(READ DE NOTES PLEASE!)
I could feel Alex's hot breath fan down my face from above as we lay together. Our sweat slick bodies tangled together even after I slid myself back into my bra and tong, and Alex his boxers. But we found ourselves simply basking in the presence of one another as his hands traced designs down the hollow of my exposed spine and the two of us sharing scattered strings of lazy kisses.

I’m not going to lie... Losing my virginity. It was great. Given the circumstances it was inevitably awkward in the same time as it was breath taking in its ability to captivate my mind in the mass of sweat and curses. But maybe it was just because it was Alex who I had shared the experience with that made it feel so right, and I could only pray he felt the same way. I tucked my head to the side as I listened to the steady thud of Alex's heart sitting in his chest as his fingers traced circles down my bare arm.

All I could focus on was how in all reality of the situation, I felt no different. Aside from the lack of sexual tension from lying tangled with Alex half naked and a slight tinge of pain in my pelvis. Just like when I got my period, I didn't feel like a woman, or anything of that sort. Though, I will hand it to sex that it made me feel a Hell lot better than when I first got my period, that, was a given. But only if I knew what Alex's thoughts on the matter were. I mean, not trying to sound super uncomfortable like 6th grade health class, but he seemed to have enjoyed it. Oh god, I feel awkward just thinking that!

I sucked in a slow breath as I pulled my head off his still slightly sticky chest and blew out a sigh. His thoughts were unreadable as his expression was relaxed. His eyes were slid shut as he took slow calming breaths. Almost appearing asleep had it not been for his artistic hand on my skin. I dropped my eyes to his chest as I bit my lip at the sight I soon saw. Four thin red lines, a fifth slightly pink, all five running from right shoulder down over his chest to the waistband of his boxers. I placed my hand to the marks and felt him shutter, eyes opening as I cringed knowing they'd leave marks for a while.

But Alex didn't seem fazed as he smiled down on me and softly grabbed my hand with the one that had been drawing on my skin. Soothing over my knuckles with a gentle touch as he grinned at me. "How are you feeling?" He whispered as I blew out a slow breath.

Glancing up at his eyes with a smirk as I shifted my hips on the bed. "Now, don't get a big head..." I whispered as Alex took his hand from mine and placed his on my chin. "I'm a little sore..." I admitted as my eyes unwillingly slid shut. Alex leaned in to lazily kiss my lips before pulling me close and tangling me in his arms. Usually someone would find being in such close courters with a sweaty person repulsive. But not for this time. I took a deep breath as I ran my fingers over my marks on his skin with the hand wedge up in between us.

"Jasey..." Alex soothed as he pulled his head from my hair with a sigh. I hummed in response before hearing him let out a nervous breath bringing me to connect our gaze. "Can I ask you something?"

I craned my head back to look into his curious eyes. Giving him a chance to see my confused pout before I spoke. "Well all things considered, I am your girlfriend...who you just lost your virginity to, and are now lying half naked in bed with so, I'd hope you'd be able to ask me whatever you need answered."

Alex nodded his head shifting awkwardly as he loosened his hold on my form. The change giving me a little more wiggle room. "Well...uhm, its kind on that same train of thought..." He trailed off. Taking one arm off my waist as he scratched at the back of his neck looking rather uncomfortable. "Uhm, h- how- how was it; you know, l-like for you?" He stammered as I felt my cheeks flush quickly to a heated blush.

I instantly snuggled closer to his chest, feeling him sigh as he wrapped me in a lose hug. Sighing loudly in what seemed like relief. "It was...well," I hummed as I nuzzled my nose into his chest. Unable to fight the smile on my face as I giggled. "It was nice..." I felt his body relax against mine as I giggled again and craned my neck to kiss his jaw. "I don't know how good of a man-whore you'd be..."

Alex gasped in fake hurt as he pouted down on me. Waiting for me to kiss the frown on his face before he grinned a cheeky smile and nuzzled me close once again. Muttering, "It's fine; I'm a one woman kind of man anyhow..."

I giggled against his chest as he hugged me bone crushingly close and kissed my head. "Try telling the school that." I muttered against his skin as he scoffed again.

"Fuck the school!"

"Exactly!" I laughed as Alex began to chuckle again. He kissed my head softly as we fell back into a fog of silence. The two of our breaths mingling against our muggy skin as he kissed from my head to my temple and slowly curled to kiss my cheek before he finally caught my lips. The two of us exchanging lazy kisses in silence for a moment before we both pulled away and snuggled close without a word. Alex's hand returned to swirling little circles along my skin as I had to nip back my giggles from the tingling of his touch. He continued to kiss my shoulder and my neck as I tried to keep my cool. But soon his hand graced my side and I lost my shit. Giggling like mad as I curled into a ball and pushed his hands away.

I felt his hand cup my face as he brought me back close and smiled down on me with an unreadable expression. I was happy things weren't awkward right now. It was almost guaranteed that what we had just done an hour or so ago hadn't ruined anything between us. I let out a giggle as Alex ran his thumb over my lips and shook his head. Probably laughing in the memory of how dramatic we were while getting together, something we had shared a laugh about numerous times before. But as I looked back up at him I saw a small smile crook at his lips as I furrowed my brow, giggling a "what?"

Alex's smile slipped to a smirk as he pursed his kips. "I meant what I said earlier you know..." Alex smirked as I looked to him with a furrowed brow. "What I said, I meant it. I will never love anyone the same way I love you..."

I giggled at him as I let my smile slip. Alex's own adorable blush painting on his cheeks as he flashed me a heart stopping dimple with his crooked grin. "Are you trying to guilt trip me Alexander?" I laughed as he rolled me from my side to my back. The elder laughing along as his torso hovered over mine.

"Indeed..." He joked. "Jasey Rae Dawson, if you break my heart, I shall never love again!" He sang as he slipped into his British accent just this one time making us both giggle as he poked my nose. "But no..." He cooed. Quickly replacing his finger with his lips as he pecked the tip of my nose and swiftly pulled away. "I mean it..."

"How so?" I asked curiously as he pulled me back into his chest as we had been lying before. Alex rolling his spine to the mattress with a content sigh as he ran a hand down my back.

"Like I love Jack..." He began as I nodded my head. "You know in a brotherly, best-friend, bromance relationship, and I love Rian, in that weird fatherly-uncle-ish kind of way where I fear him in a friendliest way imaginable!" He laughed as I giggled profusely and hid my head in his chest. "And I love my mum, and my dad, and all my family..." He said softly now as he smiled down on me. "But I love none of them with the same force and power in which I love you..." He mused.

I could feel my heart beating in the back of my throat as I grinned at the boy. "I know just how you feel..."

"You do?"

"Of course..." I nodded as I slapped his chest to make him feel silly as I slid him one last lazy kiss. Feeling the way he pulled me close by the firm hand on my hip. "Because I feel the same. Exact. Way."

A wide grin pulled at Alex's lips as I giggled and hid my head in his chest. Feeling his rib cage ripple from the increased wave of his laugh. "You're so cute!" Alex gushed as I shook my head and crawled higher up in his arms. Fighting his attempts to pull me into a kiss as I hid my face in his neck. Letting my eyes slip shut as I tuned out of his incoherent mumbles. My mind focusing on the concoction of Alex's cologne as it swirled around my senses. The scent of rain, musk, mint and vanilla. But even with a mix of sweat and the spritz of the hairspray stuck in his hair, there was still one thing thrown into the mix I could never pick out. Something so different and special that pulled all the rest together and just screamed, Alex.

I let out a content sigh as I curled my head back to look up at him. Smiling as I saw his head turned towards me, his eyes softly shut as he soothed a hand to my hip. I really was one lucky bitch, I thought as I bit my lip. Building up the courage to say something as I look back down at the marks on his chest. Biting my lip once gain as I ran my hand over his skin. "Hey, Lex?" I called slowly.

The boy lifted his head as he slid his hand from my hip to my spine. A small smile pulled at his lips as he lifted his second hand to brush strands of hair from my face. "What's up?"

I bit my lip once again as I tried to conceal my grin. A foolish mistake as I dropped my head to his chest and drizzled my fingers over the lines on his chest. Torn between feeling content and guilty for marking his skin. He probably won’t be able to swim for a while unless he wants to explain to his parents why he looks like he was mauled by a puppy. Soon, my thought was cut off as words bubbled up. "Why aren't you with someone better than me?" I asked honestly. Alex not reacting a bit.

He didn't sigh or instantly protest. He didn't stop the hand calmly rubbing my back. All he did was slowly crook two fingers under my chin and lift my eyes. His golden orbs glistened with confusion as he pursed his lips at me for a moment. "Jasey, there is no one out there that is more perfect for me then you..." He said slowly. "Honest." I stared at him for a moment. Not believing nor saying a word. And as if he could read my mind through my eyes, Alex sighed. Rubbing his thumb on my cheek before saying, "Jasey, I swear to God there is no one on this earth I would rather be with then you..."

"Not even Colleen Shannon?" I grumbled and Alex let out an instant laugh. Giggling some more before he pretended to wipe away a fake tear at my comment. The girl in mention being Jack's personal favorite Play Boy Bunny of the year, my knowledge of her slim other than what Jack never failed to mention when comparing her with any blonde bimbo in town.

"Oh Jasey, Jasey Jasey..." Alex chuckled as I dropped my gaze to his slightly toned chest with a bitter sigh. "Why would I want her, when I have you?" Has asked.

I tried to fight the blush that I could feel creep up onto my face. I hated that I was ruining the moment but the more I thought about it the more I thought I wasn't worth being the one to share it with him. "Because she's probably perfect and has huge fucking tits..." I half-spat making Alex laugh. Something I wasn’t sure should worry or sooth me. But as he blew out a breath and kissed my temple he gave me my answer.

His voice was low and soft when he whispered in me ear. "Jasey don't you see, you're way beyond perfect to me..." I didn't want to be fooled by his cheesy remarks even if I could feel myself crumble, I knew it wasn't true. I don't know why I felt so suddenly insecure, but now the thoughts were here and there was no stopping them as they crashed down around me. Alex half chuckled again. "Jasey, you know any boobs Jack looks at are most likely fake, and besides..." He said, as if that would make me feel better. His hand slowly lifted my chin and with it my gaze as his eyes found mine with a playful grin. He raised a thick, bushed brow and shot a quick glance between me and my chest before widening his smile. "Did it look like I was complaining," he smirked before adding, "like, what-so-ever!"

There was no stopping the snap of my laughter that plowed past my chest. My hands instantly concealing my face which undoubtedly resembled the flesh of a ripe tomato. But Alex was quick to gently grasp my wrists and pull them away from my face. Ignoring my persistent protests as I shook my head and clamped my eyes. Leave it to him to pick up to mood with a comment like that. And yet again save the day when I felt his tingling lips brush my ear. "There’s the Jasey I like to see!" He chuckled quietly as I shook my head, subconsciously careful and aware of how close he was now. "And the smile I fell in love with may I add..."

I laughed loudly again as I broke a hand free and slapped a rather soft and deserving smack to his chest. Grumbling as I hid my face on his skin. Muttering, "That’d be cute but I had jacked up teeth and braces when I left!" The comment making us both laugh.

"Just shut up and accept my compliment!" He grumbled and kissed my neck. A sore patch I'd assume by the accidental hiss that left my lips catching us both off guard. Alex looked at me slightly worried but as I looked at him with the same expression he must have taken note of how I was unaware of the blotches lining my neck, chest and shoulders setting up the next day to be a hassle with getting ready. I smiled at my boyfriend reassuringly as he lazily kissed my nose before pressing his to mine. "You're perfect..." He mumbled as I bit my lip. This, this is what I loved about Alex.

Most would want to bash their skulls open with our bipolar emotions, even though the train of thought stayed the same, we often were attention deficit when it came to how we actually felt. One moment we were giggles and tickles, the next I was hissing about a Play Boy Bunny and hating myself. But no matter what, we stayed the same. The string off thoughts pulled a smile across my lips as I humbly shook my head. "No Alex," I whispered, "We, are perfect."

"Oh, ho, ho!" Alex chuckled now as he poked my belly, making me squirm in the slightest. "Who's the cheesy one now?"

"Shut up!"

"Gladly..." He mused before kissing my lips in yet another lazy kiss. A kind of kiss that took no effort at all and was most likely cringe worthy but still managed to bubble a pit of heat in my stomach. His hand traveled to my hair as he pulled away. Pecking my lips once before he nuzzled his little button nose back against mine. "This really is perfect..." He sighed as I nodded my head. "But there is one issue with this..." Alex said softly as I pulled my face away from his. Looking up at him with our moist bodies still tangled together as I lofted a brow.

"What issue?"

Alex bit his lip nervously as he brushed a few stray hairs from my temple. "Rian..."

"Rian?" I repeated, pulling slightly away as I skewed up my nose. "Okay, Alex, ew!" I muttered, sitting up as I pulled my sticky skin from his and instantly reached for the nearest shirt taking up space at the foot of his bed.

"WHAT?"

"Alex, when your are lying butt ass naked in bed with someone, the last thing you should do is mention their brother!" I gagged as I pulled the shirt over my head. Adjusting the hem as it bunched up around my waist.

"Noo!" Alex dragged as he snatched me by my hips and pulled me back down into his chest. "First of all, we are not 'butt ass naked', we are both in as you could say undergarments!" He joked as I rolled my eyes. "But secondly... When Rian finds out..." Alex stopped for a moment as he blew out a long breath. "He's gonna kill me."

I bit my lip as I ran my fingers down Alex's bare chest. My eyes widening, "shit..." I muttered. Alex pulling back as he looked down on me with a furrowed brow. My hand ran straight through my hair as I groaned. "Your mom... She's going to hate me!"

Alex laughed softly as he kissed my nose muttering, "No she won’t!"

"Alex, I'm the girl who took her youngest child and only son's virginity!" I argued as I hid my head in his chest. Feeling the area vibrate as he laughed once again. His hand running through my hair.

"Jase, my mom thinks I traded in my 'V-Card' in ages ago," he chuckled as he fiddled his fingers through the ends of my hair. "Who do you think bought me the condoms?" He whispered in my ear as I let out a bubbly loud laugh and smacked his chest.

"That’s so awkward!" I whined as I smacked his bare skin.

Alex laughed loudly again. "YOU'RE TELLING ME!" He grinned. "And besides she's not going to think you like deflowered me or anything..." He grinned now as he rubbed his nose against mine. "If anything she'll be proud that you made me a man!"

"I HATE YOU!" I laughed, blushing violently as I hid in his arms. The boy kissing my head as he tangled his arms around me. He then rolled me on top of him so I sat on his hips. But with my body nuzzled close it didn't seem sexual. Even as his hand traveled lightly up and down my spine, it seemed innocent. He had begun to softly hum in my ear as I brushed my fingers along his shoulder.

"I love you..." Alex mumbled. His hand brushing my back as I sat up. Pecking his lips as I straightened my spine and sat up right over him. His hands slid up my sides to where he softly smiled at me and brushed my hair off my shoulders. "You are one of the most important people on my life, you know that?"

I blushed profusely in that instant as I curled and kissed his lips. Feeling him slime against my own. "I love you too..." I mumbled pecking a kiss. "So, so much!" Alex laughed again as he cupped my face, holding it hovered over his own. Just letting his golden eyes investigate mine as he grinned. It was funny, being in love. It was just a constant rush of warmth and tingles you never thought you would feel. Never thought could happen when being so young. Never thought it'd be real. But it was. It happened. It happened suddenly and fast when I least expected it but needed it most.

Just feeling the warmth wash from Alex to me, I could fight off the smile that claimed its place on my lips. I sat up once again as his hands fell from my face, eventually finding themselves to rest on my hips. But as I sat up I finally got a good look at the boy. Alex's hair was a mangled mop on top his head, no longer looking like its usual purposely mussed up look. His eyes looked glazed and tired and his lips were plump and slightly bruised. Hickeys and bite marks lined his collar bones and chest, and not to forget my claw marks running down his chest. "Enjoying the view?" Alex laughed, breaking me from my thoughts as I bit my lip and nodded slightly.

"Your hair is a wreck..." I giggled reaching out and running a hand through his fringe as he rolled his eyes. "And you got some nice looking hickeys!"

"Well that’s your fault!" He laughed softly as I ran my hand down his neck. Making him shudder under my touch. "You better help me cover some of these up or my mom really will kill me!"

I giggled at him. "Well I don't have anything on me to cover them up!" Alex sighed as he bit his lip. Seeming to think things over for a moment before an idea slapped him in the face. His eyes popped wide as he laughed.

"Wait right here!" He instructed as he grabbed my hips and flipped us over. Hovering above me for a moment before he sat back on his knees. "Jill and Helen might have left makeup here for the few times a year they visit!" He told me before scrambling off the bed and rushing for the door still clothed in nothing but his boxers. Jillian and Helen were Alex's elder half-sisters and they didn't come often. Hell they didn't even show up for Christmas but I knew for a fact they kept things here to make packing for their rare trips easier.

And sure enough, a few moments later, Alex reappeared in the door. A rather decent sized makeup bag covered in polka dots in his hands and a confused look on his face as he peered into the bag. "Come over here..." I laughed, rolling my eyes as I scooted to the side of his bed before standing up.

"I don't understand girls..." Alex muttered as I shuffled to the side and plucked the makeup bag from his hands. Letting him take his place on the edge of the mattress as I shuffled through the products. Finding a place the start to cover up the marks too high to hide with a shirt. I easily located a yellow and mint green concealer to balance the bruise in addition to some other products before I looked to Lex to see his amused grin. A cocky little smile occupying his lips as he leaned his palms back on the bed.

"What?"

"Nothing..." He shrugged as he crooked his lips. I raised a brow as I zipped the bag and tossed it on the bed making him laugh. "You just look fucking adorable in my shirt." He grinned. My questionable look was swallowed by a blush as I looked down at my body. The shirt was large and worn and a plain gray color, but the thing absolutely swallowed my body. The sleeves hit my elbows as the hem hit my thighs; I probably looked like a little kid. "Come here, fix my skin..." He laughed, leaning forward to reach out and grab my wrist and pulled me down to straddle his lap.

I was a giggling mess all while getting comfortable, and dropping the makeup products I'd need to the bed beside him. My eyes flickered between Alex's marks and his eyes. The bruises were fresh, but forming fast. The color wasn't as bold as I knew it would be the next day, but it was vibrant enough to cover it properly to hold him over till the next time he showered. "I didn't realize I did so much..." I mumbled into a giggle as I plucked a small makeup brush off the comforter. Taking the small tube of yellow concealer as I blessed art classes and squeezed a bit onto my hand.

"Again..." Alex hummed as I twirled my brush in my hand. "Did I look like I was complaining?" He chuckled as I rolled my eyes. Cocky little bastard, I thought as I dipped the brush into the concealer and tipped his head to the side with a smirk. "Why yellow?" He asked with a skewed up expression.

"Because..." I muttered as I dabbed the purple center of the highest of marks. One right by the base of his ear but out too far to be his by his hair. "The bruise is purple, and yellow cancels that because they are from opposite sides of the color wheel..." Alex hummed, clearly not fully understanding as I snatched the green from the bed and moved to do the same with a new brush on the outside of the mark.

"How do you know that?" He asked as I finished the first mark and moved to the next. I went to respond about learning the canceling and complimentary effects of colors in art class but as I went in with the yellow, my words were replaced with a prominent hiss. "Ahh..."

"Shit." I freaked as I looked at him. "You okay?" I rushed as my hand jumped back. My eyes wide as my face was painted with concern only to have Alex laugh. I looked down at the mark and had to admit, it looked a little tender and red but I didn't think I had done enough to hurt him.

"I'm fine babe..." Alex laughed as he tilted his head back and placed his hands on my hips. "Just be gentle on that one, the rest don't hurt..." He said as I pouted but did just that. Going over the last few marks coloring his neck rather quickly before coating them with a concealer that matched his skin enough to not raise concern thanking God he had managed to get some color and pair up to his sister, otherwise we would have run into some trouble. I was dusting a powder over the last of his skin as I noticed the lines on his chest once again and smiled sadly at him.

"You want me to do something about these?" I asked quietly as I looked up at him. Alex was rolling his stiff neck before he scratched his head and finally looked to me with a furrowed brow. His confusion cleared as I reached up and ran my hand down the trail.

"Oh!" He gasped in realization, even though a small smile pulled at his lips. "No, leave 'em." He said shaking his head as I looked up at him.

"You sure?"

"Yeah!" He insisted as I reached for the makeup bag to put the few things away. "Not meaning to sound like a douche but it’s kind of hot, you know?" He smirked as I shot him a look before promptly rolling my eyes. Alex just laughed again as I snatched the last of his sisters stuff and slid from his lap. "Having your mark on me sounds tacky and degrading, but no one will see it but me, and you, and I find it really hot."

"You’re so weird..." I commented before turning to place the bag on his desk only to have to bite back a hiss when I took that first step. Lying down I thought I was a little stiff, but no, I was fucking sore. I bit down hard on my lip as I practically limped to his desk as fast and as normally as I could; praying Alex had turned his attention to something else and didn't notice. But as per usual, I was had no such luck.

I quickly spun around to see his eyes wider than ever before. His gaze locked between my face and my hips. "Jasey..." He said slowly as he got to his feet and I quickly shook my head, trying to tell him I was fine. "Why are you walking like that...?"

"Like what?" I said casually, well as casually as I could.

"Like you’re in pain..." He said as he walked over to me. Not touching me in the slightest as he looked to me with sympathetic eyes. "Jasey, did I hurt you?"

"No, Alex trust me, I'm fine!" I insisted as Alex placed his hands on his hips and looked down on me with sad eyes. I tried to smile up at him but he wasn't buying. The truth was, unless I tried to walk it was just a dull pain. I'd survive perfectly fine.

"Babe, be honest," he soothed as I looked to him. "Did I hurt you during any of that?" The worry was so clear on his face I almost felt bad that I found it endearing. It was sweet to see him so concerned over my wellbeing. And though it wasn't the perfect experience, neither of us were expecting fireworks, it was still nice. I bit down on my lip as I shook my head. "I don't believe you."

"Alex, I'm fine." I pleaded as Alex batted his brown eyes. I blew out a sigh as I looked at him. A thought hitting me as I smirked at him, causing his brow to crunch. "Did I look like I was complaining?" I smirked as Alex began to laugh. Giggling as I added "like what-so-ever!"

"Shut up!" He laughed as he scooped me up. Carefully carrying me back to his bed where he placed me down before he too climbed under the covers and snuggled me close. His head resting to mine as I looked to the window at the now setting sun and cringed.

"I need to go soon, Lex." I whispered as Alex quickly shook his head in protest. Pulling me flush against his chest. Mumbling things like 'please don't go just yet,' as I sighed. "Alex, I can't."

Alex burrowed his nose into my neck as he held me tighter with a sigh. Whining, "Stay the night!" As I rolled my eyes.

"Alex I can't." I repeated as Alex kissed my neck in a lazy manner.

"Come on," he whined, his grip on me tightening as I sighed. "Just stay and cuddle with me all night!" I let out another breath. Cuddling with Alex sounded really nice, and it wasn't that I didn't want to stay it was that I couldn't. But knowing that fact didn't bother Alex as he wiggled his nose on my neck letting his hair tickle my skin.

I giggled as I ran a hand through the strands at the back of his head. "Alex, it's Thursday, we have school tomorrow." I sighed as Alex looked up and pouted at me.

"Can't we skip?"

"Alex, I do love you very much, but I'm not skipping school to have sex with you!" I exclaimed as Alex quickly shook his head as propped himself up on an elbow as he pulled his body from mine.

"No! Not like that!" Alex quickly shook his head. "No, I just want to sit in our PJs all day and snuggle up and watch movies!" He whined. I puffed out my lips as I awed at him. Placing my hands on his chest as I leaned up to softly kiss his lips.

"Alex, you are precious!" I cooed as he simply rolled his eyes. Climbing out of bed and leaving me behind as I frowned. "What are you doing?"

"It's Thursday!" He mocked as he snatched a shirt from the floor and tugged it over his head. "You need to get home!" I pouted as he made his way over to me and gently lifted me from the bed before placing my feet on the ground. Grinning like a mad man as he took my hand. "C'mon, we..." He paused as he grabbed my shirt off the floor and sent me a wink. "Got to get you home!"







(READ DE NOTES PLEASE!)

Notes

yeah so i got halfway through with the read though and just gave up.. so any mistakes will be fixed later. i just cant do it right now...


sorry you had to wait so long and i know this is kind of all over the place and im sorry about that but i just a lot of shit went down with me in the past few days and its been really fucking with my brain so you guy's supports does mean the world to me and im trying to kick myself here to get back to my normal self so i am trying but idk


ill try and finish the next chapter as soon as i can.. and i love you guys so just thank you so much for all you have done and continue to do for me.. its mind blowing so thank you.

-sarah