No Idea
Collisions of a Finer Love
"Honey, come in, are you hungry? I just started breakfast" Ann, Janie's mother ushered her daughter and grand-child into the familiar always cozy, and welcoming home. Everything was just as Janie had remembered; the house sat with the usual holiday decorations for thanksgiving, and the house smelled of the holiday season as well. Janie didn't know how her mom always managed to make the house look perfect and smell like pumpkin spice every year, but she loved it.
"Thanks ma, I'm not hungry but could you fix a plate for Adelia she's been complaining ever since we got into North Carolina" Janie said
"Of course, honey" Ann said and headed to the kitchen while Janie sat with Adelia at the table.
"Honey, I will sit with her, your father is in the barn" Ann said to her daughter while setting the plate of food in front of Adelia. She sat a hand on Janie's shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly "it'll all work out sweetie"
"I hope so....I hope so" Janie whispered and kissed her moms cheek before grabbing her jacket and heading outside.
She shoved her hands in her pockets and slowly walked to the back yard where the big old barn was located. The barn had changed over the years though, Janie could still remember being a kid and painting the barn with her father. She waited patiently for it to be built; she was so excited to help her old man paint it. He promised her that they could paint it any color she wanted but Janie knew he really wanted a traditional barn so she settled with the color red. Now though the paint was chipping off to reveal the old, weathered wood and the roof was missing shingles. Janie knew that soon enough the barn would have to be replaced and it killed her to know that her childhood barn, her memories would be torn down.
"Hey old man" Janie said as she walked into the open barn. Her father whom was grooming the horses turned around at her voice.
"hey baby girl" Ray said, wiping his hands on his already dirty jeans. He walked over to his daughter and wrapped his arms around her like he had so many times before in her lifetime.
"Daddy....what if im not doing the right thing?" Janie whispered, sounding like the scared child that she used to be when she had been picked on at school. Her father had held her the same way then that he was now and Janie was thankful for that.
"Janie, honey it's going to be okay. It's okay to walk away sometimes"
"Daddy...I love him. I love him so much. How am I supposed to do this alone? How do I raise a child alone?" Janie asked, the tears spilling from her eyes again.
"Baby, you're not alone. You're never alone, your mother and I will do everything we can to help you and give our grand baby a happy life" Ray assured his emotionally unstable daughter.
"Janie....I just want you to know that I am proud of you honey. I am so proud of you and I love you. I know I don't say it enough but baby girl you have made me so proud. You have grown into a beautiful, strong minded, young woman." Ray held his daughter even tighter.
"I love you too daddy....thank you" Janie sobbed, her arms squeezing her father as tight as she could and that's when she noticed how much his frame has shrunk, but she didn't bother to question him about it, she figured it was just his age catching up with him.
"Addie Mae is in the kitchen with ma...you should go see her she's missed you" Janie said, using the name that her father gave Adelia when she was born. She could remember it like it was yesterday, her father was holding the baby in his arms and he looked down into her eyes and said "I'm going to love you Addie Mae." Janie smiled at the memory and kissed her dad on the cheek.
"Okay...lock up the barn when you're done" Ray reminded before heading back into the house. Janie walked towards her horse, her hand barely lingering on the strong jaw of the magnificent creature. She had always admired horses, how strong and free spirited they were, unlike any other animal.
"What do ya say Noah...wanna go for a ride?" Janie asked the stallion while she gathered the riding gear. The horse neighed as if it actually understood the girl. Janie led the horse to the open field before straddling it and taking off, leaving all of her troubles behind at least for a little while.
Alex sat on the still made bed, he hadn't slept at all, his eyes were red and puffy and he felt like crap. He spent the whole night calling Janie and everyone Janie knows, but Janie never answered and no one else even knew she left. He'd call her parents but he figured they didn't know either and he didn't want to worry them.
He threw the divorce papers to the side, refusing to sign them; refusing to admit that he had failed as a father and a husband, refusing to admit that his marriage was coming undone. He held her wedding ring in his hand, admiring it like he had when he first bought it. He was so nervous the night that he had proposed to her, he couldn't stop fidgeting as he waited for her to get ready but it was definitely worth the wait. She had come downstairs, her hair in long, tumbling curls down her back, her makeup was to a minimum, showing off her natural beauty and her dress was that gorgeous teal color that always looked good on her. Alex had taken her to a fancy Italian restaurant before they walked along the boardwalk where they stopped at a small, family run ice cream shop and both got ice cream cones. By the end of the night Alex had taken Janie to the beach pier that they first met at, there he proposed to her. Everything about that night was perfect. Alex couldn't fathom how he let someone so perfect walk away, how he could push that kind of love away.
Tears threatened to escape his already swollen eyes as Alex recalled the bittersweet memory. He willed the tears away and reached for the box, curious to what he would find inside of it. Removing the lid he picked up the first picture in the stack, the same picture that Janie had reluctantly placed into the box. He involuntarily smiled at the sight of the picture before breaking down, uncontrollable sobs wreaking havoc through his body. All he had to do was tell her to stay, fight for her, tell her that he loves her, hold her and whisper sweet nothings to her. All of those simple things would have made her stay, he was sure of it. So why then was it so hard for him to see it then, why did it take her walking out to realize this? Alex placed the photograph back into the box before grabbing the next item, a DVD. He proceeded to remove his lazy, tired body from the bed for t the first time in hours and placed the DVD into the player. He grabbed both the DVD player remote and the TV remote and once again made himself comfortable on the too big, empty bed. His breath hitched in his already sore throat when Janie appeared on the screen.
“Is it on? Is it working?” The beautiful, flamboyant brunette asked. She never was any good with technology; she claimed that technology just hates her. Slowly she backed away from the camera making her whole body visible on the screen. A bright smile played on her face, her eyes lit up like a country sky full of stars, Alex couldn’t remember the last time he saw that look on her face, that happiness in her eyes.
“Hey baby. Can you believe we’ve come this far? It seems like yesterday you were dumping your soda down my brand new shirt.” Janie laughed her laughter like choir bells it was too contagious to ignore. “I’m going to be walking down the aisle in ten minutes…I just want to say that I love you, forever and always Alex William Gaskarth ” Janie smiled and blew a kiss to the camera.
Alex felt his throat grow that too familiar lump in the back, the one that made your throat hurt “Forever and always” he whispered. That had always been Janie’s trademark; she never just told him “I love you,” pulling himself together Alex watched the rest of the wedding video. They had married outside at Janie’s parent’s house; it was beautiful but simple just how Janie had always pictured her wedding day. The camera focused on Janie as she walked down the aisle with her father.
The couple stood together at the altar, huge smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes as they said their vows. “Alexander William Gaskarth, you are my light at the end of the tunnel. You are my best friend, and my one and only love. I promise to always cherish this special bond that we have. I promise to stand by you, support you, encourage you and love you for the rest of my life. I promise to be compassionate and understanding. I can’t promise you happiness but I can promise to love you, forever and always” Janie said, wiping the tears from her eyes after gliding the ring onto Alex’s finger.
“Janie, you are and eternally will be the love of my life. I can’t even begin to imagine a life without you. I didn’t know what love was until I met you. I promise to always be your shoulder and your rock. I promise to stand by you forever. I promise to always love you. I love you Janie, forever and always.” Alex said and slid the elegant ring onto Janie’s delicate finger. They kissed and the priest pronounced them for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Gaskarth. That’s when the video ended, it was as if it suddenly all clicked in his mind… the picture at the farm, the video at the farm, as if they were all unintentional clues left behind by Janie.
“The farm” Alex whispered, realization finally dawning on him. He quickly stood up and ran to the front door, grabbing the keys he left in the door Alex rushed to the airport and caught they red eye to North Carolina.
"Thanks ma, I'm not hungry but could you fix a plate for Adelia she's been complaining ever since we got into North Carolina" Janie said
"Of course, honey" Ann said and headed to the kitchen while Janie sat with Adelia at the table.
"Honey, I will sit with her, your father is in the barn" Ann said to her daughter while setting the plate of food in front of Adelia. She sat a hand on Janie's shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly "it'll all work out sweetie"
"I hope so....I hope so" Janie whispered and kissed her moms cheek before grabbing her jacket and heading outside.
She shoved her hands in her pockets and slowly walked to the back yard where the big old barn was located. The barn had changed over the years though, Janie could still remember being a kid and painting the barn with her father. She waited patiently for it to be built; she was so excited to help her old man paint it. He promised her that they could paint it any color she wanted but Janie knew he really wanted a traditional barn so she settled with the color red. Now though the paint was chipping off to reveal the old, weathered wood and the roof was missing shingles. Janie knew that soon enough the barn would have to be replaced and it killed her to know that her childhood barn, her memories would be torn down.
"Hey old man" Janie said as she walked into the open barn. Her father whom was grooming the horses turned around at her voice.
"hey baby girl" Ray said, wiping his hands on his already dirty jeans. He walked over to his daughter and wrapped his arms around her like he had so many times before in her lifetime.
"Daddy....what if im not doing the right thing?" Janie whispered, sounding like the scared child that she used to be when she had been picked on at school. Her father had held her the same way then that he was now and Janie was thankful for that.
"Janie, honey it's going to be okay. It's okay to walk away sometimes"
"Daddy...I love him. I love him so much. How am I supposed to do this alone? How do I raise a child alone?" Janie asked, the tears spilling from her eyes again.
"Baby, you're not alone. You're never alone, your mother and I will do everything we can to help you and give our grand baby a happy life" Ray assured his emotionally unstable daughter.
"Janie....I just want you to know that I am proud of you honey. I am so proud of you and I love you. I know I don't say it enough but baby girl you have made me so proud. You have grown into a beautiful, strong minded, young woman." Ray held his daughter even tighter.
"I love you too daddy....thank you" Janie sobbed, her arms squeezing her father as tight as she could and that's when she noticed how much his frame has shrunk, but she didn't bother to question him about it, she figured it was just his age catching up with him.
"Addie Mae is in the kitchen with ma...you should go see her she's missed you" Janie said, using the name that her father gave Adelia when she was born. She could remember it like it was yesterday, her father was holding the baby in his arms and he looked down into her eyes and said "I'm going to love you Addie Mae." Janie smiled at the memory and kissed her dad on the cheek.
"Okay...lock up the barn when you're done" Ray reminded before heading back into the house. Janie walked towards her horse, her hand barely lingering on the strong jaw of the magnificent creature. She had always admired horses, how strong and free spirited they were, unlike any other animal.
"What do ya say Noah...wanna go for a ride?" Janie asked the stallion while she gathered the riding gear. The horse neighed as if it actually understood the girl. Janie led the horse to the open field before straddling it and taking off, leaving all of her troubles behind at least for a little while.
Alex sat on the still made bed, he hadn't slept at all, his eyes were red and puffy and he felt like crap. He spent the whole night calling Janie and everyone Janie knows, but Janie never answered and no one else even knew she left. He'd call her parents but he figured they didn't know either and he didn't want to worry them.
He threw the divorce papers to the side, refusing to sign them; refusing to admit that he had failed as a father and a husband, refusing to admit that his marriage was coming undone. He held her wedding ring in his hand, admiring it like he had when he first bought it. He was so nervous the night that he had proposed to her, he couldn't stop fidgeting as he waited for her to get ready but it was definitely worth the wait. She had come downstairs, her hair in long, tumbling curls down her back, her makeup was to a minimum, showing off her natural beauty and her dress was that gorgeous teal color that always looked good on her. Alex had taken her to a fancy Italian restaurant before they walked along the boardwalk where they stopped at a small, family run ice cream shop and both got ice cream cones. By the end of the night Alex had taken Janie to the beach pier that they first met at, there he proposed to her. Everything about that night was perfect. Alex couldn't fathom how he let someone so perfect walk away, how he could push that kind of love away.
Tears threatened to escape his already swollen eyes as Alex recalled the bittersweet memory. He willed the tears away and reached for the box, curious to what he would find inside of it. Removing the lid he picked up the first picture in the stack, the same picture that Janie had reluctantly placed into the box. He involuntarily smiled at the sight of the picture before breaking down, uncontrollable sobs wreaking havoc through his body. All he had to do was tell her to stay, fight for her, tell her that he loves her, hold her and whisper sweet nothings to her. All of those simple things would have made her stay, he was sure of it. So why then was it so hard for him to see it then, why did it take her walking out to realize this? Alex placed the photograph back into the box before grabbing the next item, a DVD. He proceeded to remove his lazy, tired body from the bed for t the first time in hours and placed the DVD into the player. He grabbed both the DVD player remote and the TV remote and once again made himself comfortable on the too big, empty bed. His breath hitched in his already sore throat when Janie appeared on the screen.
“Is it on? Is it working?” The beautiful, flamboyant brunette asked. She never was any good with technology; she claimed that technology just hates her. Slowly she backed away from the camera making her whole body visible on the screen. A bright smile played on her face, her eyes lit up like a country sky full of stars, Alex couldn’t remember the last time he saw that look on her face, that happiness in her eyes.
“Hey baby. Can you believe we’ve come this far? It seems like yesterday you were dumping your soda down my brand new shirt.” Janie laughed her laughter like choir bells it was too contagious to ignore. “I’m going to be walking down the aisle in ten minutes…I just want to say that I love you, forever and always Alex William Gaskarth ” Janie smiled and blew a kiss to the camera.
Alex felt his throat grow that too familiar lump in the back, the one that made your throat hurt “Forever and always” he whispered. That had always been Janie’s trademark; she never just told him “I love you,” pulling himself together Alex watched the rest of the wedding video. They had married outside at Janie’s parent’s house; it was beautiful but simple just how Janie had always pictured her wedding day. The camera focused on Janie as she walked down the aisle with her father.
The couple stood together at the altar, huge smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes as they said their vows. “Alexander William Gaskarth, you are my light at the end of the tunnel. You are my best friend, and my one and only love. I promise to always cherish this special bond that we have. I promise to stand by you, support you, encourage you and love you for the rest of my life. I promise to be compassionate and understanding. I can’t promise you happiness but I can promise to love you, forever and always” Janie said, wiping the tears from her eyes after gliding the ring onto Alex’s finger.
“Janie, you are and eternally will be the love of my life. I can’t even begin to imagine a life without you. I didn’t know what love was until I met you. I promise to always be your shoulder and your rock. I promise to stand by you forever. I promise to always love you. I love you Janie, forever and always.” Alex said and slid the elegant ring onto Janie’s delicate finger. They kissed and the priest pronounced them for the first time as Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Gaskarth. That’s when the video ended, it was as if it suddenly all clicked in his mind… the picture at the farm, the video at the farm, as if they were all unintentional clues left behind by Janie.
“The farm” Alex whispered, realization finally dawning on him. He quickly stood up and ran to the front door, grabbing the keys he left in the door Alex rushed to the airport and caught they red eye to North Carolina.
Notes
So, I got excited about having a comment and decided to go ahead and update again.Though, I should add that I will probably only update once a week for the rest of the story.
<3 Katy
i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry i will not cry
and that's a lie
10/11/14