No Pads… No Helmets… Just Memories!

"Jasey...?"

"Go away." I muttered rolling over so my back was towards the door.

"Come on Jace" the voice cooed as the end of my mattress dipped down.

"I don't want to talk about it Jack." I spat rolling onto my stomach.

"Come on I already have Alex ignoring me, please don't leave me with Rian and Zack!" He whined smacking my calf awkwardly.

"Jack I really don't want to talk about Alex."

"Who said I was here to talk about Alex?" He asked causing me to roll over to look up at the skunk haired boy.

"Why else would you be here?" I questioned crossing my arms over my chest.

"Come on Jace!" He dragged as he crawled under my comforter and tried to nuzzle his lanky figure beside my petite frame. "Cant I just want to cuddle?"

"No." I spoke up scooting over to make more room for his larger body; he didn't need to say anything. It was Thursday afternoon and we all had gone almost whole week without a word from Alex, Jack's reasoning for being in my room was plain as day, "and I don't know anything."

"Anything about what?" He questioned cocking his head.

"Alex, oh my god!" I stressed smacking my head, "I don't know anything about Alex!"

"Oh..." He hushed suddenly.

"Yeah..." I mumbled playing with my fingers, "he wouldn’t tell me anything."

"You talked to him?" He questioned settling into the mattress.

"If you could call it that... It was a one sided conversation that much was pure!" I rolled my eyes already done reliving the beat down.

"Well did he at least say why he's been avoiding school and band practice?" Jack asked placing a hand over mine to stop the pattering on my stomach.

"No, but it might be cause he looked like he had the shit kicked out of him!" I mumbled and winced when Jack boomed sitting upright. "Yeah, he wouldn’t tell me what happened or who did it but I couldn’t help but feel...but feel." I mumbled out before I sighed and gave up.

"Feel what?" Jack pushed, pulling on my arm to sit me up lightly.

"I couldn’t help but feel like it’s my fault, and that’s why he won’t tell me, cause he knows I'll get mad."

"Well are you mad?"

"YES!" I snapped, "Yes, I’m mad." I repeated in a more hushed tone as I shrunk into the head board.

"Then what’s the point in keeping anything more from you?" Jack questioned.

"I don't know!" I pleaded rubbing my temples, "if I knew I wouldn’t be so damn confused and frustrated, GOD why does he do this!"

"I don't know..." Jack mumbled into his chest.

"It’s like one second were going at it, and we hate each other, the next he’s being all flirty and normal happy Alex, then he’s keeping secrets from me!"

"I really wish I could tell you." He sighed.

"You’d think he’d be honest with me at the least after all we’ve been through!" I exasperated, "it’s like we need any more drama!"

"I wish I knew what the hell was going through his head," Jack sighed. "He’s not just screwing you and me over but the whole band too; we can’t afford anymore fuck ups."

just as I was about to open my mouth my phone buzzed, alerting me that I got a text message, usually I would have just ignored it but I sat upright as Jack leaned over to grab my phone and flipping it open. His face growing hard as his eyes scanned the screen.

"Jack, who is it?" I asked picking at my nails not all that sure if I wanted to know.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, his eyes rolling over the screen as if he was reading and re-reading the text over and over again.

"Shoot!" I sighed dropping my hands to look up at him.

"How did Tammy get your number?"

"WHAT?" I yelled snatching the device from his hands, my eyes quickly reading the text message.

Hey Jasey, soooo sorry to hear that thinks with you and Lex aren’t peachy!

I should have guessed she of all people would have something to do with this.

But I might have something that could be of aid to you!

Did I want to know?

Just take a peek at Lex's MySpace page; I’m sure everything will become crystal clear! Btw it’s Tammy. Like u already didn't know ;) :*
-T

I all but fell out of my bed as I scrambled to my laptop on my desk, pushing the screen up to turn it on I sat impatiently running my hands over my face, not even making it into the deckchair.

"What does she want?" Jack nearly spat, alarming me but not all that surprising as she seemed to the only factor tearing him from his best friend at that point.

"I don't know my laptops still turning on!" I yelled in aggravation, "You think she had something to do with Alex avoiding everyone?"

"Well I don't think she doesn’t!" He yelled almost sarcastically, pacing back and forth as the screen lit up and I got to work.

Quickly I pulled up his MySpace page and nearly threw up at his last post. I fell back to the hardwood floor with a thud as my door was flung open an in stepped Andrea.

"DID YOU SEE ALEX'S MYSPACE?" She spat, rage written in her tone as I looked up at her, my eyes already clouding with tears. My eyes scanned back to the screen as my hand flew over my mouth to stop the sob as I looked up at his last post. "Jasey..." She cooed sitting down beside me to pull me into her chest it was clear Andrea was someone to have around for the cheerful times but turned up pretty useless in being to socially awkward to successfully comfort any individual, Jack like wise.

"THIS IS A JOKE RIGHT!?" Jack yelled causing me to wince into Andrea further. He had clearly just taken notice of the photo on the screen. A photo from the Halloween party. Of Tammy, on Alex, with no one other than me disgusted in the background. Posted by Alex himself. "He’s dug himself a deep hole this time!" Jack paced back and forth. "WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?"

"Jack..." I whispered out.

"How could he do that after all the drama that caused the first time around?" Andrea spat giving her two cents.

"YOU KNOW JASEY I REALLY THOUGHT ALEX WANTED TO BE DIFFERENT, I THOUGHT HE MEANT WHAT HE SAID TO YOU BUT I GUESS NOT!" Jack yelled.

"Jack!" I spoke up causing his pacing to stop.

"What?"

"Go to Alex," I whispered looking down at my hands in my lap, "tell him I get it, I’m out of your hair, he can come back to school and band practice, I’ll stay away."

"Jasey..."

"I have to do this jack!" I shouted as my voice broke with a sob, "I can’t let me ruin the band, just go!"

"Jasey just let me ta-"

"GO!" I sobbed looking up at his deep brown eyes.

He looked at me in disbelief before I shot him one last look of assurance and he did as I asked. Leaving me to stare into air and ignore Andrea’s concerned words, as the tears fell freely. No words could make this okay; no one person could stop my cries as I lost the one person I thought was forever.

Again.

Notes