alex couldn’t help but wonder if this was the same feeling that Janie had felt for the last two years of their marriage, and it was all his fault. The floor boards creaked, Alex looked up in hopes that Janie was coming back to him, to help pick up the broken pieces of his life. But instead it was their three year old Adelia tugging her old teddy bear behind her as she hugged his legs.

“ I love you daddy” Adelia said, Alex crouched down and kissed her cheek.

“I love you too baby girl, I love you too”

​ The moment was bitter sweet, he knew that she was just an innocent victim caught between two raging wars and hearing those words tugged at his heart Adelia hugged him a second time and yawned making Alex chuckle “Go to bed princess” He shooed.

Notes

I realized how busy I am next week so I decided I will just update throughout this week and then you guys might have to wait like a week. I have 18 hours of college and an internship with a record label so my free time is pretty much gone. I might just start updating on weekends.
Anyways, thanks to everyone that has commented!
<3 Katy