I wish I could

I had felt pretty bad after the incident with Matt but I had distracted myself by drawing and I felt better already.

Half an hour to go. Time to get ready. I had already showered. What was I supposed to wear?! I rummaged through my clothes and after looking at what felt like 300 pants I settled on blue skinny jeans. The t-shirt. Oh God. Which one to take? I wanted to look cute but in a hot way. I decided to wear a Bring Me The Horizon tank top and a light blue button down. I put on new socks and so I would smell good everywhere and took a deep breath. I was ready. No wait actually I needed to pee.

Now I really was ready. I took the letter and stuffed it into my pocket. I put on my red sneakers and left the bus. The others didn’t know where I was going; they thought I would meet up with an old friend from the town.

On the short walk to the tree, I tried not to let my nerves get to me; instead I studied the beautiful surroundings. The sun was hanging low and everything was painted golden. It looked so warm and perfect.

I wandered through the grassy field sprinkled with bushes until I saw the tree. My heart started racing. What would expect me?

I first noticed the blanket on the ground and the basket of food. Next, I saw Alex. He looked adorable, wearing grey skinnies and a white button down. As I got closer, I caught sight of his guitar, propped up against the tree’s stem. Oh my God. Was he planning on playing for me?
I got even closer and saw that Alex was very nervous. He was pale but a big smile came to his face when he saw me.

“Hi Jack, I’m so happy you came,” he greeted me.

“Hey Lex,” I replied.

“Would you sit down here?” he asked, pointing to the blanket. I sat down and looked up to him.
“Ok first off, I want to say that I don’t want to fuck our friendship up, so if you feel like this is not what you want, please leave now,” he said, eyes suddenly becoming very sad.

“Alex, stop it. You are special to me in a way that is more than friends. I am so happy you feel the same, so carry on with whatever you have prepared,” I replied, watching his face light up.
“Alrighty then, I made a thing for you,” he mumbled, looking even more nervous.

He took his guitar, sat down next to me and started strumming. It sounded feathery and light and soon he added his beautiful voice to it.

“I wish you could see your face right now
'Cause you're grinning like a fool
And we're sitting on your kitchen floor
On a Tuesday afternoon
It doesn't matter when we get back
To doing what we do
'Cause right now could last forever
Just as long as I'm with you

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose

We would go out on the weekend
To escape our busy lives
And we'd laugh at all the douche-bag guys
Chasing down their desperate wives
I would drink a little too much
You'd offer me a ride
And I would offer you a t-shirt
And you would stay another night

But you're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose

We never stood a chance out there
Shooting love in real-time
So we'll take it over ice tonight
With a little salt
And a little lime

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you
And I'll keep you a daydream away
Just watch from a safe place
So I never have to lose

You're just a daydream away
I wouldn't know what to say if I had you…”

He strummed the last chord and I blinked away a tear. This was the cutest thing anyone had ever done for me.

We stayed silent for a bit before Alex started talking.

“Jack, I don’t want to watch from a safe place anymore. I want you to be close to me. I… I love you,” he said softly.

I got a little closer to him until our thighs almost touched. I carefully put away his guitar and looked into his dark eyes. He still looked tired but he looked beautiful to me. I leaned in a bit and got a whiff of his aftershave. He touched my hand lightly and leaned in too, until our lips were almost touching. I closed the gap between them and close my eyes, letting myself fall.

It was a perfect first kiss, soft but passionate at the same time in this golden landscape. Reluctantly, I ended the kiss and looked into his eyes again.

“Alex, I love you too.”

He kissed me again, a bit more demanding this time and I didn’t hesitate to kiss back. We stopped and lied down next to each other, looking up at the leaves of the tree but we both couldn’t help but steal a glance at each other from time to time.

After some time, Alex asked whether I would want a drink and something to eat. I was actually quite hungry so I said yes, not expecting what was going to come. He pulled out some bagels, peanut butter and a bottle of milk.

We started munching away, watching the sun set. I fed little pieces of my bagel to him and he did the same for me. It was adorable.

When the sun had gone down completely, we didn’t leave. We stayed there for some more time, stargazing and making wishes when we saw a shooting star.

It slowly got colder and we decided to go back to the bus. I held on to Alex’s hand tightly as we made our way back to the bus.

When we arrived there, we snuggled into Alex’s bunk. He took his pill and before we fell asleep, Zack stopped by to tell us that he would be there if anyone wanted to hurt us.

I fell asleep smiling, Alex in my arms and his scent in my nose.

Notes

I really like this chapter c:
Did I meet your expectations?
-Laura