Breaking Down Walls.
Thirty-Six
Alex
It was a few days after staying in the hotel, I still hadn't spoken to Ivy about what I saw, I've been carrying on as normal but the thought and the touch caused a burning in my brain. I wasn't sure how I was to handle the situation with her. I knew I would have to take it easy. We were currently all in the back lounge of the bus watching stupid TV shows Ivy was sat next to her brother giggling like a 5 year old. I wasn't sure if it was fake or real. I guess with Ivy you couldn't ever really know. I couldn't stand the thought of being in her right now, It' hard to look at her and to think she has to go through it alone once again. She couldn't even talk to me.I get up and leave the room needing fresh air. I open the bus doors and step off. I can see Ivy watching me leave, I nod my head at her so she knows I'm okay, although I’m anything but okay. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard, but feeling those horrible lines on her again makes me scared, scared that she's going to do it again. I slow my breathing down and remove a tear that threatens to fall down my cheek; I take a seat on a bench nearby the bus. I look over towards the door seeing my beautiful girlfriend walking towards me looking concerned.
"Alex?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I’m all good here you?"
"Worried"
"Why?"
"You look upset Alex, tell me what's going on?"
She stands in front of me arms folded staring into my eyes, she keeps looking searching for the answer, I feel almost scared under her deep stare.
"Why did you do it again?"
She freezes, almost like she can't move, I know she just wants to run but she doesn't her stare drops to her feet, she looks defeated..
Ivy
I saw as Alex left the bus, I knew there was something going on. I could tell. I let him leave me shortly after following the same way, I see him sat on bench looking over at me.
When he said those 6 words
"Why did you do it again?"
I froze; I knew what he was talking about although I was going to do my hardest to deny it. I feel like I've already loss the ability to talk to him I just want to run and get away but I couldn't I was stuck. I felt Alex's arms slip round me I move in closer to him, I feel the burning tears fall down my face. I didn't want him to feel bad or feel sorry for me I managed to push him away from my body, my legs finally starting to work again I ran into the bus, past the kitchen and into the bathroom. I tried to steady my breathing, It wasn't working no matter how hard to I tried my chest just kept getting tighter and my breathing heavier. I heard Alex calling out for me, I started to call back but it came out as nothing but a whisper. I saw the door fly open and Alex crashing his body to mine just before I started to collapse. I heard Alex calling me again telling me to breathe and to steady my breathing. To follow his movements, I started to copy his breathing, the light headed feeling started to remove itself.
I heard Alex say for everyone to go away and that I was fine. Zack started to become protective and quick. Telling Alex to leave and to let him deal with me. I felt like I was a crying baby. I was breathing normally now I managed to stand up I pushed past the two boys arguing and went and laid in my bunk and turned away from everyone sticking headphones in and turning on some blink 12, and crying to myself dreading Alex talking to me again tonight. I knew they'd be leaving to play a show in about 10 minutes. I could settle down and get some sleep. I thought I had started to finally break down these walls I built around myself; I was now starting to feel them rise back up. Knowing this was the last show made everything better. I feel into a sleep once I heard the bus door slam.
It was a few days after staying in the hotel, I still hadn't spoken to Ivy about what I saw, I've been carrying on as normal but the thought and the touch caused a burning in my brain. I wasn't sure how I was to handle the situation with her. I knew I would have to take it easy. We were currently all in the back lounge of the bus watching stupid TV shows Ivy was sat next to her brother giggling like a 5 year old. I wasn't sure if it was fake or real. I guess with Ivy you couldn't ever really know. I couldn't stand the thought of being in her right now, It' hard to look at her and to think she has to go through it alone once again. She couldn't even talk to me.I get up and leave the room needing fresh air. I open the bus doors and step off. I can see Ivy watching me leave, I nod my head at her so she knows I'm okay, although I’m anything but okay. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard, but feeling those horrible lines on her again makes me scared, scared that she's going to do it again. I slow my breathing down and remove a tear that threatens to fall down my cheek; I take a seat on a bench nearby the bus. I look over towards the door seeing my beautiful girlfriend walking towards me looking concerned.
"Alex?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I’m all good here you?"
"Worried"
"Why?"
"You look upset Alex, tell me what's going on?"
She stands in front of me arms folded staring into my eyes, she keeps looking searching for the answer, I feel almost scared under her deep stare.
"Why did you do it again?"
She freezes, almost like she can't move, I know she just wants to run but she doesn't her stare drops to her feet, she looks defeated..
Ivy
I saw as Alex left the bus, I knew there was something going on. I could tell. I let him leave me shortly after following the same way, I see him sat on bench looking over at me.
When he said those 6 words
"Why did you do it again?"
I froze; I knew what he was talking about although I was going to do my hardest to deny it. I feel like I've already loss the ability to talk to him I just want to run and get away but I couldn't I was stuck. I felt Alex's arms slip round me I move in closer to him, I feel the burning tears fall down my face. I didn't want him to feel bad or feel sorry for me I managed to push him away from my body, my legs finally starting to work again I ran into the bus, past the kitchen and into the bathroom. I tried to steady my breathing, It wasn't working no matter how hard to I tried my chest just kept getting tighter and my breathing heavier. I heard Alex calling out for me, I started to call back but it came out as nothing but a whisper. I saw the door fly open and Alex crashing his body to mine just before I started to collapse. I heard Alex calling me again telling me to breathe and to steady my breathing. To follow his movements, I started to copy his breathing, the light headed feeling started to remove itself.
I heard Alex say for everyone to go away and that I was fine. Zack started to become protective and quick. Telling Alex to leave and to let him deal with me. I felt like I was a crying baby. I was breathing normally now I managed to stand up I pushed past the two boys arguing and went and laid in my bunk and turned away from everyone sticking headphones in and turning on some blink 12, and crying to myself dreading Alex talking to me again tonight. I knew they'd be leaving to play a show in about 10 minutes. I could settle down and get some sleep. I thought I had started to finally break down these walls I built around myself; I was now starting to feel them rise back up. Knowing this was the last show made everything better. I feel into a sleep once I heard the bus door slam.
Notes
Okay, So I know this is short. I'm sorry the next one will be longer
I'm still getting a bit stuck with what to write and how to end it, but it might be in the next few chapters.
There is a hidden ATL lyric find and say in the comments for a shout out!
-Kay
P.S
You guys should go check out GhostWriter's Stories
And Also check out Forgetful-Insomniacs BVB/PTV's Story here
Ivys Outfit (Haven't done one for a while)
Hops on black Pegasus of rainbow feels to ride next story
9/6/14