"What did he say to you?" Vic demanded as he and the others emerged from the tent. Zack had just left and my mind was racing. The whole thing had been a lie? Well, not a lie, a misconception, but still! "Carrie," Vic's tone softened as he noticed the tears appear. "Did he hurt you?" Mikes fists curled at thought and I had to defuse the tension quickly.
"No, no, he didn't touch me." My voice was breaking and Vic and Mike exchanged angry glances. As hard as it was not to, I tried to keep from laughing. One thing that could always cheer me up was an angry Vic, he was just so cute and his nose got all scrunchy. "Nothing happened, calm down."
"Something had to have happened, Carr." Mike put his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest. "You wouldn't be crying otherwise." My whimpers had transformed into full blown sobs and my cheeks were dripping wet. I turned and planted my wet face into Mikes shoulder, my body shaking.
"I.. I don't... know what to do!" I pushed out between sobs. Mike pulled me to the couch and I cuddled in his lap. "He... he said that... that... he wasn't right... in... in... in saying tha... that Al... A, Alex... was being hu... hurt... by me being a... around." Vic sat next to us and leaned between my two brothers.
"We don't understand, bubba." Vic cooed.
"I was... I avoided Al... Alex... because... Zack said... th... that... I remin... reminded hi...hi.... hi..." I couldn't get the words out and Mike pulled me tighter against his chest, rocking me.
"Calm down, Carrie. You need to fill us in." Mikes voice was soft and soothing. "We haven't got a clue what happened." I took a breath and tried to calm myself, forcing the tears to stop flowing.
"I avoided Alex... be...because Zack... t... told me that... I was... reminding h... him of his ex... Chloe... who... k...killed... herself... when...wh...when we were in..h...h..high school." I felt
Mike's jaw drop as he looked at Vic.
"Oh honey. Well do you? Is that why Zack was here?" I nodded, to the second part at least. I had managed to calm myself to a point where I could continue the conversation without stuttering and gasping.
"He said that he had got it wrong and Alex said I was making it better, not worse. He apologized for the trouble he caused and asked me to fix it."
"He asked you to fix it?" Jemma piped in. "But it was his fault!"
"No that's not what I meant." I sighed and pulled away from Mike to sit between the boys. "Zack has a plan for me to 'reunite' with Alex, but its stupid and if it goes wrong..." Jemma stood up and waved her arms around angrily.
"Oh my god! We've been together for forty-eight hour and we already have drama with other bands! Holy shit." We all laughed at her display and she smiled, proud she could cheer me up.
"So what's his magical plan?" Lee asked, leaning onto his knees to get closer from the couch opposite me.
"He wants me to run on stage during Remembering Sunday and surprise him." I sighed. Holy shit I was sighing a lot, but I suppose it was relevant to my frustrations over the situation. Both bands stared at me and Jaime muttered that that was the worst idea ever if it went wrong and Melody slapped him saying it was sweet.
"Sure, it's sweet, but it's not a movie Mel." Jaime was oddly serious. "If Alex gets angry about her being there after the whole charade with him attending our set than we have an argument in front of a crowd, again." Mike and Vic nodded and Tony remained still.
"I say give it a shot." Caleb pitched in from the kitchen area where he was making a sandwich. "And if goes well, sweet, we're the band whose lead singer dates Alex Gaskarth, lift off." We all stared at him, none of us knowing how to take it. "OR if it goes terrible, then we're All Time Low's arch enemies and any fan that doesn't like their music will come running to us. Chloe's Smile wins either way lift off wise."
"Holy shit, that was the most I've ever heard you say!" Vic laughed and every one but me joined in, it gave me visions of that day in music class where Alex had said almost the exact same thing to me. "But no way, there's no way on hell I'm even allowing the possibility of my little sister getting hurt and embarrassed again." I started to protest but Mike cut me off.
"He's right. It's a stupid idea. If you need to fix things with this guy you hardly know so badly just fucking talk to him."
"But..."
"No Carrie. It's not happening." Jaime pitched in.
"Well fuck you all. I'll decide later, by myself, without your input." I snarled. "You can;t keep deciding everything for me you know. I'm not a kid anymore, Vic. I'm twenty years old for fucks sake." I rolled my eyes and stood up, beckoning to the rest of my band. "If you'll excuse us, we need to practice." Chloe's smile piled off the bus and went back to rehearsing in the tent, we needed more than three practices before we graced the stage time we were stealing from Pierce The Veil.

We arrived in Los Angeles at exactly 9am on the 25th of August, 2007. The day Chloe's Smile would first play to a crowd. The day we would first be heard and announced. It was nerve racking, and to make it worse I still couldn't get over the fact that Zack had left me with the decision to sing Remembering Sunday and patch things with Alex. The only reason Alex singing along with Hold On Till May didn't fix everything was because I was still utterly convinced that my every breath was like a dagger in his side. Every inch of me wanted to go straight after the boys set and jump onto that stage and sing with Alex, I knew every note to that duet. I had had the song stuck in my head ever since I heard it the first day of Warped. The discussion with Vic and Mike earlier about letting me even consider the idea had be rough. Neither of them trusted Zack after I explained to them what happened and neither of them agreed that randomly appearing on stage with him, however cute and movie like it would be, was the best idea. I was still wrestling with the idea myself, I didn't know if I wanted to see Alex. I mean, every inch of me reached out to him when he passed me on his way places during the tour but I had spent this long ignoring and denying him that I was scared to do anything different. I had given Zack a resounding no, but that had been out of anger, out of spite. He had ruined my new found relationship with Alex and I was not going to do what ever he said, even though it was a great idea.

Notes

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