Chapter 2

Jack’s POV

“MATT!” I yelled, walking in the apartment.

“WHAT?”

“GET YOUR FLAT ASS OVER HERE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!”

He groaned and came out to where I was. “What?”

“Alex kissed me.”

Silence. No reaction from Matt. He didn’t even look fazed, until it sunk in. “Oh fuck.”

“I know.”

“And?”

“I kissed him back.”

“And?”

“He’s an amazing kisser.”

“And?”

“And he said it was a one time experience.”

“AND?”

“And I want it to happen again.”

Matt grinned. “I knew you were gay.”

I smack him. “Am not.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Did you not just say you wanted to kiss your student again?”

I sighed. “No, I did.”

“So then what are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is he hot now?”

“Yes. And adorable.” I sighed, frustrated, and walked back to my room and stayed there for the rest of the night.

Alex was on my mind. I tried to sleep, but his expression after school when he was telling me about the comments was stuck in my head. It broke my heart to see him so broken. I’m glad he felt he could open up to me though, because I really want to get to know him (and his lips) better.

And then the kiss. It was perfect. Soft and gentle and sweet and fucking fantastic. It was so amazing. I wanted to kiss him all day, the same exact way. He had probably never kissed anyone as sweetly before. He seems like due to his reputation, he would kiss others forcefully and coldly. Like he only wanted sex. Which was what he was known for.

But having him kiss me like that made me feel... Weightless.

I eventually drifted off to sleep with Alex on my mind.

~~~
Alex’s POV

I was still up, talking to Tom. “He knows as much about me as you do!”

“Really?”

“Well, you still know more. But he knows about the suicide thoughts and attempt and who I really am, the band nerd.”

“So do you LIKE him?”

“I don’t know!” I groaned, frustrated.

“Okay, we’ll talk more tomorrow. It’s late and I’m tired. Night Lex.”

“Night.” I walked back to my room and lay in my bed, thinking of Jack.

He was hot and cute. An amazing kisser. Sweet. Caring. Funny.

Perfect.

I sighed and fell asleep.

~~~
Jack’s POV

I walked in the room as the first period came in. Alex just smiled at me. He still looked like he was recovering. I smiled back and started teaching. It wasn’t a long lesson, so we had some free time. Alex took out his guitar.

“Sing Alex!” A blonde said. He smiled at her, but not really acknowledging her.

“ I wish you could see your face right now,
‘Cause you’re grinning like a fool...” He sang, eyes closed and hair in his face. The chorus is what got me.

“You're just a daydream away,
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you.
And I'll keep you a daydream away,
Just watch from a safe place,
So I never have to lose...”

Well fuck. Did he write this about me? Nobody was really reacting while he sang. Until he finished and they all clapped. I did too.

“You’re such an awesome singer, dude!” Someone commented. He smiled.

“Thanks.”

“What was it about?”

“Someone I sort of like.”

“Ooooh, who?” They all asked, wanting gossip.

He laughed a little. “Have fun trying to figure it out.”

I smiled at him. He smiled back, looking genuinely happy, not faking it. His eyes looked brighter than yesterday. Someone told him to play some We Are the In Crowd.

“Ahh, WATIC. Gotta love Tay Jardine. Anyone want to sing her parts?” He asked. “Cassadee, get over here.”

Cassadee went over and sat next to him. “Alright girl, whatcha wanna sing?” He said to her.

“Um... For The Win.”

Alex grinned and nodded, starting to play. “I’ve got a way with words and it’s the cause of all my problems...”

Damn, he was a good singer. Why couldn’t I just like, steal his vocal chords? He was so good.

He laughed at the end of the song and kissed Cassadee on the cheek in thanks. I knew he didn’t like her, but jealously still bubbled slightly in my stomach. The bell rang and he packed his guitar up. “Later, Baraslut.” He grinned on his way out.

“Bye Gayskank.” I replied, laughing. Would this be considered flirting? I was way over-thinking this whole thing. He said it was a one time thing. He wasn’t going to kiss me again.

My next class filed in. “Mr. Barakat, I have to leave early today.” A girl named Juliet said, handing me a note.

“Okay, just leave when you need to.” I said. She nodded and sat down.

My classes seemed a little more lively since Alex was back. It was much more enjoyable. My fifth period talked about him in their free time. I joined in the conversation.

“Do you know why Alex was in the hospital, Mr. Barakat?” One asked.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I can’t give it away, sorry. That’s Alex’s choice to tell you.” I shrugged.

“Please?”

“You can ask Alex yourself. He probably won’t tell you, but you can try.” I said.

She huffed in annoyance and crossed her arms. I laughed at her child-ness as the bell rang and my free period came.

“Have a nice day everyone.” I said as they left.

I sat in my spinny chair and chewed on a piece of gum. My door opened and a group of girls dressed like the biggest sluts possible came tramping in.

“Hi Mr. Barakaaat.” They said, trying to sound seductive.

“Do you need something?” I asked, not looking at their pushed up boobs.

They all giggled. “Yeah, ummm, can you like, teach us something?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Is this English related or not?”

“Not.”

“Then no, I can’t teach you anything.”

“But Mr. Barakaaaat!” She whined. “You’re so hot!”

I laughed. “Sorry girls, I’ve got my eyes on someone else.”

They all pouted. “Who?”

“You don’t know them.”

They pouted more and stomped away. I laughed to myself and took my guitar off the wall, playing for the rest of the time.

One more period before the end of the day. It went by quickly, it’s my quietest class. The final bell rang and I stayed in the classroom for a while, expecting Alex to come by. After a half hour and he hadn’t, I went outside and drove home.

After hours at home of being bored, it was getting a little later, so I decided to go for a walk to the park. Matt didn’t want to come because he’s a lazy fucker.

I was in the park, just walking around when I saw someone laying on the ground on the hill, arms behind their head. In the moonlight, I saw it was Alex. I frowned in confusion and walked over, laying next to him.

“Alex, what are you doing out here? Are you okay?”

“Have you ever thought about how far away from the stars we are?” He wondered, not looking at me or acknowledging my question. “We think they’re so small, but that’s just because we’re all the way down here. If we were to go up and look at a star, how small would we feel?” He just continued staring, thinking out loud. “I mean really, the little bursts of plasma up there look like almost nothing. But they’re not nothing. They light up the entire sky, make it worth looking at.”

I looked at him but didn’t say anything. I don’t think he wanted me to. He moved his arms from behind his head to rest on his stomach. His deep eyes had pure curiosity in them and the thoughtfulness of them was intriguing. His brownish blonde hair was in his face, so I reached up and brushed it away. He smiled but didn’t look at me. He just looked... Fragile.

“I just don’t understand how we can be down here doing nothing with our lives and hurting people on purpose while someone else might be up there, maybe in another galaxy, doing something to help their world. Building people up instead of breaking them down. It doesn’t make sense.” He said, frowning slightly. “If there is another human being in another galaxy, do they know about us? Why haven’t we found them? Why haven’t they found us? Or if they have, why haven’t they done anything about it? Because some of us really need saving.”

I liked when he sounded to smart and wondering. It was sort of cute and sexy at the same time. “I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t have the answers. Shouldn’t we let NASA figure that out?”

He sighed. “I guess so. I’m just curious.” He turned his head to look at me and smiled. I smiled back.

“Why are you here?” I asked. He sighed again and looked back up at the stars.

“I’m pissed at my family.”

“Why? What happened?”

“They want to send me to therapy a few times a week.”

“Oh.”

“And my brother, the one person I thought would defend me on this, my best fucking friend, is siding with my parents. He fucking betrayed me.” Alex said, getting a little angry. I put my hand on his to calm him down.

“Alex. Calm down.”

He sighed again. I withdrew my hand back to my side when I heard his name being called. “ALEX!”

He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Tom.” He mouthed. I nodded and stayed quiet.

“ALEX! I KNOW YOU’RE HERE!” Tom yelled.

“Over here.” Alex said loudly but not shouting. Tom came running over and stood above us.

“What the fuck? You scared the hell out of me!”

“And?” Alex tested.

“And you’re coming home right now so we can talk about this!”

“Try to make me Tom, let’s see how far you get.”

Tom looked at me. “Who’s that?”

“Jack.”

“Jack who?”

“Barakat.”

“Oh, the English teacher.”

I nodded. “Hi.”

Tom didn’t acknowledge me and turned back to Alex. “Get up. Now. We’re going home.”

“No.”

“Alexander, RIGHT. FUCKING. NOW.” Tom said sternly.

“No! I’m not going to therapy!”

“You’re right, you’re not. You’re going to rehab instead.”

Alex’s jaw dropped. “Wh-What? No!”

“Yes, now get the hell up and we’re going home.”

“Never.”

“Don’t make me force you Alex, we both know I’m stronger than you.”

“I don’t need rehab!”

“Yes you do! You just tried to kill yourself, for fucks sake! You need help! You are so emotionally unstable, there is something WRONG with you!”

I knew that one hit Alex like a slap in the face. I saw his eyes fill with tears as he got up and was tugged away by Tom. I could see tears rolling down his cheeks.

I got up also and left the park, going back home.

~~~
Alex’s POV

“There is something WRONG with you!” Tom yelled.

I felt like someone had just hit me in the face. My eyes filled with tears and I got up, knowing I had no choice. Tom grabbed my wrist hard and yanked me along behind him. Tears fell as I was thrown into the front seat of his car and driven home.

My parents were in the kitchen waiting. They watched as Tom shoved me in the room. “You told him?” My mom asked Tom.

“No shit.”

“Anyway, Alex, you’re going to rehab.”

“No. Please no.” I whispered.

“This is not negotiable Alex, you are going to rehab and that’s final!” My dad said. More tears fell and I ran up to my room, slamming the door and locking it behind me.

“Alex, open the damn door right this minute!” I heard Tom yell from the other side. I just fell on my bed and sobbed.

I knew what rehab meant. Tom used to work at a rehabilitation center, I heard things. All your belongings were taken and not given back until the end of your time spent there.

Which meant no iPod, no guitar, no clothes that were mine, no phone.

Which meant I would fall into deep depression and make me stay there longer. Which would mean even more time without those things.

And then Jack. So long without him. I really liked Jack. More than I should, considering he’s my teacher. I couldn’t help it. I wouldn’t fall in love, I didn’t believe in love. Love ended in a broken heart and nothing left to live for. Bullshit, love is.

Rehab would be complete hell. Sobs came faster and harder as Tom banged on my door. It stopped for a minute before the lock clicked and he flung the door open, storming in.

The little bitch picked my lock with a bobby pin.

“Stop crying.” He ordered, making me cry harder at his harsh tone.

My parents came in soon. “Alex, you have to understand why this is happening.”

“But I don’t!” I cried.

“You’re obviously broken. There’s something not right about you. You definitely need help.”

I froze. There’s something not right about me? What the hell? “Get the hell out of my room.” I snarled.

“Alex-“

“OUT!” I screamed. They all flinched and left, Tom giving me another glare before exiting the room.

I jumped up and grabbed a large bag, tossing clothes and my important things in it. And I climbed out the window and ran to Zack’s house, knocking on the door hard and loud before he came to the door in sweatpants and a tank top.

“Alex?” He said, confused.

“Can I stay here?” I asked breathlessly.

“Uh, sure, come on in.” He opened the door wider and let me in.

“Thanks.”

“Why?”

“Don’t ask. Family.”

He nodded as though he understood. “Okay, you can sleep wherever you want.”

I took the couch to be polite and lay down, not saying anything. Zack went upstairs and to bed while I lay in the darkness downstairs, trying not to cry.

My world was so fucked up.

Why did Tom have to find me? Why couldn’t he have forgotten about me and let me die on the bathroom floor? I deserved no other death than making it happen myself. It’s not like Tom ever cared about me in the first place if he had said all those things.

And my parents! Having the fucking NERVE to say there was something not right about me! Who’s parents say that to them?!

I jumped up and looked through my bag for what I needed and went to the bathroom, sinking the metal in my wrist a little, deep enough to draw blood. I felt bad for doing it in Zack’s house, but I needed it.

I ran water over it to clear the blood and went back out to the couch, dropping the razor in my bag.

I sighed angrily and fell asleep.

~~~
Jack’s POV

Alex walked in the room the next morning looking angry, broken, and hurt. I could see a bruise forming on his wrist from where his brother had grabbed him.

And on the opposite wrist, a thin red line.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Oh god no.

Not again.

Please no.

He looked like he had been crying all night. His hair was a mess and his eyes filled with hurt instead of happiness.

He didn’t even glance at me. Or anyone for that matter. He kept his head down the whole period, scribbling words in a notebook instead of paying attention to my lesson.

“Alex? Pay attention up here please.” I said, trying not to sound mean. He just sighed and flipped the page over, starting to take notes. He still didn’t look at me.

The lesson lasted longer than usual, but there was still free time. Alex didn’t sing for a while. Instead, he wrote things down. Probably song lyrics. Every so often, he would play something on his guitar, trying to find the perfect tune for the words. I guess he found it, because he played for a few minutes, quietly singing to words to himself.

I tried to catch the words, but with all the chatter around him, I didn’t hear it. It was a slower song though.

I didn’t even know how to help him, if he even WANTED my help. He hadn’t looked at anyone all period. I felt really bad for him. He was so misunderstood and fragile, yet he had to act like a douche. Poor kid.

At the end of the day, he didn’t come by. I IMed another teacher I knew he had.

JackBarakat- Was Alex Gaskarth responsive in your class today?

Not really. He didn’t look at anyone and just wrote things in a notebook for the whole period. Why?

JackBarakat- Because he always talks to me and others in my class, but today he didn’t look anywhere but at his notebook, writing things down. Thanks.

No problem.

I signed out and packed up my things, locking the room and going out to my car. There was one car in the student parking lot and there was someone stretched out across the hood and front windshield of it.

Alex.

I dropped all my things in my car and ran over to him. I’m not sure if he was asleep, but I noticed another red line on his wrist and a little bit of blood on the windshield from it. “Alex?” I whispered.

“Go.” He said.

“Alex.”

“Go. Now. Get away from me.” He didn’t open his eyes.

I sighed and left, going back to my car and driving home.

~~~
Alex’s POV

After Jack left, I got off my car and lay the seats down in the back, laying down and pulling an extra blanket around me. I used my clothes I had brought to Zack’s the night before as a pillow.

I wasn’t going back home.

And I wasn’t going to be alive a whole lot longer.

Notes

Sorry about this. Anyway... Comments please!