Breaking Down Walls.
Thirty-Three
IVY
'only if I knew what I was going to walk out like.'
As I walked out of the bathroom with a tear stained face, with yet more tears falling everything was in slow motion I looked over to Alex, who looked straight back at me and smiled, he then took a second glance at me, realizing I was still in my clothes, but his 3rd glance was the one that got him, he jumped from the bed just in time to catch me as my legs gave way.
"Ivy why are you crying?"
He received no answer, I had no idea why I didn't talk to him, I couldn't he started raising his voice at me and tears kept coming down. He was worried. I could see it in his eyes every time he would look at me.
"Ivy please baby, just tell me what's wrong with you. It's me Ivy, It's Alex, I'm here for you"
I wanted to leave, I needed to leave I felt to numb to be around anyone, I now know how everyone felt when I was close, It broke my heart that I could make people feel this numbness for so long, I didn't know what to say, I wanted to run, but I knew my legs wouldn't carry me, but I needed to get away from Alex, I couldn't see him hurt. I pulled myself away from him with difficulty he then tried to pull me back worried that I'd fall again, but I stumbled out of the door, without a word to Alex I took one last look at him before shutting the door, I started backing away from the door, feeling worse. I backed away until I couldn't any more, something was stopping me I turned around to see Zack, I didn't want this right now I just wanted to leave, but as he look down at me, he first notice the red marks from all the tears.
"Woah! shit Ivy. Wait are you okay? what's happened?"
I couldn't reply but I know what I needed, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, I remembered how this used to make me feel better before mom and dad, if something went wrong at school, Zack would just stand and hug me, that's what I needed I needed Zack. My brother.
ZACK
I was walking back to my room when I bumped into something, I looked down to see a tear stained Ivy looking back up at me.
"Woah! shit Ivy. Wait are you okay? what's happened?"
She didn't reply, she looked like more tears could fall at any second, then suddenly she wrapped her arms
around me tightly, I then started to remember how she used to do this when something was wrong, and she couldn't talk about it, she would just need a hug, but I was starting to think that whatever was going on with her needed more than just a hug to fix.
I picked her up and carried her into my room I sat her on my bed and I took the spot next to her
"Do you want to talk about it Ivy?"
She shook her head
"Ivy please, you can't cry and not tell me why we aren't teenagers anymore the whole hugging thing can't take it away, please talk to me about this.
"I don't know how I don't know what to say, I feel so bad Zack"
"You do know how just tell me"
"Dylan is in hospital his mom called me"
"What?!"
I know Ivy had only known Dylan for a short time but I know he meant a lot to her.
"They don't know what happened then think it might be a suicide attempt but they don't know until he wakes up"
"He's on a coma?"
"Yes and I feel bad because when I got that phone call it made me realise what you guys went through when I did this, I'm not sure what to do Zack I just closed Alex out completely I just walked out on him without an explanation when I left I didn't even know where I was going I just needed to leave, I needed to feel mom and dad again I wanted to be with them. But I realise that this is what I needed I need you Zack I don't need to feel mom or dad anymore I just want you."
"I'm so sorry Ivy is there anything I can do; do you need to be with him? Please do not worry about what we went through because now we are better you are here with us if you didn't fight through it would have been a different story I am here for you, Ivy I always have been but I've not been good at showing it and I'm sorry for that I love you sis".
"I don't think if be of any help, we stopped talking I don't think he'd want to see me, maybe when we get home and he still isn't awake. I love you too Zack please let's not lost each other again"
"We won't"
IVY
I left Zack's room not feeling any better but I wanted him to believe that we were closer and that if anything was wrong we'd talk just so I could go on as normal without him noticing.
I made my way back to my room and knocked on the door in just have been gone an hour with Zack I knew we only had an hour left I didn't want to talk to Alex but he swung the door open and pulled me in and hugged me like he didn't want to let go he probably thought I was going to run again I removed myself from his grasp telling him I needed to shower.
I felt selfish Dylan is lying in a hospital bed and I'm thinking what I can do that will bring me pain I notice the clothes laid out for me in the bathroom I shout a thank you to Alex but I get no reply I think nothing of it and turn the shower on as I step in I let the boiling water hit my skin feeling the burn I let it cascade down my back whilst I search for someone just something to make me feel again. I find what I was looking for it was calling out to me, I picked it up and longing stared into it. Did I really want to do this. I guess the answer was yes before I knew it there was blood running down my thighs, I cleaned myself and the blade up and place it back where I found it I jump out of the shower I grab the clothes from the side and with the towel I dry myself and quickly get change making sure I didn't leave any traces of blood. I unlock the bathroom to realize Alex had disappeared I walked over to the mirror to see a note
'Gone down to the bar to get Jack you look beautiful I love you remember you can talk to me'
I let a tear fall feeling my thigh I finish getting ready and tape a smile to my face, I text Alex letting him know I'm on my way. Hopefully Zack hasn't told anyone anything.
'only if I knew what I was going to walk out like.'
As I walked out of the bathroom with a tear stained face, with yet more tears falling everything was in slow motion I looked over to Alex, who looked straight back at me and smiled, he then took a second glance at me, realizing I was still in my clothes, but his 3rd glance was the one that got him, he jumped from the bed just in time to catch me as my legs gave way.
"Ivy why are you crying?"
He received no answer, I had no idea why I didn't talk to him, I couldn't he started raising his voice at me and tears kept coming down. He was worried. I could see it in his eyes every time he would look at me.
"Ivy please baby, just tell me what's wrong with you. It's me Ivy, It's Alex, I'm here for you"
I wanted to leave, I needed to leave I felt to numb to be around anyone, I now know how everyone felt when I was close, It broke my heart that I could make people feel this numbness for so long, I didn't know what to say, I wanted to run, but I knew my legs wouldn't carry me, but I needed to get away from Alex, I couldn't see him hurt. I pulled myself away from him with difficulty he then tried to pull me back worried that I'd fall again, but I stumbled out of the door, without a word to Alex I took one last look at him before shutting the door, I started backing away from the door, feeling worse. I backed away until I couldn't any more, something was stopping me I turned around to see Zack, I didn't want this right now I just wanted to leave, but as he look down at me, he first notice the red marks from all the tears.
"Woah! shit Ivy. Wait are you okay? what's happened?"
I couldn't reply but I know what I needed, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, I remembered how this used to make me feel better before mom and dad, if something went wrong at school, Zack would just stand and hug me, that's what I needed I needed Zack. My brother.
ZACK
I was walking back to my room when I bumped into something, I looked down to see a tear stained Ivy looking back up at me.
"Woah! shit Ivy. Wait are you okay? what's happened?"
She didn't reply, she looked like more tears could fall at any second, then suddenly she wrapped her arms
around me tightly, I then started to remember how she used to do this when something was wrong, and she couldn't talk about it, she would just need a hug, but I was starting to think that whatever was going on with her needed more than just a hug to fix.
I picked her up and carried her into my room I sat her on my bed and I took the spot next to her
"Do you want to talk about it Ivy?"
She shook her head
"Ivy please, you can't cry and not tell me why we aren't teenagers anymore the whole hugging thing can't take it away, please talk to me about this.
"I don't know how I don't know what to say, I feel so bad Zack"
"You do know how just tell me"
"Dylan is in hospital his mom called me"
"What?!"
I know Ivy had only known Dylan for a short time but I know he meant a lot to her.
"They don't know what happened then think it might be a suicide attempt but they don't know until he wakes up"
"He's on a coma?"
"Yes and I feel bad because when I got that phone call it made me realise what you guys went through when I did this, I'm not sure what to do Zack I just closed Alex out completely I just walked out on him without an explanation when I left I didn't even know where I was going I just needed to leave, I needed to feel mom and dad again I wanted to be with them. But I realise that this is what I needed I need you Zack I don't need to feel mom or dad anymore I just want you."
"I'm so sorry Ivy is there anything I can do; do you need to be with him? Please do not worry about what we went through because now we are better you are here with us if you didn't fight through it would have been a different story I am here for you, Ivy I always have been but I've not been good at showing it and I'm sorry for that I love you sis".
"I don't think if be of any help, we stopped talking I don't think he'd want to see me, maybe when we get home and he still isn't awake. I love you too Zack please let's not lost each other again"
"We won't"
IVY
I left Zack's room not feeling any better but I wanted him to believe that we were closer and that if anything was wrong we'd talk just so I could go on as normal without him noticing.
I made my way back to my room and knocked on the door in just have been gone an hour with Zack I knew we only had an hour left I didn't want to talk to Alex but he swung the door open and pulled me in and hugged me like he didn't want to let go he probably thought I was going to run again I removed myself from his grasp telling him I needed to shower.
I felt selfish Dylan is lying in a hospital bed and I'm thinking what I can do that will bring me pain I notice the clothes laid out for me in the bathroom I shout a thank you to Alex but I get no reply I think nothing of it and turn the shower on as I step in I let the boiling water hit my skin feeling the burn I let it cascade down my back whilst I search for someone just something to make me feel again. I find what I was looking for it was calling out to me, I picked it up and longing stared into it. Did I really want to do this. I guess the answer was yes before I knew it there was blood running down my thighs, I cleaned myself and the blade up and place it back where I found it I jump out of the shower I grab the clothes from the side and with the towel I dry myself and quickly get change making sure I didn't leave any traces of blood. I unlock the bathroom to realize Alex had disappeared I walked over to the mirror to see a note
'Gone down to the bar to get Jack you look beautiful I love you remember you can talk to me'
I let a tear fall feeling my thigh I finish getting ready and tape a smile to my face, I text Alex letting him know I'm on my way. Hopefully Zack hasn't told anyone anything.
Notes
I know this is late.
This isn't what I wanted the chapter to turn out like, but 3 times I had to start again because I lost the work. This is the final chapter, if there are any mistakes I was on my phone doing the last half. Please don't shout at me <3
What do you think?
Where you expecting that?
-Kay
Hops on black Pegasus of rainbow feels to ride next story
9/6/14